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Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 12:35:09 PM   
SirKnottynNice


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: My mind to Y/yours
Status: offline 		I read once at another BD/SM forum...

quote:

Mind fucks, I love mind fucks.
Like telling a subbie to scrub the toilet with her toothbrush, and while she's doing it whisper in her ear "you're going to use it when your done."


I'm sadistic & I like humiliation play, but c'mon!
There is line drawn somplace.

Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks?
Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"?

Be well

_____________________________

your ass would look cute red

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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 1:08:16 PM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline 		It can go both ways. I didn't see the referenced post in context, but it would seem to me that the humiliation factor of "whispering in her ear" would not equate to making her actually use it.

Some people get off on this stuff. It can be very powerful. A one componant of intimacy is finding each other's vulnerabilities. Humiliation is one way to get there.

In situations like the one above, it was a scene. Saying certain things in a scene (a safe-space) is different from common degradation which IS unhealthy. Just like "beating someone with a stick" can be damaging in the regular world or without concern and consent, it can be a fabulous sensual caning within our safe-spaces and proper negotiations and familiarity with each other. When we play with humiliation, we need to follow the rules of respecting limits, but knowing where there is a desire for growth.

It can be a razors edge, and is not for the inexperienced or insincere. Growth and damage, unfortunately look surprisingly similar at times. The context, the motivations, and the people are what make the difference.

I highly recommend looking up a workshop by Fetish Diva Midori called "Erotic Humilation" or something similar. She has a fabulous way of explaining this and how to do it in an affirmative way.

Purr

(in reply to SirKnottynNice)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 1:38:54 PM   
SirKnottynNice


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: My mind to Y/yours
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPurrmeow

It can go both ways. I didn't see the referenced post in context, but it would seem to me that the humiliation factor of "whispering in her ear" would not equate to making her actually use it.
**Forgive me, I did forget to mention that He did state "I wouldn't *actually* make her do it."
I thought "Well, I would hope not!"lol

Some people get off on this stuff. It can be very powerful. A one componant of intimacy is finding each other's vulnerabilities. Humiliation is one way to get there.

In situations like the one above, it was a scene. Saying certain things in a scene (a safe-space) is different from common degradation which IS unhealthy. Just like "beating someone with a stick" can be damaging in the regular world or without concern and consent, it can be a fabulous sensual caning within our safe-spaces and proper negotiations and familiarity with each other. When we play with humiliation, we need to follow the rules of respecting limits, but knowing where there is a desire for growth.

It can be a razors edge, and is not for the inexperienced or insincere. Growth and damage, unfortunately look surprisingly similar at times. The context, the motivations, and the people are what make the difference.

I highly recommend looking up a workshop by Fetish Diva Midori called "Erotic Humilation" or something similar. She has a fabulous way of explaining this and how to do it in an affirmative way.

Purr


I thank You for Your input, It was very well thought out , & well said.

Be well

_____________________________

your ass would look cute red


(in reply to MsPurrmeow)
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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 1:47:26 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		The wet panty thing on ask a Mistress. AAkasha did not go far enough.........

Depends on mind fuck.......

If you take that to mean that you will live in a lose/win constantly......


NO.




The question to answer in this place is....

How can that possibly be true?

I hope John Warren talks on this.......

He can really speak to this subject.

Ron



_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to SirKnottynNice)
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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 2:01:09 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
I hope John Warren talks on this.......

He can really speak to this subject.


I think MissPurrMeow did a fine job. Let's remember that the purpose of mindfucks is to keep a reasonable degree of safety present when the people who are playing need an illusion of danger to season their play

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 2:21:11 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		For me, if it invovles a phobia, it is NOT a good thing. If someone were to make me really believe that s/he was going to do something that I am phobic about or is a limit (my limits are things I cannot do. Period. I don't do the soft limit/hard limit thing) I would lose a LOT of trust in them.

One reason I trust my partner is that I know he'd do nothing to damage me. If he were to work hard to make me believe he would, that wouldn seriously da age that trust

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 2:43:23 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I'm sadistic & I like humiliation play, but c'mon!
There is line drawn somplace.


That line is to be determined by the adults before they begin to play together. Plain and simple. It is for no one else to judge.

quote:

Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks?
Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"?


I love mind fucks. I make sure they stay within the realm of what I know my partner can deal with.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SirKnottynNice)
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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 3:09:27 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

For me, if it invovles a phobia, it is NOT a good thing. If someone were to make me really believe that s/he was going to do something that I am phobic about or is a limit (my limits are things I cannot do. Period. I don't do the soft limit/hard limit thing) I would lose a LOT of trust in them.

One reason I trust my partner is that I know he'd do nothing to damage me. If he were to work hard to make me believe he would, that wouldn seriously da age that trust


Since you replied to my post, and that post was fairly short, I wonder how you missed the "when people who are playing need" in "Let's remember that the purpose of mindfucks is to keep a reasonable degree of safety present when the people who are playing need an illusion of danger to season their play."



_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to perverseangelic)
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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 3:18:17 PM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline 		Love em, do em, and will keep on doing em...............

(in reply to JohnWarren)
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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 3:19:55 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKnottynNice

I read once at another BD/SM forum...

quote:

Mind fucks, I love mind fucks.
Like telling a subbie to scrub the toilet with her toothbrush, and while she's doing it whisper in her ear "you're going to use it when your done."


I'm sadistic & I like humiliation play, but c'mon!
There is line drawn somplace.

Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks?
Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"?

Be well


Not only is it acceptable, I find it exciting and terrifying at the same time. But I'm one of those who really gets into that suspension of disbelief, and fear is an enormous turn-on for me. And there are just so many thousands of different ways to mindfuck someone!

I even managed to mindfuck myself a couple times, and was embarrassed about it afterwards, but it was actually rather amusing.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to SirKnottynNice)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 4:38:06 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKnottynNice

I read once at another BD/SM forum...

quote:

Mind fucks, I love mind fucks.
Like telling a subbie to scrub the toilet with her toothbrush, and while she's doing it whisper in her ear "you're going to use it when your done."


I'm sadistic & I like humiliation play, but c'mon!
There is line drawn somplace.

And luckily where I draw the line in my relationship has nothing to do with how you feel.

quote:

Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks?
Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"?

Be well

I think they are amazing awesome and intense and that few people know how to really do it well.

The top I played with last night and I had a laugh over the fact that he wanted part of the scene to be cutting my dress off and screaming at me how I was so pathetic I didn't deserve to wear such a pretty thing. But we both knew that wouldn't be taken positively in a public scene and thus wouldn't be good to do in public.

But it's still really hot for us and something we enjoy wallowing in.

(in reply to SirKnottynNice)
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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 5:22:15 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev

Love em, do em, and will keep on doing em...............


Yes! What he said...lol

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to WickedKev)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 6:29:18 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


Since you replied to my post, and that post was fairly short, I wonder how you missed the "when people who are playing need" in "Let's remember that the purpose of mindfucks is to keep a reasonable degree of safety present when the people who are playing need an illusion of danger to season their play."




I didn't.

I simply hit "reply" which replies automatically to the last post in the thread.

I was responding to the OP in general, not to the comments you made, which I aggreed with.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 6:58:30 PM   
realophelia


Posts: 168
Status: offline
quote:

Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks?
Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"?


I think they can be a lot of fun. Ophelia

_____________________________

"And every one of them words rang true And glowed like burning coal Pouring off of every page Like it was written in my soul..."

(in reply to SirKnottynNice)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 7:28:23 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic


quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


Since you replied to my post, and that post was fairly short, I wonder how you missed the "when people who are playing need" in "Let's remember that the purpose of mindfucks is to keep a reasonable degree of safety present when the people who are playing need an illusion of danger to season their play."




I didn't.

I simply hit "reply" which replies automatically to the last post in the thread.

I was responding to the OP in general, not to the comments you made, which I aggreed with.


Given the threading system in place, it would be better then to bring up the original post and make your reply from there.



_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to perverseangelic)
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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 7:56:49 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


Given the threading system in place, it would be better then to bring up the original post and make your reply from there.




Mostly I do. I figure someday collarme will make it such that hitting "reply" doesn't add a "in reply to"

~shrug~

I appologize for being confusing.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to JohnWarren)
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RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 8:09:56 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		It really depends on how far you take it, and how often. Limits are different for different people. Always be careful of the classic warning signs that you might have taken things a bit too far, though. (Withdrawal, losing interest in usual activities, dramatic behavior or appearance changes, etc). Mindfucks can be a wonderful experience if used properly. Exercise caution and caring, and they can be a valuable tool.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to SirKnottynNice)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 8:13:23 PM   
HYPNOTIC1948


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		IN WHAT FRAME OF MIND CAN A PERSON BE IN THAT LIKES TO PLAY WITH S**T - I NEVER HEARD OF THIS BUT WAS TOLD BY A FRIEND THAT THERE ARE THOSE THAT DO THIS! (yuk, barf, poo, wretch grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 8:16:45 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HYPNOTIC1948

IN WHAT FRAME OF MIND CAN A PERSON BE IN THAT LIKES TO PLAY WITH S**T - I NEVER HEARD OF THIS BUT WAS TOLD BY A FRIEND THAT THERE ARE THOSE THAT DO THIS! (yuk, barf, poo, wretch grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

It's always so good to have people respect other peoples desires and kinks.

(in reply to HYPNOTIC1948)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? - 9/25/2005 8:30:44 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I don't believe in mindfucks because they're fake. If I whispered something like that into someone's ear, it would be true.

(in reply to SirKnottynNice)
Profile   Post #: 20
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