RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (Full Version)

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Lumus -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 4:17:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

LOL.  I have zero affection for the other Jerry Springer, but I'm starting to like you a lot.

Do you ever wish there was a forum specifically dedicated to questions about what "other people" do?



Depends on the slant and intent.  If it was a sharing experience about how people enjoy themselves, that would be interesting [and I believe there's a few threads very much like that], if it was handled with a little decorum [cheap chuckles are great, slap-down comments made just to get someone's goat are never pretty].  If it was a thread that cast aspersions on others, it would be a nasty, surefire remedy for a flame war to make Mod 11 tapdance.

Ultimately, though...too many glass houses, too many stones...I'm not sure it would go over well.  I like the idea, just wonder about the dama that might ensue.




colouredin -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 4:19:39 PM)

Better than general insulting flowing from thread to thread for no reason other than a desire to cause a row, if we didnt want to see it we wouldnt have to go to it :D but then i guess it would be like a car wreck drawn into the drama despite our disgust



TracyTaken -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 4:38:55 PM)

I mean so people who are interested in what "other people" (not you and not me) do can gossip amongst themselves.  [:)]

At that point, it's only gossip, eh?  Of course, I am currently posting about what "other people" (not you and not me) do, so I guess I am one of them.  I have been assimilated!  [:o]



RedMagic1 -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 5:07:13 PM)

Pointing out the failings of others is the best method to feel like a better person.  It is much more energy-efficient -- and safer -- than trying to achieve important things.  That takes a lot of effort, and can be heartbreaking if you fail in the attempt.  Talk all you want, but -- whatever you do -- don't try.



Lumus -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 5:07:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

I mean so people who are interested in what "other people" (not you and not me) do can gossip amongst themselves.  [:)]

At that point, it's only gossip, eh?  Of course, I am currently posting about what "other people" (not you and not me) do, so I guess I am one of them.  I have been assimilated!  [:o]



Resistance....is futile.

~ Locutus




xxblushesxx -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 5:42:16 PM)

I'm ending this now. Putting this person's posts on block, and blocking her from contacting either one of us.
If you really believe 'I'm so vain' that I 'wanted' this to be about me, you will.
If you knew the crap I've gone through since we've dealt with the OP, you'd probably know that I neither started it, nor wanted such.
I wouldn't have brought this here...well...actually, that's not true.
I WOULD have brought it here without the details, and I would have put everything into perspective.
Those who want to think badly about all of us will, and, frankly, I don't really blame you.
But, OP...
You lied.
You lied to me, to my Master, and to everyone here about your motivations, and what happened.
We are done with you.
As we were when you began this between us...
You are now completely blocked from our lives, and can only hurt us through rumour and innuendo.
Have fun with that.

~Christina



ModeratorEleven -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 6:35:36 PM)

Ok kids, enough.

XI



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 8:45:53 PM)

I have to agree with Dark that no one would have thought anyone was the person in question if they had not outed themselves and MADE it into an issue.  There was no drama until they created drama.  I felt the OP was a legitimate question of "What do you do at a munch where every way they act seems to contradict everything they say or that you believe, and they act fairly rude in a number of ways?"

The question might have been asked clumsily and with a few biases herself, but it's a good question nonetheless.



Emperor1956 -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 8:57:46 PM)

FR:  Boy...more drama than the 6th grade girl's room an hour after prom starts.  The weird thing is I think there is a really sophisticated Buffy-lesbian-geek thread somewhere in there trying to break out.

E.



laurell3 -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 9:01:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAidan



What I want to know is, what do you think of a person who goes around claiming to be this devoted, 24/7 live-in collard slave with behaviour such as this?  Personally, it was all I could do to bite my tongue and hold in my Irish temper.  If it wasn't for my respect for those who run the group, I would have told her how abusred she seemed to me and how what she claimed and what she did didn't quite mix.


I absolutely believe you can have a personal, intimate M/s relationship based on whatever factors you and your partner/s agree with and still be completely and social inept.

Celeste


Exactly, it seems he is accepting of it.  Attempting to say their dynamic or her behavior doesn't meet some type of stereotype is doing the same thing she is with switches.  If she's rude, that's a personality/psychological thing, not a role one.

A wise man once told me there are two types of people in life, those with problems that deal with them honestly and the best they can without spreading it and those that don't deal with problems and point fingers and spread their misery.  Embrace and support the first, run away from the second.  OP I would suggest that you both take heed of and follow this advice.

edited to add: I have now read the drama after the OP and my answers are still only in response to that general question in the OP and I have zero desire to get involved in or state an opinion about the public drama display going on here.



DominaSmartass -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 9:08:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

No colouredin one - wes was the english buffoon who just happened to be a watcher, but got strangely sexy after he had his throat slit...
 
Damn - .myinnergeekishowing.
 
the.dark.
(.editbecauseicantspellbuffoon.)


I've read the entire thread up till now and somehow missed the BtVS reference? And yeah, what was with Wes's sudden change from geek to chic? ;)



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 9:13:51 PM)

I don't think it was sudden, I think it took a good full three seasons to make the total transition.



DominaSmartass -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 9:19:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I don't think it was sudden, I think it took a good full three seasons to make the total transition.


Ok, ok, you're right. He certainly evolved over a period of time. And maybe it's just a sign that I need to watch the entire series again (oh darn)...but didn't it seam like there was some point (when he stopped shaving?) where he really changed over? Ok, definitely time to watch it again from the beginning.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/4/2008 8:37:06 AM)

I think his hooking up with Alyson in RT had something to do with it.  Plus, on Angel, style was essential.



Emperor1956 -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/4/2008 1:26:40 PM)

FR:   I am irrevocably a Giles geek.  Wes was too pretty, too contrived, too scruffy (after he stopped shaving).   Ah, but Giles...Giles.   The height of Brit Priss pretty boy for us Americans.

And in all fairness, I'm also a huge Willow geek.  This comes from having a "willow-ish" daughter introduce me to BVS.

E



Paulsgirl -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/4/2008 1:33:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

People rarely fit the definitions and ideals of others.

That being said-I would have just ignored this woman as a waste of time.

[sm=applause.gif]



Paulsgirl -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/4/2008 1:40:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Did you READ the WHOLE thread?

Jeff


Jeffweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, my love, my light and gigglemaker.
 
My answer would be the same regardless.  But honestly - does it matter who the people are that are involved?
Both parties are as bad as each other.
If I wanted drama,I tune into FOX.
 
the.dark.

 
And I would think, Dark, that if you had spent an evening with someone, and invited them to your home, and offered friendship and hospitality, that you would not expect that person to write a diatribe about why you are not who you claim to be.
This person twisted my words and my intentions, and I am, rightfully, pissed.
Whether you and I have disagreed in the past, I would hope you could understand my anger.

With respect at having just arrived in the bdsm playround, when i invite someone and offer hospitality, and service, i expect a diatribe.......being an emotional masochist if it they all just go away quietly without an ensuing riot i usually feel cheated and a drop....nice to prolong a scene with back biting, cat fights and retribution don't you think?



batshalom -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/4/2008 3:23:52 PM)

~fast reply w/o reading any other reponses~


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAidan

and 4 (the best by far) she is his slave because she says she is and we should all just leave it at that.


As long as He agrees, that's really all anyone needs to know.



DesFIP -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/4/2008 4:50:22 PM)

Am I the only person here who took two pages to get a BVS reference?

Besides, deliberately misquoting in order to get back at someone who turned down an offer to snack on your pussy is very rude.



ottRopesandKnots -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/4/2008 6:01:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I have to agree with Dark that no one would have thought anyone was the person in question if they had not outed themselves and MADE it into an issue.  There was no drama until they created drama.  I felt the OP was a legitimate question of "What do you do at a munch where every way they act seems to contradict everything they say or that you believe, and they act fairly rude in a number of ways?"

The question might have been asked clumsily and with a few biases herself, but it's a good question nonetheless.



I agree.  With the frequency of negative comments about munches in general I think it is actually good to have discussion about these things.  I don't much care for the undercurrent of finger pointing at actual people in this thread, I'll take the OP at face value.

We can't really control who shows up and wants to participate in the munches.  The best we can do (in my humble opinion) is find ways to encourage those we wish to return to do so and leave those we don't wish to see again to their own devices.  I don't like being an active fascist or dictator, but I'll quite happily behave that way in a more passive manner.  I'll build what I want, not bother to tear down what others are doing.  I find that more productive in the long run.

Gather the circle of switches, and those friendly to switches, and enjoy yourselves.  If you notice someone else particularly put off by the behavior of an 'unruly' member, then support them afterwards and welcome them into your fold and away from the rude chick.  As for her relationship and dynamic with her master, well that's his problem to deal with.

Ultimately, don't let someone else's bad behavior get to you.  Be better than that.



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