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RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 7:54:46 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I’ve reached a point in my life (not necessarily mature but definitely old.  Ha)  that a first meet is simply an outing to see if this person is interesting enough to continue contact.  I like it casual, jeans and t-shirt, no make-up so they see the real me.  I go with few expectations and if it turns out to be fun that is a nice surprise.  I prefer to keep it simple; a walk in a park, or coffee so he can’t try to pull the ‘obligation card’. 
I make it clear before hand that we are meeting as equals and there will be no D/s until we know enough to decide if that is what we both want.  
Yes, I would expect to receive or make a confirmation call the day of.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 7:56:33 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DisirUrdsFylgja

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin




On topic, i HATE people being late HATE HATE HATE HATE its rude and uncalled for. If you arrange a meeting bloody be there on time, if you arent going to be phone as soon as you know or text.


Amen and Goddess bless this comment!


I agree......be on time!!!    We all have busy lives and it's just common courtesy to respect another's time.  I also feel that if for some reason you do need to cancel, then do so within an acceptable time frame.  I have so few days off and my time off is sacred....too sacred to waste on someone who can't respect it enough to call and say they won't be able to show. 

Just be respectful and go w/out any preconcieved notions. Oh, and smile!

(in reply to DisirUrdsFylgja)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:13:47 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Oh, and smile!


What if the person has a frowning fetish :P


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There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:25:06 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Oh, and smile!


What if the person has a frowning fetish :P

Just because I'm a sub doesn't mean that I won't force a smile out of you!!!!    

When I meet a Dom who takes himself so serious that he can't smile then that's a sign for me to look for the exit door. 


(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:25:16 AM   
RedHotAndSoSexy


Posts: 67
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		I am never nervous for a first meeting, simply because I am happy with who I am and if the other person does not like me, I consider it their loss, not mine. And...I may not like them, so what is there to be nervous about?

I also expect someone to make contact the day of the meeting and we exchange cell numbers if we are going to be late. Things DO come up for those of you who are so horrified over lateness.

I always say have no expectations on a first meeting; even low expectations are too high, since your imagination is usually better than the reality when it comes to online dating.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:29:16 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If I am meeting someone I have been communicating with for awhile, then I meet them as a friend. Let them know I am happy to get to spend time with them. I refuse to allow myself any expectations beyond that.

That being said, I prepare just as I would meeting anyone at that particular location and event. Whatever is appropriate.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:31:48 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO   

When I meet a Dom who takes himself so serious that he can't smile then that's a sign for me to look for the exit door. 




There is something to be said for an element of total arrogance i know Sir certainly has it (i thought he was such a pompus twat when i first met him,) But he also knows how to giggle at himself which is great cos i couldnt cope if he did the im so great thing ALL the time

< Message edited by colouredin -- 3/6/2008 8:32:40 AM >

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:40:00 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Meet them like a human, equal.

I dress to impress but would dress the same as I was going out with friends.  No skimping on shoe prices or by wearing jeans and tennis shoes.  That is just cheezy. 

Haven't met people in years that have made me nervous or to fret about meeting.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:43:36 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

There are a gazillion new people joining.  Using "um" in a sentence is bad communication.  It is holding a barrier of terminology between you and people who don't understand you


For those of you who do not know what the abbreviation or acronym UM or UMS stands for, it stands for unmentionables.
 
On a website where the use of acronyms is quite common, ie; BDSM, CP, OTK etc...i find it difficult to believe that most readers lack the intelligence to either figure them out or to ask someone who has used the term what it stands for.
 
And i have seen threads pulled containing the proper words that we substitute UMs for, whether they also contained sexual/scene references or not.
 
While i do agree it would be much easier to use correct terminology, on a site such as this i also believe better safe than sorry.
 
(PS to LAT, Hello there Beautiful, you are just as magnificent as ever)

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:45:23 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x
 
On a website where the use of acronyms is quite common, ie; BDSM, CP, OTK etc...i find it difficult to believe that most readers lack the intelligence to either figure them out or to ask someone who has used the term what it stands for.



Hmmm so not knowing an acronym makes you unintelligent? ever think its attitudes like that which PREVENT people from asking?


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:47:25 AM   
diz


Posts: 1076
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

 
First Meeting Behavior.
 
If you are a submissive or a slave,i am a slave a Dom or Domme what types of thoughts go running through your mind prior to a first meeting? how great a person i am, i love, laugh and believe in myself.
 
Do you spend the few days until you actually meet being nervous? Excited? excited about the opportunity to making a new friend if nothing else but this does ot go on for days.
 
What mental or physical preparations do you make?  make sure i am presentable as i would with going out anywhere with anyone
 
Do you keep in steady contact? Either by email or telephone. both would be ideal although i have met someone just by email comms before, it was good to hear their voice for the first time when we did finally meet :)
 
Or do you prefer the suspense of limited or no contact? it is no a preference but if it happens that way so be it.
 
Would you be unsure about the meeting if you did not receive daily contact? no.
 
Would you still go to agreed upon rendezvous if you did not receive an absolute confirmation to be there the day prior to the scheduled date? yes, i have made a commitment by saying i would goand i am true to my word so i would go...




as for someone being late, i turn up i prefer to meet for a coffee/drink first if they are 10 mins late without being polite and saying so i drink my coffee and leave..... manners cost nothing !

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my silent tears express far more than i ever could.

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:48:01 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Hello there sweet lady! I bet you are getting all pumped up for gardening season! I know I am. I hope all of you are doing well. Please give Jewel and Scooter a hello from me also.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:50:45 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x
 
On a website where the use of acronyms is quite common, ie; BDSM, CP, OTK etc...i find it difficult to believe that most readers lack the intelligence to either figure them out or to ask someone who has used the term what it stands for.



Hmmm so not knowing an acronym makes you unintelligent? ever think its attitudes like that which PREVENT people from asking?


I think you misread my comment. I said nothing about not knowing what the acronym standing for meaning you lacked intelligence. I stated quite clearly that anybody with any modicum of brains would either, either being the operative phrase here, figure it out or ask.

"On a website where the use of acronyms is quite common, ie; BDSM, CP, OTK etc...i find it difficult to believe that most readers lack the intelligence to either figure them out or to ask someone who has used the term what it stands for."

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:52:12 AM   
diz


Posts: 1076
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x
 
On a website where the use of acronyms is quite common, ie; BDSM, CP, OTK etc...i find it difficult to believe that most readers lack the intelligence to either figure them out or to ask someone who has used the term what it stands for.



Hmmm so not knowing an acronym makes you unintelligent? ever think its attitudes like that which PREVENT people from asking?
totally agree with you :)


i am of the opinion that it does not take long to type something out in full, i practise this myself and i also always text in full when sending a message to someone from my phone..... to me it is about not being lazy!

but hey thats just my opinion!!!

_____________________________

my silent tears express far more than i ever could.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:52:18 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		Hello to you too, grins, i already have seedlings up and waiting to be planted. Big hugs from us all, 2x.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 8:58:16 AM   
HouseDV8


Posts: 37
Joined: 5/10/2007
From: Houston
Status: offline 		Am i the only total fucking whore here??? LOLOLOL...i swear, most of my first meetings ended up with me getting fucked.

The first time i met the women that became my first Mistress, she took me back to her place, allowed her male sub to cross-dress and then spent a few hours taking me on a SM 101 tour of her equipment, toys, fetish attire, etc...i got to feel everything (including insertables) she had at least once and dressed up a few times.

The first time i met Master Eduardo, my first male Dominant and my first formal trainer, he came into my house and within 5 minutes he had his canes on the pool table in front of me and His fingers in my cunt! He is the most incredible man. He is still single too...if any subby girls out there are looking for a very hot, very intelligent, world traveled opera singer with a fetish for stockings and canes. A sadist for sure, and also a cook. His Handle on here is Mistyfiyou...and yes, it is intentionally misspelled and yes, when you read his profile and journal it is not grammatically correct...that is because he speaks 5 languages and English was the only one he never studied formally...didn't speak a word of it when he first came to NYC...i think something like 17 years ago?

The first time i met Wayne we had the most incredible tantric night of sex in nirvana! My god could that man FUCK!

Master is a little different...i actually knew Him for years, part of the same community, same parties, same friends, even same pussy from time to time when one of His slaves would play with me. He and i were never close though...that is until that night we fell in love...and then it was still instant...i was over his knee and then in his bed for the next 2 weeks.

Want to know my secret? Yes, technically i met Eduardo on AOL, as well as Wayne, but i did NOT continue any sort of communication in that way...as soon as it went beyond idle chatter i took it to the phone, and then as soon as possible, which was not long in either case, we met.

Dragging out a relationship online under the pretext of "getting to know someone" is a bunch of bologna if you ask me. It is just an excuse fakes or people that are only fantasizing, or people that are too insecure, make to drag you into conversations that they can jerk off to. You cannot get to know someone this way because this is not communication, at least not until after you have met for real. IMO, genuine communication does not begin until you have touched...that is one reason why the first thing we do is shake hands and in other cultures they kiss or embrace. We are energy beings, electrical in function, until the circuit is connected all we can do is relate...we cannot "know".

In addition to that, we can never truly know everything about a person, because we don't even know everything about ourselves. So what is the point in dragging out the crappy boring online part when we can get right into the good stuff...or figure out it is not a match and move on.

i don't get it. i know people do it, even to the extreme of refusing to meet until a certain amount of conversation has taken place or so much time has passed...etc etc...obviously i will never be making friends with those people...no patience...be real or be gone!





_____________________________

It is not how long we have known each other, it is how well.

"Artists have the power, through our imagination, to escape a degenerate world and create a better one." - Infamous

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 9:12:15 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		"Am i the only total fucking whore here??? LOLOLOL...i swear, most of my first meetings ended up with me getting fucked. "

HouseDV8........this would make you my Goddess!!!!!

See, I can respect this honesty.

(in reply to HouseDV8)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 9:22:05 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		I guess the secret is to spread your legs.  That's a NEW one.  go figure

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 9:25:37 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

LoL  Let's over think this some more.  I shower and show up 10 to 15 mins late.

BadOne


I agree that the OP is seriously over thinking the whole thing, but to be honest, if you can't be bothered to show up on time, I can't be bothered to wait for you. My time is just as important as yours. Unless I got a call saying you were running late for a legitimate reason.

Plus if someone was late for our meeting just cause they couldn't be bothered to be one time, I would no longer have the time to be bothered with caring to answer their calls or texts or emails. *shruggs* that's just me.

REgarding the OP

At a first meeting, I'm polite, i expect the other person to be the same. I do not worry about so much BS that I'm going to be a neverous wreck.  The person you are meeting with either  will like you or they won't, not a damn thing you can do about it really. Yes I would be a little nervous but not neurotic about it.

I don;t do the whole "No contact" thing. I would want confirmation the night before or the morning before the scheduled meeting to make sure plans are still on.

I make no "special" mental or physical preperations. I am who I am and that is not going to change, it;s kind of a take it or leave it thing sorry.


_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: First Meeting Behavior. - 3/6/2008 9:28:10 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Nah....just means that I like her honesty and agree that there's no reason to drag out a chat either online or on phone. 

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 60
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