quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I love male subs let me say that firstly and this is in no way a slam at them. But over the years I have noticed a common thread, at least in the 4 that I have owned. They all seemed to have a talent for being dramatic. I will give you an example of what I mean.

This weekend my sub had a problem with getting an erection, well hell we'd been going at it for hours and at the age of 37 its not unexpected. We've had discussions about this subject before and he understands it happens but according to him it doesnt happen to HIM. I guess he thinks he is Mister supercock or something Well he went into total sulk mode and locked himself in the bathroom. I let him go without saying a word to him and then he came to lay in the bed next to me, again I said nothing to him as I can't stand sulking and it seems when he is in this mood you cannot say anything that helps him to feel better.

I have had other male subs do this same thing and under different circumstances. Now it could be the subs that I select, but I wondered if any other Mistresses had seen this in  their subs? He later said the reason it bothers him so much is because his job as a sub is to please and if he fails to get an erection he has failed in his duty. My view is as long as you try you are serving, you can't help that your body does otherwise.

~Lashra

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ORIGINAL: chezzy52
Now i know y'all are thinking the lil blue pill.

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ORIGINAL: laurell3
I think this type of drama that you used as an example is incredibly difficult for men to grow to accept.  It has nothing to do with role, I haven't met a man yet that didn't turn a performance issue into a huge deal because it is for them. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I didn't read the responses Lashra, but honestly I think this type of drama that you used as an example is incredibly difficult for men to grow to accept.  It has nothing to do with role, I haven't met a man yet that didn't turn a performance issue into a huge deal because it is for them.  I don't know if he has drama issues with other things, but this one I really think he probably needs understanding and time to accept that he is going to suffer decrease in sexual performance with age.

edited for spelling...ok yeah decease wasn't the word I was looking for thanks sea!

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Ok... being a male and submissive.  i'll admit it, we do have a tendency to be drama magnets, perhaps it's because we also are generally more in touch with our emotions than other men.  But it my experience, all submissive seem to be pretty dramatic.

But with your example, i believe this has little to do with being submissive.  The most obvious physical aspect of masculinity is the penis.  As such, when the penis doesn't work; it means that we are less than men.  To us, this isn't that different to the way many women emotionally react (please forgive the comparison) if they are forced to undergo a mastectomy.  This is why you can't watch an hour of television without seeing a commercial about the latest treatment for erectile dysfunction and also why fancy sports or muscle cars are so popular to men in their late 30s to 50s.

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ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

Hey! Leave my car out of this!

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ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I didn't read the responses Lashra, but honestly I think this type of drama that you used as an example is incredibly difficult for men to grow to accept.  It has nothing to do with role, I haven't met a man yet that didn't turn a performance issue into a huge deal because it is for them.  I don't know if he has drama issues with other things, but this one I really think he probably needs understanding and time to accept that he is going to suffer decrease in sexual performance with age.

edited for spelling...ok yeah decease wasn't the word I was looking for thanks sea!

Hi Laurell,

Yeah, it's true but there's a solid psychological reason behind it. Men are for want of a better word "pro-active" we are happiest when we are doing something, we are active in our approach to life. I want to see if I can word this in a way that is clear and in offensive.

What follows is gross generalisation but more or less accurate:

Female submissives more often desire to be found pleasing than to actively please.
Male submissive more often desire to actively please and be useful than to be found pleasing.

Or another way:

Female submissives want their owners to make use of them, and to be pleased with them in that usage.
Male submissives want to be of use to their owners, and for their owners to be pleased when they are.

The key I'm trying to underscore is that the male mind-set, submissive or dominant, is geared to being proactive. Doing something that is pleasing, as opposed to being pleasing by doing something. Is that clearer than mud?

When a man, dominant or otherwise, is unable to perform a task it becomes an issue of worth - many men, for example, have a minor insecurity if they aren't particularly good at handwork - building cupboards and spice racks, or dungeon furniture. Most men are creative and competitive together - and this finds expression in sportsmanship, the noble laborer myth, and so on. On a primal level it can become a feeling of inadequacy when we don't match up to these ideals and expectations we have for ourselves.

SixFoot Coleridge