|
hellosmoooo -> Transforming nice women into humiliated and demeaned victims. (3/15/2008 10:16:20 AM)
|
Well, just last night I read an article about abused women. My first master fit the bill: "A sadist' that seemed able to assess the vulnerability of a woman and exploit it to manipulate her for his need for control and dominance. These sadists have a degraded view of women in which they are all ultimately 'bitches' and 'whores'. They choose "nice" women with no exposure to perverse sexual practices. The transformation of these 'nice' women into humiliated and demeaned victims is a sadist's mission. This process not only insured them access to a compliant sexual partner, but also highlighted the control and mastery he could exert over another.
Initially charming, considerate, daring, unselfish and attentive even while you recognised a sinister side to them. They usually relate to women in a romantic, seductive manner that was the antithesis of their eventual degradation and abuse.
After you been transformed next come physical and psychological punishment. Having met, seduced and transformed a 'nice' woman into a sexually compliant and totally dependent individual, the sadist has validated his theory of women.
The woman is now a subservient, inferior being who has 'allowed' herself to be re-created sexually and has participated in sexual acts that no 'decent' woman would engage in, thereby confirming that she is a 'bitch' and deserving of punishment.
This topic that I had read last night as well as others here have been really hitting home.... I'm learning so much from this community. I wish I had it all together like you all. I am still in the process of trying to extricate my last mater's poisonous influence from my life.
Recently I get involved with an abusive man masquerading as a master. I blame my dad mostly for my weakness. He abused me growing up and tore down my self esteem to the point that I felt I could do or have nothing on my own,I became accustomed to self deprivation because I wanted to believe my dad had my best intrests at heart. I was weak and though his physical abuse was love. He battered my body and worse my esteem.......
And now after that and my last master, the point where I am at today, I wouldn't want to be appreciated as a woman for [pathetic and weak] traits abusive doms look for in a woman with no esteem: need to be hurt, need to be possessed, need to be abused, need to submit, need to be beaten, need to be humiliated, need to be degraded. The experience I had shows me women, any of them wanting those, are weak women and are great prey for women haters. It is very wise for women to stay away from men whose sense of of masculinity depends on the woman's dependency upon him.....
I feel foolish still because it's so easy to be sucked in... starts with flattery and lots of positive attention and you don't really know what's underneath all the "words" at first. Only when you step away and look in do you see......
I see now he felt like a man only if I was totally submissive and dependent on him He had a double personality; either charming or very cruel, selfish or generous depending on his mood. And the constant small digs.....Just a minipulation of a slow, insidious, breaking down of my self esteem until there‘s next to nothing left, Also I was just an object or a symbol and he didnt relate to me as a person. And he was a master of self-deception, projecting all the blame on me. I could never get myself around how he could be so cruel....he is like a jekyll and hyde like this and expects me to know his triggers.... god forbid....
I've come to realize that what looks like a master on the outside, there can instead be potential abuser with a channelled outlet for aggression against women, as well as perhaps glorifying violence between women..... There are many signs a woman needs to look after.......
Although they appear very charming at the early stage of the relationship it very quickly shifts to a love/hate relationship. It is all about them, they are not open to negotiations, they do not reason, there is no WIN/WIN situations. And an abuser absolutely doesn't see anything wrong with what they do! They seek a vulnerable person because they know that person will be good to them....
They choose that person because they know they have done wrongs in their life, and they seek to be with someone to balance that out, so they seek the opposite of them, which is the person who will not abuse others. Then they become your best friend, or best boyfriend, and win your trust, enough that you will let them into your closest confidence, and will become your bosom buddy. Soon, it begins....
They hit you saying it is appropriate "punishment" or something they were driven to do.
Anyway, that's my very sad story. All I can say is I am so thankful to be a survivor and it has all made me very strong yet have compassion and love in my heart for all that enter my life, sometimes the hardest lessons are the most treasured ones. If women see danger signs flashing at you as you get involved with someone, PAY ATTENTION. You cannot change someone like this. You cannot ever be good enough, pretty enough, etc. It's a lose lose only for you. If I can help anyone reading this to keep a watchful eye open than thats great. If not, thank you all for reading this post.
|
|
|
|
