RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (Full Version)

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darchChylde -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/19/2008 7:39:55 PM)

i don't think i suffer much from machismo, or the male ego.  i mean, i am very protective of all those who i hold close to my heart; be they male or female and irregardless of the relationship dynamic that we share; but i do not necessarily act as the only person capable of remedying the situation.  i more often fall into the role of confidant or comforter than i do the role of protector, it is where my skills and nature are best suited.

As for a "male ego" and being less capable of surrendering due to my masculinity, i'm not really sure about that.  There are some things that make me sometimes balk, or be hesitant in regards to outright surrender and open vulnerability; but these are more due to the emotional conditioning i forced upon myself as a way of protecting myself emotionally after certain events in my life than my having a penis.

i do not feel that i have a "male ego" that needs to be appeased or quelched, but that could merely be because i'm not entirely certain by what you mean by the term.  Personally, i think i have more of a "female ego", more concerned about my hair, nails, skin, weight and appearance in general than anybody's perception of my masculinity or lack thereof (and somehow i still manage to not be a 'sissy'. LoL)..

Perhaps you would be so kind as to define precisely what you mean by "male ego".



Shawn1066 -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/19/2008 10:14:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde


Perhaps you would be so kind as to define precisely what you mean by "male ego".



I second this.   Also, I'm along the same lines as  Darch.  I tend to have more of a "female ego" than anything else. :-p

DV's Fox



Boondoggle -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/21/2008 12:55:10 AM)

I think I have a pretty good intuition about what the 'male ego' refers to, but I don't think I can easily describe or define it. My best advice is think of a stereotypical college frat as an extreme example. However, I certainly don't think the behavior and outlook of the 'male ego' is by any means restricted to those with the Y chromosome. I, personally, generally dislike, and don't relate to, people with the 'male ego' mindset. While I do think it is a fair generalization to say that such a mindset is a predominantly male trait, not all males behave that way, and plenty of females do.

To go back to the original discussion of choosing a biologically female sub instead of a biologically male sub, I don't think that will necessarily give you what you want. I think a wiser course of action would be to take more time and screen your prospects carefully rather than imposing some sort of arbitrary limit. Of course, this is easy for me to say as I'm not the one trying to wade through the sea of disingenuous males masquerading as submissives just to get their kinks indulged.



MissEnchanted -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/21/2008 4:59:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

quote:

I do have a big white-knight complex when it comes to women, though.  I was always something of a protector in my relationship with other women, doing everything I could to keep them safe from harm and seeing them as NEEDING my protection.  I have no idea what that's all about, other than wondering if I'm the reincarnation of Sir Galahad or what.


You know, it's strange, but I do that with ALL my slaves.  Very protective.



Me too!  I am also careful about who I pick to be near me and am slower to trust these days.
I am polyamorous and able to love more than one person/gender at a time.

Finding people to serve who are not jealous is like discovering a precious treasure among the riffraff and I treat those jewels with my best in every way.

I have also found jealousy and 'neediness' to be equal in men and women.


Miss Enchanted



MistressVnus -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/21/2008 7:08:26 AM)

quote:

I think a wiser course of action would be to take more time and screen your prospects carefully rather than imposing some sort of arbitrary limit.


Thanks for your thoughts.  And, believe me, I'm screening like crazy.  Screening them all right on out!!  LOL
I am in no hurry, however.  I know that haste in searching brings bad decisions.  Been there, done that.  ACK!!
He/she will come when the time is right.  Again, thanks.  I enjoyed your very objective opinion.



MistressVnus -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/21/2008 7:11:09 AM)

quote:

I have also found jealousy and 'neediness' to be equal in men and women.


I can't say I can disagree here.  I think it's just that I've mostly dealt with men so my "views" are a bit tainted because of that.  Hence, my asking for other's experiences with this thread.  Thanks.



MaamJay -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/21/2008 7:48:54 AM)

I'm open to both ... most recently tried a fem sub ... but she had similar issues to My ex hubby in terms of being so scared of being rejected, that she did the rejecting. This time I didn't spend nearly 12 years trying to sort it out. So obviously that is a gender neutral potential problem! I am finding Myself leaning back towards males at the moment ... partly because they are the ones approaching Me at this time, doesn't seem to be any fem subs on the horizon. Given that one potential task for a sub is to be assistant roadie to Master and I in Our music duo (slight sidetrack for a skite ... Our first gig this week went awesomely well ... except We were knackered after lugging all the gear!) ... perhaps a male is currently a more logical choice for pursuit! Although I wouldn't knock back the right fit femme!

However Venus ... only You can decide who might best suit Your needs ... and really it might come down to looking at who is coming Your way and of course deciding on a whole balance of factors beyond gender. Good luck!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



undergroundsea -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/21/2008 7:52:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle
I think I have a pretty good intuition about what the 'male ego' refers to, but I don't think I can easily describe or define it. My best advice is think of a stereotypical college frat as an extreme example.


Thanks for your attempt to describe it. The matter remains fuzzy to me. I am pondering whether a college frat guy stereotype is a good representation of the male ego. Amongst the traits one might associate with a frat guy stereotype are partying and perhaps a sense of elitism based on social circles and socioeconomic status. Is the reference to one who is accustomed to have his way? What traits might one associate with a sorrority girl?

I think a clarification about what the male ego means would allow us to have a better discussion about how much the difficulties had by the OP are related to men, and how much to personalities she has encountered.

Cheers,

Sea



MistressVnus -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/21/2008 10:18:31 AM)

quote:

However Venus ... only You can decide who might best suit Your needs ... and really it might come down to looking at who is coming Your way and of course deciding on a whole balance of factors beyond gender. Good luck!


Thanks for the good luck wishes.  I NEEEEDDD that!!  LOL



AcademyForSlaves -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/21/2008 9:25:53 PM)

Have whatever pleases you (male or female).

Do not worry about what other people think.

We focus on training males but we don't turn away females who choose and want to be submissive. Besides some of those females who come to us only submit to dominant females and help us train the males!! :)



kajirusilk -> RE: For Bi Mistresses: F vs M slave (3/21/2008 9:53:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Have whatever pleases you (male or female).

Do not worry about what other people think.

We focus on training males but we don't turn away females who choose and want to be submissive. Besides some of those females who come to us only submit to dominant females and help us train the males!! :)


Yes accademy we understand from your post and profile thst you are just in it for cash.  However, your posts on other threads indicate you are unsafe.  your lust for cash far outweighs any tenants of safe sane and consensual but rather is based on anything for money!  It is people of your ilk that make all others into legitimate Ds viewed as sleazy.  I feel bad for those you blatantly rip off



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