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In Awe - 9/26/2005 3:30:26 PM   
quietlilone


Posts: 29
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		Ok maybe this is a rant and maybe it will turn into an enlightening topic.

I'm not a shallow person, but I am human and if I happen across a photo that grabs my attention and is close to my general area, I'm going to send a post to at least say hi. Nothing wrong with that right?
So I do this, and talk to this person, be completely honest, and after a dozen exchanges, he beings to asked for suggestive pictures( which i do not send), and then out of the blue I am told that I am my ex pretending to be me( which I don't have), then I get blocked.
I know that the person was most likely a player now, but beyond being nice and honest on the first day of communication with a real Dom/mme should I be doing more? I don't feel comfortable calling someone on the phone at first and meeting someone is definatley not happening within the first 24 hours. Am I misunderstanding this? Or is this how the majority operate?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 3:34:00 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I know that the person was most likely a player now, but beyond being nice and honest on the first day of communication with a real Dom/mme should I be doing more? I don't feel comfortable calling someone on the phone at first and meeting someone is definatley not happening within the first 24 hours. Am I misunderstanding this? Or is this how the majority operate?


I think you did what I would have done and numerous other's would have done.
Who cares what he thinks anyway, right?
Really sounds a bit like a cyber player to me. Once people come out from behind the glow of the screen they seem to get a different outlook on life.

(in reply to quietlilone)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 3:43:01 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		Of course that's not how things should work - you must know ths person was being an ass.

I'm sorry someone was shitty to you. It will happen from time to time.

(in reply to quietlilone)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 3:45:42 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		MAJORITY? no. it is not. anymore than the dommes "I" had run-ins with. and there were a LOT of bad ones.

just be yourself. forget the idiots.

you'll find that GOOD one for you.

woofie

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"


(in reply to quietlilone)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 3:56:36 PM   
Pavel


Posts: 308
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I'll concur on the assness. I got series of notes when I was new by someone welcomeing me to the site, I figured "well awesome, I'm getting attention!" The messages went down hill to the point of being told that as a switch I was confused, and really just needed to make two profiles, one with my normal picture as the Dom profile, and one with a "naked slave picture." Needless to say, she didnt' get a reply after that message.

Dumb people exist, it just happens quite a few of them use this site.

(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 4:21:47 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: quietlilone
I know that the person was most likely a player now, but beyond being nice and honest on the first day of communication with a real Dom/mme should I be doing more? I don't feel comfortable calling someone on the phone at first and meeting someone is definatley not happening within the first 24 hours.


Stick to what you feel comfortable with when meeting people and your instincts were correct, that this person was a cyber player.

quote:

Am I misunderstanding this? Or is this how the majority operate?


I am saddened to say that my opinion is yes, when it comes to meeting online. But if you are patient and selective and stick to what you want and need in a relationship, there ARE a lot of good people out there. It's just a matter of shifting through the players to find the jewel.

Blessed be,
harmony

(in reply to quietlilone)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 5:33:07 PM   
Delvin


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Does one walk into a bar, see someone they like, sit, talk, leave together, live happily ever after ?

sometimes :)

Be smart, be honest, and be comfortable since you are relaxing in your own home, on the computer. Players are out there as in any "field".

batter up !

D

(in reply to harmony3709)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 5:38:10 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Yes and no. This is how the majority operates in the sense that the majority of the population is composed of shits.

But all shits are different. You got one brand of shit. Next time you're likely to get a different brand. Eventually you'll find someone who isn't a shit, but it will take some time. That will only help you appreciate the person all the more when you finally find him or her (or them).

quote:

ORIGINAL: quietlilone

Am I misunderstanding this? Or is this how the majority operate?


(in reply to quietlilone)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 5:50:45 PM   
Tristan


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		There are a lot of really cool people you might meet by dropping someone a line. Unfortunately you will run into a few losers too. Just be polite and curtious, and don't give out personal information. You can always block the jerks, but you have no way of knowing who you might not meet if you stop sending all messages.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 7:33:30 PM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline 		i cannot defend the Doms you have emailed but i do know from my Dom and Master friends who are searching that there is a belief that sub men sometimes masaquarade as sub women, for the bit of enjoyment they get out of it, and for most of my male friends, this makes Them angry. i myself have received some pretty demanding emails from Dommes and some would not accept that i was straight and not interested in Them.

If you told me i'd been "tricked" before by a woman, i'd believe you; why not lie about it if you have no regard for the other person and never intend to even come to the phone?

Again, i am sorry you were mistreated and feel the Dom(s) treated you badly, but They do have barriers up, some of Them.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 9/26/2005 7:34:44 PM >

_____________________________



(in reply to Tristan)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 8:18:33 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Errrrrrrr ~ points up post ~ Ummmm what pink said y’know…. ~ tries to look completely confusuled ~

Seriously lass, as so many have told you, you had a useless shithead. There’s heaps of them about in all shapes, sizes and sex. Different types too lass and y’know what? I wouldn’t give you two bob for any of them. But here’s something else you should know too. Mixed in amongst the blind mullets, turds y’know, that are some really beaut blokes out there, who know what they want and don’t buggerise about. You hang in there lass, take your time and know what you want. Go for it and don’t accept anything less that what you are after.

~ Wonders why I can see two of everything…. Could it be that one night’s sleep in three is not enough……. ~

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 8:40:02 PM   
lisaa


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline 		Your forum picture is suggestive.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: In Awe - 9/26/2005 9:13:39 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: quietlilone

Ok maybe this is a rant and maybe it will turn into an enlightening topic.

I'm not a shallow person, but I am human and if I happen across a photo that grabs my attention and is close to my general area, I'm going to send a post to at least say hi. Nothing wrong with that right?
So I do this, and talk to this person, be completely honest, and after a dozen exchanges, he beings to asked for suggestive pictures( which i do not send), and then out of the blue I am told that I am my ex pretending to be me( which I don't have), then I get blocked.
I know that the person was most likely a player now, but beyond being nice and honest on the first day of communication with a real Dom/mme should I be doing more? I don't feel comfortable calling someone on the phone at first and meeting someone is definatley not happening within the first 24 hours. Am I misunderstanding this? Or is this how the majority operate?


I have similar rules though I also have very formal procedures before I'll meet someone at all. So since I'm a dom who happens to be female, you can see that at least one of "us" isn't expecting to play or see explicit pictures very soon.

In fact, *thinking*, I've never ever asked for an explicit picture. What someone looks like naked isn't as important to me as their attitude, their drive to learn, their desire to serve, and having common non-kinky interests.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to quietlilone)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: In Awe - 9/27/2005 12:20:40 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: quietlilone

Ok maybe this is a rant and maybe it will turn into an enlightening topic.

I'm not a shallow person, but I am human and if I happen across a photo that grabs my attention and is close to my general area, I'm going to send a post to at least say hi. Nothing wrong with that right?

Not a thing, always nice when someone drops an email to me just to say hi. I say hi back, sometimes you make new friends that way.

quote:


So I do this, and talk to this person, be completely honest, and after a dozen exchanges, he beings to asked for suggestive pictures( which i do not send), and then out of the blue I am told that I am my ex pretending to be me( which I don't have), then I get blocked.
I know that the person was most likely a player now, but beyond being nice and honest on the first day of communication with a real Dom/mme should I be doing more? I don't feel comfortable calling someone on the phone at first and meeting someone is definatley not happening within the first 24 hours. Am I misunderstanding this? Or is this how the majority operate?

Speaking for myself, not how I woud "operate". There are things I will call it quits over, but I either let it drift off on its own if that's how its going, or I just explain very upfront that I would like things to progress in certain areas and if she can't do that then I don't feel I can invest in the "relationship" any further. I don't think anyone should meet in the first 24 hours and I don't often give my number out that quickly (though on occasion....). There's just no need to rush.

Personally, I do have my expectations, we all do. For me, I do expect things to progress to some phone calls at some point, say after at least a couple of weeks of regular emails / online chats. If they she can't do that, then I leave it where it is and don't invest myself emotionally in it... if it stays an online friendship I accept it for just that and let it be. If they can't maintain even regular contact online with me... well, without communicaiton its hard to build anything... what can you do. Same thing if we talk about meeting but they back out repeatedly... I face facts, for whatever reason they aren't going to meet, no point in wasting my time pursuing something that has already proven pointless. As for photos, they're nice, I like having a nice pic to associate with a name and a voice. As for suggestive pics, your profile pic is already more suggestive than anything I would ask for. If things have gotten intimate enough with a lass for me to be seeing more than that of her, we ought to just do it in personal and if there are going to be any photos, I'll take them myself.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to quietlilone)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: In Awe - 9/27/2005 9:37:34 AM   
quietlilone


Posts: 29
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your replys and adding some confidence in this for me.

In regards to my profile pic, yes it is a bit suggestive, but not in a crude manner. I think it is tasteful enough. When I was speaking of suggestive pictures, I ment pictures of certain body parts/area/ that god awful "c" word. ( which if by far the rudest expression IMO)

Again thanks to all and to CM for providing a wonderful place for us to talk and learn *wink*

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: In Awe - 9/27/2005 11:19:13 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lisaa

Your forum picture is suggestive.


First post, lisaa? Welcome!

So are you saying that because your view the OP's profile photo is that it is "suggestive," that you think it's okay for an almost stranger (since this appears to be online contact only), to ask for even MORE provacative or revealing photos? Would it really be okay, for someone you've never met, to ask for more, and suggest what you send? (I'd take it as someone just trolling for photos, but that's based only on the question posed.)

Does that also equate with a woman wearing a short skirt and slightly opened button down blouse...to being someone that is asking to be raped?

Sort of the same analogy, no matter how crazy it may sound.

I think the OP's profile photo is very nice. The black and white photo can be very dramatic by itself, and it's offering a hint to the lady, and yet may entice someone to want to know more about her.

The suggestion, as I see it...is that she's probably a submissive, and enjoys lingerie, and formal positions, within her role as a submissive. Others may view it differently also. I just don't see that a photo should imply the invitation to request more revealing or suggestive photos.

I'd be curious to know how many photos the man offered, in return. <not really >

K

(in reply to lisaa)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: In Awe - 9/27/2005 11:30:26 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
quote:

Errrrrrrr ~ points up post ~ Ummmm what pink said y’know…. ~ tries to look completely confusuled ~

Seriously lass, as so many have told you, you had a useless shithead. There’s heaps of them about in all shapes, sizes and sex. Different types too lass and y’know what? I wouldn’t give you two bob for any of them. But here’s something else you should know too. Mixed in amongst the blind mullets, turds y’know, that are some really beaut blokes out there, who know what they want and don’t buggerise about. You hang in there lass, take your time and know what you want. Go for it and don’t accept anything less that what you are after.

~ Wonders why I can see two of everything…. Could it be that one night’s sleep in three is not enough……. ~

IronBear


Honestly; the Dom who misspoke to me is history; i am smart enough for that. i only pointed out a reason why the Op might have met with hostility...not a nice reason, nor sufficient, but there nonetheless...pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 9/27/2005 11:31:14 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: In Awe - 9/27/2005 12:03:37 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:


ORIGINAL: lisaa
Your forum picture is suggestive.

First post, lisaa? Welcome!

So are you saying that because your view the OP's profile photo is that it is "suggestive," that you think it's okay for an almost stranger (since this appears to be online contact only), to ask for even MORE provacative or revealing photos?
For what it's worth FTopinMichigan, Lisa is not the ONLY person who noticed tha quiet's profile photo is VERY suggestive while at the same time complaining about being asked for suggestive photos. To me it only gets slightly more suggestive (and boring) if one is completely nude, and maybe on top of someone else).

I am in no way saying Quietlilone shouldn't place sexy pictures of herself on her profile. In fact, I think her picture is beautiful (thought it beautiful and suggestive first time I saw it), and should attract a hot Doms for her. What I personally prefer is someone always looking in the mirror and accepting his/her truth. If I set out to look hot/attractive, I'm not going to be offended if some men say hey "you're hot, you make me horny", because that is the effect I'm after.

Please don't misunderstand that I believe she shouldn't have a sexy photo up, or that she deserves crude/disrespectful treatment, but attracting undesirables is something we all do, and if they happen to be undesirable and disrespectful, we have block and report buttons to help with that.

Welcome to the boards Lisa. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 9/27/2005 3:02:40 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: In Awe - 9/27/2005 12:50:49 PM   
dommemagnet


Posts: 134
Joined: 10/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: quietlilone

Thank you all for your replys and adding some confidence in this for me.

In regards to my profile pic, yes it is a bit suggestive, but not in a crude manner. I think it is tasteful enough. When I was speaking of suggestive pictures, I ment pictures of certain body parts/area/ that god awful "c" word. ( which if by far the rudest expression IMO)

Again thanks to all and to CM for providing a wonderful place for us to talk and learn *wink*


I personally like your profile picture and being a visual creature appreciate the tasteful suggestiveness of it. I wouldn't provide anyone with more revealing pictures via the internet or any other media. Yes, I've been asked to do so before. These usually come back to haunt you. You did the right thing.

I also am encouraged that you take the time to initiate contact with people in your area that you have interest in. Keep looking & good luck.

(in reply to quietlilone)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: In Awe - 9/27/2005 2:09:23 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Well I like the picture. I'm guessing you're a size 4, right?

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 20
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