SteelofUtah
Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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quote:
ORIGINAL: urperfectmatch
The Master/slave relationship is one built on trust. But, is that trust suppose to be one sided? Is the slave suppose to just accept what her Master says as the absolute truth? Is she suppose to just blindly accept everything he says? When is it alright to question him? And in doing so do you step outside the bounds of the Master/slave relationship? As nice as the notion is of a Master and slave relationship, reality does not truly support it. Simply, because you have to deal with each other as people too. If I can not ask him where he was for hours, then that is simply going to fester. I am still a human being and I cannot totally surpress the side of myself that cannot accept everything he say without question. And once that trust is broken, once he lies. How do you ever get that back? Or is it a lost cause?
Looks like I get to piss people off with my view of trust now.
Please forgive the things I am going to say as they do not need to apply to you I am simply speaking on how they apply to me.
First part I want to discuss is the first part I highlighted.
If I can not ask him where he was for hours, then that is simply going to fester.
This is something that in my opinion should never be an issue because things like this should have been discussed LONG before he ever became your Master. An Understanding needed to be made about your desire to ask questions and the limits he would place on those questions should have been stated and agreed to BEFORE the collar was placed.
In a 24/7 TPE which I would assume this is because it is the only way being gone for hours would matter, I wish to state that my girl can always ASK where I have been, however I withhold the right NOT to tell her. Now there are always two choices I can never take away from her and That is the choice to Obey or the Choice to LEAVE. Is not knowing worth Leaving?
In a recent Thread I talked about the "Run Don't Walk" concept in these boards and threads, this is not the same thing. I own my girl but she is free to leave at any time but the choice to do so is hers and hers alone I cannot choose that for her unless I choose to release her, however the purpose of Obey or Leave means that either she does one or she has chosen to do the other. This sounds rather Harsh but you need to see it lenght wise.
With this concept I have to give her reasons to stay. Knowing that she can leave at any time I need to show her what I do for her, I need to show her the EXCHANGE part of the Power Exchange. I need to show her the life that I offer her and as she becomes comfortable in that life I expect more and more from her. To a point that what I request although she may not wish to do it is still more attractive than leaving. This is the concept of surrender that I subscribe too. If I ask something that is Not worth more than her leaving is I still expect it done and if she chooses to leave it will be her decision completely.
Now no one is saying that these decisions would be easy but it is the agreement we had LONG before a collar ever entered the deal, before the collar she had none of these requirements, instead she followed them showing me that she WANTED to and then once the collar went on it became something she already understood.
The Second Part of your Post mentions TRUST
**This is the part that I am sure will meet with issues**
And once that trust is broken, once he lies. How do you ever get that back?
Simple Answer it is IMPOSSIBLE to get Trust Back. Once it is LOST it can NEVER be gained. Also Trust is not something that is Earned it is something that is simply given as just as it cannot be gained back someone cannot ever do something that can instill trust n someone. A Person can simply decide that someone is worth thier trust.
Prime Example:
I Steal your wallet and Take all the money and you discover this and for some reason choose NOT to throw me out of your life completely.
I Vow NEVER to do this to you again and you forgive me.
A Year Passes and I have never done ANYTHING like that again.
One day you realize you left your wallet on my coffee table and when you come and get it you think there is less money in it then was there when you left it.
Where does your brain go first when the finger needed to be Pointed?
In the back of your mind I will always be the Thief that stole your Money.
Some things can NEVER be undone.
This same excercise can be applied to ANY trust issue.
The real problem comes when you see ALL men as being Untrustworthy.
My Wife has always been cheated on, Not one of her relationships did not end without there being some form of sexual contact (Kissing or More) outside of thier relationship. I am a sexual guy and a flirt. My wife often thinks I am cheating on her even though I have never done anything to give her the impression I am doing things behind her back. We have had other subs come for kinky weekends and often she asks me if I want them more than her. Her self esteem is something that we are working on HEAVILY, but it doesn't change the fact that she associates Men with Sexual Infidelity. It may well be something I will always have to deal with but all I can do is keep giving her reasons to know I am not and trying to quell the way she feels.
Is it My fault she doesn't trust Men? No, but in accepting her as my slave it is something I agreed to deal with.
Does any of that make sense?
Steel
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