Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Depression has hit


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Depression has hit Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 12:44:12 PM   
RainGod


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline 		SoCalSub1, after reading these last posts of yours, I am inclined to say you need to tell your "dom" to go fuck himself. you live together, but you have to EMAIL your thoughts, questions, and concernes to Him? That's bullshit. The Mod Gods probably will not allow this post to be shown, but if he doesn't have the gonads to allow his submissive some communication, he has no balls at all.

Honey, here's a little tip: Anyone who is afraid of speech has much themselves to hide. That's just how I see it... I could be wrong, but I dont think so.

(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 12:47:02 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

So i said that i was feeling anger inside about not haveing face to face communication. And He got very angry with me and said i thought we resolved this with now communicating through emails. i said yes i'm happy that i have a way of communicating to you but i still feel anger about it. i was told that he will not go through this everyday with me and that if i continue he will just end up taking my collar off.


You are obviously not getting your needs met in this arrangement & the failure to discuss your feelings especially as they seem to becoming harmful to your spirit & relationship seems very odd. In my experience if a sub stated they needed to talk even to get feelings off their chest in what I refer to as a "focus moment' (this is what's going on, how I feel, what I think...what do you think) it is something that should be addressed. Basically sub has come to me & thrown a red flag of hey somethings not right. These are things that should be addressed. Failure to do that, especially threatening to remove a collar for seem over the top. While my instincts are telling me that there is more to this situation than you have outlined, my gut says take off your collar & move on. There are obvious gaps in expectations in this relationship that do not appear that they will change anytime soon.

(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 1:32:01 PM   
Hallittlelolita


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		Hi there you should be able to tell your Master anything and not hide it. you are not supposed to keep anything form your Master. If i was down and feeling depresses i would tell my Master and he would try to fix the problem and try to cheer me up. Are you on medication for your depression? maybe you should make an appt with your doctor and they can give you some samples of Paxil or Wellbutrin i take Paxil and it helps with my depression. Just a thought i am trying to help you and your situation. your master should understand your feelings first and foremost. Another alternative would be to sit down and have a heart to heart with your Master tell him how you feel and be honest about it and you might see that He might understand and trust me will appreciate your honesty. i hope this helps you
Sincerely andie and her Master Hal


(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 1:59:01 PM   
SoCalSub1


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

35 years old and a lesbian.........
I mean I got THAT right, don't I?




No i am straight. i tried to fix it but it wont let me for some reason

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 2:03:29 PM   
SoCalSub1


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hallittlelolita

Hi there you should be able to tell your Master anything and not hide it. you are not supposed to keep anything form your Master. If i was down and feeling depresses i would tell my Master and he would try to fix the problem and try to cheer me up. Are you on medication for your depression? maybe you should make an appt with your doctor and they can give you some samples of Paxil or Wellbutrin i take Paxil and it helps with my depression. Just a thought i am trying to help you and your situation. your master should understand your feelings first and foremost. Another alternative would be to sit down and have a heart to heart with your Master tell him how you feel and be honest about it and you might see that He might understand and trust me will appreciate your honesty. i hope this helps you
Sincerely andie and her Master Hal




having a heart to heart wont help. i just finished speaking with Master over the telephone and He stated that we will not live this lifestyle anymore. i dont know if i can live a 24/7 vanilla anymore but i can try. i will miss the lifestyle so much. i love the lifestyle very much but maybe this isn't His cup of tea.

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 3:55:15 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

having a heart to heart wont help. i just finished speaking with Master over the telephone and He stated that we will not live this lifestyle anymore. i dont know if i can live a 24/7 vanilla anymore but i can try. i will miss the lifestyle so much. i love the lifestyle very much but maybe this isn't His cup of tea.


I have edited this thing a few times now....it's time to stop.

~smilezz~

< Message edited by smilezz -- 9/25/2005 4:43:34 PM >

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 4:13:18 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SoCalSub1


having a heart to heart wont help. i just finished speaking with Master over the telephone and He stated that we will not live this lifestyle anymore. i dont know if i can live a 24/7 vanilla anymore but i can try. i will miss the lifestyle so much. i love the lifestyle very much but maybe this isn't His cup of tea.



OK, I have to ask this: How long have you been with this guy? And then I have to ask WHY you're with this guy? What are you getting out of this relationship? If the man can't even TALK to you, how can you even call it a relationship at all?

I wouldn't put up with that for one second. If a man hasn't got the balls to discuss issues with me, he can hardly be considered a man in my eyes.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 5:01:46 PM   
FLButtSlut


Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SoCalSub1

This morning i was asked what was wrong when i woke up and i was just in a quiet mood. ya know, i just woke up. As the morning progressed and i saw him reading the boards i became angry but kept it to myself. He noticed something was wrong before leaving for work and asked me to tell the truth about what was wrong. So i said that i was feeling anger inside about not haveing face to face communication. And He got very angry with me and said i thought we resolved this with now communicating through emails. i said yes i'm happy that i have a way of communicating to you but i still feel anger about it. i was told that he will not go through this everyday with me and that if i continue he will just end up taking my collar off. This is what i got just for telling him how i feel. i am so sad. Please all forgive me for my saddness on the boards, but i dont know where else to turn.



SoCal, I know you care a great deal about her, but sometimes it just isn't enough to warrant continuing the relationship. While we only have your side here, I am prone to believe you are being honest with us out of sheer need for help on how to handle the situation.

I have to tell you that if your statements above are what happened, my suggestion to you is to take the collar off yourself and walk out on this ignorant bitch you call master. She obviously has communication issues that have nothing to do with you. I might even go so far as to say that she has perhaps sought out an M/s relationship (since you stated you are both new to this) as a means of not having to deal with how her lovers feel about HER inadequecies.

You are new to this, and you gave your heart freely to her. I understand that. But this relationship is not going to be healthy for you if SHE doesn't change.

Communicate only via email? I sometimes find it easier to write a letter to someone about something that I don't feel I can aptly tell them orally in a way that makes sense, but as an only means of communication? You ARE in a face to face relationship, not online. People in relationships TALK to each other. At least those who want it to work do.

Don't ask for anything because then she will do the opposite? Ask her to communicate with only by email, will she then decide to talk to you? This woman is looking for someone to blindly do whatever she wants without question, and she has complete disregard for your feelings.

I say you need to empower yourself, and hand her the collar back yourself. The only other option I see, is telling her that if she will not communicate with you that you are leaving. If she doesn't agree to communicate, leave. No one should tolerate such immature nonsense from anyone. Her behavior is pathetic, and she does not deserve the right to be a master to you.

(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 5:15:31 PM   
Awakener


Posts: 88
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RainGod

SoCalSub1, after reading these last posts of yours, I am inclined to say you need to tell your "dom" to go fuck himself. you live together, but you have to EMAIL your thoughts, questions, and concernes to Him? That's bullshit. The Mod Gods probably will not allow this post to be shown, but if he doesn't have the gonads to allow his submissive some communication, he has no balls at all.

Honey, here's a little tip: Anyone who is afraid of speech has much themselves to hide. That's just how I see it... I could be wrong, but I dont think so.

I feel the same...though I have only heard socalsubs side...but in just a few posts I already hate this guy...

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoCalSub1

having a heart to heart wont help. i just finished speaking with Master over the telephone and He stated that we will not live this lifestyle anymore. i dont know if i can live a 24/7 vanilla anymore but i can try. i will miss the lifestyle so much. i love the lifestyle very much but maybe this isn't His cup of tea.



Little one, this is just become ridiculous. You know what you want. you know what you need. You also I suspect know what you should do. Maybe what you need is just to be told.
Leave and find what you need, or shutup, shutdown, and be a doll.

(in reply to RainGod)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Depression has hit - 9/25/2005 7:09:52 PM   
FLButtSlut


Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Male, female, M/s or vanilla. Do you think going to a vanilla lifestyle is going to turn this into a happy, fufilling relationship?

You have two choices here. You can leave and find someone who WILL give you a happy satisfying relationship, whether it is M/s or vanilla, or you can stay and continue deluding yourself that the feelings you have for this person are returned.

If you choose to stay, I wouldn't recommend complaining about the problems in your relationship because you will have chosen to accept them.

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Depression has hit - 9/26/2005 5:34:29 AM   
NewlyBruised


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/20/2005
Status: offline 		Some one said something in another thread... RUN, RUN FAST and RUN FAR

My Master WANTS to know my thoughts, and everything I think, we talk, about life, each other, family, opinions and anything else on our minds - it's healthy and he needs to know. He considers it part of His duty to ensure His collared pet is happy, healthy, content and completely capable of serving Him how i should... which obviously isn't happening for you and is now being taken away...

Have you been with nimblenuts for long, and was this nilla before? Or is he just calling it quits - ie... going vanilla but still being your Boss? Cuz, to me... that's called overbearing, protective, controlling and scary.

But, since you asked for help here it is - e sounds like he's a controlling, potentially abusive, uncaring twerp that probably isn't going to do you, your health or your state of mind any good at all!

So, as I said... RUN, RUN FAST and RUN FAR

(in reply to FLButtSlut)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Depression has hit - 9/26/2005 11:04:06 AM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SoCalSub1

having a heart to heart wont help. i just finished speaking with Master over the telephone and He stated that we will not live this lifestyle anymore. i dont know if i can live a 24/7 vanilla anymore but i can try. i will miss the lifestyle so much. i love the lifestyle very much but maybe this isn't His cup of tea.



Since when is communication something limited to those living in a M/s or D/s relationship? Would that be any different if your relationship IS vanilla? I may be speaking out of turn here, but from what you have told us in your posts, the problem of communication isn't coming from the kind of relationship you have, but from those in it.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is decide to leave someone you truly care about or love, but realize that there are just some core needs that you have that will not be met, or some specific issues that will not change. I truly sympathize with having to make a decision like this and hope that you are happy with whatever decision you chose to make, be it stay or leave.

Blessed be,
harmony

(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Depression has hit - 9/27/2005 7:02:42 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

This morning i was asked what was wrong when i woke up and i was just in a quiet mood. ya know, i just woke up. As the morning progressed and i saw him reading the boards i became angry but kept it to myself. He noticed something was wrong before leaving for work and asked me to tell the truth about what was wrong. So i said that i was feeling anger inside about not haveing face to face communication. And He got very angry with me and said i thought we resolved this with now communicating through emails. i said yes i'm happy that i have a way of communicating to you but i still feel anger about it. i was told that he will not go through this everyday with me and that if i continue he will just end up taking my collar off. This is what i got just for telling him how i feel. i am so sad. Please all forgive me for my saddness on the boards, but i dont know where else to turn.

Hello There,
I've read in books that Men in general do better with strong conversations if they don't have to stare in your eyes when they talk. I think the fact your Master has permitted you to E-Mail him with how you feel shows me he is trying & he does care. Some people are wired one way and some another. Maybe in his life face to face conversations have a tendancy to become confrontations. I say you should take advantage of the avenue he's offered you instead of taking the my way or the highway approach. If communicating how you feel is your goal I think in writing is a very good option and avenue to communicate.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Depression has hit - 9/27/2005 7:29:04 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		After reading the posts to this discussion, i have a question regarding the 'permission' to e-mail. Will the 'Master' address the issues in the e-mails, or it is simply a way for you to vent and his hope that the issue will then 'go away'?

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Depression has hit - 9/27/2005 10:53:10 AM   
SoCalSub1


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Ok well here is what happened in our new "Vanilla" relationship.


We were "Vanilla" for one day. Master gets into bed and wants to hold a boobie. i say no. Because i can now. LOL!. Master didn't like this because He always gets to hold a boobie when ever he feels like it. Si i say, well a "slave" wouln't say no. Do you miss having your slave. He says in a childlike way "yes". LOL! So i say "Ok then, you can have your slave back under a few conditions"

i get at least one real sit down once a month where i can vent or discuss problems i am having. i can also still do emails if i want to.

i can come to you whenever i am haveing a problem at any time and ask for help and you will lead me in the right direction (when appropriate of course)

And you will do like the twix comercial and say what i wanna hear so that it makes me smile. (when i am feeeling blue but it has nothing to do with you of course, usually at period time.)LOL!

So Master actually pouted for a few minutes but realized that He cannot live without holding the boobie whenever He felt like it.

So He gave in. i am now a happy slave and He calls me a Boobie Blackmailer. LMFAO!

He even yelled out later in the night "THIS WAS TRICKERY". haha

< Message edited by SoCalSub1 -- 9/27/2005 11:47:56 AM >

(in reply to RainGod)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Depression has hit - 9/27/2005 1:17:28 PM   
RainGod


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline 		Concerning "not living this lifestyle anymore":

Folks, I have some serious questions about this, and I am really wondering of it might not require a totally new thread. I have heard so often of people saying "well, I am not going to live the lifestyle anymore." or "I have decided to go back to vanilla". It seems thay had woke up that morning and simply decided to change.

Is it possible? If so, is there something wrong with Me that keeps Me from going back to vanilla? Granted, as I entered D/s at 17, I knew very little about vanilla... but vanilla would appear to be easier in finding a mate. If I could be happy with vanilla, I would have no problem. But I cannot. Sometimes... I have to be honest... sometimes being Dom seems to be a curse. Yet, other times it brings Me total peace and happiness.

Has anyone else ever wanted to leave yet sees it as impossible? Is something wrong with Me?

(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Depression has hit - 9/27/2005 3:38:08 PM   
Awakener


Posts: 88
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline 		Raingod the issue you address definetly needs its' own thread.
Here it is.
The is something wrong with me Dilemma

(in reply to RainGod)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Depression has hit - 9/27/2005 4:03:26 PM   
Angrylibrarian


Posts: 214
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SoCalSub1

Ok well here is what happened in our new "Vanilla" relationship.


We were "Vanilla" for one day. Master gets into bed and wants to hold a boobie. i say no. Because i can now. LOL!. Master didn't like this because He always gets to hold a boobie when ever he feels like it. Si i say, well a "slave" wouln't say no. Do you miss having your slave. He says in a childlike way "yes". LOL! So i say "Ok then, you can have your slave back under a few conditions"

i get at least one real sit down once a month where i can vent or discuss problems i am having. i can also still do emails if i want to.

i can come to you whenever i am haveing a problem at any time and ask for help and you will lead me in the right direction (when appropriate of course)

And you will do like the twix comercial and say what i wanna hear so that it makes me smile. (when i am feeeling blue but it has nothing to do with you of course, usually at period time.)LOL!

So Master actually pouted for a few minutes but realized that He cannot live without holding the boobie whenever He felt like it.

So He gave in. i am now a happy slave and He calls me a Boobie Blackmailer. LMFAO!

He even yelled out later in the night "THIS WAS TRICKERY". haha



You should leave this weakling immediatly.

Just my opinion of course.

(in reply to SoCalSub1)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Depression has hit - 9/27/2005 4:35:20 PM   
RainGod


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline
quote:

Raingod the issue you address definetly needs its' own thread.
Here it is.
The is something wrong with me Dilemma


Thank you, Bro! Cool of You!

(in reply to Awakener)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Depression has hit - 9/28/2005 7:05:23 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RainGod

quote:

If I could be happy with vanilla, I would have no problem. But I cannot. Sometimes... I have to be honest... sometimes being Dom seems to be a curse. Yet, other times it brings Me total peace and happiness.

Has anyone else ever wanted to leave yet sees it as impossible? Is something wrong with Me?


Hello Sir,
I think the opposite is true. To deny yourself the completeness in your sensual expression and think you could be happy that would mean something was wrong with you. I think to settle because you're close would leave you incomplete even in the best of vanilla relationships. To have aching needs go un-fulfilled can haunt you forever, it's a foundation in sand for a lot of us. I think to hold out for what you believe in takes sanity and courage.
I know now that I've been walking in the BDSM realm even the best vanilla lover/ provider wouldn't hold my interest in the slightest.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to RainGod)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Depression has hit Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094