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RE: Embarassment with service - 3/5/2008 10:50:52 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

I can't...I slid off my chair.



subtee,

damn, dangling modifyers just abound here / I do hope it was a great slide.

CP

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/5/2008 10:58:07 AM   
branbran77


Posts: 24
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

While not yielding the principle that D/s is more about mental control then sexual control; sex is still a major part of the D/s dynamic.

Many submissives come into this lifestyle in their 30' or 40's and have experienced generally only vanilla sex / thus the question how does a submissive get past that embarrassment of some forms of sexual demands.

Example, if your Sir reequired you to masterbate yourself while he watched. Untill that special candor and trust is built, how do you handle the scene?

CP


My Daddy had me masterbate our first session....iv allways been embarrassed about it...but i wanted to please him more then anything....so i did....another thing that helped...i was blindfolded

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/5/2008 11:18:48 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I got over any embarrassment about sexual activities about 20 years ago.  Masturbating in front of someone else? It's not I find it embarrassing, it's that it's, well, boring.  I'd rather have HIM touching me than ME touching me... hell I can do that any time I want. 

This has been an interesting read though.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to branbran77)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/5/2008 8:49:39 PM   
Satina


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

Same as  talking dirty, I suck at it, truly and I drive Wolf's wife around the bend whenever I call my body parts 'my bits' lol 


Wolf's denika
Yes, yes you do drive me nuts when you call them bits, but, I love you anyway! =)


Satina

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Embarrassment with service - 3/5/2008 9:28:13 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		About two weeks ago we had a very shy sub down for a visit and it took a lot of encouragement to even get her to think about masturbating in front of us ,it came down to a glass of wine and the lights turn down to get her in the mood.So there she was blindfolded and told to please me by getting herself off.I failed to mention that I was going to video the whole thing..She proceeded slowly but warmed up very quickly..after several loud earth shattering orgasms she was exhausted,,,,You wouldn't believe the look of wonderment as she watch as it all  unfolded....a smile that lite up the room as she watched her grand performance...A very happy young woman left  the next day with the tape as her prized possion ...No matter where you turn sex is a part of our world d/s vanilla..pentration or the good ol' mind fuck,I don't know about the rest of you but I wouldn't have it any other way....

< Message edited by BOUNTYHUNTER -- 3/5/2008 9:30:50 PM >

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/5/2008 9:35:23 PM   
Violetta01


Posts: 20
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		I have had two Masters and both have asked me to perform sexual services that embarressed me, initially. It was a struggle and sometimes can still be uncomfortable for me because I am shy. I try to keep in mind that this is what was asked of me because it gives the Master pleasure. The feeling of dissapointing him is worse than my own discomfort/shyness. So I gut it out and plow ahead. In the end I am always happy that I did it. I have learned new skills and been pushed outside of my shyness, which can hold me back from enjoying many things and delivering the best service possible.

If you feel you lack the skills to perform the request, ask to be lead or trained. Then you are really in it together and it will give you courage.
Good luck.

(in reply to FullofShadows)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 12:01:06 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It amazes me that we had fairly looser morals on shared activities,
leakylee,

But that is the point of the D/s path, to create/change the vanilla moral code.
thanks for sharing,

CP

(in reply to leakylee)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 12:05:38 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

CP, why would you think Gary would order me to do something sexually that i wouldn't be happy doing?


pepper,

we drift from the main subject, but to your point, I do not think he would order you so long as there is a frying pan handy.

CP

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 12:10:40 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

"people with morals" don't let others do the "sick and depraved" things to them.


smiles,

BBW

and yet that same thought crosses the mind of so many newcomers until the liberation occurs.

CP

(in reply to BBWnNC72)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 12:16:15 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I hope this came close to addressing your initial thoughts..


cyndi,

well indeed it did and I do thank you for sharing your viewpoint.

CP

(in reply to TysGalilah)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 12:22:14 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

masturbating infront of anyone, even my husband of 17 years is a challenge, having sex with him or Wolf infront of people--no problem


denika,

grins, you present an interesting line to be crossed. thanks for sharing.

CP

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 12:26:31 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

another thing that helped...i was blindfolded <http://www.collarchat.com/image/s2.gif>


branbran,

blindfolding, is a deprivation, but for you it worked out, can you now do so without blindfolding?

CP

(in reply to branbran77)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 12:29:05 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

hell I can do that any time I want.


chick,

smiles, but masterbation was only an example; there are other activiites.

CP

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Embarrassment with service - 3/6/2008 12:34:01 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

A very happy young woman left the next day with the tape as her prized possion .


BH,

Well you do know how to address the issue, she is forever in your debt.

CP

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 12:47:06 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

sex is still a major part of the D/s dynamic.

Ok, this really pisses me off. The general consensus that relationships HAVE to have sex involved. Why is it so hard to believe or understand that an intimate relationship; whether 'vanilla' or BDSM, or M/s/D/s;  with another can be non-sexual in nature?


I'm with you IrishMist on this. Sex has never been a part of my D/s relationships.

I've noticed a subs profile on the other side that says that he's here, as all of us are, looking for sexual gratification. Many of us are not and it is a huge misconception to believe that we are all here for some kind of sexual payoff.

For those who are, bloody good luck to you (ya dirty little buggers), but it's not the case with everyone.



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Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 1:07:22 AM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		You can stay a frigid if You want. Your allowed and excused to be so.

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 1:18:51 AM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		CP

Personally I simply close my eyes take a deep breath and remember one of two things.

If my owners ordering it, hes getting some pleasure from it, even if its my embarassment

If I do not comply, what will my punishment be, is it worth showing him the displeasure or not.

Even if the relationship is new and buddying, or if its old and built. There are somethings that are hard to overcome, weither it be masturbation or being naked infront of a group of his friends. Its all about knowing where to push and what to push. My owner would know from the start, the easist way to get me to do something. Is challenge me, making it seem to them that its not something I can do. If the dom knows their sub, He knows where to push to get her to do something, and what do with her actually doing it. It can be with in the first few conversations that the dom knows his sub. It can take him years. Its all about the person and how perceptive they are. In my Opinion.



_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to petpete)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 1:46:10 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
Example, if your Sir reequired you to masterbate yourself while he watched. Untill that special candor and trust is built, how do you handle the scene?


Could be because I'm in my twenties but I don't really see that as all that kinky or interesting. I've seen it suggested as something to spice up your sex life in plenty of "normal" magazines aimed at women. Sure it could be difficult, but so it getting naked in front of someone for the first time. Less of a BDSM issue, more of a run of the mill confidence one.


Heck, i'll be 55 this Sunday and i really don't see it as kinky or D/s either.  i absolutely agree with AquaticSub that it's more a confidence issue than a BDSM issue. 

How have i handled such things?  Well, my dear departed aunt once told me "Honey, men love naked women.  And if you're the only naked woman in the room, he's gonna love you!"   *smiles, gawd i miss that woman*  my only confidence issues arise when there are more than one naked woman in the room.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 10:45:42 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Even if the relationship is new and buddying, or if its old and built. There are somethings that are hard to overcome, weither it be masturbation or being naked infront of a group of his friends. Its all about knowing where to push and what to push. My owner would know from the start, the easist way to get me to do something. Is challenge me, making it seem to them that its not something I can do. If the dom knows their sub, He knows where to push to get her to do something, and what do with her actually doing it. It can be with in the first few conversations that the dom knows his sub. It can take him years. Its all about the person and how perceptive they are. In my Opinion.



hopeless,

with such analogy, you will never be hopeless. thanks for your input.

CP

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 10:49:35 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

my only confidence issues arise when there are more than one naked woman in the room.
[/quote

eyes,

tho your reply was re Aquatic, I simply say you need not have confidence issues.

CP


(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 80
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