DesFIP
Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
FnF - depends what sort of "drinking buddies" one is discussing.
For the average person, a drinking buddy is someone that one goes on a night out with to have some fun. Everyone rips on everyone else but its all good natured and everyone looks out for everyone else.
For the alcoholic, the drinking buddy is merely someone with whom one associates because they have booze and you dont, or you have booze and they dont. Its a practical arrangement whereby one puts together a circle for mutual need, not pleasure or friendship - and things can turn very nasty, very quickly if the booze is out or someone says the wrong thing in such an environment, or even if, fuelled by drink, someone does something to another which because of their drunkenness seems like a fine idea at the time.
Having spent time around alcoholics, its not that theyre stupid, bad or nasty people as such - but the booze can make them so, and they dont realise what theyre doing and often dont recall what they did. Thats not an excuse for their behaviour of course, but throwing them in jail isnt really whats needed - every one that I met got into drinking because of psychological or social problems. If we spent as much time and money on fixing those problems, preferably before the drinking starts, we wouldnt have anywhere near the problems we have in society in general from the accepted drug of choice.
E
Ellen, usually I agree with you but now I don't. I don't know of a single alcoholic who hasn't tried therapy and in none of those cases did it serve to make them able to drink normally. It isn't because of early toilet training or always being picked last for games, it's because of a genetic predisposition. Social and psychological help doesn't help this, the only thing that works is to quit drinking.
As far as mean drunks, I doubt this is the first time this monster got drunk and did something horrible. He knew what he was like the first time he got drunk, which was probably a good five years ago. He has chosen to keep getting drunk and using that as an excuse to do all the nasty things normal people think of and don't do. I also don't believe that he couldn't have spoken to a counselor at school five years ago and gotten the address and times of the closest Ala-Teen meetings if he didn't feel comfortable going to AA meetings proper. He chose not to get help, he chose to keep acting out his most vile thoughts. Nobody put a gun to his head and forced him to get drunk and do this. He chose it.
Alcoholism runs through my family, skipping every other generation. My great-grandfather was a brutal alcoholic, my grandmother never drank. My parents both drank to excess starting later in life. I rarely drink. My daughter has the ability to drink more than those around her without getting drunk, she knows that's the sign of the genetic predisposition, and she rarely drinks because she knows she is susceptible to the illness.
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