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RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 7:04:47 PM

domguy54

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/15/2004
Status: offline

The photo in question was taken at my ex-in laws. She is the Santa collector. If it is stiring up such an uproar, I'll remove it. Thanks to all who replied. And thank you to all with constructive replies.

W

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Post #: 21

RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 7:47:48 PM

katie978

Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline

When I first signed up for this site, I attempted to be very diligent and answer every e-mail with a personalized response.

I stopped when I realized that men just used whatever polite excuse I gave them as a in, either to try and convince me they were worthwhile, or to convince me I sucked because I didn't want them.

For example, my age range when looking for a partner was extremely limited. I wanted a relationship, not someone to play with, and I can't see myself starting a relationship with someone more than a few years older than me. After politely explaining this to the myriads of older men who apparantly couldn't read my profile, I would get e-mails back that age brings wisdom, experience, etc. They assured me I could only be happy with an older man and was stupid to be looking for a younger one. They assured me that although they were 50, they behaved like 20-year-olds (is that supposed to be a turn-on?). They'd call me stupid, a faker, and not a submissive.

These sort of responses seemed to come back with about 80% of the polite rejections I'd send out. That's why I stopped responding to e-mails from people I wasn't interested in.

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Post #: 22

RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 7:57:04 PM

domguy54

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katie978..I am sorry to hear of all your bad luck. I thought this would be a good way to answer a questuion I had. I was wrong. Again thanks to all who took the time to respond.

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Post #: 23

RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 8:04:27 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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Ok, perhaps (ok, it isn't) my business, but HP, what is your problem with Aileen?...
I would think that if you thought such rude things about her you would take it ELSEWHERE...
Well...actually, Aileen is welcome ELSEWHERE...but meanness, (unless it's done in a fun domly type way) isn't.
(for anyone who doesn't know where ELSEWHERE is, go to 'all forums' 'polls and random stupidity' and click on the link that says 'this is ELSEWHERE'.)
I'm just sayin'...

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RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 8:07:23 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domguy54
Isn't it just being polite to answer no matter what the answer?

I would have thought so, but for some reason, “Hello, Wall”, didn't quite get the reception I was hoping for.

*shrugs*

k

< Message edited by charmdpetKeira -- 3/2/2008 8:20:20 PM >

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RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 8:17:30 PM

bleusparkles

Posts: 168
Joined: 2/11/2008
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We often don't answer because it seldom ends there. Most of the men I've said "no thank you" to become downright abusive and the few women who've approached me seemed to completely disregard my "no thank you" and assume that they were so fabulous I couldn't help but be interested.

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Post #: 26

RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 8:48:19 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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I don't understand why the op with alllll of the good advice he was given, has chosen to say that this was not a good place to ask this.
Yeah...ok...

I might have talked about things that were a bit ot, but, still, he was given a lot of good advice.
(I guess not as good as "I've been waiting forever for a dom like you" but still.)

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RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 8:52:30 PM

mcduck

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/25/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domguy54

I am a Dominant. I am really looking for some input from submissives to this question. Why don't submissives answer emails? They seem to answer if they are interested, but they feel it is ok to ignore it when they are not? Isn't it just being polite to answer no matter what the answer?

quote:

r emails? They seem to answer if they are interested, but they feel it is ok to ignore it when they are not? Isn't it just being polite to answer no matter what the answer

I am not a sub but from talking to some of the subs on this site and others it seems that most female subs get tons of emails daily. From what I hear it is like the worst possible spam avalanche possible, made all the worse for the fact that there are some genuine people who get overlooked.

< Message edited by mcduck -- 3/2/2008 8:53:07 PM >

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Post #: 28

RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 9:00:29 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domguy54

katie978..I am sorry to hear of all your bad luck. I thought this would be a good way to answer a questuion I had. I was wrong. Again thanks to all who took the time to respond.

Sighs.....I thought you got some very truthful answers, but you decided that what you heard was undesireable??..OK!...Tell us what you wish to hear?..Obviously you had formulated an opinion on the question you posted, but no one stated your specific thought upon it?..If you seek validation for a thought process, then ask that! question..do not circle the block when you wish to simply park...Tempting

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Post #: 29

RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 10:02:37 PM

flyingwind66

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

lol...

You'll have to forgive the responses that you get to this question... it gets asked at least once per week. However, for the sake of brevity, here is what you'll get in a nutshell...

No response is a response.

There is no obligation to respond to an unsolicited email... do you reply to the junk mail you get in your mailbox?

Subs are overwhelmed with messages and responding to each one is a full-time job.

Too many dominants take a response of any kind as an invitation to continue the conversation. They seem to think "no" really means "yes" and the sub just needs to be convinced.

Too many dominants cannot handle rejection even if given politely. A gentle "no thank you" can solicit very rude comments in return.

I'm sure I'm leaving out many other of the standard replies to this question, but I'm sure you get the idea.

Good luck, here.

I agree wholeheartedly! XD I've been called all manner of things and normally and answer = more messages...

for some reason the 50 year old men who send me messages get upset when I tell them that they are out of my age range they accuse me of 'ageism' and how 'it's stupid' and that I'm some kind of wannabe because I let age get in the way... I like to send one message back saying 'no, I'm 19, that's more twice my age plus another 10 years'

my profile seems to clearly state I'm looking for a relationship... maybe it's just me but I'd like a lover who's closer to my age or at the very most in their early 30's

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Post #: 30

RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 10:06:05 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
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OP...i can't answer your question..i answer all my messages, even if to say no thanks.

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Post #: 31

RE: New Question - 3/3/2008 12:22:18 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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No response is a response.

the.dark.

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Post #: 32

RE: New Question - 3/3/2008 12:44:39 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Sheesh OP, you've been here since 2004. Has it taken you this long to just accept that the subs here (and the rest of us) often simply do not have the time to answer every one of the 4 billion emails received per month? We have lives and families and work, too.

Many of the subs I know, especially the ladies, are abused to a disgusting degree when they politely refuse a Dom who has emailed them. They realise after the first 2 or 3 vile responses from rejected doms that it's easier, and kinder on their self esteem, to just delete the emails. It isn't always bad manners, it's self preservation.

I am not saying that YOU are abusive or impolite, but many males are. I'm a domme and that includes so called sub males who have emailed me with a tirade of abuse when I have rejected them.

edited to add, I also delete emails with the fascinating, one line "Hi Ma'am/Miss". I've even spoken of it in my profile. I have to assume 40% of male subs on here either can't read a profile OR they think they are someone different and special and deserve a response.

< Message edited by MissMagnolia -- 3/3/2008 12:47:44 AM >

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Post #: 33

RE: New Question - 3/3/2008 1:03:30 AM

Chloelicious

Posts: 1078
Joined: 8/10/2006
From: belgium, Brussels, Forest
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I don't answer all mails For all the reasons the others people gave you and also why wouldI answer to someone who have not read my profile because they think they are the next best thing.
What do you want to answer to someone who mail you : Hello! ?without another word.I don't want to spend 5 month with one liners mails.
I got myself A question to you OP :
what is it that guys(not you included, cause i dont know you)dont understand in the word NO? The meaning or the whole concept?

chloé

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Post #: 34

RE: New Question - 3/3/2008 3:29:59 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Ok, perhaps (ok, it isn't) my business, but HP, what is your problem with Aileen?...
I would think that if you thought such rude things about her you would take it ELSEWHERE...
Well...actually, Aileen is welcome ELSEWHERE...but meanness, (unless it's done in a fun domly type way) isn't.
(for anyone who doesn't know where ELSEWHERE is, go to 'all forums' 'polls and random stupidity' and click on the link that says 'this is ELSEWHERE'.)
I'm just sayin'...

lol...he's just playing around. It's a long standing thing.
Plus he's a douchebag and mad because I never answer his begging emails.

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Post #: 35

RE: New Question - 3/3/2008 3:45:46 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
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This is a much better pic, remember submissives want to see someone they feel has the ability to manage their lives, the other pics were cute and did show your humanity, but may not have been the best for a profle pic--

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Post #: 36

RE: New Question - 3/3/2008 5:02:53 AM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
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I have only had the experience of a select few on here that have answered my e-mails and a vast majority of them are not even in the picture with me and that is cool.What i don't like is the response at all thing.Ok you my very well dislike or even hate my profile..but a no thanks would do wonders....it would make me believe that yes,there are actual human beings out there.At any rate i am grateful to all that did respond regardless of what they had to say.

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Post #: 37

RE: New Question - 3/3/2008 5:43:23 AM

mhawk

Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
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personally as a slave,for me,if i get emails i do try my best to respond to them.for the most part for me also it also depends on the nature of the email. if it's just wanting someone to talk with adn share knowledge or just casual banter i'm fine with it. if it's something regarding info on what things my Lord or Mistress does with me and how(meaning exact details) i am more cautious about it.

so all in all as long as it's friendly emails i'm okay with it.

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Post #: 38

RE: New Question - 3/3/2008 7:08:59 AM

jenf

Posts: 45
Joined: 12/26/2007
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Are you implying that younger people weren't taught good manners? How polite of you to just assume that...guess again. When a dom who lives three states away writes to me, i don't bother to reply, because thats a relationship thats not going anywhere...i have plenty of internet friends, and don't need more. Serious inquiries from people near me usually get a response, unless right in my profile it says "no married men" and a married man writes that he is interested in "discreet meetings..."

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Post #: 39

RE: New Question - 3/3/2008 7:27:42 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I've been called a pig, a slut, a wannabe, a fake, a cunt. It's just easier to not respond. If the female submissive is interested in you they will answer your email. Otherwise...no answer is an answer. Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda yadda.

Nothing a little mentoring can't fix

Jeff

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Post #: 40