MizSuz
Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tigresss I do not understand how relationships have become solely dependant on feelings being present? Tigresss: You've got some wonderful responses regarding the rest of your questions. I'd like to address this particular part of the first question because, for me, it's an important issue. I have long said that somehow over the years our contemporary society has come to believe that love is an emotion. Perhaps with the advent of self help, trying to bring men out emotionally, dealing with repressed emotions, etc., we have (as a society) come to think of the emotion as one of the most important aspects in a relationship. I disagree vehemently. Perhaps I am too familiar with the endocrine system and the ability to manipulate emotions through the manipulation of physical and psychological systems; but to me emotion is predominantly a biochemical response to either physical manipulations (comparable to someone experiencing 'subspace' from a flogging) or due to psychological stimulus (imagine someone saying something that is a trigger for you and having a rush of anger from it). It seems that most people I've spoken to refer to 'love' as a noun, a thing. For me that makes no sense. For me, love is a verb. It must be in action, it must be in giving and receiving that we experience love or it is simply emotional response. I'm not saying the emotion is an invalid part of the love dynamic, I'm saying that emotion is a manipulable and changing thing and therefore not a good enough reason for me to base life choices on (neither my emotion nor the emotion of someone else). Someone who will keep their commitments after the emotion has changed, or waned, is someone I can respect and believe in; but the keeping of those commitments, to me, is love in ACTION (verb). Emotions change and can be made to change. Commitments and the keeping of them are choice and therefore have much more value to me. To bring this notion back around, when people fall in love online are they not simply caught up in their emotions of the moment? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is a bad thing...in fact for many it's a very powerful thing. I'm also not saying that someone whose commitments made online are invalid because many people make and keep commitments to online relationships to one degree or another (that's what makes them valid for me). How many people do we all know who have 'fallen in love' online, with the depth of emotion they have rarely experienced before, only to find later that the person they fell in love with doesn't even really exist other than in their own mind and belief? Emotions are wonderful, powerful things, but for me they are a poor foundation for making personal life choices. It's a very small (and changing) part of the total package. Love in action, as a verb, is what I value. ymmv
< Message edited by MizSuz -- 7/16/2004 5:07:16 AM >
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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.” - Robert Heinlein
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