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RE: A neglectful Dom - 3/5/2008 6:55:00 PM

LeatherMasterKY

Posts: 21
Joined: 1/8/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
The problem with being a sub, is that, you are already, by definition, a vulnerable open, person.

Uhh which definition is that exactly? I'd suggest not making such a false universal generalization.

quote:

When looking (online especially, but really any time) you must (imo) hide the vulnerability, and be not only NOT vulnerable, but, in charge.
You have to be in charge of who you speak with, how they speak to you and treat you, and the pace of the relationship.
You cannot be submissive to everyone or even most who contact you.

It must be nice not to be held accountable for your actions- most subs and slaves I know are, either by their doms, or by life in general. Sub doesn't mean you get to pass on being accountable and responsible for yourself.

LA; I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else. She asked for advice and I took the time to give it. Most of the subs I know, have met and talked to talk about the perils of being open and vulnerable, (and trying not to be taken advantage of for it).

As far as the second part, I have no idea where you're going with that. I am telling her to hold herself and others accountable for how they treat her, and they will follow accordingly. I am actually telling her exactly what you said.

It's an open forum. Again, I do apologize if you were offended by anything I said.

*edited to add...as you can tell...this is Christina...I will sign out of HoneyMaster's account now. *
When He uses my laptop, He forgets to sign out sometimes.

< Message edited by LeatherMasterKY -- 3/5/2008 6:56:21 PM >

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RE: A neglectful Dom - 3/5/2008 7:05:01 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Oh don't worry about offending me- you'd have to work pretty hard at that to make that happen.

I understand most of the subs you may happen to know may experience problems being open and vulnerable and use their being a sub as an excuse for it, but that does not equate the two conditions. I know lots of subs and slaves who have no problems with that and see absolutely no reason why being a sub should have anything to do with being open or vulnerable and certainly do not find it to be a problem in their lives.

The advice you gave to her was that she needs to be in charge of who she speaks with and how people treat her BEFORE the Ds, suggesting that once she is in such a relationship, such things no longer have relevance. This is false.

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RE: A neglectful Dom - 3/5/2008 7:32:11 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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Hmmm....honestly, I didn't mean that she should not have control over her life later. Just that she HAS to have it at the beginning, or she will NEVER have it later.
I didn't mean to imply the things that you said.

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My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

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RE: A neglectful Dom - 3/5/2008 7:46:26 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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To avoid these types. I do not give out my number until after a vanilla meeting in public. I do not Cam, or IM. if they want to communicate it better be in full and eloquent sentences that express alot and communicate well. If they are not willing to communicate through e-mail...meaning no phone, chat or CAM they are not worth the effort. I e-mailed with my Sir for 3 weeks before we met at a bookstore. After a wonderful vanilla date,we e-mailed again with complimentary things to each other about how well we clicked and then full contact info..willingness to reveal addresses, phone numbers, place of employment. If a guy wont share this, he is hiding something.

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Post #: 44

RE: A neglectful Dom - 3/6/2008 6:19:36 AM

ladytosirdragon

Posts: 11
Joined: 3/5/2008
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If someone truly wishes to own you,they are willing to invest the time and effort it takes to build the trust and bond you need in order to proceed down that road,my husband and myself spent months before we evenasked our girls for numbers or anything personal inthat regard,we have had23/25 years experience in thelifestyle,we live it 24/7rt,we take offense when ppl do this,it gives BDSM a bad name,and makes it all the more difficult for us to find the next girl to serve us.What happened to the old ways of treasuring your subs/slaves submission as your gift?Mutual respect?Relationship?theyre all fading off in the distance,so ppl can play games,instead of seeing the value in the true submissive heart,missing out on the smiles and satisfaction it brings when your pleased with what your girl has done for you and you praise her make her proud of herself.I wish you much luck on here and in life.Ladytosirdragon

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Post #: 45