RE: Voice as a tool in Ds

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/16/2008 7:34:37 AM

Bubba0352

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A voice is vital yet only a part of the whole. I feel its more of a voice control issue than a volume. You would yell to get someones attention, but if you have lost thier attention your not being a very good dom anyway are you. A clear statement or instruction delivered in the right tone is better than yelling any day.

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/16/2008 9:59:42 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

people who raise kids, do raise their voice , not? It works often. (not meaning yelling..that makes them just scared)

LOL Loved this. But then you'll get the "we are not children" argument. The point I see in your statement is that humans get angry and frustrated and humans often raise their voice when they do. I speak passionately - My voice raises several decibles just from telling a funny story.

Raising a voice is often fround upon, as you can see. I used to cringe over a raised voice, because of the way I was raised (LOTS of yelling). I'm over that, and was required to drop my baggage about such things. Now I love when he raises his voice, and yes, he even yells sometimes. I love that passion in him, and its effect on me is productive. This is not to say he never speaks quietly, or is out of control. It's just who he is. We are loud people. If his tone was low all the time, I would have to adjust to that.

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/16/2008 10:02:26 AM

Justme696

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quote:

but if you have lost thier attention your not being a very good dom

yes..we are inhuman ;)

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/18/2008 7:38:43 AM

DistinctGuide

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Thank you all for your input... we read some great thoughts.

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/18/2008 9:00:41 AM

Dominari

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

power whispers...it has not reason to yell....~fav quote

Excellent quote...and I quite agree with Distinct Guide's comments as well.

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/18/2008 9:19:43 AM

LilMissHaven

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Being deaf voice has very little affect on me.

I cannot decifer accents or tone. I can only decifer volume thru the vibrations the small hairs on my skin detect. Which can often be misleading..."SLUT!" spoken loudly to get one's attention can be interpreted as an angry tone... "little one your seriously driving me mad" can be taken so many ways when said in a low tone of voice.

These are just some examples of why the spoken word has so very little meaning to me. Rarely does anyone mean what I think they do therefore my X Master had to learn how to meet me halfway and learn to communicate non-verbally.

It is hard to mistake a half smile and wink or a hard look. One tells you someone is happy with you, the other disappointed or angry.

Now all that set aside there is nothing more powerful then a whisper to bring me to my knees. One can be whispering Jimmy cracked corn for all I care because I do not hear words only vibrations. I will let someone near other private zones long before I let them close enough to whisper in my ear because it literally feels as though they are carressing my brain (my very soul).

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/18/2008 10:15:14 AM

GreedyTop

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Haven, OT here.. can you recommend resources for learning ASL?

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/18/2008 10:32:05 AM

LilMissHaven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Haven, OT here.. can you recommend resources for learning ASL?

OT?

Yes, of course I can if you can wait until tommorrow when I'm on my home computer where I keep those links saved and readily available.

But, you can also contact your local hospitals, schools, etc. They generally have a good idea of where to find a reputable instructor.

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/18/2008 12:17:50 PM

closetmonkey

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A voice is absolutely a tool! Just like everything else in a scene, setting, or relationship! I think like any tool, everyone will have different opinions about how it is best used, too. (insert cheeky GRIN here!)

I love the thrill of a Master's voice close by your ear, so you cannot SEE the expression, and have to freeze and really pause to consider his words and tone all as one...

To me, a quiet voice of any tone denotes strength. Someone who does not have to yell comes across to me as a person who has themselves both in control and has strong self-esteem. they ASSUME you are listening- and if you don't, instead of yelling, they speak slower, or firmer... YOU are expected to listen to THEM.

By the same token, I always feel like people who yell too much, or who use nothing but profanity must not be very well in control... If they can't be bothered to think of ANY words but the main 'naughty' ones, I begin to wonder if they even know what they want from me! ...or worse, if they know what they WANT at all!

A yell can serve tons of other purposes for me, though. so I'm not saying it's bad in any way! Just... I get the best results when someone uses their voice more in a controlled way. It can be powerful stuff!

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RE: Voice as a tool in Ds - 3/18/2008 12:25:13 PM

CreativeDominant

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Several good points made herein.

As a person who treats people who do not feel good, I fully understand the need for the proper tones of sympathy and quiet understanding and nurturing towards doing what I want them to do. As a father, I fully understand that as a parent, I raised my voice once in awhile and, because I only did it at those times when it was most called for, it was effective. The times when I yelled were even more rare and thus, that tone was effective for what I needed to accomplish with my ums. As a teacher of other healthcare providers, I have seen the effect that a certain tone of voice has when I am teaching. Changing the voice tones can make even the most dry material at least semi-interesting. As a dominant, I am well aware that certain tones in my voice will cause certain reactions in a person who feels somewhat submissive to me. Kind of a funny aside though...isn't it interesting how much more that tone level works the more involved you are with that person? And not everyone reacts the same way to the same tones or even different ones. I could bring my first and third submissives to orgasm by command and tone. Nothing I ever tried with the second one brought that about. And ironically, she was the one who came and lived with me for an ongoing period of time. Who knows why...differing response to auditory input, other factors in her life, factors in my life that may have subconsciously altered my tones???

I am well aware of certain buttons within myself. In the instance of voice, begin shouting at me and I will do one of three things: either raise my voice to your level, lower my voice to a very quiet level, or tell you that when you are ready to speak like normal humans do (which can and does include raised, passionate voices), then call me and I'll come back.

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