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Cathartic BDSM - 9/25/2005 4:25:32 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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Wow - Another FANTISTIC Folsom Fringe & Folsom Street Fair. It's still happening. We just stopped back at the hotel to re-charge and thought we'd share a question that arose during the Fringe presentations.

It's often discussed that a BDSM relationship, especially from a bottom or submisive's perspective, should not have a goal of purging past trauma. I've seen, and agreed with the position, that a sub should not get involved looking to alleviate guilt or any emotional baggage. Yet, at two different presentations we attended two subs, one a homosexual male, the other a bi-sexual female, related cathartic experiences within a heavy BDSM scene. They both commented on how they came out of the experience feeling like a great burden had been lifted. They both considered the experience "spiritual".

Neither said they went into the relationship seeking some cathartic purge, yet it occurred, and it was good and healthy. I think that could be a distinction. If you have feelings of sexual guilt, or homosexual attraction I still don't think that you should point to BDSM as a source of "penance"; but you can't deny in these two cases at least it was a holistic "cure".

What do you think? We're heading back to the street fair, and look forward to your comments.

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RE: Cathartic BDSM - 9/25/2005 4:35:17 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Having a good cathertic scene is hardly the same as deciding to work through serious childhood trauma through S&M.

Catharsis is half the reason people do punishment things at all, to allow the sub to work through the issue and move on.

I think catharsis in bdsm is very natural and can be a fabulous outlet, it certainly has been for me. But it's not the same as undertaking therapy, which isn't something I recommend any dom off the street attempt.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: Cathartic BDSM - 9/25/2005 4:35:58 PM

mnottertail

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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Who cares if your life is built of Tarot cards if it works?

Just as good a reason or fairy tale as any......

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Cathartic BDSM - 9/25/2005 7:27:07 PM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
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I would discourage any one from trying BDSM as therapy, having said that, during my intensive training as a submissive I experienced an emotional healing. I didn't ask for it, I didn't expect it, it just happened. Fortunately it was in a private dungeon with two Dom/mes who knew what they were doing and allowed the healing to take place. They hadn't gone into the scene thinking about "fixing" any problems I might have, it was just a part of my training, the healing was a surprise to all of us.

As a Domme, I don't expect catharsis, I don't take my problems into a scene, I have beaten the crap out of a futon with a flogger to blow off steam, but never a human.

I still bottom occasionally, catharsis is a big reason why, I discuss it with the Top first and make sure they are someone I would trust with my life. If they aren't comfortable doing catharsis with me, I respect that.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

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RE: Cathartic BDSM - 9/25/2005 7:50:51 PM

switchmale79

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Well, what I've noticed is that oftentimes working through ones "demons" by using activities related to BDSM is actually just as likely, if actually not more likely, to be effective. Just as going out for a run, or having drinks, or talking on the phone can be therapeutic in working out one's problems. My guess is that doing anything that takes our minds away from obsessing on the problem will inevitably provide some emotional relief, even if only momentarily, until our minds return to that original problem that was bothering us. The danger is that it can become a crutch. In other words, we transform into drunks or exercise addicts to avoid fully confronting and facing up to the problem. And BDSM can very much function in that fashion. So in the end, it all turns on the question of whether we are in control of ourselves--whether we are masters of our own emotions. Unfortunately, there is no blanket answer when it comes to whether BDSM will ultimately help or merely a temporary diversion to ease and soothe our minds if only for a while. Like most things, not to fall into cliches, but moderation and control are the safest ways to approach it. It helps in the beginning with the most anguishing of hurts and emotional pain, but then it no longer provides the same emotional "shot in the arm" so to speak, and at that point we must stop and reflect on what else we need.

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RE: Cathartic BDSM - 9/26/2005 10:58:59 AM

prettyfellowme

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Joined: 9/15/2005
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Duh, I thought it meant inserting a cathater. hehehe Have fun.

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