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Trying to be lady like... - 3/14/2008 10:38:49 PM

lilgurlkatie

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/3/2007
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I have grown up in a house hold where I am now a hard core Tomboy, skirts and make up are not really my thing and I feel odd when wearing women clothing. I just don't know how to get use to wearing women clothing, is there a method I can use to make me feel more comfortable and more enthusiastic to wearing women apparel and being more feminine like?

Post #: 1

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/14/2008 11:04:30 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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You could either get into a relationship with someone who appreciates your personality and expression of self and realizes that "tomboy" is just as female as "femme" and not cowtow to all the stereotypes out there....or just start trying. Just start wearing some skirts, go get some make up tips and try things out. Let yourself have fun with it, let yourself wear really bad things just to see how bad they are. Maybe you'll start to love it, maybe you won't. But you gave it a shot.

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RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 12:20:02 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
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From: Portland, OR
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To piggyback LA; why do you think you should be dressing more feminine? Is it an interest of yours, or something you feel others are compelling you to do?

Stephan

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Post #: 3

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 2:10:00 AM

MrSuperior

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Joined: 3/15/2008
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Mr. Superior says:

Regardless of the clothing, it's all woman underneath! If you can't handle a dress, kick back in a nice pair of Dockers!

Mr. Superior thinks you look great as a lady already - so burn the bra and someone will appreciate the easy access!

(in reply to lilgurlkatie)

Post #: 4

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 2:11:54 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
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Hm, you look girly and pretty in your pic.

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RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 2:25:31 AM

lusciouslips19

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Buy a pair of stilletos and wear them with your panties alone in your bedroom. Practice taking a few walks around the room and then wear them lieing down. Thats where most of your time will be spent anyway when you wear those heels for a man(or some women).

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RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 3:27:29 AM

lytehaze

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Joined: 10/3/2006
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Where in the gamut of "feminine" attire you are trying to fall. There's a big difference in the slender suits of Diane Keaton and the boas and baubles of Marilyn Monroe.

As far as feeling more comfortable in feminine clothes: introduce a little at a time. If you're learning how to wear heels try starting with a kitten heel and progress to a stiletto. And tiny changes can make a big impact: silk or sheer button downs instead of cotton, trousers with little to no pocket, jackets that are structured at the waist to create the illusion of the hour glass shape. Even simple jewelry or button detail goes a long way to soften a masculine line.

Make-up’s the same way. Don’t dive into eyebrow pencils and lash curlers. Feeling comfortable comes with adjusting a bit at a time while still keeping you who you are. If you’re a tomboy you might not want to go the whole concealer, bronzer, pantyhose, hair pins way. Try a tinted lip gloss with hand applied blush on the cheek and eye, or a simple summer jumper with a low wedge. No fuss but still girly.

As far as being more enthusiastic you’ve just got to do it. Focus on the nice things: tasty flavored lip balms, being able to see over peoples heads when in heels, getting a cool breeze with a skirt, etc. But the main incentive should be your own aspiration. What prompted the desire for change in the first place? Focus on that and celebrate meeting the goals you’ve set for yourself along the way.

I swear if I ever work up to staying all day in a corset I’m gonna buy myself a new car

< Message edited by lytehaze -- 3/15/2008 3:29:50 AM >

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Obligatory disclaimer: Of course the above views are my own, as I can only speak for myself. Should others identify or disagree with my thoughts, that is their right. I in no way meant to offend, by malice or negligence any person or group.

(in reply to lilgurlkatie)

Post #: 7

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 5:40:05 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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To me.... walking is an important part of looking female.
I saw girls in dresses or skirt....they looked sexy as hell..but then they walked away..and it was...like a ... mmm... wrestler moving around lol

but I am curious also, why you want to change. Nothing wrong with tomboys..they can be very attractive.

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RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 6:03:28 AM

Silkendream

Posts: 65
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline

hey katie!

I'm going through exactly the same thing - and for me exploring my 'feminine' side has been very hard, because i've always associated it with weakness, but here are some of the things that helped me - firstly, doing an evening class in makeup!! This was a lot of fun and made me feel more confident about applying and wearing makeup, as before i'd always felt like a female impersonator (and not a very good one).

Second, watch Mae West films - if they don't make you want to wear silk, nothing will!

Thirdly, do something like yoga, tai chi or voice projection - anything that makes you focus on your body and how you're using it. For me, a lot of being womanly is to do with relaxing and being in touch with my body.

Fourthly, have some fun with it - i go into chatrooms and announce that i'm very ladylike and we play about with the ideas of it - can we be ladylike and still be depraved sluts! (i think we can). :)

And fifthly, keep a journal. (but i say that for everything! he he)

Best of luck, and let us know how you get on.

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 9

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 6:46:10 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

I don't think "ladylike" or feminity has a whole lot to do with the clothing one wears so much as the person one is. I remember being told once that my whole demeanour was feminine, the gestures and the way I moved...whilst in ripped jeans and dirty T-shirt just in from fixing somethin'...lol. I also remember being told that I walk like a linebacker spoiling for a fight and could never be mistaken for a lady...and that was at the prom whilst in gown and heels.

It all depends on the point of view I guess and whose opinion it is. My man sees me as feminine but not girly, a lady but not frew-frew, and that I am even sexier in shorts and spandex sweaty and stinking from the gym than in heels and stockings (but he likes those too <wink>). So it's not really in what you wear so much as just who you are, IMO.

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RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 6:49:24 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

stinking? or smelling sporty...the last one sounds a little more sexy ;)

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Post #: 11

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 9:11:38 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
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Caught me low on caffeine, JustMe....smelling sporty...yeah, that's what I meant. Although when I catch a whiff, I call it stinky.

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 12

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 10:35:06 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilgurlkatie

I have grown up in a house hold where I am now a hard core Tomboy, skirts and make up are not really my thing and I feel odd when wearing women clothing. I just don't know how to get use to wearing women clothing, is there a method I can use to make me feel more comfortable and more enthusiastic to wearing women apparel and being more feminine like?

I'm thinking wearing boxers under the dress. Make the girl/boy fashion statement.

BadOne

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to lilgurlkatie)

Post #: 13

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 11:33:48 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Start with lingerie. Instead of boy shorts and sport bras, move into sexier underwear. If you want shoes you can move in, try Easy Spirit. Substitute a silky shirt for a cotton tee. Velvet jeans for night time instead of cotton. Move to more tactile fabrics.

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Post #: 14

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 8:06:28 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

I am the youngest daughter of 5 boys and two girls. I was doomed to be a tomboy. My mom wanted a little girl, however, so we struggled over dresses for years. Eventually we both figured out that if I was comfortable in it, we could both live with it.

My advice is to pay attention to the fabrics you choose. As a person who lives in jeans and t-shirts for my job, putting on certain fabrics after work makes me feel different ways. If you are feeling particularly awkward, skirts and dresses made of denim may help you feel less exposed and more like yourself in them. Sandals instead of heels to start with...not the little, tiny heeled ones, but just flat, strappy sandals. They are everywhere right now, and amazingly convenient and comfortable. Oh, and paint your toenails. I don't know why, but somehow looking down at pink toes is very...girlie. For shirts, choose cotton fabrics and sweaters.

Find a person's style that you like. Watch some tv, then look for clothes that are similar. You might find an individual style all your own by mixing and matching some things.

I love being both ways, girlie and tomboyish. At work I muscle heavy cases of stuff all day, so at home I'd rather wear things that feel good against my skin and remind me why it's so nice to be a woman.

Hope this helps.
{this clothes horse will now slink back to her closet.}

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(in reply to lilgurlkatie)

Post #: 15

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 8:56:35 PM

HalfShyHalfWild

Posts: 150
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Texas
Status: offline

Take it in baby steps so it becomes more comfortable. I use to be a huge tom boy. As I got older, I seemed more inclined for womanly stuff but noticed if I did it all at once, I couldn't stand it and would change after about 5 minutes lol. Find some nice comfortable feminine shirts, wear with the jeans. After awhile, implement some pretty more feminine shoes into rotation, sandals, low sexy heels, etc....
Then when you're comfortable with that, go for some skirts. Go for longer if not totally comfortable with them. Also wearing matching sexy bra/panties underneath. That alone will make you feel very feminine and it's not out there for everyone to see either. After awhie your habits will change and it won't feel so startling and uncomfortable to be dressed in that way. Then you can experiment more and more. Now I own a closet full of dresses, skirts and blouses. Only wear jeans when it's cold. So I've gone to where I wanted to be, just took me a bit. And have fun with it

(in reply to lilgurlkatie)

Post #: 16

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/15/2008 9:07:57 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilgurlkatie

I have grown up in a house hold where I am now a hard core Tomboy, skirts and make up are not really my thing and I feel odd when wearing women clothing. I just don't know how to get use to wearing women clothing, is there a method I can use to make me feel more comfortable and more enthusiastic to wearing women apparel and being more feminine like?

Basically I would start small. Flat shoes, comfortable fabric, small jewelry, light makeup may help you get familiar with "girlie" things. I would also go to a cosmetics counter and have them teach you about different products and how they are used... and although they usually apply too heavily, they can teach you some tips on application of the stuff, and its uses.

I would wear shoes that you find comfortable that have a feminine feel. Explore heels slowly, practice walking in them as is comfortable to you. If they hurt your feet, don't wear them out of the house.... you will be put off heels forever.

I would also recommend finding a friend who has taste and a style that you could somewhat emulate. Perhaps you could go shopping with that friend....

There is a show on TLC called "What Not To Wear" which could be helpful in showing you what is flattering, and why it is flattering...

julia

(in reply to lilgurlkatie)

Post #: 17

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/16/2008 8:59:02 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Your pic looks girly!

What things do you consider femme? It could be that the right underwear will put you in the mindset--none of that cotton stuff! Go to Macy's and get something by Felina. There are lots of casual dresses in non-froufy fabrics that you can try--go for a long fuller skirt, if you have issues with sitting or moving, and watch the necklines---it's amazing how much you can reveal without realizing it!

Practice walking and moving. You now have an excuse to get a latte and people watch at the mall or park. Check out the women who seem like your ideal and watch what they do.

Finally, I advise you to get a helper who can watch you practice moving, and help you pick clothes, and makeup if that's your thing. You could become a total stiletto ho like me and Luscious, who knows!

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Post #: 18

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/17/2008 12:28:39 PM

chaosforge

Posts: 397
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: The Abyss
Status: offline

hmm, try belly-dancing. You get to be active and graceful. Belly-dancing costumes accent all movement, reinforceing being ~*girl*~ with out Channel or pearls. - just phoenix

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Post #: 19

RE: Trying to be lady like... - 3/17/2008 1:18:47 PM

obagaar

Posts: 46
Joined: 1/22/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chaosforge

hmm, try belly-dancing. You get to be active and graceful. Belly-dancing costumes accent all movement, reinforceing being ~*girl*~ with out Channel or pearls. - just phoenix

Was gonna suggest that myself. Its a very feminine dance form, rather than most Western forms it works with how your body naturally moves rather than against it. Plus bellydance costumes are so much fun, and definitely would make you feel more feminine whatever style you choose.

(in reply to chaosforge)

Post #: 20

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