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Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/24/2005 8:54:33 PM   
tommyV


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline 		Where can a guy find a girl for some cyber scenes here at collarme.com? I'm new to BDSM, and am trying to just see what it is like. But I don't know how to get started...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/24/2005 8:59:08 PM   
ChastityLocked


Posts: 173
Joined: 9/16/2005
Status: offline 		well, to be honest, the chat rooms arent that great here. The seperate chats started by others are hit or miss. Most people on here really arent into that type of deal, but ull see on this forum, like me, we love to discuss anything to do with fetishes. So feel free to do so!

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/24/2005 9:02:01 PM   
tommyV


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline 		so where can i find people that are interested?

(in reply to ChastityLocked)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/24/2005 9:06:08 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tommyV

Where can a guy find a girl for some cyber scenes here at collarme.com? I'm new to BDSM, and am trying to just see what it is like. But I don't know how to get started...


If you want to know what BDSM is like, you certainly won't find out in the cyber world!

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/24/2005 9:15:53 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		While you may read some interesting articles and opinions, etc. online, to learn and truly "see what it is like", I would advise attending a munch or a local event and getting out and talking to people.

Blessed be,
harmony

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/24/2005 9:21:08 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tommyV

Where can a guy find a girl for some cyber scenes here at collarme.com? I'm new to BDSM, and am trying to just see what it is like. But I don't know how to get started...


If you want to find out what cyber BDSM is like, there are a multitude of places. However, if you want to find out about BDSM as it is practiced by people who meet in the face to face world, I'd recommend you get some of the many nonfiction BDSM how-to books to start. Three I can recommend are Screw the Roses, SM101 and my own The Loving Dominant. All are available on Amazon and Greenery Press has two of these and a number of other excellent nonfiction books www.greenerypress.com


Once you get a little data, then find a face to face educational or social group or munch near you and join. I strongly recommend immediately volunteering to help; it's a great way to meet people and establish a reputation. A good place to find these groups is www.darkheart.com/usalist.html

Oh, on behavior when you go to a class or social, forget all the porn stories you may have read, forget your orientation and put your fantasies away for a bit. Just behave the way your mother taught you and you won't go wrong.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/24/2005 9:25:36 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		At the risk of starting a flame war, if you REALLY want to find someone, my suggestion is to browse the pro Domme profiles, and see if any of those offer cyber as a choice.

Disclaimer: I don't know IF any Professional dommes offer this, this is just a suggestion.

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/24/2005 9:34:40 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Why do you want to limit your experience to cyber?

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/24/2005 9:41:13 PM   
Halifaxslave


Posts: 32
Joined: 7/16/2005
Status: offline 		Baaa! I hate pro Doms.

Many good people here to learn from, the chats are garbage on the net. I am on many fourms BDSM, hiking, survival, etc. and many fine helpfull people are on them
Chat seems to attract the scum.

Mind you, I do cyber in regular chat rooms to get my rocks off because I am a loser and am not popular with women.

If you want to cyber try chat rooms other than coller me. If you want to learn about BDSM stick with us and learn. www.castlerealm.org and www.sexuality.org are also two great educational sites.

I wish you the best of luck in fulfilling your needs.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 3:40:05 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Cyber ay; it is unusual for someone to set the bar so seemingly low.... I have done it myself but only with subs I was actually enjoying a r/l relationship with at the same time. In that regard it is a bit of light fun, especially when there's distance involved, but I'd never waste my time with a sub who's eyes I've never looked into r/l and in an active D/s atmosphere.... That way, I have personal knowledge into how or what her reactions mean online and can respond accordingly.... And there's r/l "consequences" at a later date if she's enjoying being a bit of brat who's out of reach at the time. lol

You're young and I can understand if you're looking to do this as a means of testing the BDSM water - moreso if you have problems with privacy or from a small town etc.... At least fix your profile as it's incorrect - there's no such thing as a Domme (or anyone else) who can teach you to be a sub. Like being male, you already are or you never will be....

I'd suggest you start out with a bit more sincerity and seek out real people or a relationship. Chances are, you're gonna fall into cyber along the way, anyhow.... And yes, being honest and open about mere cyber is a form of sincerity but it's sooo "wannabe-ish". You get the wrong kind of reputation if that's all you've got or aim for....

Focus51.

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 5:28:43 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		The obvious answer to the question is "search profiles" and find out.

No matter who you contact - read the profiles. Unless a Domme's profile indicates that cyber is something they do, they are NOT going to appreciate being pestered for it.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 5:43:01 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		Hi tommy,

I've seen a few Domme profiles that say "online only" but am not sure if there is a way to search for those terms only.

For those here that are knocking what you choose to experience, many of us got our "start" online and chose to learn and experience the mental aspects of D/s online initially, for a variety of reasons. If that is the way you feel comfortable doing it, then go for it, and don't let anyone else tell you that it's not valid. It's different from real life, but you can still learn some things about yourself and your desires. You get out of it what you put in to it, however.

I wish you luck,
Julie

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 5:46:15 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Try alt.com...

There's a chatroom there called cyberchat or something like that.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 5:51:47 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Hello tommy - welcome to the forum!

You will find that there is definately a class system building in some sections of the BDSM community that suggests one section of people are less important than another. Cyber is one of those.

People tend to see cyber as a form used purely by trolls and geeks. So what if people want to 'get their rocks off' by cybering? Some people use bondage to 'get their rocks of'... caning, rubber - one mans fetish is another mans tool.
And yes, for some cybers a quick fix. For others, it is just that - a fetish.

So those people who rubbish you for chosing a path of cybering, just ignore them as their ability to give positive feedback is flawed by their misunderstanding.

That said, do not be under the impression that you can learn BDSM that occurs in 'realtime' from an online interaction. The whole two subjects are completely different. They are like Roast beef and Yorksire pudding. You can have them together at the same time, or apart at different times of the day - but one is a meat and the other isn't.

If it is real time interation that you are craving, dont get invovled with BDSM online cyber and expect them to be the same. Touch, pain and fantasy fullfillment are very different to fantasy online. Online you can be whatever you want to be - offline, realness will bring you back to earth. But that doesnt mean your fantasy cannot be fulfilled offline.

There are lots of books you can be recommended to get going. The Loving Dominant, SM101, are just a couple to mention. Don't think everyone is your Mistress and dont assume its just about you. Read online too. This forum is particularly good for getting questions answered from different points of view, as long as you are prepared to take a battering every now and then (no one suggested it would be easy) Find a local munch and meet people who are involved in BDSM. Do not jump in head first and just take your time or you may find yourself becoming burnt by the whole experience. Trust your own instincts. Submissive personalities have the ability and right to say no.

If its online you want then go into a chat room. I doubt you will find much in the way of cyber in the forum. Be honest and open about what you are wanting but try to remember not to be selfish. For most people BDSM is about growth, and not selfish endeavours. And above all, be willing to learn and move on. And do what makes you comfortable - don't just follow the crowd.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 7:34:09 AM   
DrkAngl


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/9/2005
Status: offline 		A lot of Dommes I know do not do cyber play as it's very limited to what you can really do as compaired to real life. Also, usually cyber is seen for those that just want to wank off, nothing more. Yes, there are some really into servitude that use cyber because they cannot leave the house for other play, or due to some reason cannot have someone come into their house for play. It varies from person to person really as to what you like and what the Dominant in your life likes. Nothing wrong with it, just different, and like many things...it's not for everyone.

I have read a few ProDomme profiles online that do actually offer cyber as another form of domination, yet it is rather rare also. The reason for choosing a ProDomme could be because some want just a small experience of what BDSM is about before they decide to really get into the lifestlye which is normally a more long term commitment sometimes. And a ProDomme, one well known, might be able to provide references, and there is a more measure of safety there due to it. If it's someone not suggested to you, then you might want to find out more about the Domme before going to them. Safety first.

If you really want to experience BDSM though, I will have to aggree with the other here that have suggested meeting with others in real life and seeing what it's really like.

Cyber, BDSM, is far different than real life and can only provide a small glimpse into things. A lot like cyber because it's an easy way to get off, a good portion really aren't into serving, just getting off, it's also safer. Yes, we have safe words in the real world of play, but in cyber if you don't like what they say well...you merely fake a computer crash. Easy way out. And I think that's one reason it doesn't appeal to a lot. Most of us need real touch anyways. Again, it depends on the person.

Good luck in what you seek.

< Message edited by DrkAngl -- 9/25/2005 7:42:10 AM >

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 7:45:43 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tommyV

Where can a guy find a girl for some cyber scenes here at collarme.com? I'm new to BDSM, and am trying to just see what it is like. But I don't know how to get started...


Have you put this in your profile?

If you did perhaps you'd find partners.

You should also look at the profiles, I think "cyber" was one of the interests you could check but I honestly can't remember. If it is, then you can email those people and see if you have enough in common to do a cyber scene. I still think you need something in common to cyber well.

It think in general it also takes some acting skill and good descriptive writing skills to do cyber well.

Long time ago I did some cyber. It is very hard to find someone with the creativity and descriptive skills to even slightly give me what I want. Mostly what I love is reactions though, face-to-face, skin changing, voice altering reactions and that doesn't really happen with cyber.

I suppose you could have the "latest technology" and do more via the computer but I don't have that and I'm skeptical it would give me what I was looking for.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 9:27:51 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Cyber will not let you know what D/s BDSM is really like. It will however allow you to discuss and fantasize about it.

It seems even on AOL that most of the role playing rooms have died, so it is now very hard to find places for cyber role play. I guess the best way it start reading profiles and see how is into it.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 9:55:37 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline 		Try www.gagtalk.com and choose the "bondage" room. You'll be PM'd immediately and often, and maybe find a cyber buddy eventually.

Personally i see nothing wrong with cyber; i think it's a great place to play out fantasises...but two words of caution:

Once you are ready to meet a Dom in real life, do NOT cyber with Him; you'll never learn anything about Him as a Man if you do.

Second, much as you may feel loved and cared for by your cyber buddy, i would never recommend actually meeting Him. There's way too much sexual tension and expectations between you that probably won't match.

But in the meantime, go for it; beats doing laundry.

pinkpleasures

_____________________________



(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 10:10:50 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Go into Yahoo BDSM chat rooms as a woman. You'll have all the cyber you want.

However, when entereing do NOT troll the room, otherwise you'll just make a bunch of people angry.

Also, it's worth it to buckle down and go to some real life stuff.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Who here IS interested in cyber? - 9/25/2005 10:10:54 AM   
night101owl


Posts: 83
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tommyV

I'm new to BDSM, and am trying to just see what it is like. But I don't know how to get started...


As others have said, cyber play isn't going to show you what BDSM is like. It's only going to show you what cyber play is like.

Several years back, when I was exploring cybersex, I found a lot of people to play with in the Yahoo adult chat rooms. Don't know if they're even still there, but I occasionally found fun BDSM-themed cyber play there. Good luck finding out about cyber, if that's your goal. If your goal is to find out about BDSM, I hope you'll take some of the suggestions here to heart.

(in reply to tommyV)
Profile   Post #: 20
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