RE: For women: how to find a man here (Full Version)

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StormsSlave -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/13/2008 10:05:51 PM)

I absolutely, 150% agree with the OP.  If a sub here doesn't like the men who approach her, then she should approach the men she likes.  I have yet to meet the man who didn't like it when I expressed my desire to be with them in an open and frank way, never rude or crude, just blunt and honest.  So far, I've had 100% success with that approach.  [:D]

If for some reason someone doesn't suit you, move on.  Eventually, you're bound to meet interesting people, and maybe make a few friends.

edited for grammar



petdave -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/13/2008 10:31:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist
 After all, are not women the queens here-and the males merely pustules?


Fixed! [:D]



KindLadyGrey -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/13/2008 11:07:02 PM)

I'm with LadyHibiscus: when I read the topic of this thread I thought "Really? There are women who have trouble finding men on here?" Now, obviously finding the RIGHT man for you will take a little effort, but I can pretty much crook my finger and line up dates for every night of the week from my local area, and probably a few from the rest of the coast on the weekend. So if I were totally bored and had no life, I could play the odds, meet everyone who didn't seem like a psycho, and see what happened.

I do have a life though. I did as the OP suggested and went looking. It was tough, actually, because I have very few physical/age requirements. My requirements are something along the lines of "intelligent, interesting, and confident." You can't really filter for that. What I found is that something like 80% of the people on this site don't even bother to write a profile. Half of the 20% left over have a terribly written profile, sometimes barely intelligible. Good lord, I quickly found the few people in my local area who seemed like interesting and decent human beings, zapped them "hey, looking for friends?" messages, and never went looking again. As it turns out, I do occasionally get polite inquiries from people on this site, even ones with no profiles. My favorite boy right now has no profile at all, and the dumbest picture ever, but I agreed to start chatting with him because his original message to me was very genuine.

So now I wait for messages, generally speaking. I will check out the people who view my profile sometimes, and always check out the ones who add me to their favorites list. People who bother using the latter usually have some kind of profile, since they actually use the site for more than just wanking.

I've also met some very nice people here on the forums. I wish it were a better meeting venue for me, but few of the people I've hit it off with here live anywhere close to me. In some cases that is a crying shame, because there are some people who post here that I really really like a lot. Still, I've extended dinner invites to some of them if they ever happen to be in my area. (And if you've gotten a dinner visit offer or something similar, it means you're one of those people I really like a lot [:D])

I have also met a few cool local ladies in the Dommes' chatroom.

Bottom line, there is a lot going on here. If you are serious about looking, it's hard not to find someone that you hit it off with. I've met lots of cool people. Try looking for friends instead of hookups. See what happens. Worst case scenario, you learn a little bit and have some fun. Best case scenario, you find someone you really hit it off with.



Leatherist -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/13/2008 11:10:51 PM)

Total agreement here. If more of the men on this site had a genuine interest in who a woman actually IS-rather than just as an object to stick thier dicks into-we would all be much happier.



catize -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 4:39:50 AM)

 
I would have preferred this to be less gender-specific.
Bottom line for everyone:
Stop complaining
Don’t expect other people to change
If what you do doesn’t work, try something else



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 6:41:24 AM)

fast reply

i have no problems finding men - keep the profile simple and state "currently not looking" at the end.  it seems the men who have contacted me thus far skip that part when sending that first message.



LaTigresse -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 6:52:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

That's what I find annoying, complacency.


New mail filter checkoff!



Dnomyar -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 6:53:18 AM)

Mmmm can't realy answer this as I am not looking for men. Sorry guys did'nt mean to deflate a few egos. I have made some great women friends thru here. As to what StormsSlvae said agressiveness does work. Just show a little interest and let the guy take it from there.



Stephann -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 7:50:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

 
I would have preferred this to be less gender-specific.
Bottom line for everyone:
Stop complaining
Don’t expect other people to change
If what you do doesn’t work, try something else


I was planning to churn out part two today: For guys, how to find women here.  There's a lot more men here than women, and social roles define how men and women meet somewhat differently.  Yet the irony would be that "do the search yourself, and use the forums" is exactly what men are already doing [;)]

Stephan



SireKane -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 8:11:06 AM)

I don't know what the hell women online are complaining about, the internet for women is a testosterone filled goldmine for them. All a women has to do is create a profile , which sometimes may only consist of one short sentence, with a picture that may or may not be her, and her mailbox gets flooded with responses from interested men. The internet is a vehicle which drives men to women by the herd. It sounds to me like some women are complaining about having to sort through the hundreds of reponses from men who are interersted in them,   If the shoe were on the other foot, I'd doubt that many men would be complaining. In general you don't truly get to know someone through a website. I understand to due to time and distant some have no other choice. I think these websites are good for making the initial introduction. If you truly want to get to know someone you'll need to do it the "Old Fashioned" way, meet face to face.



Dnomyar -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 8:17:35 AM)

Because of the distance factor meeting face to face is not an option for many. Use it for an itnitial introduction untill the opportunity to meet face to face happens.



subtee -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 8:21:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SireKane

I don't know what the hell women online are complaining about, the internet for women is a testosterone filled goldmine for them.
[snip]

There's alotta "fools gold" in them thar hills!

I like Stephan's advice, but I wonder if some might get annoyed that a sub has written to them and her profile is hidden? It seems to me that has been a complaint as well.



dawntreader -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 9:00:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

 
I would have preferred this to be less gender-specific.
Bottom line for everyone:
Stop complaining
Don’t expect other people to change
If what you do doesn’t work, try something else

i agree catize
 
And Stephann - you have made a valid point.
 
Personally, i have never understood the complaints about e-mails that proliferate these forums and i tend to view these rants as "attention calls". CM provides so many options for dealing with this issue - someone said it very well on another thread - stop empowering written words to control your behavior and/or mood~
 
i think those that complain about excessive unwanted mail should consider cloaking their profile or at the very least remove their picture and have a generic profile without info.
 
Really though, quit complaining people...you have the power~



Dnomyar -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 10:01:09 AM)

dawnthreader I don't have a profile pic but thats is CM's fault. I think they thought that the overload of mail to my box would shortout their servers.   



dawntreader -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 10:36:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

dawnthreader I don't have a profile pic but thats is CM's fault. I think they thought that the overload of mail to my box would shortout their servers.   


ROFL!!!!!!!!!
However, you do have some beautiful women as friends on your profile...that should up your e-mail count - even i left you a message! That right there will probably cause a tsunami - i will warn CM to update their server[:D]



LadyPact -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 11:06:35 AM)

I agree with a lot of what the OP says.  I'm certainly in agreement with the forums being the best part of the site.  I tend to think I gather more about a person from the forums than I do from profiles.  For example, I would have never realized Stephan was a fellow South Park fan, had I not read this particular thread.

Though it has nothing to do with actually finding anyone, I don't think I would especially throw the filters on the mail controls.  I have some of the best conversations with people who wouldn't fit into the little box that would be set up by the parameters.  I prefer the mail all in one place, rather than different folders.




Dnomyar -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 11:17:22 AM)

I think that filters would be useless. Im a good example of that. Everyone has their opinions and they vary so how would you filter them.



subtee -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 11:53:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
 I would have never realized Stephan was a fellow South Park fan, had I not read this particular thread.

[snip]

Say it ain't so...




Stephann -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 12:17:04 PM)

You...You get your bitch ass in the kitchen!!  And make me some pie!!

Seriously, the advice is aimed at a very particular segment of people who aren't looking to just make casual friends; typically singles who don't live close enough to active BDSM communities.  This is the advice someone who grows up in Greenville, Michigan (population 7,000) might want to use, since their closest BDSM community is in Grand Rapids (Population 200,000), and almost four hours from Detroit.  Obviously, they're not close enough to a large enough group of kinky folk to simply meet for coffee after a couple days of chatting, and would need to rely more heavily on a personals site to find someone who matches their tastes.

For people already happy with their primary relationships and aren't looking for anything in particular, it isn't quite so necessary to go looking for that nothing in particular.

Stephan



Sundowner -> RE: For women: how to find a man here (3/14/2008 1:08:36 PM)

 


[sm=applause.gif]  Just a quick clappie to say interesting thread and a variety of good comments - nice one Stephan; very nice one.



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