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RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/28/2005 2:43:21 AM

Masterquill

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline

Honesty is always the best policy. Being true to yourself, true to Him. The heart does not shop, the heart knows when One is real, and He presents His desires and intent in a manner that shows you, that He will not 'play' you. He will with tenacity, involve Himself in your life, in all you do. He will keep His word, and not fail on His actions. When you meet the Dom, you will 'feel' comfortable with Him. Why 'test' something that needs not testing? Why not just enjoy the realism of the chemisty and connection you two have? Too many here, play the mind games, and if they play you once, they will play you again. Screwing yourself will come from not capitilizing on One that comes into your life, that is real.

(in reply to RaeRae39)

Post #: 41

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/28/2005 3:22:41 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

Great reply and so true

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterquill

Honesty is always the best policy. Being true to yourself, true to Him. The heart does not shop, the heart knows when One is real, and He presents His desires and intent in a manner that shows you, that He will not 'play' you. He will with tenacity, involve Himself in your life, in all you do. He will keep His word, and not fail on His actions. When you meet the Dom, you will 'feel' comfortable with Him. Why 'test' something that needs not testing? Why not just enjoy the realism of the chemisty and connection you two have? Too many here, play the mind games, and if they play you once, they will play you again. Screwing yourself will come from not capitilizing on One that comes into your life, that is real.

(in reply to Masterquill)

Post #: 42

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/28/2005 6:15:05 AM

RaeRae39

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline

It should be in a subs own mind that she comes to her own "truth" regarding the Dom she is considering, not to have to be convinced by him, but to feel it within herself.
Listening to just my heart is what got me into these mess's in the past....there were red flags flying everywhere, which I choose to override , because of my "feelings". This time I will not be stupid, but will try to make sure the heart and head are in sync.
Remember, there is always a pink cloud in the beginning, it's the real time life together to share that is the goal.

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)

Post #: 43

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/28/2005 7:04:00 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Rae...listen to your own advice as it sounds very solid and sane. Actually even rational from one who is shopping........For a Dom...LOL

Remember your in the marathon, not the sprint....so take your time and pace yourself if you plan on winning in the end!

Good luck, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to RaeRae39)

Post #: 44

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/29/2005 7:17:54 PM

RaeRae39

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Rae...listen to your own advice as it sounds very solid and sane. Actually even rational from one who is shopping........For a Dom...LOL

Remember your in the marathon, not the sprint....so take your time and pace yourself if you plan on winning in the end!

Good luck, Kevin

quote:

Remember your in the marathon, not the sprint....so take your time and pace yourself if you plan on winning in the end!

Good luck, Kevin

Thank you Kevin~~! I know not to be pushed or almost bullied into being someones sub when I haven't even come to my own conclusion. It's no good being smothered. Telling someone, a Dom, that you are not sure, and are indeed considering others is always hard for me because I hate hurting feelings.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 45

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/30/2005 6:40:14 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Telling someone, a Dom, that you are not sure, and are indeed considering others is always hard for me because I hate hurting feelings.

Hello RaeRae,
My advice is it's better to be a little uncomfortable in the beginning than feeling trapped, mis treated, rushed, or manipulated into a life you don't want to partake in later. I still say even though it's not always the comfortable choice following your own feelings is the right answer. People will respect you more if you have integrity and self-value. Speak the truth and you'll be happier in the end. Disappointing someone new to you versus screwing yourself up to me seems to be the sane option comfortable or not.
Good Luck Hon,
sub suzanne

(in reply to RaeRae39)

Post #: 46

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/30/2005 7:40:27 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

considering others is always hard for me because I hate hurting feelings.

It is good to tell then upfront that you are condisering others, Better to tell them at first then later, when they thought they were the only one they you say sorry i found someone more sutied to me. My late master was happy i told him i was condisering othrs at the same time when we first met.

Good luck in you search.

littleone

(in reply to RaeRae39)

Post #: 47

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/30/2005 10:30:25 AM

harmony3709

Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RaeRae39
I know not to be pushed or almost bullied into being someones sub when I haven't even come to my own conclusion. It's no good being smothered.

This is a comment that I see and hear far too often from submissives and know that in the past, I felt that way myself.

If you have to be pushed, cajoled, encouraged, talked into, or especially bullied or threatened into being someone's submissive........RUN, don't walk, but RUN the other direction. When it is right, and YOU know it is right, he or she should have to beat YOU off with a stick (figurtively speaking of course, lol) for wanting to belong to him/her, not the other way around. Hopefully not like stalking of course........but just that you will know, not have to be told.

Blessed be,
harmony

(in reply to RaeRae39)

Post #: 48

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/30/2005 5:52:09 PM

tarnishedhalo777

Posts: 119
Status: offline

some things,lol....I'ld be worried he wanted me to spend money on him,lol. I pay my bills and I will not have $$ have anything to do w/ a r/l relationship unless I;'m married and then there will be a pre-nup. Sub does not = stupid!

_____________________________

I will not die the death of loneliness by being afraid to love and afraid to get hurt. I will not commit figurative suicide by leaving my potential underdeveloped because I am afraid to take risks.

(in reply to RaeRae39)

Post #: 49

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 9/30/2005 5:58:54 PM

tarnishedhalo777

Posts: 119
Status: offline

Does this mean Santa isn't going to bring me one for xmas,lol?
Sorry i couldn't resist....but that was my first thought when I read the heading.

Ya know, i empathize bigtime...sort of in the same dilemma only I'm not really looking,granted, i turned my profile back on today but i was doing some reading on some of the Doms profiles in my area,lol, and I wasn't impressed.So I shut it back down.

< Message edited by tarnishedhalo777 -- 10/2/2005 10:16:58 AM >

_____________________________

I will not die the death of loneliness by being afraid to love and afraid to get hurt. I will not commit figurative suicide by leaving my potential underdeveloped because I am afraid to take risks.

(in reply to RaeRae39)

Post #: 50

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 10/3/2005 7:06:53 AM

wetrope

Posts: 117
Joined: 8/9/2004
From: GATINEAU, PQ
Status: offline

Believe it or not its quite similar for a dom searching for a sub. We hear some good words, but always wonder whether there is another hearing the same words, or someone else hearing better words. It is always best to talk a lot at first, share stories, and listen listen listen. One pretty good idea is to filter through the posts on here, or other sites.

_____________________________

Wetrope

(in reply to CanYouMakeMeFly)

Post #: 51

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 10/3/2005 1:57:25 PM

subgirl98

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

I waited til my children were grown to decide to act on my fantasies and I am still shopping.

(in reply to RaeRae39)

Post #: 52

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 10/3/2005 4:37:03 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Better late then never.......and fantasy's become better as you get older.....so, join Rae...head to DomsRus....and have fun!

(in reply to subgirl98)

Post #: 53

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 10/3/2005 4:39:17 PM

tarnishedhalo777

Posts: 119
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Better late then never.......and fantasy's become better as you get older.....so, join Rae...head to DomsRus....and have fun!

Love it!!

_____________________________

I will not die the death of loneliness by being afraid to love and afraid to get hurt. I will not commit figurative suicide by leaving my potential underdeveloped because I am afraid to take risks.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 54

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 10/3/2005 4:52:23 PM

subspaceinMD

Posts: 42
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

Can i come with you both? i need one too!

(in reply to tarnishedhalo777)

Post #: 55

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 10/3/2005 5:11:44 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Wow, two things that wise people have taught me appear in this one thread....

One, if a man tells you he's cheap/selfish/sloppy/irresponsible/<insert negative quality here>.....
BELIEVE HIM!

Two, if your red flags are flying....BELIEVE THEM!

RaeRae, Oside, Plantlady....good advice! You are proof that being "submissive" doesn't mean you have to be "brainless"!

(in reply to subspaceinMD)

Post #: 56

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 10/3/2005 7:11:57 PM

RaeRae39

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

quote:

Telling someone, a Dom, that you are not sure, and are indeed considering others is always hard for me because I hate hurting feelings.

Hello RaeRae,
My advice is it's better to be a little uncomfortable in the beginning than feeling trapped, mis treated, rushed, or manipulated into a life you don't want to partake in later. I still say even though it's not always the comfortable choice following your own feelings is the right answer. People will respect you more if you have integrity and self-value. Speak the truth and you'll be happier in the end. Disappointing someone new to you versus screwing yourself up to me seems to be the sane option comfortable or not.
Good Luck Hon,
sub suzanne

Sue, I really respect your input, I have read other posts you have on here, and you seem like a person with a true, open, loving heart.....just wanted to tell you that, and thanx again~!

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 57

RE: Shopping for a new Dom,... - 10/3/2005 7:15:16 PM

RaeRae39

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Wow, two things that wise people have taught me appear in this one thread....

One, if a man tells you he's cheap/selfish/sloppy/irresponsible/<insert negative quality here>.....
BELIEVE HIM!

Two, if your red flags are flying....BELIEVE THEM!

RaeRae, Oside, Plantlady....good advice! You are proof that being "submissive" doesn't mean you have to be "brainless"!

Windchymes,........I'm glad your one of us

hey, lets start a secret club~!

seriously, it's good to see you guys{other subs} that aren't settling either....this is a big time desicion, not to be taken lightly.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 58

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