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RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 6:42:39 PM   
branbran77


Posts: 24
Joined: 2/12/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

another thing that helped...i was blindfolded <http://www.collarchat.com/image/s2.gif>


branbran,

blindfolding, is a deprivation, but for you it worked out, can you now do so without blindfolding?

CP


You Bet I can!!!!

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/6/2008 7:31:24 PM   
StormsSlave


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Joined: 2/6/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

While not yielding the principle that D/s is more about mental control then sexual control; sex is still a major part of the D/s dynamic.

Many submissives come into this lifestyle in their 30' or 40's and have experienced generally only vanilla sex / thus the question how does a submissive get past that embarrassment of some forms of sexual demands.

Example, if your Sir reequired you to masterbate yourself while he watched. Untill that special candor and trust is built, how do you handle the scene?

CP


I can only speak from my own perspective.  It was more gradual than all that.  First, musturbating together or being watched has always been part of sex for me.  Don't even remember the first time.

As for how I came to get past the embarassment, well, if I didn't like it, I'd say so, and he most likely wouldn't do it anymore, or at least only when he was feeling particularly sadistic.  (Not talking about hard limits here.)

It didn't take many experiences for me to to figure out that submitting felt good.  I liked it, he liked it, we did it again.  I don't even know that we discussed it much at first, except to clarify that no one was hurt, and that we were enjoying it.  It has evolved incrementally from there.

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RE: Embarassment with service - 3/7/2008 4:35:53 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

It didn't take many experiences for me to to figure out that submitting felt good. I liked it, he liked it, we did it again


Sslave,

Now that is progress and ultimately the way it should be.

CP

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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/7/2008 8:47:29 AM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		I don't find it embarrassing but I usually have to have a one to two glasses of whine before hand so I feel at ease. Plus I have to have some slow erotic music to get me in the mood then I'm ready to go. I use to be an erotic dancer so it is sort of like that you have to be confident and sexy and let go.

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RE: Embarassment with service - 3/7/2008 10:00:33 AM   
CelticPrince


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Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

don't find it embarrassing but I usually have to have a one to two glasses of whine before hand so I feel at ease. Plus I have to have some slow erotic music to get me in the mood then I'm ready to go. I use to be an erotic dancer so it is sort of like that you have to be confident and sexy and let go.


lilpookie,

Might I suggest Ravel's Bolero for the ultimate mmod!

CP

(in reply to Daddyslilpookie)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/7/2008 12:50:02 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		I will definitly thanks CP

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Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/7/2008 7:00:08 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I will definitly thanks CP <http://www.collarchat.com/image/s1.gif> [/quote

goo girl, and it might take a couple of time to get the timing just right but when you do // sooooooooooooooo good.

CP]

(in reply to Daddyslilpookie)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/9/2008 12:32:40 AM   
TaintedEyes


Posts: 25
Joined: 2/21/2008
From: World Citizen
Status: offline 		In response to the Original Poster, and forgive me if this has already been stated, but embarassment might not even be a bad thing.

In fact, the embarassing things may turn your partner on even more. I suppose its a personal choice type of thing.

xxo

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(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/9/2008 11:07:31 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

In fact, the embarassing things may turn your partner on even more. I suppose its a personal choice type of thing.


Tainted,

Indeed you bring up an excellent point as I have recalled a select few that being in that state of mind really helped to get the big "O".

thanks for your input.

CP

(in reply to TaintedEyes)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/9/2008 11:49:16 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

sex is still a major part of the D/s dynamic.



Er excuse me, but what has sex got to do with service? I don't see a connection, unless of course we're talking about prostitution.

When you serve someone you do something or give something to someone without any thought of receiving anything in return.

Service is a major part of D/s, which kind of disproves your statement above I think.

I think what you're really trying to discuss here is submission.

Submission and domination are integral elements of a sexual relationship, but this doesn't make sex a major part of the D/s dynamic unless we're talking about a sexual relationship.

This is a popular misconception that D/s is all about sex, perversion and sexual gratification. But there's a kind of ratio I feel that sex is as important to you in D/s as it is in your life.

For many people it is, but for some it isn't. But it doesn't mean necessarily that those who don't see sex as a big part of the D/s dynamic are frigid, impotent or in any way sexually dysfunctional, it just means they have a different perspective.

I hope sharing my perspective here sheds some light for others.

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(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/9/2008 1:29:59 PM   
Tannie


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
But that is the point of the D/s path, to create/change the vanilla moral code.
thanks for sharing,
CP


*raises an eyebrow*  I don't know about everyone else here, but I keep the same moral code no matter where I go.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/10/2008 2:52:05 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Er excuse me, but what has sex got to do with service? I don't see a connection, unless of course we're talking about prostitution.

When you serve someone you do something or give something to someone without any thought of receiving anything in return.

Service is a major part of D/s, which kind of disproves your statement above I think.

I think what you're really trying to discuss here is submission.


stella,

your comments are somewhat complex but i will attempt to keep it simply, service is a universal term in the D/s dynamic, it does not refer to prostitution. While theree has been a focus on thee sexual part of sevice, it does not imply there is there is an exclusion of "other" service.

CP

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Embarassment with service - 3/10/2008 2:56:19 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I don't know about everyone else here, but I keep the same moral code no matter where I go.




Tannie,, it would be interesting to hear how you apply your D/s personal to the vaniulla world, as moral codes are applied.

CP

(in reply to Tannie)
Profile   Post #: 93
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