Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

advise....please


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> advise....please Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
advise....please - 3/13/2008 3:50:39 PM   
atendersoul


Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		i was with someone that i met here for two months and discovered that he was nothing as he said he was.....
after leaving, the female slave before me...having spent 18 months with this supposely master and i have talked.....
he has returned to this site, again under another screen name and seeking another "easy" female.....
what would you do?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 3:52:41 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ignore Him. You can't save the whole world and you shouldn't try.
Besides the guy you found to be a supposed master, may be anothers dream

Jeff


(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 3:54:21 PM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		I would try to learn lessons from past experiences and move on.

_____________________________

My mistakes are neither pretty nor little.

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 3:57:34 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Ignore Him. You can't save the whole world and you shouldn't try.
Besides the guy you found to be a supposed master, may be anothers dream

Jeff




Yup I agree here one mans heaven and all that, just have to learn from your mistakes Im afraid not much else you can do.


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 4:05:21 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		How would you like it if every ex you've ever had suddenly showed up to speak against your future potential happiness?

One woman's jerk is another woman's jewel.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 4:24:19 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
quote:

and discovered that he was nothing as he said he was..


This is a tough one to me.  Why?  Because it may boil down to interpretations, pre-conveived notions, and unrealistic expectations.

Did he intentionally harm you?  Did he outright lie to you?  Did he blatently disrespect your limits or boundaries? Or, did he just not live up to what you had perceived in your mind.

Without the answer to those questions, I would be haste in giving any advise on what to do regarding his future prospects.


_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 4:32:39 PM   
Constrictor1


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline 		Get a full battery STD testing and then find someone worthy of your trust and submission.

C

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 4:33:35 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

Without the answer to those questions, I would be haste in giving any advise on what to do regarding his future prospects.


I wouldn't. My ex-husband was a jerk. Ask me what went wrong and I will tell you - because it is just me, chatting and gossiping away. You don't know him and it can't injure him.
But, whatever he was with me, part of that was our dynamic, who we were together. With some other woman he may be a very different creature. It's really none of my business. He left me and went off to SD to live with the author of a well known lifestyle book. Rather they are still together I can not say. Given her public status, surely I could have went to her website, followed her 'write me some fanmail' link and written a long treaties about what her new bf was going to be like. Why would I? What is it to me? If they have found happiness together, so be it. If not, she is a big girl. If he is the same with her as he was with me, and if she finds that as much not a fit as I did, ( I mean, she is a published author and all. Maybe she can afford to keep him up in the style he so clearly believed he deserved without his having to actually - gasp! - Work!), she can throw him out on his ear and report his ass to INS, if she is so inclined. (But probably not for illegal employment. Nope, don't see that one happening).
Stay out of other adults lives, whenever possible, at the very least until and unless they invite you in - and sometimes even then.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to MistressVnus)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 4:34:56 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_1163969/tm.htm

I think that this may help explain why people will tend to say do nothing :D


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 4:51:48 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
quote:

Stay out of other adults lives, whenever possible, at the very least until and unless they invite you in - and sometimes even then.


Geesh.  Has everyone gone crazy on here?
I believe that is exactly what I was doing.  Even though the post on here CLEARLY indicates an "invitation" in.
And, as you so CLEARLY pointed out, and which reinforces what I was saying, your "ex", or whatever you want to call him, didn't acually cause you ill harm.  You just made a bad decision.  If I interpret your post correctly.
And, that was my point to the OP.  If he didn't intentionally harm you, or abuse you, or deliberately lie to you and/or deceive you, then he is just an asshole "to you," and perhaps not valid enough to go running around trying to ruin his reputation.

Hence, my "haste" in giving any advice on the situation without more information.

Can you people read?  WTF!!!


_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: advise....please - 3/13/2008 7:28:49 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		I am sorry, Mistress Venus. It is true that I quoted you and built my comments around what you said, but I meant my 'advice', such as it is, to be aimed at the OP. I apologize for seeming to be telling you to 'stay out of others lives'. That is, in fact, exactly what you were already advising. And I can clearly see why you took my post to be directed at you - it looked, and read, exactly as if it were. My apologies.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to MistressVnus)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: advise....please - 3/14/2008 3:08:56 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Being honest I would move on and just accept that it didn't work out. Who's fault it is and why - is that really important? It's over, gone, yesterday, past, history.

You write 'I discovered he was nothing as he said he was..' - which means?

If you are sure you were deceived, then what does it matter? You cannot build any sort of relationship without trust.

It takes two people to start a relationship and two people to end it. If you were deceived as you claimed, then there never really was a relationship to begin with, or was there?

Why prolong the agony? Why create an unnecessary drama?

Why not just move on, be responsible for yourself, and let him and whoever he's trying to start a relationship be responsible for what happens between them?

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: advise....please - 3/14/2008 7:09:48 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

what would you do?


soul,

there is not much you can or should do, except hone your own skills to spot it early on.

CP

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: advise....please - 3/14/2008 7:52:13 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		If this were the REALLY REALLY BAD ADVICE Thread I would say stalk him and try to contact alll the women he contacts of make a Profile that bashes him openly but all that would do is get you banned from the site.

Rather, I would suggest that you move on and be glad you are no longer that EASY girl.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: advise....please - 3/15/2008 2:44:02 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Wouldn't it be nice to live in a world where there aren't any Nigerian bank scams, internet phishing, door-ro-door roofing contractors?  A "con" gets its name from 'confidence' from people who are good at gaining the confidence of others in order to steal from them.  It happens everywhere.  All a person can do is be aware that such things exist.

Blacklisting?  Most people have at least one ex who would give a less than stellar reference.  Think about it.  What if, during the warm-fuzzy-gooey stage of your relationship this guy's ex approached you to tell you what a tool he is... if he hadn't yet been a tool with you, you might easily dismiss her as being just jealous, just being the total bitch he warned you she was... see?  There's really nothing you can do but i will advise this:  Do not look backward unless that's the direction you wish to travel.  Look forward instead.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: advise....please - 3/15/2008 3:52:15 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		OH come on gang, whatever happened to the taste of good old fashioned sweet revenge...

Have you thought about creating a fake profile, scheduling a motel room meet and having the rubber gloves and Krazy Glue Ready?  LOL...  I'm making a joke here.  

Though it would be interesting, if he showed up to meet somebody for coffee, then after a few minutes you and this other slave show up and are introduced to him as best friends.  Think would be some form of embarsment or mild humilation involved in something like this happening.

Basically, whatever you do!  Make certain you don't cause anybody any real harm.

Then again, you might enjoy your time doing something else and simply saying Fuck it.   There are some things that simply are not worth the time and engery.  

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: advise....please - 3/15/2008 12:01:06 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You're 53 and you haven't learned better screening techniques?

Beyond that, you could list where you are and say you welcome other local subs to contact you so you can tell them about all the bad guys in the area.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: advise....please - 3/15/2008 2:26:45 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You're 53 and you haven't learned better screening techniques?

Beyond that, you could list where you are and say you welcome other local subs to contact you so you can tell them about all the bad guys in the area.


**snicker**

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: advise....please - 3/15/2008 3:01:35 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Ignore Him. You can't save the whole world and you shouldn't try.
Besides the guy you found to be a supposed master, may be anothers dream

Jeff




Yup I agree here one mans heaven and all that, just have to learn from your mistakes Im afraid not much else you can do.



I have to third this advice.  Just cut your losses and move on.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 19
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> advise....please Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094