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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:28:08 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

politecali wrote:

My dear, I don't know if there's a Dear Abby in KinkLand, but you may have just stole her crown.

LMAO Level. Don't make me say it again (please).

Cali

Heh heh......

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:37:53 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I get so gooey

Now, that would make a great sig line.

quote:

politecali wrote:

Now just shaddup and go give him a blowjob.

My dear, I don't know if there's a Dear Abby in KinkLand, but you may have just stole her crown.

My thoughts exactly! Brava!

Seriously LL,
You have to remember one thing about men. There is usually not any hidden meaning to what they say. It just is.. There is no doubt this man is falling for you.
It seems to me that he is trying very hard to be as careful as he can to make sure it is the right thing (for both of you). He is taking care of your heart as well as his own.
How do you know when you are in love?
For me, it's when I am wrapped in his arms, burying my face in his chest , just inhaling his scent and feel the weight of the world floating away...
When he is the first person I want to tell my good news to. and the first person I want to talk to when I am feeling sad..
When I feel safe enough to cry in front of him..

Now, that all being said. Don't overthink this, cuz you'll drive yourself nuts.. Take Cali's advice already and get on your frigging knees!! *smile*

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:41:23 PM

kallisto

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Now, that all being said. Don't overthink this, cuz you'll drive yourself nuts.. Take Cali's advice already and get on your frigging knees!! *smile*

I agree wholeheartedly.

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:44:27 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I get so gooey

Now, that would make a great sig line.

quote:

politecali wrote:

Now just shaddup and go give him a blowjob.

My dear, I don't know if there's a Dear Abby in KinkLand, but you may have just stole her crown.

My thoughts exactly! Brava!

Seriously LL,
You have to remember one thing about men. There is usually not any hidden meaning to what they say. It just is.. There is no doubt this man is falling for you.
It seems to me that he is trying very hard to be as careful as he can to make sure it is the right thing (for both of you). He is taking care of your heart as well as his own.
How do you know when you are in love?
For me, it's when I am wrapped in his arms, burying my face in his chest , just inhaling his scent and feel the weight of the world floating away...
When he is the first person I want to tell my good news to. and the first person I want to talk to when I am feeling sad..
When I feel safe enough to cry in front of him..

Now, that all being said. Don't overthink this, cuz you'll drive yourself nuts.. Take Cali's advice already and get on your frigging knees!! *smile*

Thats what I think too. I did have a talk with him last night letting him know the things he was doing were making me emotional. he gave the same warnings as always but said he is not running away. The one thing I said was.
" I dont want us to be so cautious and analyzing that we are not able to feel or appreciate what is happening when its happening."

I just dont want years down the line to be like, yea we were falling in love but we were too busy guarding ourselves to appreciate the feeling.

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 8:17:23 PM

chickpea

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It's great you found this special someone. If it's going in the direction you hope, who knows it's up to him. At least he let you know. It's also great that you feel something special for him. And it might be hard if it's not reciprocated or in the way you want. I think sometimes men express themselves differently. In the meantime just be good to yourself and if it still doesn't happen that he reciprocates, then maybe you'll stop feeling what you're feeling and someone else will make you feel what you're feeling. You know, worst case scenario. I just think you should focus on what you can do, and to better yourself in other areas of your life in the interim of "waiting". I guess sometimes it's hard not to peruse about these these, i know. But you gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe a word of caution about focusing too much on the feelings of love and not the person causing these feelings of love. He is human after all. Love is not selfish about what feelings are present in me and it's nice that I feel this way, or is it about pleasing other people in your life (your significant other, parents, friends), or living up to an image of gone with the wind...Love is opening up to another person, enjoying him, and allowing him to cause these beautiful feelings in you. ...letting these feelings and these actions evolve and watching them, experiencing them, immersing yourself in them and moving forward in them. Perhaps something between you two is created a bond that is greater than the two of you as individuals could ever create on your own.

But as far as what love is...a feeling or not? I think love is more than just a fleeting short-lived feeling. love is chemistry, love is actions, love is trust, love is non-judgemental/love is acceptance (knowing the other person's good and bad traits and not caring about the bad traits enough to let them prevent you from loving him overall), and love is sharing, love is more than just admiration or liking, it is devotion of one's life and heart to some chosen special person, the one. I think love evolves as you get to know someone. Initially, it's all about the fleeting feelings of happiness and excitement when you see you've met someone special. Then you build upon that with trust when you get to know the person more, doing things together, kicking their tires, support, etc.. If the people are right, the timing is right, and the actions are right, then the feeling of connection develops and lasts longer than the initial fleeting feelings of happiness. The love feeling of connection helps relationships survive periods when the fleeting feeling of happiness isn't there. Then after the feeling of connection, and you feel like you can structure your life around this person in deeper ways, letting them in your life completely, then devotion develops. Doing normal day to day stuff that isn't necessarily the super-nice things that were done initally but are done because it's part of life and you're part of his life now permanently. I'm just getting this from a Psychology of Love class I took back in college... this love comes in stages and evolves into different things at different stages of a relationship. Think the love being something that changes and the stages theme kept coming up in the class.

But yeah, the stages evolve naturally and change for different couples, like if you have more sex initially women will get hung faster, or if the girl is a model the guy will get hung faster (just kidding hehe). For each stage, the process shouldn't be rushed. You may get initially excited that this person is super special and could possibly be the one, but you cannot short cut these stages (love is like a cookbook recipe, you need the right ingredients and the right timing, and a proper way to cook..... speed or results should not be expected immediately and can spoil the entire meal). So step back and enjoy the process!

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 8:23:55 PM

CalifChick

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Wayyyyyy overthinking.

Cali

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 8:29:01 PM

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Yeah, the consensus is "more blowing".

lucious, I hope your fella appreciates us for all the action he's going to get. A gift certificate would be nice....

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 9:15:37 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Wayyyyyy overthinking.

Cali

Yes, but really profound...

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 9:53:53 PM

MstrssScarlet

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From: Indianapolis, Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

But as far as what love is...a feeling or not? I think love is more than just a fleeting short-lived feeling. love is chemistry, love is actions, love is trust, love is non-judgemental/love is acceptance (knowing the other person's good and bad traits and not caring about the bad traits enough to let them prevent you from loving him overall), and love is sharing, love is more than just admiration or liking, it is devotion of one's life and heart to some chosen special person, the one. I think love evolves as you get to know someone. Initially, it's all about the fleeting feelings of happiness and excitement when you see you've met someone special. Then you build upon that with trust when you get to know the person more, doing things together, kicking their tires, support, etc.. If the people are right, the timing is right, and the actions are right, then the feeling of connection develops and lasts longer than the initial fleeting feelings of happiness. The love feeling of connection helps relationships survive periods when the fleeting feeling of happiness isn't there. Then after the feeling of connection, and you feel like you can structure your life around this person in deeper ways, letting them in your life completely, then devotion develops. Doing normal day to day stuff that isn't necessarily the super-nice things that were done initally but are done because it's part of life and you're part of his life now permanently. I'm just getting this from a Psychology of Love class I took back in college... this love comes in stages and evolves into different things at different stages of a relationship. Think the love being something that changes and the stages theme kept coming up in the class.

VERY well written! I'll bet you got an A in that class! (And I couldn't agree more.)
Mistress Scarlet

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 10:05:38 PM

RedHotAndSoSexy

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Here is my take on it, and it is cynical, so warning if you only like rose colored answers.

I have been in love 5 times in my life. I have been with far more men and had more relationships than that, but LOVE, just 5. I have had more than 5 people in love with me, where I did not return it.

In each case of the 5 real love relationships, I did not pursue anything with these guys, I did not go overboard analyzing anything, I just fell into and they fell first. That was fun and heady and wonderful and no one had to discuss our "feelings". We just knew we had to be with each other. Some love relationships are based on passionate sex, some are based in friendship, whatever, I just knew.

The last time I fell in love was 10 years ago.

Nowadays....and at my age, I find men and women just cannot help but analyze everything about a budding relationship. Just 2 weeks ago, I met someone here. He is nice, but does not float my boat. He is already declaring intense feelings. I am turned off by his expression of feelings. He keeps analyzing everything; it bores me. If I was madly in love with him, we would not be having that discussion.

There is too much analysis going on when dating these days and that is why it is such a bitch.

I will maintain forever though, that you just know you are in love and you know if your partner is. If you have ever felt the real thing, you just know and do not mistake kindness or good deeds for being in love.

There are different levels of love as well. Just be happy you found someone nice who you can deal with.

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 10:30:41 PM

Kirata

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

have you said a gesture was no big deal, when in actuality looking back on it it really was a gesture of love?

Yes

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

how did you know that you were in love with a women that you were seeing?

See above.

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 3/9/2008 11:06:48 PM >

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 10:43:46 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

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quote:

When he is the first person I want to tell my good news to. and the first person I want to talk to when I am feeling sad..
When I feel safe enough to cry in front of him..

Ditto

julia

< Message edited by SinergyNstrumpet -- 3/9/2008 10:44:06 PM >

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 11:09:17 PM

BabyDollVanIsle

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lucious.. sometimes someone who falls in love very quickly falls out of love just as quickly.

someone who is good to be with and reliable and does sweet things and admits takes a long time to develop love and strong feelings, sounds totally hot to me.

i think you should just continue enjoying.. and i will take my own advice.

i have been quite excellent, really... i have been quite enjoying my Dom and not feeling it necessary to have any 'talks' (except the one time he put himself down to me one to many times, and i gave him a lecture about not giving himself enough credit for being really special and attractive).

in fact, i was going around in such blissful ignorance & living in the moment.. he started initiating 'talks' to make sure i was taking things seriously! complaining i wasn't putting in the same effort towards thinking of how to develop the relationship!

for me that is huge progress... to NOT be trying to guide and control the direction of the relationship... to give up control and walk around with a happy empty head...

< Message edited by BabyDollVanIsle -- 3/9/2008 11:10:16 PM >

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/10/2008 2:44:58 AM

eyesopened

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Seriously LL,
You have to remember one thing about men. There is usually not any hidden meaning to what they say. It just is..

Now, that all being said. Don't overthink this, cuz you'll drive yourself nuts.. Take Cali's advice already and get on your frigging knees!! *smile*

You've gotten the best advice.... Don't Overthink!!

If he fixes your computer and says he'd do it for any of his close friends, consider yourself someone he sees as a close friend. That is a GOOD thing! If he gives you a key to his place.... he trusts you completely! That is a GOOD thing! He wants to be with you several days out of the week. That means he enjoys your company. That's a GOOD thing.

It sounds like the only reason you are so anxious for some sign that he's IN love with you is so you can express your love for him. Why wait? What's the worst that can happen? That he doesn't love you back? In any event, you may be focusing too much on a destination and by doing so, missing out on the journey itself. Once again.... Stop overthinking!

< Message edited by eyesopened -- 3/10/2008 2:58:08 AM >

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/10/2008 2:46:22 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

So I have been told by my Sir that he is loyal but slow in the development of his felings of love. We have a romantic relationship thats passionate and honest. we communicate well. its all good. we have been seeing each other, bf/gf and Dom/sub for about 4 months. typical seeing each other twice a week, and some weekends together. me having a key to his place and all that typical stuff that happens with relationships. He says that women tend to get emotional quicker than men. Maybe most men,perhaps not all? His attitude toward the slow development of feelings has kept my feet firmly planted on the ground. analyzing breaking it down, not allowing myself to mistake passion for love. however, he has done some touching things that he says he would do for any close friend he cares about, but I find completely touching. So much so that it has had me feeling more for him emotionally.
So i guess i have a couple of questions for you manly men- strong Masters. One, have you said a gesture was no big deal, when in actuality looking back on it it really was a gesture of love? Two, as a man how did you know that you were in love with a women that you were seeing? Vanilla girfriend or sub? What were defining moments for you?

when I can't stop thinking about her...and when the thoughts make me smile

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/10/2008 3:20:08 AM

blissy

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if when He/she says goodbye it makes you just cant bring yourself to believe it is over..then you know it 'was' love. lol

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/10/2008 3:35:53 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: blissy

if when He/she says goodbye it makes you just cant bring yourself to believe it is over..then you know it 'was' love. lol

lol yes...sometimes you know how important things are when they are gone, not before.

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/10/2008 5:05:57 AM

Dnomyar

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Cali chick I think I love you. Luscious I agree with Cali your over thinking it. Here is a test for you. Sit up straight and see if he looks into your eyes.

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/10/2008 5:29:38 AM

BabyDollVanIsle

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unless of course you are deliberately/innocently/accidently wearing something designed so he doesn't look in your eyes when you wear it sitting up straight...

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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/10/2008 6:39:45 AM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Cali chick I think I love you.

Well of course you do, darlin.'

quote:

Sit up straight and see if he looks into your eyes.

After the blowjob, AFTER.

Cali

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