who is chasing who

who is chasing who (Full Version)

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Mastersplitlicke -> who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:01:13 PM)
If this has been posted to death already, sorry Just been woundering about "the chase" for a DOM or a sub The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact. Is that so wrong ? Thinking about vanilla and the old fashion way I guess, of the man chasing the woman. And as i am a man and looking for a woman sub seems that is the case in this lifestyle. Or perhaps its just the number of men over the number of woman like most sites. The woman have so many man chasing them there is no need. I am happy being single, and in no hurry. The ex made me cautions I guess. Or i need more JD , or better pills

subtee -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:04:19 PM)
On the other side of the coin/whip, there are Doms who refuse to "chase," meaning they won't make first contact. Have some more JD. ~clink~ Cheers!

CalifChick -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:07:52 PM)
You asked "is that so wrong"... who says it is wrong? Who says it is wrong for either party to make the first contact or to refuse to make the first? I'm ready, tell me who. [sm=whap.gif] Cali

christine1 -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:09:23 PM)
i think some subs are afraid to make contact for various reasons. i know that in the past, even by looking at a doms profile, i've all but been accosted and all i wanted to do was look. looking is interpreted by some doms as the sub saying " i want to have your baby", it makes one a little leary of perving profiles and making contact.... edited to add, i'm sure this happens to doms too. i dont' think it matters who initiates contact when it all comes down to it. making contact isn't domly or subly one way or the other, what i do think matters is the manner in which the contact is made.

womyn -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:09:52 PM)
well is it anymore wrong than a woman asking a man out for a regular date or for his phone number? Hi Subtee long time no see . . . >>giving a big hug and kiss<<

TracyTaken -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:09:53 PM)
quote: The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact. Is that so wrong ? It's not wrong. It's not a realistic thing to expect though.

womyn -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:12:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TracyTaken quote: The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact. Is that so wrong ? It's not wrong. It's not a realistic thing to expect though. alas, I would have to agree!

SailingBum -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:12:55 PM)
My dog chases his tail. Is there any meaning in that? BadOne

subtee -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:13:41 PM)
Hey womyn, nice to see you too. Your food thread I just read had me drooling...and seeing you again. XO hijack over!

RedMagic1 -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:15:13 PM)
Several female subs have emailed me first. However, this didn't start until I became a regular forum poster. Remember what christine1 wrote. If the ladies see that you're not Mr. Desperate Blueballs, and you actually have a brain and a life, they might think you are (1) interesting, and (2) safe to approach. Just having a profile up isn't good enough though.

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:18:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TracyTaken quote: The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact. Is that so wrong ? It's not wrong. It's not a realistic thing to expect though. Why is it not realistic? That's exactly how I met SimplyMichael. I receive pages and pages of emails daily, yet I read his posts and chose to write to him...

SubbieOnWheels -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:18:58 PM)
In a vanilla situation, there's a certain amount of risk - and I mean risk of physical danger. In a BDSM situation, there's even more risk. It's enough to make a person who is not physically strong want to hide in a corner and hire a yentl. So we have to grow backbones, develop a modicum of courage, and handle things in the best way we know how. I am not convinced my judgment is to be relied upon in selecting a likely Dom, so I tend to wait for them to contact me. That's just me. There are undoubtedly subs whose judgment is good, and who can select appropriately. I envy them.

subtee -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:20:10 PM)
Wait...you're not Mr. Desperate Blueballs? Sheeit. I rescind my (desperate) messages. My kink is okay, man!

probablyknowme -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:21:15 PM)
Too true, RedMagic. I know that most of the people I have contacted, both male and female (and Dom and sub for that matter), have been people I have come to know by their words here on the forums. It's nice to know that I can hold some semblance of an intelligent conversation with someone. kat

Mastersplitlicke -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:21:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Several female subs have emailed me first. However, this didn't start until I became a regular forum poster. Remember what christine1 wrote. If the ladies see that you're not Mr. Desperate Blueballs, and you actually have a brain and a life, they might think you are (1) interesting, and (2) safe to approach. Just having a profile up isn't good enough though. I was talking with a friend of mine "sub" she say's not if you ask me lol and talking about this stuff a few days ago just was wondering what others thought

Noah -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:41:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: womyn quote: ORIGINAL: TracyTaken quote: The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact. Is that so wrong ? It's not wrong. It's not a realistic thing to expect though. alas, I would have to agree! Of course it is entirely realistic. Why wouldn't it be?

DesFIP -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:47:11 PM)
She may be submissive to the right one, who obviously is not you. She has as much right to pick her dominant as you have to pick a compatible sub. Yes, women can and sometimes do email men. However women here get tons of email. We don't need to search profiles when we can have ten or more emails daily. Now RedMagic wouldn't have any trouble finding a compatible sub if he were looking, because his attitude in the fora is that he is a genuinely good guy, who likes and values his female partner. Most men who write women here don't have that attitude. We get whines and demands and a strong whiff of desperation which is never attractive. If you want a better response to your emails, write better emails. It really is that simple. Oh, and in case anyone is interested it ought to be "who is chasing whom".

Missokyst -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 5:52:34 PM)
Well.. I don't chase men. If that means that in this lifestyle I am unlikely to be found, then so be it. I have always preferred being the game, not the predator. Kyst

SailingBum -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 6:03:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Several female subs have emailed me first. However, this didn't start until I became a regular forum poster. Remember what christine1 wrote. If the ladies see that you're not Mr. Desperate Blueballs, and you actually have a brain and a life, they might think you are (1) interesting, and (2) safe to approach. Just having a profile up isn't good enough though. Yep! Although they never said I had a brain. BadOne

ownedgirlie -> RE: who is chasing who (3/5/2008 6:11:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mastersplitlicke If this has been posted to death already, sorry Just been woundering about "the chase" for a DOM or a sub The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact. Is that so wrong ? Thinking about vanilla and the old fashion way I guess, of the man chasing the woman. And as i am a man and looking for a woman sub seems that is the case in this lifestyle. Or perhaps its just the number of men over the number of woman like most sites. The woman have so many man chasing them there is no need. I am happy being single, and in no hurry. The ex made me cautions I guess. Or i need more JD , or better pills Neither my Master nor I "chased." He contacted me on a different site, though, and introduced himself. We continued talking over time, but for the first week or so I never contacted him first; I was just too shy, believe it or not. When he told me he would enjoy hearing from me daily, I began contacting him daily, but prior to that, it just felt too awkward for me to contact him. He has had other girls contact him initially, though. He doesn't have a protocol for that; things happen naturally as they should. I have had dominant friends who insisted they never made first contact, and it worked for them. It's just a matter of preference, I suppose.

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