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No shows - 3/5/2008 12:50:45 PM   
LadyVictoria


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/12/2005
Status: offline 		Has anyone else had a lot of no-shows?  I really don't understand it.  Is it a game for some to find out how many Mistresses they can fool into believing they are for real and then just never showing up at the planned meeting?  How do you all handle it?  Is there any way to prevent it, or at least, to minimize it?  I do try to take My time and get to know someone before I even plan a meeting, so, what else can I do?  Any thoughts?

Lady V
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, but quite a few electrons were inconvenienced*
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RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 12:55:00 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		It happens.. but generally, I don't set up one on one dates so that I don't have to worry about it.

I say:  I'll be at this play party, its open to the public, please say hello if you'd like.

Did it this weekend... Friday and Saturday.. both had legit reasons for not showing, but my level of effort now goes down accordingly...

I tend not to make one on one dates... for this reason.. I hate to wait... and to be honest, I actually expect folks not to show, so I'm always surprised when they do.  Often I have a good idea of who will and will not actually.  If they've never had any ties to the RT local community, more often than not, I don't think I'm going to be the reason they start.

Good luck!

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 3/5/2008 12:56:39 PM >

(in reply to LadyVictoria)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 12:59:10 PM   
LadyVictoria


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/12/2005
Status: offline 		Well, that would work if there were such things as play parties around here!  lol..... 

But, these guys are the ones begging to meet in the first place!  That's the part I just don't get.  *sigh* 

And thanks!  I used to think I was a pretty judge of character, but after being on here for a while, I am revising My opinion of that!  *G*

Lady V
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, but quite a few electrons were inconvenienced*

< Message edited by LadyVictoria -- 3/5/2008 1:02:06 PM >

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 1:07:36 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Well... I say that I usually know.. I don't all the time... *grin*  I'll admit, there's almost always something going on most weekends here so its not too hard.

I find it funny too though, it is the most eager (read aggressive) ones that don't show.

(in reply to LadyVictoria)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 1:23:00 PM   
LadyVictoria


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

I find it funny too though, it is the most eager (read aggressive) ones that don't show.


Isn't THAT the truth!!! 

Lady V
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, but quite a few electrons were inconvenienced*

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 1:28:54 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		This is why I no longer travel to them. If they want to meet me, they are the ones making the effort.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyVictoria)
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RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 1:31:22 PM   
LadyVictoria


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/12/2005
Status: offline 		I totally agree.  I never travel to meet them.  If they can't make the effort to meet Me, how much effort can I expect them to put forth in serving Me?

Lady V
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, but quite a few electrons were inconvenienced*

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 1:50:22 PM   
AtlantaMistress


Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyVictoria

I totally agree.  I never travel to meet them.  If they can't make the effort to meet Me, how much effort can I expect them to put forth in serving Me?

Lady V


I am VERY selective with who I see, even as a Pro Domme. When I first started, I had more than a few no shows. I am now better at screening - exchange several email first, then a phone call or two. I explain that when they pick a time, they MUST be pretty damn sure they can make it - I very rarely give second chances. I also make them confirm the day before, and call when they are on the way. There is nothing worse for me than to get all dressed up with no one to spank! lol I have certainly cut down the number of no shows to it happening only occassionally, and then I will not return any emails or phone calls from a man who stands me up. He lost his chance - PERIOD.

The only advice I can give is to screen as best as you can to their motivation - making sure they must be wanting to serve you. Also, there are far more sub men than there are Dommes. It is in the attitude I think - that they are lucky to have an opportunity to serve you. If you believe it...so will they.

Good luck!


_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.


(in reply to LadyVictoria)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 1:53:22 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyVictoria

Has anyone else had a lot of no-shows?  I really don't understand it.  Is it a game for some to find out how many Mistresses they can fool into believing they are for real and then just never showing up at the planned meeting?  How do you all handle it?  Is there any way to prevent it, or at least, to minimize it?  I do try to take My time and get to know someone before I even plan a meeting, so, what else can I do?  Any thoughts?

Lady V
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, but quite a few electrons were inconvenienced*



I had 2 no shows last year. They bugged me for months before I said, ok to a meet and they never showed. Their profiles were deleted too.


Diane


(in reply to LadyVictoria)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:02:23 PM   
Kirren


Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline 		In My experience, and mind you this is only My experience, the no shows that I have gotten have later contacted Me to explain...which like the rest of you I disregard that and send them on their way ass in hand....that they were new, scared of the idea and just couldnt go thru with it.

It happens. I think its like a right of passage or something.

But the general idea is to get them to do the work, so that you dont drive 900 miles out of your way for some flake, or worse yet a psycho with an axe...

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name


Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:05:46 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		These 2 never tried to contact me after.


Diane

(in reply to Kirren)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:15:41 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		are you all getting stood up, or are they merely cancelling?

(in reply to LadyVictoria)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:17:27 PM   
Kirren


Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline 		My two stood Me up.

Which...I swore if I ever saw them Id slap them in the face...but...I was pretty pissed at the time. Nothing like going out in leather in the summer months.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name


Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:20:43 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

are you all getting stood up, or are they merely cancelling?




No one told me they were canceling...They could of called me.


Diane

< Message edited by DianeB269 -- 3/5/2008 2:24:08 PM >

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:27:09 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		We've had some call about 10 minutes before we were supposed to meet (both of them were to have driven about an hour to meet us) to let us know they weren't going to be there.  At least they told us, right? *shrugs*

then there is the latest one that we went to meet.  He just didn't show, but Holly and rob and I were going out anyway, so we went ahead and ate dinner and enjoyed ourselves.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:34:36 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I'm meeting with 3 new subs this weekend. One from here and 2 from my yahoo group.
Lets see if they all show up.


Diane

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:39:51 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I'll keep my fingers crossed for you - I'll be working all weekend lol

we aren't really talking to anyone close enough at this point to meet, so it's going to be awhile before we find out if we have another no-show or not.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:42:42 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		All 3 live with in 10 or 15 minutes of the meeting place so, ther should be no excuses.


Diane

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 2:58:45 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		if i didn't feel comfortable but promised to be there, i'd call before it became a burden or just push through it as best as i could.  i can't imaging standing someone up after as many times as it's happened to me, but even if i did have a change of heart last minute i'd at least inform the poor girl that has me so terrified i won't be there lol.  if nothing else, calling her and talking would surely ease the anxiety and cause me to reconsider.  if she traveled or put some effort into it all, i'd feel too guilty to back out, even if i thought i was jumping into the clutches Ms. Satan.  besides, i'm just talking about meeting casually, not meet me in the dungeon.  i wouldn't likely ever mislead someone to think i would be up for hanging by my arms from a ceiling fan before having coffee first, and i could have coffee with anyone.

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: No shows - 3/5/2008 3:19:30 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		Yep, I get some weird behavior from both models and prospective submissives.  I am sure there are some people who are just rude/hurtful, but i think the majority of people who make appointments of this sort and don't keep them are just balanced on a razor's edge between desire and fear.  They try to reach out for what they desire, but they are unable to follow through.  *shrug*  Their loss.

I don't make repeat appointments with no-shows or last-minute cancellations.  That sort of thing is a sign that someone thinks my time and energy are worthless; if I allowed it to pass, it would show that I agreed with them.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 20
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