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RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/9/2008 4:36:37 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer

quote:

Masters can control many things .. but not your heart .. if you love Him .. then love Him.


Truer words were never spoken...


why thank you!



_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
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RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/9/2008 4:44:56 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline
Honestly I think that is a question to ask your heart and your self. Nobody can give you that answer but yourself. Goodluck to you.

_____________________________

Princess Andie


"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to lovelycourtnee)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/9/2008 5:25:29 PM   
FullofShadows


Posts: 18
Joined: 2/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

A little personal "rule" that I like:  Never make a statement that you aren't prepared to hear the response to; never ask a question that you aren't prepared to hear the answer to.

So don't say "I love you" if you are not prepared for his response... whether that is no response at all, or "how nice" or "okay" or "you should know that I will never love you back" or "I don't love you and I think it isn't good for you to be with someone who doesn't love you so our relationship is over."

When you are ready for any possible response, then you are ready to talk about it.

Just my opinion (and $4.50 will get you a machiatto at Starbucks).

Cali


mmmm...Starbucks...

I agree with Cali.

Give yourself time to enjoy.
Your love will still continue to grow...even if you don't say the words.."I Love You"  yet.

Shadows

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/9/2008 5:55:04 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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I struggle with this concept too. What exactly is love and how long does it take to feel it? Women do tend to get emotional quicker than men. My sir says he is slow to feel "love" and takes time to know if it is love. yet, he engages in loving acts. Maybe it is difficult for me because I think if you do "A" than it must be love you feel for me? He says,"no, I would do "A" for anyone I care about." So really, this has left me trying to figure out what these feelings are all about? Analyzing the feelings is good. being able to step back and look at it and figure out whats real and what is brought on my passion is good. Hopefully the analyzing wont take away from feeling in the moment.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to FullofShadows)
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RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/9/2008 6:36:45 PM   
Bound2One


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Joined: 1/11/2008
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Hey, Courtnee.  I'd sit down and have a heart-to-heart chat with him, asking him where he sees the relationship going, perhaps asking if he wishes to expand it to enjoy one another's company more.  I'm not sure if you're saying you meet generally for scening and never have dates like going out to dinner - perhaps you would like to spend more time getting to know the man behind the Dom if you are feeling deeper emotions for him.  Feel him out, see if he's open to it.  Love is certainly 'allowed' in D/s relationships - everyone is different.  Some want it; others do not.  You need to communicate with him to see what he is thinking.  He may well say that he needs more time to see how he feels, in which case you should grant him that time if you've only been seeing one another for a short while.  But you deserve to know how he sees the relationship and if he sees it going further or if he is happy with things just the way they are.

< Message edited by Bound2One -- 3/9/2008 6:37:24 PM >

(in reply to lovelycourtnee)
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RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/9/2008 9:13:42 PM   
BabyDollVanIsle


Posts: 103
Joined: 10/27/2007
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" But then I am meat. He doesn't want meat to be romantic .. He wants meat to be meat"

softness, i am not sure what you mean by that. can you explain?

(in reply to SailingBum)
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RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/9/2008 11:03:12 PM   
candisa


Posts: 127
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline
greetings lovelycourtnee,

Love is a powerful emotion that you should not push away, with out love and being allowed to love what good is there in this world.  If you are unsure about anything, you should be asking your Master first. He will provide you with the answer you seek. Try to remember that how you express your love and how he will express his love, will be different. I think it is all in ones perception of what love is.

_____________________________

respectfully,
candisa

Freely we serve, because we freely love, as in our will
To love or not; in this we stand or fall.



(in reply to lovelycourtnee)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 2:11:40 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline
Hi

my first response would be, why are you asking strangers on an online forum this and not your Master. i love my Master, he is the love of my life and he love me, we are lovers in addition to Master and slave. But not all would want this, perhaps you Master only want a slave, not a girlfriend or perhaps he is thinking the same as you. You must talk to him.

Also there are no the big law of BDSM, D/s and M/s out there, there is no slaves are not allowed to love their Masters, the rules are made in each individual relationship, you can not ask outsiders what is or is not allowed in the relationship you have whit your Master.

So just tell him how you feel and see what he responds to it, if you are not allowed to take the relationship further in that direction, he will let you know, not us on the outside.

i wish you and your Master well.


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to lovelycourtnee)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 2:17:13 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline
Hi

quote:

You want more romantic moments - why? so that you can make yourself love him? thats what i read into it anyways. If you want more of those moments then if you feel you have to then ask, but work out why first.


Eh i do think you have this a little bit backwards, most pepole want to have romantic moments becouse they love somone, not to make them self love somone. Sure in some marriages that try to stay together one try to rekindle feelings whit romance, but most of the time love or at least strong attraction leads to romance, not the other way around.

i wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 3:37:35 AM   
colouredin


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Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovelycourtnee

But I am starting to think that I am in love with Him. And that maybe I want a little more time spent on those little romantic gestures.


Nephandi is was this line that made me question it, it seemed like she wasnt sure if she was in love and she wanted to confirm this, thats just how i read it.


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to lovelycourtnee)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 3:38:50 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Puts you in charge of my fan club.  cuz your all mushy n stuff

BadOne


Makes a few banners and badges , anyone wanna join?

Anyone?

Please

:P


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to SailingBum)
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RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 7:45:05 AM   
Dnomyar


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softness I liked the way you put it.

(in reply to SailingBum)
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RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 7:52:47 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline
fas as i know, there arent any laws on love.
you can love whomever you choose, and if you can do it selflessly, all the better.
wether the other will love you in return, that person is also allowed to love
or not, as they choose.
 

_____________________________

Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 8:05:20 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovelycourtnee

I just created an account after finding out what a wonderful site this is. I am young and have been in a D/s relationship for a short while.
I know that I am unexperienced. I also want to learn everything I can. My Master is older then I am and he is very experienced.
I love the relationship we have with each other. I have never been happier. The whole thing has been a process of finding out who I really am. Although we have our little moments of a typical girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, (i.e hand holding, soft kisses, etc) most of our time together is spent in our D/s roles. Not that I am complaining. But I am starting to think that I am in love with Him. And that maybe I want a little more time spent on those little romantic gestures.
He is a very understanding person, however because I am quite new to everything I am not sure I am even allowed to express this to Him.
Any advice or comments?


Have you considered that even if you express love and even if he reciprocates, romantic affection may not be the way he shows his emotion?

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to lovelycourtnee)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 8:32:52 AM   
charlotte12


Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

But then I am meat. He doesn't want meat to be romantic .. He wants meat to be meat.


Can I put some salt and pepper on you and eat you?

charlotte


_____________________________

Stephan's slaveling

"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 8:45:11 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline
Are you allowed to love him? My answer is yes.  I think you should tell him about this as much as we hope sometimes they are not mind readers.

I tell my Master all the time i love him.  The other day i asked if i told him too much , he said never enough and you always show me. He loves me also and tells me so. 

Matt's littleone

(in reply to charlotte12)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 9:00:33 AM   
Avezes


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Joined: 2/20/2008
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well stated

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 11:03:32 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline
ultimately you are aloud to feel those things the question is are you aloud to express it to Him.

none of us can really answer this question for you as we aren't in your roles as Dominant and submissive and what we are or are not aloud to do or express could be completely different than what your Master allows you as His.

best wishes, and welcome to collarme.

~meticulous~

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 11:15:44 AM   
BBWnNC72


Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline
i will pretty much say what others are saying.  Of course you can loe who you want, but it's telling them that is difficult.  You have to really ask yourself if you are ready to hear the responce.  Also, you can not have a good relationship, D/s, M/s, or vanilla without constructive, level headed, mellow, truthful communication whether it be about bad or good issues.

Hmmm, Starbucks, Frap triple shot, so yummy



_____________________________

huggs and purrs
Brian's kat
a.k.a. "greedy monkey"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.


(in reply to meticulousgirl)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Am I allowed to love my Master? - 3/10/2008 6:55:55 PM   
manwholuvs


Posts: 30
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline
greetings candisa.  I enjoy your perspective.  I too agree that love is something not to be takenly lightly and that yes it is expressed and shown in different ways by different people.  We are human beings and while similar in many respects we have our unique combination of personalities and qualities.  No two are exactly the same.  There are also different degrees and dimensions to our emotions.  We may like something or someone, we may be fond of those things and in some instances we reach a point where that thing or someone becomes so special and important to us that we define our feelings as love.  Something that is given freely and never to be miss used or abused.  I for one welcome love and will gladly and eagerly love one where the connection and bond are true and when that point comes when we have developed our relationship to that level.

_____________________________

Respectfully
Manwholuvs

(in reply to candisa)
Profile   Post #: 40
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