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RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/24/2005 7:57:20 AM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

The smart shopper will always take careful note of the return policy.



ah caitlyn i love your direct dry humor and gotcha, gotta go style.

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/24/2005 8:00:41 AM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline 		RaeRae,
i read your profile....those who slip away have no integrity....tis just my opinion based on my experience.

your needs, your desires until you find one you can submit too.... and of course, loves your child and takes care of your child the way you need and want.

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/24/2005 6:10:26 PM   
ehlovindom


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RaeRae39


Thanks again for everyone's input. I really know the importance of a Dom being adaptable with me having a young daughter, {she is 12}, so if he doesn't like children, or isn't particularly good with them, it's not good. I dated one that actually told me that he loved me, but, told me I should consider shipping her off to boarding school if I indeed wanted to be with him. Needless to say, that didn't work out~!!!!!
Ah, here is another little question I have: What does it mean, on a second date, the Dom says he is cheap>? What is the purpose in that statement?
Rae


I think you are shopping in the discount Dom's R Us store or the leftover bins. Perhaps you want to check out some of the more upscale "family-friendly" Dom stores?


_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to RaeRae39)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/24/2005 9:27:07 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		In fact, maybe "shopping" is the wrong way to go about it. I shop for Ronzoni and Coke. I don't shop for subs.

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/24/2005 9:58:55 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

Those that want you to stop talking to others and be only theres right away would be throwing up red flags to me. If they are that insecure about some friendly competition, and not concerned with you being ready to make a full commitment what kind of recipe would that be in a relationship with them?

Take your time, meet lots, and be selective. This is your life and your body we are talking about here.



I agree with Suzanne here 100% and a definite red flag.

I have three teenagers and was always mentioned that to anyone I talked to immediately. I completely understand that some people just don't want to be involved with someone with kids, or maybe that was too many, the difficulties with teenagers, whatever. That's cool, I just always wanted to know up front.

I was very picky and it definitely took a long time, but when I met Master, I knew that it had been the right thing to do and was very glad that I had been patient.

As for someone stating upfront that they were cheap...........that one I would definitely try to find out if they were just trying to weed out golddiggers. Financial concerns were not something I was looking for, but to me, being cheap is just not an attractive trait. I also was talking with a dom once and after we exchanged many emails, he then told me that he expected the submissive/slave to be completely and totally responsible for ALL financial aspects of the relationship. Literally pay for absolutely EVERYTHING and it was up to the slave to budget accordingly to make this possible. In our case, we both lived with children, so he expected me to pay for a hotel room once a week, as well as everything else. That was just not something I was willing or even capable of doing.

But those are exactly the things you should be learning up front. Take your time, be picky! You're worth it!

Blessed be,
harmony

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/25/2005 1:17:38 AM   
Darkman6


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/17/2005
Status: offline 		I dunno...I'm very Dom, and I think that was prudent. At 50, I have just enough of a foot in the old world to think rushing is foolhardy, and besides, isn't the anticipation a turn-pon when things are going well?
Any Dominant worth his salt is going to spend those first five dates assessing what turns this submissive on, to guarantee them both a wondrous experience.
If all this is too sappy, well, I'll just have to live with it.
Go, girl. Wish you were here.

Darkman6

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/25/2005 1:25:23 AM   
Darkman6


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/17/2005
Status: offline 		Anytime anyone says 'I'm the one for you' right off the bat, walk away. Human relationships are so complex that is the word of a fool. I think I'm a superior lover, but most drivers think they'rev above average too, and we all know the highways are rife with nuts and incompetents. I may be thrilling for one and a complete boob with someone else.
How to find out. Both Doms and subs, just date carefullly, be honest, and listen, listen, listen. Sub women love to tell what they like, but we Doms have to shut up long enough to hear them, then acts to please you. That's your guy if he does that.
Good luck,

Darkman6

(in reply to RaeRae39)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/25/2005 2:07:31 AM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RainGod
The same goes for single Dads out there, too. I cannot tell you how often I have run into the "oh, you have a kid you are raising? Oh, well, I can't handle that." and that's cool... but it seems to Me that someone would see a single parent standing on her/his own and sticking to their guns and raising their child as they should do... and respect that about them. It seems it would be a sign of sincere determaination and dedication to duty. I find that very appealing... and not just because I am a single Dad, either.


being a single parent is one of the most important and difficult jobs there can be. i fully respect anyone who is undertaking that job. i find it not only appealing, but it shows me that the person has their priorities well set. while it doesn't make for 24/7 life, a life can nonetheless be worked around the children. in time, once a strong relationship is in place, it can then involve the children in a healthy, not inappropriate way. kudos for all single parents.

(in reply to RainGod)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/25/2005 3:19:28 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
quote:

In fact, maybe "shopping" is the wrong way to go about it. I shop for Ronzoni and Coke. I don't shop for subs.

Lordandmaster


Coco Cola rules; i want to scene with the polar bear. i suffer from species confusion; i still have the hots for mighty mouse. BTW, what is Ronzoni?

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 9/25/2005 3:20:01 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/25/2005 9:18:51 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RaeRae39
What does it mean, on a second date, the Dom says he is cheap>? What is the purpose in that statement?


It means "don't expect me to spend any of my money on you." Or it could mean "I can't spend any money because my wife will find out." Or it could mean, "I lied to you about what I do. I told you I'm a vice president and own a BMW, but what I really do is work at McDonalds and drive an 82 VW Rabbit".

In any scenario be prepared that money will always be a battle between you.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to RaeRae39)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/25/2005 10:24:08 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Attention K-Mart shoppers! Tonights Blue Light Special is LRODAND MASTER, he has not actually signed any conracts with me.......but I think we can marry for money and work out the lovin later........Peach may take umbrage but you gotta spill a little milk here.......

Simply, Be Happy. Be fulfilled. Nothing is perfect. Reason is reasonable. I could cliche you to death but I think you get the gimmick. Regardless of what you are led to believe, BDSM is no different than real life. That does not imply that collarme is real life; however.

Puffery is common, but you also have to deal with cookie-getter-offers and sickasses and people who, given the fullness of time, sing to your soul somehow. On the other hand, to quote a song (that really I made the statement first, but got screwed on) 'did you miss me while you were lookin' for yourself out there..............'

It's ALL good.


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/25/2005 11:47:47 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		It's a brand of spaghetti.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

BTW, what is Ronzoni?


(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/27/2005 6:16:00 AM   
RaeRae39


Posts: 35
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: RaeRae39
What does it mean, on a second date, the Dom says he is cheap>? What is the purpose in that statement?


It means "don't expect me to spend any of my money on you." Or it could mean "I can't spend any money because my wife will find out." Or it could mean, "I lied to you about what I do. I told you I'm a vice president and own a BMW, but what I really do is work at McDonalds and drive an 82 VW Rabbit".

In any scenario be prepared that money will always be a battle between you.


quote:

It means "don't expect me to spend any of my money on you." Or it could mean "I can't spend any money because my wife will find out." Or it could mean, "I lied to you about what I do. I told you I'm a vice president and own a BMW, but what I really do is work at McDonalds and drive an 82 VW Rabbit".

In any scenario be prepared that money will always be a battle between you.

oh girl do I hear that~!!! I lied to you about what I do is so common~! I don't know why they bother with false presentation when we only end up finding out about the lie. Some are even blatant liars, making up some real bullshit, like we are subs, but indeed haven't any brains~!
As for single parenting, it is difficult, but if a Dom where interested in me that had kids, I have no problems with that, not just because I am a parent, but because I love children. I am naturally maternal so,.......plus I love animals, so I guess that makes me a big mush pot huh?
I am still having a hard time communicating to potential Doms that I need to take my time and be selective. They are so fuck'in pushy, they run with how they feel at the time. I don't want to be bitchy, but wow, some just want instant ownership, ...This time around I want to make sure the Dom/Master knows I am indeed special, like a precious commodity , not to be taken for granted, but embraced. I have too much to offer the right "one" and will not put up with the constant games.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/27/2005 6:25:11 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

They are so fuck'in pushy, they run with how they feel at the time. I don't want to be bitchy, but wow, some just want instant ownership, ...This time around I want to make sure the Dom/Master knows I am indeed special, like a precious commodity , not to be taken for granted, but embraced. I have too much to offer the right "one" and will not put up with the constant games.


pushy = desperate
Take your time, you will find a good one and it will happen when you least expect it (yep, it's true)
Good luck with your search.

(in reply to RaeRae39)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/27/2005 10:51:13 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I don't shop for subs


I do but usually the quandry isn't sub or slave it's turkey or roast beef.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/27/2005 12:12:05 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I can see this Mastercard commercial now

Dom Toys....................................... $245.55
Dom clothes......................................$312.25
Dom Member dues.............................$50.00
Dom Dungeon Fee..............................$20.00
Bad Doms..........................................a dime a dozen

One good man................................Priceless


_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/27/2005 12:30:24 PM   
subkitten32


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/19/2005
Status: offline 		I can see this Mastercard commercial now

Dom Toys....................................... $245.55
Dom clothes......................................$312.25
Dom Member dues.............................$50.00
Dom Dungeon Fee..............................$20.00
Bad Doms..........................................a dime a dozen

One good man................................Priceless


OMG Fastlane, too funny and oh so true!

kitten

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/27/2005 12:47:02 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

One good man................................Priceless


True dat!


(in reply to subkitten32)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/27/2005 2:15:53 PM   
RainGod


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline 		girl4you2 replied to My post with:

quote:

being a single parent is one of the most important and difficult jobs there can be.


you can say that again, lol!

quote:

i fully respect anyone who is undertaking that job. i find it not only appealing, but it shows me that the person has their priorities well set.


Thank you, girl... you are so flattering! I don;t do it for praise though. I do it because My dad ran from hos job, and that isn't gonna be the case here with Me. I cannot imagine turning My back on the biggest job I will evere face and slinking away. Bith I do thank you, you're sweet.

quote:

while it doesn't make for 24/7 life, a life can nonetheless be worked around the children. in time, once a strong relationship is in place, it can then involve the children in a healthy, not inappropriate way. kudos for all single parents.


One might be surprised how easily 24/7 can be even with children. I know you all of course realize 24/7 naked and in cuffs is a total impossibility with kids around, but there are times when the kids go to school... and on sleepovers... and other things.

Some things, some very important things can continue in front of the kids... like the showing of respect, and the adoration and love between Master and slave. Nothing sexual... but old fashioned...in a way.

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/27/2005 6:42:43 PM   
CanYouMakeMeFly


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline 		As a newcomer to CM and one still uncovering my submissive desires I find this post and the suggestions, opinions, and advice very helpful. In many ways I find myself in a very similar situation.

I've been 'shopping' for some time and often find myself questioning if I will ever find the One for me.., and after reading several replies about making a list of what I desire and identifying those top core values - I realize that is something I need to do as well.

Thanks RaeRae and those who have shared.., it is true - never settle.

(in reply to RaeRae39)
Profile   Post #: 40
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