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RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 12:44:08 PM   
MasterWilliam55


Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		Sorry about the hijack folks. Just chalk it up to another intolerant old fart.

(in reply to MasterWilliam55)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 12:48:07 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55

I don't have the time or patience to try and guess about some posts.




This is curious to me.  You do not have time or patience to try to guess about some posts, but you have the time and patience to create 5 posts of remarks about a post you did not want to guess about?

(in reply to MasterWilliam55)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 1:10:47 PM   
MasterWilliam55


Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		In a nut shell, yes, I made the time.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 1:17:00 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		I'll take a friendly stab at it.

If I follow, the question is not just about the evolution of a relationship, but also of how you perceive the evolution of your relationships as you grow yourself.

In that context, I would say this:  from the moment I first scened to now, I've made a number of personal growths in the BDSM sense.  However, it's not the way I grew regarding my sexual interests that have made my relationships improve; it's the way I have grown as a person that's made my relationships improve.

I'm not as angry as I used to be.  I'm not as stubborn as I was about "being right".  I tossed the White Knight syndrome off my back years ago, but at one point yes, it was there.  I used to be very clumsy, but I've changed [for the better, I would hope] as time has passed.  This has had a profound impact on my relationships; shedding old, bad habits has made me a better and more understanding partner.

Learning how to use the ole flogger "just so" doesn't hold a candle by comparison.



_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 2:31:56 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet


I have never seen anyone announce this in their sig line on this or any other message board. It might be helpful if they did, just saying I have never seen it. I do know there are several here that have such difficulties and it is pretty widely known that they do, and they are afforded some leeway by others that post here.

julia



I don't remember who has what on different boards.

There's a well known poster on b.com with some severe language disabilities. He's added that to his sig line and doesn't get any flak even though he's tough to read.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 2:42:02 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55

In a nut shell, yes, I made the time.


An interesting choice.  Thank you for replying.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 3:17:18 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

your relationship - how would it compare when it started to where it is now.


::throws out the gravy, saves the meat::

We had some communication issues in the beginning. I'm very literal in what I 'hear' while he is more laid back with what he says. That created some situations in which he thought I would 'interpret' what he said so I could perform as he required. When I didn't perform as he required it was almost always because I did what he said rather than what he 'meant' for me to do. Our communication has evolved to the point where I now know, almost always, what he 'means' when he speaks. I've learned his language and adjusted myself so as to truly comprehend him which allows me to serve him as he requires. Part of that adjustment came about because he gave me the tools I needed to be able to understand what he required. Without those tools, we may have gone on for a very long time miscommunicating.

Also, we have grown edgier over the years and more creative with the simple things. Neither one of us would thrive were things to get stale or old, so we make sure they don't by setting playtime fairly high on our list of priorities although not so much that it overrides things which are much more serious. For example, if we had set aside a particular Saturday for an intense, extended, grueling scene and one of us woke up in the morning too ill to indulge, it's not a problem to cancel plans and just care for one another. In a nutshell, our relationship has gotten better as it ages and mellows because we continue on our paths of personal growth and then each of us incorporate that growth into the relationship if possible.

Celeste



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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 6:19:36 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Chloe.  I get that the site is multi ethnic.  Some people don't and ridicule some posters without even looking at their profiles.  And if you have learning difficulties and are brave enough to post on a forum, you get ridiculed as well.
It might look ok to him.  I have a dear friend on here who is major dyslexic and when they post I have seen people take the piss automatically without even thinking what could be behind a posters mistypes, spellings or mixed up words.  But to my friend, what they write looks absolutely fine.
Everyones so quick, especially when its a poster who may talk big and doesn't follow the sheep.
If people are so clever to come up with witty pokes, then they are clever enough to read the question and understand whats being said.
 
the.dark.

 
I usually say what I mean, so....no witty poke, though I'm glad you saw one that was not there, and issued one of your own.  I truly do not understand the opening post.  Not one bit. I would have answered it if I did.  Ergo, you are more clever than I.  So, care to please ( I am being honest here) explain what the question was?  I am asking a sincere question here, I truly do not undestand it.

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Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 9:11:51 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		some got it some did not.  for those that did  you hit  it on the nose. Evolotion of a relationship   and is put with in the context of how  you see it and how we see it.

a flower can not grow with out sun light or food    neither can a relationship grow with out fundamental elements


< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 3/12/2008 9:17:02 PM >

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/12/2008 9:32:18 PM   
SinergyNstrumpet


Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

some got it some did not.  for those that did  you hit  it on the nose. Evolotion of a relationship   and is put with in the context of how  you see it and how we see it.

a flower can not grow with out sun light or food    neither can a relationship grow with out fundamental elements



I feel that D/s relationships change and evolve over time or they fail. I think expecting these relationships to remain the same causes many to fail from what I have read on these fora. How many threads have we seen where a sub wasn't subbing the way they used to, or a dom wasn't domming anymore. How many times have we seen submissives that ask how to get their dom to take control again once the new wore off the relationship. It reminds me of that Bab's song... You don't bring me flowers anymore...but instead it goes... you don't beat me with the flogger anymore

In our relationship I assumed that change would happen. I did not expect nor want our dynamic to be static... I started a similar thread over a year ago about this same topic because I realized that I did not want to miss out on something special by trying to freeze what we had the way it was.

Of course things have changed. Instead of dominating me less, as seems to be a common problem, he actually has assumed more control over what I do and do not do. Our relationship is pretty mellow, it feels natural. I feel as though I know him and his desires pretty well. Sometimes lately it seems like we talk alike even...

Long ago I realized I had to embrace the change in our power exchange over time if we were to maintain it... and that is something I think people under estimate as a source of trouble within their relationship in this lifestyle even more than newlyweds do. I hope people that have never been in a D/s relationship or are new to them read this thread and understand that change is inevitable. And basically we are all human beings in the end no matter how our relationship is structured.

julia

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Bdsm compromise - 3/13/2008 2:17:23 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692
I usually say what I mean, so....no witty poke, though I'm glad you saw one that was not there, and issued one of your own.  I truly do not understand the opening post.  Not one bit. I would have answered it if I did.  Ergo, you are more clever than I.  So, care to please ( I am being honest here) explain what the question was?  I am asking a sincere question here, I truly do not undestand it.


Similar to yourself kc, I say what I mean and if I have a thought in the moment, or a question or statement, I will make it.  I did not single your post out - I asked a general question and made a statement on what I saw - what I percieved - rightly or wrongly.  But if you feel your post warrents the attention and was one of those who could fit the definition of the questioning statement I posed, by all means.  And to correct you, I did not make a witty poke - there was nothing funny about it at all - it was a totally serious one.
 
I personally don't think that I am more clever, kc - people ask questions or make statements on the messageboard everyday.  I do not understand them all and I will ask if I do not, words to the effect of  'I do not understand the question'.  Some I do get and I respond to.
And some I 'think' I get and then find out later I didn't.  I answered if I thought I had something to add.  And sometimes what I add is wrong.
Like everyone else here, be they posters, moderators or admin - I am flawed and imperfect.
 
I see that the OP came back to clarify that it was about the evolution of relationships and personal perceptions.  I will not continue to usurp the OP and I have responded, so you know your post is duely noted.
 
the.dark.



_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 51
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