RE: Shouldn't it go both ways?

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RE: Shouldn't it go both ways? - 3/6/2008 5:59:28 AM

ladytosirdragon

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Sapphire: My husband is a Master of 25+ years,I am a Mistress of 23+ years,take my advice,theyre trying to move too fast,be very careful how you proceed,if theyre a true Dom,then they will be patient and undertsand your hesitation in initiating contact that way.Remember,your submission to anyone is a gift them,wether man woman or both.He should be showing you that he CAN be trusted,ok here is my number,give you a few weeks,then ask for yours,as for the chat that is agood way to get to know someone,provided theyre being honest with you,ask questions,any good Sir or Ma'am should be more than willing to answer them,if not then something isnt right. The right questions need to be asked,how much experience do you have?Are you looking for 24/7r/t,How do you train?What methods do you use?If theyre not answering you,or hesitate to answer,then perhaps its not the real thing.It is sad to see that the old ways of treasuring your sub and keeping her happy and satisfied have gone out the window,valuing who she is and what she does to please you,seems to be a thing of the past,its tragic really.I wish you much luck in your ventures here Sapphire,Be safe...Use the bdsm motto Always safe.Always Sane,Always concensual.:)

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RE: Shouldn't it go both ways? - 3/6/2008 11:49:18 AM

bliss1

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Before I found my Sir - it was you give me a piece of information, THEN I will give you one.

If they are not willing to met me half way.

Good-bye

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RE: Shouldn't it go both ways? - 3/6/2008 9:22:08 PM

Real_Trouble

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My general inclination is that patience is a virtue, and to paraphrase The Office, it's tit for tit with regard to information.

A general read from me is that I concur with most of the other posters in this thread; all one-sided interaction and trust is generally all bad. If he is unwilling to give at least some, while I'm not about to make any particular prediction with regard to what is going on, I would suspect there is reason to believe something is going on. Where there is smoke, there is often fire.

Just be patient, be firm, and only go so far as you are comfortable. There are times to take intelligent risks, of course, but be judicious about when those times are.

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RE: Shouldn't it go both ways? - 3/7/2008 2:04:32 AM

LadyPact

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My feeling on this is that it should be in the realm of quid pro quo. Why would anyone ask a female, from either side of the kneel, to be the one taking all of the risk? Sorry, but it doesn't work that way in My world.

I see it like this. I keep current photos up. There are plenty of people who have met Me from the forums. I'm happy to give references. If anybody needs more than that to figure out whether I'm *real* or not, they are going to have to step up to the plate and provide something. I admit to being the cam type, more than the phone type, but guess who's turning it on first, and you can bet it's not going to be anything other than a face shot. Person on the other end had better have clothes on, and yes, I ask before opening.

As to the yahoo ID thing, I even have that as part of My profile. Don't ask for it if you haven't gotten to know Me. There are great people from this site who have My *other* name, but it's because they have stood the test of time as a person that I enjoy talking with, not some immediate request.

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RE: Shouldn't it go both ways? - 3/7/2008 6:08:48 AM

atursvcMaam

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At the early stages which you describe the best safeword is "NO" all the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and said "This guy is most likely married and testing the waters." Just a humble thought and opinion. my answer to your title is yes, it should go both ways.

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RE: Shouldn't it go both ways? - 3/8/2008 2:41:56 AM

edgepassion

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defiantbadgirl :

"Before I had a cell phone, I had lots of guys want to talk on the phone. I would get their cell phone #'s and block my home number when I called (*67). If they insisted on having my number, I would tell them no because I'm a woman and my safety is important to me."

This is great advice for all Women…. Way too many of crazies out there

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RE: Shouldn't it go both ways? - 3/18/2008 10:43:04 PM

UncleNasty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bliss1

Before I found my Sir - it was you give me a piece of information, THEN I will give you one.

If they are not willing to met me half way.

Good-bye

This isn't meeting someone half way. This is someone else taking the risks first and THEN you catching up with them at your discretion.

You're entitled to handle it any way you like but please do call it what it really is.

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RE: Shouldn't it go both ways? - 3/19/2008 12:10:13 AM

UncleNasty

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Yep, two posts back to back.

If you have any issues in trusting someone else you should investigate them immediately. We're all entitled to move at the pace we're comfortable with.

That being said I have some rather unconventioal views on trust, fear and risk, and perspectives not shared by many here I expect.

Operating a 2 ton motor vehicle at death defying speeds on the public highways is the most dangerous any of us do on a regular basis. When was the last time you stopped to consider how much blind trust in tens of thousands of total strangers is required in order to do that?

Worried about giving out your home number? Doesn't that seem rather silly in light of the fact that millions, heck even billions, already have access to that information? Its called a phone book and is readily available to anyone that can read. Your address is commonly listed right along with your name and number. The heck with reverse directories. The real paranoia should be the directory!!!

Maybe my safest course of action would just be to move out of my house. Since anyone can find me here through the phone directory it isn't safe for me here anymore. But wait. No matter where I go I'll always be there, and by virture of being a flesh and blood man someone could always find me and.... I guess nowhere is safe.

There is alot of fear about "nuts on the internet." Some of the same people that live in terror of this will engage in casual conversation with the person behind them in the checkout lane at the local supermarket. Guess what. They probably have a profile somehwere on the internet. Oh my God!!! They could be an internet nut too!!!

Does anyone really believe it is more dangerous to chat with someone than it is to email with them? Same keyboard, same anonymous screen, same transmission lines. So where is the increased risk and danger?

Trust most certainly is a two way thing. One indicator to me of whether someone is worthy of trust is the degree to which they are willing and able to trust me. Haven't we all heard "If they didn't trust you then it probably means they aren't trustworthy," or some variation on that? Hearing some of the hoops some of you make others jump through before you trust them takes on a different meaing in light of that. It seems like more of a competition - kind of like boxers and the whole who steps into the ring first thing. First one to extend trust looses.

Security is an illusion. We aren't really able to protect ourselves or our loved ones. Storms, sickness, disease, accidents, loss of job and financial hardship, economic collapse.... The list of things we have no control over is staggering. It is a feeling much more than it is a reality. In that way it is very much like fear. It is a feeling. Feelings aren't rational or reasonable. Thats why we have different words to describe and define them. We don't really get to choose our feelings - only our response to them. We can let our feelings control us and the things we do, or not.

This isn't just an internet thing. People everywhere seem to be living in more fear than I ever recall. I haven't seen any evidence that we have more reasons to be fearful. Not real evidence anyway. The media does a great job of making us afraid of things we have no reason to be afraid of. But media hype and sensationalism aren't evidence. The media also downplays and ignores many of our greatest threats. I'll not go into a list of what I believe those to be.

***********************************************************************************************

There was a snow and ice storm here a couple of weeks ago. I watched a car spin out of control and careen off the interstate 1/4 mile in front of me. Being an EMT I pulled over to see if they were alright. Turned out to be a woman about 35 years old. She was fine, but her car was completely stuck. Only way to get it out was with a wrecker. Conditions and visibility were bad enough it would have been hazardous to pull her out with anything that didn't have "lights."

We talked for several mintues. She had no cell phone. She had no money. She was from out of state passing through to another state to visit with her fiance. I offered to help her in anyway I could. Maybe the mechanic I knew at the previous exit had a wrecker? Maybe she could call her fiance, get his card number and call a wrecker?

She was so hesitant to let me help her. I almost had to leave her there. What else could I do? You can't make someone let you help them.

An ambulance stopped. We talked to them. All they wanted to know was if everyone was OK. We said yes and they turned to leave. I asked them to wait. I pulled out my drivers license and showed it to them saying "Here, look at this. This woman needs help and I'm truing to help her. If anything happens to her you know who I am now." THEN she got into my truck and let me help her.

Kinda ridiculous. Nobody wrote down my name. They probably wouldn't have remembered it later if they had to. She didn't even bother to look at it. Heck, it could of been a fake ID anyway. Funny thing about ID's is that them that want to will figure out how to forge them just about as quickly as they come out with new "super secure identity cards." They prove nothing. How many of you had fake IDs when you were underage.

I got her to Billys garage. He didn't have a wrecker. She called her beau and got a crdit card number. We found a wrecker. I bought her lunch and then waited with her for an hour on the side of the highway for the wrecker to show up. Then I saw her off safe and secure. Had she not allowed me to help her she could have died of exposure on the side of the road that night. It got down in the single digits. That was her biggest risk. And probably one she didn't even consider.

Seems to me all of this fear and all of these so called safe gaurds are doing a better job of keeping us insulated from the real human contact most of us are here looking for than anything else.

Live free,

Uncle Nasty

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RE: Shouldn't it go both ways? - 3/19/2008 12:13:23 AM

UncleNasty

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Actually 3 posts back to back, LOL.

Anyone wanting to metaphorically "rip me a new one" do feel free. You can post here, or if you prefer you may write, call or drop by the house. I'll make tea. I'll gladly give you my number or home address. After all, I'm already in the book.

Uncle Nasty

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