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Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/24/2005 6:48:01 PM

chainedsinner

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/4/2005
Status: offline

i'm fairly new to bdsm altogether; only been in the lifestyle for a year now. i started out as a Dom, but, after awhile, i found that it was more in my nature to be submissive. Anyway, here's my question. Do you ever find that you want to "do away" with some, if not most, of your limits after you've gotten close to a new Dom/me? As though, you worship Them to the extent that you're willing to let Them do as They wish, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you? Or are most subs/slaves strict about their limits?

Post #: 1

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/24/2005 7:54:20 PM

mystictryst

Posts: 125
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I can admit that, for the most part, if Master asked it of me, I'd do it... I also know my Master wouldn't ask me to harm myself or anyone else tho', and wouldn't stray to the absurd or insane (murder, children, or other extremes).

We've been together for many, many years and I know we were together for couple of years before I felt so completely comfortable that I'd put my life totally in his control (meaning reduction in what were hard limits).

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 2

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/24/2005 8:05:46 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedsinner

i'm fairly new to bdsm altogether; only been in the lifestyle for a year now. i started out as a Dom, but, after awhile, i found that it was more in my nature to be submissive. Anyway, here's my question. Do you ever find that you want to "do away" with some, if not most, of your limits after you've gotten close to a new Dom/me? As though, you worship Them to the extent that you're willing to let Them do as They wish, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you? Or are most subs/slaves strict about their limits?

for myself, i've fairly strict about my hard limits, but the rest are open, depending upon the length and strength of the relationship. i'd not necessarily change a limit in the beginnning of a new relationship with a dominant until time with him caused me to feel more comfortable (trust, respect, et al). at that point, i'd be very willing to look at pushing limits if this pleased him and respected my other limits (which include things like not involving children, questionable viability of life continuation, etc.). life is flux, so are lesser limits. for me, i grow with each relationship, and thereby wish, and need, to give more.

< Message edited by girl4you2 -- 9/24/2005 10:00:40 PM >

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 3

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/24/2005 8:18:03 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: girl4you2

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedsinner

i'm fairly new to bdsm altogether; only been in the lifestyle for a year now. i started out as a Dom, but, after awhile, i found that it was more in my nature to be submissive. Anyway, here's my question. Do you ever find that you want to "do away" with some, if not most, of your limits after you've gotten close to a new Dom/me? As though, you worship Them to the extent that you're willing to let Them do as They wish, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you? Or are most subs/slaves strict about their limits?

One of Emerald's post in an old thread came to mind when I read this post.
She used the term "SubFrenzy", that is what this struck me as.
I truly mean no disrespect, but I'm fairly *new* also, yet you admit that
you had taken the roll of Dom at one time. In my humble opinion, I'd suggest
you figure out what *you* want in the big picture, then pick the partner
who offers you the best fit.

Good Luck..........
Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to girl4you2)

Post #: 4

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/24/2005 9:29:53 PM

harmony3709

Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

I think that what you describe is very common and you are not alone in wanting to give so much that you feel you would give up your limits completely. This is just one of the reasons why it is so very important to make sure that you are involved with a dominant that can be trusted to begin with. Hopefully, that dominant will recognize that you are offering everything, especially if you are in the midst of subbie fever, as it was described to me about four years ago, and the dominant will not take advantage of you.

Also, what you may think is a willingness to give up complete control and all limits, that may not be how you react if you were suddenly in a position to prove it.

Blessed be,
harmony

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 5

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/24/2005 9:41:24 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: harmony3709

I think that what you describe is very common and you are not alone in wanting to give so much that you feel you would give up your limits completely. This is just one of the reasons why it is so very important to make sure that you are involved with a dominant that can be trusted to begin with. Hopefully, that dominant will recognize that you are offering everything, especially if you are in the midst of subbie fever, as it was described to me about four years ago, and the dominant will not take advantage of you.

Also, what you may think is a willingness to give up complete control and all limits, that may not be how you react if you were suddenly in a position to prove it.

Blessed be,
harmony

I agree with harmony's comments here. I also think the fact that you're willing to surrender all limits to someone you admittedly don't know well is something you should probably think twice about. It's not completely unheard of, as I know couples who are in successful, long-term "no limits" relationships since barely an hour after meeting, but these individuals had been involved in the lifestyle long enough to know when they'd found their "one."

Sub frenzy does exist. I experienced it myself for just long enough to figure out most of the men I was meeting had no clue what they were talking about.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to harmony3709)

Post #: 6

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/26/2005 5:53:16 AM

NewlyBruised

Posts: 22
Joined: 9/20/2005
Status: offline

The closer i get to Master, the fewer limits we have for one another.

Some remain, but they are more preferences and we frequently discuss and modify our limits. He is incredibly careful not to cross any lines He even THINKS i might have set, because my trust in Him is so important.

That said, He will frequently question my limits and ask for explanations of why i think something is unfavourable. This, as far as i am concerned is part of growing, changing and developing.

Completely abandoning all limits for the pleasure of your Dom might nt be such a hot idea tho.

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 7

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/26/2005 6:25:22 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

ok. i am speaking out of turn.. and probably should keep my mouth shut.

you talk about limits...okayyyyyyyyyy.

here is MY take on it. "I" really do not HAVE limits since i am NOT into s/m of any kind. i have NO fetishes.
i am ONLY into domestics...........BUT i believe if i did have any fetishes and if i did do s/m..i WOULD be the kind that says i would NOT step over MY limits for anyone...

i would-have hard limits where i would refuse to go.

but yeah otherwise...i am just spouting empty words here..
take care
wolfie

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 8

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/26/2005 6:36:05 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Well hard limits no but thats why they are hard limits but other limits will go in time when more trust is given.

Your not exactly going to give your partner your bank card number after a week but give time and you will. S and M is the same theory well to me it is.

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 9

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/26/2005 6:57:15 AM

Evilsgirl

Posts: 25
Joined: 8/5/2005
Status: offline

i have given up just about all of my hard limits with my Daddy,because i know that he would never ask me to hurt myself..therefore my complete trust lies with him...and thus i no longer need to put those there to protect myself from overzealous Masters

Evilsgirl

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 10

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/26/2005 8:54:53 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i'm fairly new to bdsm altogether; only been in the lifestyle for a year now. i started out as a Dom, but, after awhile, i found that it was more in my nature to be submissive. Anyway, here's my question. Do you ever find that you want to "do away" with some, if not most, of your limits after you've gotten close to a new Dom/me? As though, you worship Them to the extent that you're willing to let Them do as They wish, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you? Or are most subs/slaves strict about their limits?

It's all about growth around here. The limits I had when I was new are differant from the limits I have now. Things I said "No Way" to a year or two in the scene are old hat today, with other things taking their place.

It's been my experience that with the right people, I can push my own limits, learn to bottom to new things and explore areas I never would have dreamed of. Not because I was pushed by the top or coerced; but because I developed a trust relationship that allowed me to feel safe and try things with particular people.

So, the short answer is yes. People change and grow and limits shift around.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 11

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/27/2005 1:11:57 AM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedsinner

i'm fairly new to bdsm altogether; only been in the lifestyle for a year now. i started out as a Dom, but, after awhile, i found that it was more in my nature to be submissive. Anyway, here's my question. Do you ever find that you want to "do away" with some, if not most, of your limits after you've gotten close to a new Dom/me? As though, you worship Them to the extent that you're willing to let Them do as They wish, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you? Or are most subs/slaves strict about their limits?

yes i have with Master, for me it took a while before i was truely able to let go of my limitations, in other words, i needed to trust Him first. and beyond

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 12

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/27/2005 6:33:32 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
I also am relatively new to BDSM. I've been in this wonderful lifestyle matrix for six months.
I started dating my Master in March. Initially I had lots of limits and was very vocal in expressing them. Over time, as I grew to trust him, I was willing to try new things. Part of this was due to the bond of trust we'd developed, and some was due to the literature I'd read, presentations I'd been to, and generally increasing my understanding of the art of BDSM play.
My Master found me worthy to wear his training collar in April. I was very honored he also felt a strong connection growing between us to the point he wanted me for his house.
We moved rather quickly after that, and I moved in with him in mid July. In living with him my trust and respect deepened immensely. By mid August I ask permission to switch from his training collared sub to his no limit slave. In my relationship with my Master I was only willing to place no boundaries in front of him due to the strong bond of trust we were developing between us.
I know my Master loves me, respects my body & values my happiness as something that enriches his life. He knows anything he thinks is a lesson for me I'd be willing to learn. He knows I feel his pleasure excites me more than my own does. He knows my body, my mind, and my spirit and doesn't want to make me a prisoner, but rather he is the factor in my life that truly makes me free, liberates me, & enables me to grow.
This is why I choose no limits with my Master, for me it's not that I'm brave or crazy, for me it's a sign to the world of my Masters expertise in showing me his love and skill.

Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 13

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 9/27/2005 7:44:00 AM

LaMspeach

Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline

Yes, as trust was built my limits melted away.

I know from the beginning that my need to please would out weight my needs for limits. That is why it was important from me to find some one with similar limits, wants and needs.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 14

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 1/21/2006 10:58:32 PM

subiekitty

Posts: 34
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

With Master mine are fading, i feel in me a desire to reach the point where i could no more choose to refuse a desire of Master's then i could choose to starve myself to death. i feel that depth in me and though i hit some internal resistance to it i want Master to carry me past it, to wholly belong to Her.

(in reply to LaMspeach)

Post #: 15

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 1/21/2006 11:22:07 PM

doubleLeo

Posts: 50
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

I would hope that our union would become so natural, that it would be hard to really distinguish between where my pleasure began and where theirs ended, and where ours began, and ended, etc..
If two become one in this manner it would very much be like a singular "we" experience, but even in practical terms, my fortune is His also..
His is mine because I am His
dL

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 16

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 1/21/2006 11:26:24 PM

doubleLeo

Posts: 50
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

Wanted to add: Who knows where our future may lead us- my fortune in life may lead me here or there..and I would expect the same of Him.. I would hope that our focus was more on the presence of Us in however we relate.

(in reply to doubleLeo)

Post #: 17

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 1/21/2006 11:38:49 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

I've been active enough to know that I hvae limits that will never change. They are things that will phsycially or emotionally damage me or others and I will never engage in.

I believe it is -critical- to find an owner/property that shares those limits just as I think it's critical to share basic values. I couldn't be with someone that would ask me to violate my morality. My limits are exactly the same.

To that end, I found apartner that share the things I will -not- do, and would not ask me to do them.

Beyond that, because I know we share that basic groundwork, I can be confident that anything he asks of me I can do.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to doubleLeo)

Post #: 18

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 1/22/2006 4:15:00 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

Do you ever find that you want to "do away" with some, if not most, of your limits after you've gotten close to a new Dom/me? As though, you worship Them to the extent that you're willing to let Them do as They wish, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you? Or are most subs/slaves strict about their limits?
===========================

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

kinda sorta iffy maybe-ish
it is one of those..

"i am not into kink myself but if She wants it..who am i to say no?"

so ehh...kinda yeah

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 19

RE: Do any other subs/slaves ever feel this way? - 1/22/2006 5:20:27 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Do you ever find that you want to "do away" with some, if not most, of your limits after you've gotten close to a new Dom/me?

From just my personal experience...yes...limits have a way of completly disappearing after a time

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to chainedsinner)

Post #: 20

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