Male subs sometimes dramatic?

Male subs sometimes dramatic? (Full Version)

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Lashra -> Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 8:00:12 PM)
I love male subs let me say that firstly and this is in no way a slam at them. But over the years I have noticed a common thread, at least in the 4 that I have owned. They all seemed to have a talent for being dramatic. I will give you an example of what I mean. This weekend my sub had a problem with getting an erection, well hell we'd been going at it for hours and at the age of 37 its not unexpected. We've had discussions about this subject before and he understands it happens but according to him it doesnt happen to HIM. I guess he thinks he is Mister supercock or something[;)] Well he went into total sulk mode and locked himself in the bathroom. I let him go without saying a word to him and then he came to lay in the bed next to me, again I said nothing to him as I can't stand sulking and it seems when he is in this mood you cannot say anything that helps him to feel better. I have had other male subs do this same thing and under different circumstances. Now it could be the subs that I select, but I wondered if any other Mistresses had seen this in their subs? He later said the reason it bothers him so much is because his job as a sub is to please and if he fails to get an erection he has failed in his duty. My view is as long as you try you are serving, you can't help that your body does otherwise. ~Lashra

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 8:43:03 PM)
Another reason to not have sex with subs? [&:] Men are under a lot of pressure to perform, I think. It must be even more difficult if the man is a sub trying to keep his dom happy. Though that bathroom sulking? TOTAL drama llama nonsense. I would have ignored it, too. And gotten out my vibrator.

MsIncontrol -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 8:46:32 PM)
My submissive is drama-less. Which is one of the things I love about him.

Leatherist -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 8:47:44 PM)
Same shit with a lot of female subs I have dated. Little attention whores.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 8:47:46 PM)
Well if the matter is merely drama and sulking, it's not a male-sub only trait. I know pleeeeenty of females, both inside BDSM and outside, who enjoy their drama too, and over much sillier things.

hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:03:34 PM)
it comes across as more "traumatic" than "dramatic" to me. but i can only take your word for the over-acting, i'm up for emotions in all degrees, but melodrama is so taxing of peoples tolerance and patience. comsidering how understanding you seem to be, he should be quite grateful for that, but i can understand how it would be a heavy blow for anyone to take. when i "feel like a failure" i may not head to the bathroom, but i'd probably wish to be somewhere my presence would go unnoticed, if for no other reason than to compose myself.

MistressDolly -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:07:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra I love male subs let me say that firstly and this is in no way a slam at them. But over the years I have noticed a common thread, at least in the 4 that I have owned. They all seemed to have a talent for being dramatic. I will give you an example of what I mean. This weekend my sub had a problem with getting an erection, well hell we'd been going at it for hours and at the age of 37 its not unexpected. We've had discussions about this subject before and he understands it happens but according to him it doesnt happen to HIM. I guess he thinks he is Mister supercock or something[;)] Well he went into total sulk mode and locked himself in the bathroom. I let him go without saying a word to him and then he came to lay in the bed next to me, again I said nothing to him as I can't stand sulking and it seems when he is in this mood you cannot say anything that helps him to feel better. I have had other male subs do this same thing and under different circumstances. Now it could be the subs that I select, but I wondered if any other Mistresses had seen this in their subs? He later said the reason it bothers him so much is because his job as a sub is to please and if he fails to get an erection he has failed in his duty. My view is as long as you try you are serving, you can't help that your body does otherwise. ~Lashra He serves You even in failure...

chezzy52 -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:15:56 PM)
Ok..i'll get this out on the table.I am diabetic and my chances for an erection that is anywhere worthwhile are slim to none.Now i know y'all are thinking the lil blue pill.Well at 100 bucks a pop(8 pills to a prescription)that is an expense i can do without.I don't whine and cry about it.It is what it is and the situation should be aceepted for what it is.I do have fingers and a tongue that work exquisitely well.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:16:43 PM)
It does seem to be a trend with the ones you pick. Perhaps they build it up in themselves too much. I'd say keep a leash on him and next time he starts down that spiral, stop him and train him that the proper response is to either relax and switch to something cuddly and happy but not necessarily sexual, or to ask nicely if he'd be allowed to use a toy or go down on you to enjoy sexual togetherness that way. Not to mention, strap ons are not just for women to wear.

Gwynsbitchboi -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:24:42 PM)
Maybe I'm too chill then to be a good sub? lol

undergroundsea -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:28:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chezzy52 Now i know y'all are thinking the lil blue pill. So that's what Morpheus was asking?! I thought it had something to do with breaking out of the Matrix! Just kidding ;-) After learning salon pedicures and Swedish massage, drama classes seemed to be a natural progression for me. Cheers, Sea

laurell3 -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:30:04 PM)
I didn't read the responses Lashra, but honestly I think this type of drama that you used as an example is incredibly difficult for men to grow to accept. It has nothing to do with role, I haven't met a man yet that didn't turn a performance issue into a huge deal because it is for them. I don't know if he has drama issues with other things, but this one I really think he probably needs understanding and time to accept that he is going to suffer decrease in sexual performance with age. edited for spelling...ok yeah decease wasn't the word I was looking for thanks sea!

undergroundsea -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:36:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 I think this type of drama that you used as an example is incredibly difficult for men to grow to accept. It has nothing to do with role, I haven't met a man yet that didn't turn a performance issue into a huge deal because it is for them. Insightful and empathetic observation. On a different note, sure a limp penis isn't exactly alive and kicking. But isn't decease too strong a word? Just kidding ;-) I know what you meant. Cheers, Sea

midnightover -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:48:22 PM)
Its almost like you're surprised he was upset...? Having a cock that doesn't work is like having a leg that doesn't walk, or an eye that doesn't see. Obviously it is a big deal.

SixFootMaster -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 9:59:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 I didn't read the responses Lashra, but honestly I think this type of drama that you used as an example is incredibly difficult for men to grow to accept. It has nothing to do with role, I haven't met a man yet that didn't turn a performance issue into a huge deal because it is for them. I don't know if he has drama issues with other things, but this one I really think he probably needs understanding and time to accept that he is going to suffer decrease in sexual performance with age. edited for spelling...ok yeah decease wasn't the word I was looking for thanks sea! Hi Laurell, Yeah, it's true but there's a solid psychological reason behind it. Men are for want of a better word "pro-active" we are happiest when we are doing something, we are active in our approach to life. I want to see if I can word this in a way that is clear and in offensive. What follows is gross generalisation but more or less accurate: Female submissives more often desire to be found pleasing than to actively please. Male submissive more often desire to actively please and be useful than to be found pleasing. Or another way: Female submissives want their owners to make use of them, and to be pleased with them in that usage. Male submissives want to be of use to their owners, and for their owners to be pleased when they are. The key I'm trying to underscore is that the male mind-set, submissive or dominant, is geared to being proactive. Doing something that is pleasing, as opposed to being pleasing by doing something. Is that clearer than mud? When a man, dominant or otherwise, is unable to perform a task it becomes an issue of worth - many men, for example, have a minor insecurity if they aren't particularly good at handwork - building cupboards and spice racks, or dungeon furniture. Most men are creative and competitive together - and this finds expression in sportsmanship, the noble laborer myth, and so on. On a primal level it can become a feeling of inadequacy when we don't match up to these ideals and expectations we have for ourselves. SixFoot Coleridge

darchChylde -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 10:26:06 PM)
Ok... being a male and submissive. i'll admit it, we do have a tendency to be drama magnets, perhaps it's because we also are generally more in touch with our emotions than other men. But it my experience, all submissive seem to be pretty dramatic. But with your example, i believe this has little to do with being submissive. The most obvious physical aspect of masculinity is the penis. As such, when the penis doesn't work; it means that we are less than men. To us, this isn't that different to the way many women emotionally react (please forgive the comparison) if they are forced to undergo a mastectomy. This is why you can't watch an hour of television without seeing a commercial about the latest treatment for erectile dysfunction and also why fancy sports or muscle cars are so popular to men in their late 30s to 50s.

SixFootMaster -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 10:29:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde Ok... being a male and submissive. i'll admit it, we do have a tendency to be drama magnets, perhaps it's because we also are generally more in touch with our emotions than other men. But it my experience, all submissive seem to be pretty dramatic. But with your example, i believe this has little to do with being submissive. The most obvious physical aspect of masculinity is the penis. As such, when the penis doesn't work; it means that we are less than men. To us, this isn't that different to the way many women emotionally react (please forgive the comparison) if they are forced to undergo a mastectomy. This is why you can't watch an hour of television without seeing a commercial about the latest treatment for erectile dysfunction and also why fancy sports or muscle cars are so popular to men in their late 30s to 50s. Hey! Leave my car out of this! [:o]

darchChylde -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 10:34:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster Hey! Leave my car out of this! [:o] Hehe, i'm assuming that there is some humor behind your comment and the following is meant in good fun. i'm going to apologize in advance... Sorry 'bout your penis!!!

SixFootMaster -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 10:45:22 PM)
At this rate, I'm going to be driving a hummer! [&o]

Leatherist -> RE: Male subs sometimes dramatic? (3/3/2008 10:58:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 I didn't read the responses Lashra, but honestly I think this type of drama that you used as an example is incredibly difficult for men to grow to accept. It has nothing to do with role, I haven't met a man yet that didn't turn a performance issue into a huge deal because it is for them. I don't know if he has drama issues with other things, but this one I really think he probably needs understanding and time to accept that he is going to suffer decrease in sexual performance with age. edited for spelling...ok yeah decease wasn't the word I was looking for thanks sea! Hi Laurell, Yeah, it's true but there's a solid psychological reason behind it. Men are for want of a better word "pro-active" we are happiest when we are doing something, we are active in our approach to life. I want to see if I can word this in a way that is clear and in offensive. What follows is gross generalisation but more or less accurate: Female submissives more often desire to be found pleasing than to actively please. Male submissive more often desire to actively please and be useful than to be found pleasing. Or another way: Female submissives want their owners to make use of them, and to be pleased with them in that usage. Male submissives want to be of use to their owners, and for their owners to be pleased when they are. The key I'm trying to underscore is that the male mind-set, submissive or dominant, is geared to being proactive. Doing something that is pleasing, as opposed to being pleasing by doing something. Is that clearer than mud? When a man, dominant or otherwise, is unable to perform a task it becomes an issue of worth - many men, for example, have a minor insecurity if they aren't particularly good at handwork - building cupboards and spice racks, or dungeon furniture. Most men are creative and competitive together - and this finds expression in sportsmanship, the noble laborer myth, and so on. On a primal level it can become a feeling of inadequacy when we don't match up to these ideals and expectations we have for ourselves. SixFoot Coleridge Which is why so many fem subs act like you just poleaxed them when you ask them for active preformance and excellence. It takes a real bastard to make you work, rather than just lie about and have things done to you. [;)]

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