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RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/14/2008 8:17:56 PM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		I think that the negotiated relationship has changed and should be renegotiated or ended ...  You basically have three options as I see it.   Accept the new terms .. renegotiate it .. or walk away from it.

My advice is " dont make a priority of anyone that makes you an option"


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To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/14/2008 8:21:18 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I like that quote I think I will steal it.

And I fully agree

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Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/14/2008 8:28:55 PM   
Maestro66babycak


Posts: 396
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

I think that the negotiated relationship has changed and should be renegotiated or ended ...  You basically have three options as I see it.   Accept the new terms .. renegotiate it .. or walk away from it.

My advice is " dont make a priority of anyone that makes you an option"



He refuses to negotiate. He says that I am topping from the bottom when I try to ask questions and hesays that I am being manipulative when I ask for more time with him.

I have been trying to think of that quote all day today , thank you Ma'am.

< Message edited by Maestro66babycak -- 3/14/2008 8:32:40 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/14/2008 8:42:37 PM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		IF he refuses to renegotiate then as I see it you have 2 choices .. stay and accept it as it now is .. or  walk away ......

Edited to say the quote in my previous post was paraphrased from the quote used by SwtnSparkling......I stole it from her ......lol

< Message edited by MissHarlet -- 3/14/2008 8:44:01 PM >

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to Maestro66babycak)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/14/2008 8:44:43 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Since he's been cheating, I think you should dump him. It doesn't matter that he's the master and you're the slave. Him playing with others without your knowledge is cheating. After you dump him, go see your doctor asap and don't engage in any unprotected sex (oral or intercourse) with a new partner until you have been cleared of all std's.  Curable std's should show up within a couple of months. HIV can take up to a year according to my gynecologist.  

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(in reply to Maestro66babycak)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/14/2008 8:47:06 PM   
Maestro66babycak


Posts: 396
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Since he's been cheating, I think you should dump him. It doesn't matter that he's the master and you're the slave. Him playing with others without your knowledge is cheating. After you dump him, go see your doctor asap and don't engage in any unprotected sex (oral or intercourse) with a new partner until you have been cleared of all std's.  Curable std's should show up within a couple of months. HIV can take up to a year according to my gynecologist.  

I did that already and I am desease free thank God

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/14/2008 8:48:22 PM   
DragonLadysFire


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with defiantbadgirl he is putting you as second best and putting your heath at risk.


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/14/2008 9:03:21 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Given the new information, yes, either accept it or reject it.  There are definitely people who accept this- not necessarily slaves.  Normal people whose partner suddenly change jobs and have to travel a lot, or who have a baby and suddenly need to spend a majority of their time on raising the person, or have a family member get sick and need lots of attention, or get called to serve overseas- deciding to change the relationship from full time to part time does happen and it can be bitterly unfair to both the relationship and the other partner.

But it does, and you can either accept it and know that you are still fulfilled in that situation, or say it's not going to work and end it.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/14/2008 9:33:49 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Oh babycakes. He's refusing to negotiate and calls discussion topping from the bottom and manipulating?

Please look at the facts, with as clear a head as you can manage (and I do know that's more easily said than done). Unless he has some valid reason for suddenly and dramatically changed the relationship, he is screaming out to you that you are now less valued than you were. I'm sure if he had a valid reason he would have told you what it was and not hide behind the "you're topping from the bottom" routine.

He must have some reason for all this but isn't telling you. Sounds to me like a coward or someone who has something to hide.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 12:59:34 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Eureka!  I've got the perfect solution to your dilemma, babycakes!  All you have to do is.....oops....wait a minute.....my opinion can't possibly be the solution you seek as I am not a dominant.  Oh well, good luck.  Maybe one of them will be able to hit upon it sooner or later.  If only I could answer

luci


I deeply apologize luci...it was not my intention to offend.


Something to keep in mind here, by limiting your audience as you have, you have potentially eliminated sound advice from submissives who have been in your shoes.  I am not offended by your requirements, but suggesting that it's something to consider in the future.

(in reply to Maestro66babycak)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 1:01:46 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I never know who's sub and who's dom in these threads. You know we all just bog in and post, whether anyone wants us to or not.

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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 1:08:06 AM   
MrSuperior


Posts: 31
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline 		Mr. Superior says:

A good Dom would negotiate those terms a lot more clearly!  Seems someone isn't playing nice!

Mr. Superior strongly believes in communication...it's what makes for SUPERIOR relationships!


(in reply to Maestro66babycak)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 1:08:58 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I never know who's sub and who's dom in these threads. You know we all just bog in and post, whether anyone wants us to or not.


Ha!  Good point. 

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 5:37:12 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Eureka!  I've got the perfect solution to your dilemma, babycakes!  All you have to do is.....oops....wait a minute.....my opinion can't possibly be the solution you seek as I am not a dominant.  Oh well, good luck.  Maybe one of them will be able to hit upon it sooner or later.  If only I could answer

luci


I deeply apologize luci...it was not my intention to offend.

No offense taken.  It was just a joke.  Only kidding, babycakes.  Thank you for your politeness, however.  Ownedgirlie made the point I intended to make.........luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 3/15/2008 5:39:05 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 6:37:55 AM   
Imaticklor2005


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Question yourself if the relationship still fullfills your needs.
Obviously for him how the situation was before with you wasnt enough and he went fishing somewhere else.
How its now doesnt satisfy you otherwise you wouldnt post this question.
Either you accept how it is if he doesnt wanna negotiate (which i dont recommand) or end it and open yourself up to something new that does make you happy.
Probably feels like your stuck but you can also see it as an opportunity for something better.

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 7:43:08 AM   
sirguym


Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline 		Personally I only have relationships, outside of that with my wife, that are part time for me.

Sometimes they are full time for the sub or slave in question.

But that is/was negotiated from the start. They knew the score and agreed.

I accept I can't change any basic provision in the agreement I have witout negotiation.

A change in 'time together' from full-time to only 3 days a week is pretty basic.

I go with the 'accept or dump' camp.

And if you accept, be prepared for the day when you only get one day a week, one day or a month.

Or he brings the other home and expects you to accept a subsidiary role in poly relationship.

These things happen, patterns recur, either both of you did not negotiate well at the beginning.

Or someone is unilaterally rewriting the rules; which means you can never trust them to stick to anything agreed.

(in reply to Imaticklor2005)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 9:16:33 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		OG- apparently that's what she wants, she emailed me to ask why I'd posted and let me know that her master doesn't listen to anyone who isn't Fully Dom.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sirguym)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 10:09:21 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		So someone needs to say this  -  "He's just not that into you".   You can choose to live with that, or not.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 10:19:51 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		well, you can probably tell what i am from my nicname.
the "only listening to Full Dom" issue is BS.
you *ahem* dom? hes got issues babycakes- big time.
how in the world can he ever know what a sub needs or wants
if he dosent listen to them?
is he a psychic?
whatever.
if you want to be part-time, you go right ahead.
the time youre not with him is your own, so have a blast girl!

_____________________________

Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Part-Time Master? - 3/15/2008 10:30:09 AM   
Flslaveseeker


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/23/2007
Status: offline 		I think he changed rules and never gave youa choice so take it or leave it it is very simple for you to do

(in reply to domahpet)
Profile   Post #: 40
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