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KevinS -> RE: Was I ignored and stood up??? (3/13/2008 11:56:11 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kinkypuppy2
We have had that problem a lot in our search for a submissive/slave.
<snip> once it came down to ponying up- they ran..
Sorry it happens a lot on collarme..
My vote for what happened is to echo this post.
For many people, they are satisfied or even titillated by the online aspects of being into something kinky, chatting and doing whatever "online BDSM" is supposed to be, and feeling as if they are part of a subculture that's a bit naughty and daring. For better or for worse, my observation is that collarme has a pretty large subset of folks with little or no real-time experience, but a lot of experience in talking about it and fantasizing about it.
(note - yes, I realize this is both a sweeping generalization and a personal opinion. I caveat it as both).
Moving from reading books, chatting, being online, fantasizing about what you think you want, to being across a table from someone, and/or physically doing something, mentally processing the reality of it happening... well that's muy scary shit for a lot of people.
A very big step and a lot to digest. As such, a lotta LOTTA people flake on meeting.
Even people who fully well intend to follow through might have a crisis at the last minute.
This is the case with many online 'meeting places' - it's as common in the swing scene as it is in BDSM.
I'd suggest assuming an attitude of hopeful cynicism with the potential of a 'date' made online actually happening - presume they're not going to follow through, but hope that they will, and allow yourself to be joyous when they do.
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