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WickedKev -> Dommes or Doms (9/22/2005 3:21:20 PM)

I have noteiced that when people use the term Domme, lots of them take exception to it, stating they are no differant except for gender. That in itself is true and Domme is just to distinguish between the two sexes. Though it is funny that we don't do somthing similar to do that with with subs, perhaps call the males, subes. Anyone have any other suggestions?

Anyway I personally like the useing the term Dommes and Doms to distinguish betwen the sexes. I do not feel useing the terms makes one inferior to the other and have always had the greatest respect for Dommes and in a lot cases more than Doms. I say keep useing them for as the french say Viva la differance......




NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/22/2005 3:28:05 PM)

Perhaps the difference is due in part to submissives giving up their right to individuality, becoming part of their servitude, and a possession of their chosen top. (No, I'm not saying subs aren't individuals). As for suggestions, maybe the males could be referred to as "subbies" and the females can stay "subs".




MissChicane -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/22/2005 3:29:13 PM)

sub and subbe ;) wait a sec that's just way too weird.




MsIncognito -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/22/2005 3:33:03 PM)

I don't have a problem with it used in writing to distinguish gender. What I do find annoying is when people pronounce Domme as "Dom-may." WTF is that about? It's pronounced exactly as the same as Dom, not Dom-may. It's like nails on a chalk board, I tell ya.




thetammyjo -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/22/2005 4:16:53 PM)

I just plain hate it.

When I started in the scene such a differentiation wasn't around, it seems to be necessary cause folks 'need to know' what your biological sex is.

Bah! Its not that important to me frankly.

Of course I also just perfer that folks call me TammyJo -- no titles, not assumptions of roles, nothing, just me!




MissChicane -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/22/2005 4:39:55 PM)

oh shoot.... I hate when they pronounce it Dom-may!!! UGH!! I had a sister sub who constantly said Dom-may and was convinced that it was the right way to say it - endless arguement. I'm going to start a destroy Dom-may fan site.




WickedKev -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/22/2005 4:53:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I just plain hate it.

When I started in the scene such a differentiation wasn't around, it seems to be necessary cause folks 'need to know' what your biological sex is.

Bah! Its not that important to me frankly.

Of course I also just perfer that folks call me TammyJo -- no titles, not assumptions of roles, nothing, just me!


I have heard a few pronounce it that way doesn't really bother me but the word 'buddy' has that effect on me but the worse and it really makes me want to kill the person useing this word (if you can call it that) was when I watched an american sports broadcast and they said 'the winningest team'...........Agghhhhhhhhh

Oh and as for titles only one person may call me Master that is my slave she has earned that right, a few subs that I top might call me sir but mostly I am plain old WK....




MissChicane -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/22/2005 7:16:04 PM)

i like when dom/mes have it so that the title needs to be earned. I wasn't allowed to call my dom anything respectful until I earned it... for the longest time i was calling him by his first name.




thetammyjo -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 6:44:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev

Oh and as for titles only one person may call me Master that is my slave she has earned that right, a few subs that I top might call me sir but mostly I am plain old WK....


*clapping*

I agree whole heartedly.

I happen to currently be a Mistress because one slave has earned the right (and I've earn the right as well) to use that title for me.

But that's another area of disagreement -- I've known many women who hate the word "mistress" because of the association of being a married man's second woman.

Generally I just call folks by their name unless they make another preference known.




kc692 -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 7:48:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

I don't have a problem with it used in writing to distinguish gender. What I do find annoying is when people pronounce Domme as "Dom-may." WTF is that about? It's pronounced exactly as the same as Dom, not Dom-may. It's like nails on a chalk board, I tell ya.



I agree...dom, domme, dom, domme, dom, domme if read aloud should sound like same word, sighs....Why is that so hard to comprehend for some? I personally like that term, as well as domina, and, after all, since I am a dominant, I choose what I like to be called, and MsIncognito, I agree with ya about the nails!! I think some do it on purpose for aggravation factor!!




imtempting -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 7:52:52 AM)

Interesting point your made out.

Ive always assumed if your male then you would want a female sub and if your female you would want a male sub. Sounds dumb but the way ive thought it....




ragdoll -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 8:15:35 AM)

i often wonder if people who say "dom-may" for domme also say "fem-may fatal-lay" for femme fatale...?

though i think thetammyjo is right when saying that it's pretty unnecessary (the different spelling) and a product of people "wanting to know" gender (online) more than anything else.




IronBear -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 9:11:24 AM)

If you want to diferentiate between sexes and use subbies and subs how do you differentiate between male and female slaves? For me its easy (Other than the usual physical differences which can be viewed at a glance mostly) slave girl = kajira, slave boy = kajirus.... So how do you want to distinguish between the slave sexes?




Jasmyn -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 9:49:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev

I have noteiced that when people use the term Domme, lots of them take exception to it, stating they are no differant except for gender. That in itself is true and Domme is just to distinguish between the two sexes. Though it is funny that we don't do somthing similar to do that with with subs, perhaps call the males, subes. Anyone have any other suggestions?

Anyway I personally like the useing the term Dommes and Doms to distinguish betwen the sexes. I do not feel useing the terms makes one inferior to the other and have always had the greatest respect for Dommes and in a lot cases more than Doms. I say keep useing them for as the french say Viva la differance......



Kev ;) time on here is short today, so I have cut and pasted below a post I made elsewhere on the www about this very topic a few weeks ago...it will convery my sentiments of the term 'Domme' quite clearly... I don't like it, have never professed to and am active in denouncing it's use. Call me pedantic, it's how I feel.

Questions are welcome and I'll do my best to answer when I have more time.

Jasmyn

quote:

bdsm.femdom
From: "Mistress Jasmyn" <[email protected]> - Find messages by this author
Date: 8 Sep 2005 09:50:08 -0700
Local: Fri, Sep 9 2005 4:50 am
Subject: Re: The "D" word
Reply | Reply to Author | Forward | Print | Individual Message | Show original | Remove | Report Abuse

Finally women who speak my language ;)


Raises hand...count me in...can't stand using the term either and sorry
for the mild rant but am going to explain why.


While I loathe it's use, I am not suprised that 'Domme' steadily gained
acceptance out there in the big bad world. Some may claim the use of
'Dom' & 'Domme' is proof equality does exist...recognising both camps
so to speak and giving each equal status. And 'Domme' would have, had
a masculine version of 'dominant/dom' been created along with it and
accepted into widespread use as 'Domme' was...eg Domin, Doma or
something; because implying there is an 'opposite' for what is in
effect gender neutral terminology is ludicrous.


At best all 'Domme' and 'Dom' can serve as now are self ascribed gender
titles and honourifics much like Master and Mistress.


Some reading this may wish to argue they are effective terms for conveying gender and given the widespread acceptance of 'Dom' to
describe that of the 'male' first and 'dominant' second or vice versa (depending on who is reading it) then I agree it is. However when this claiming of the terminology as being predominantly masculine means I have to argue the point each time a keen, green, wanna be spanked machine tells me I not a 'Dom' but a 'Domme' because I am a woman and insists I refer to some BDSM dictionary of dubious merit too get myself an education because I dared to refer to myself as a fem dom, makes my blood boil.


Hmm I feel a revolution coming on...



Jasmyn





Evanesce -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 11:18:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev

I have noteiced that when people use the term Domme, lots of them take exception to it, stating they are no differant except for gender. That in itself is true and Domme is just to distinguish between the two sexes. Though it is funny that we don't do somthing similar to do that with with subs, perhaps call the males, subes. Anyone have any other suggestions?

Anyway I personally like the useing the term Dommes and Doms to distinguish betwen the sexes. I do not feel useing the terms makes one inferior to the other and have always had the greatest respect for Dommes and in a lot cases more than Doms. I say keep useing them for as the french say Viva la differance......


Personally, if I MUST differentiate between male and female dominants, it's only in writing, at which point I choose to use MaleDom and FemDom. They're both dominants. Why use two different words to describe them verbally?

I know female dominants who go by Master or Sir. And I know male AND female dominants who don't want any of those terms used in reference to them. For myself, I don't want to ever be called "Mistress," and I'm not particularly fond of "Ma'am." So what does that leave? How about my NAME?




WickedKev -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 4:53:38 PM)

quote:

Kev ;) time on here is short today, so I have cut and pasted below a post I made elsewhere on the www about this very topic a few weeks ago...it will convery my sentiments of the term 'Domme' quite clearly... I don't like it, have never professed to and am active in denouncing it's use. Call me pedantic, it's how I feel.

Questions are welcome and I'll do my best to answer when I have more time.

Jasmyn


quote:

Personally, if I MUST differentiate between male and female dominants, it's only in writing, at which point I choose to use MaleDom and FemDom. They're both dominants. Why use two different words to describe them verbally?

I know female dominants who go by Master or Sir. And I know male AND female dominants who don't want any of those terms used in reference to them. For myself, I don't want to ever be called "Mistress," and I'm not particularly fond of "Ma'am." So what does that leave? How about my NAME?


Good points and I must admit when I originally started this thread I was thinking about online not real life. For what ever title people want to call themselves in real life is fine by me. But online nicks can be misleading gender mistakes can happen sometimes it is hillarious sometimes people get very upset. Just think it is good to have something that seperates the genders and MaleDom and FemDom work just as well as Domme/Dom




lonewolf05 -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 5:01:42 PM)

difference in subs' labels? thought we did already. one is called boys and one is girls.

did it change?


wolfie




OscarHargraves -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 9:45:33 PM)

So who cares? Dom and Domme should be pronounced the same. It's like the difference between Master and Mistress. There is no difference except the gender of the person being referred too. It sounds to me like some people have a real inferiority complex and are looking for persecutions that don't exist. Maybe the ACLU is infiltrating this web-site..........




thetammyjo -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 9:49:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

If you want to diferentiate between sexes and use subbies and subs how do you differentiate between male and female slaves? For me its easy (Other than the usual physical differences which can be viewed at a glance mostly) slave girl = kajira, slave boy = kajirus.... So how do you want to distinguish between the slave sexes?


Well, I for one don't honestly care (but I'm scene bisexual so it doesn't matter to me). If I really want to know and I've been talking to a person and can't figure it out, then either I'm clueless or I haven't been asking the right questions.

But then I'm more interested in gender than I am biological sex. I prefer androgynous partners -- both high masculine and feminine traits or not gender typed easily.




Jasmyn -> RE: Dommes or Doms (9/23/2005 11:00:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves
So who cares? Dom and Domme should be pronounced the same. It's like the difference between Master and Mistress. There is no difference except the gender of the person being referred too. It sounds to me like some people have a real inferiority complex and are looking for persecutions that don't exist. Maybe the ACLU is infiltrating this web-site........


I don't know if it is necessarily inferiority driving people's dislike of the term. I know for myself I simply do not like it..in print or spoken (especially as read (ie dom-me, etc)). Have always used fem dom or male dom if I needed to differeniate a gender, or male sub, fem sub, if talking submissives...




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