RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (Full Version)

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cjan -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/16/2008 10:03:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken
I'm all good with that, but the fact is a male dom has a lot more competition for a female slave than you're average Joe does for date.  It's not my standards that change - the marketplace dictates, and where you're talking slave and master and marketplace ...who pays for whom?

Oh I agree- there's lots of social reasons that females ask for direct physical and monetary tribute while males ask for performance based tribute (and are careful to avoid calling it that).  But my point was that tribute or financial slavery is in no way somehow making anyone less sub or dom, and certainly CAN bring out the best in people.


Actually, I agree with you, LuckyAlbatross. I think you mistook what I was saying. Labels never fit.Sorry I wasn't more clear on what I meant.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/16/2008 10:07:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan
Actually, I agree with you, LuckyAlbatross. I think you mistook what I was saying. Labels never fit.Sorry I wasn't more clear on what I meant.

So you don't think doms who expect or accept payment are out of line?  You think a dom is still a dom if he doesn't pick up the check, take out the garbage, open the door, and in other words be a stereotypical "man"?  You think a relationship which allows for suchs things can bring out the best in people?



cjan -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/16/2008 10:15:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan
Actually, I agree with you, LuckyAlbatross. I think you mistook what I was saying. Labels never fit.Sorry I wasn't more clear on what I meant.

So you don't think doms who expect or accept payment are out of line?  You think a dom is still a dom if he doesn't pick up the check, take out the garbage, open the door, and in other words be a stereotypical "man"?  You think a relationship which allows for suchs things can bring out the best in people?


Actually, the point I'm trying to make, is that I agree that stereotypes and labels serve no one, and harm many. I know that " judgeing" another person's experience is stupid. I didn't mean to say that..

And, I wonder, wonder who, etc., why you don't cap "Dom"? Just an oversight, or what ? Would you rather pick up the check, pay for the cruise, or what? Not fucking with you, just wondering....



BitaTruble -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/16/2008 10:31:48 PM)

This?

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

I agree that stereotypes and labels serve no one


... and then this?

quote:

And, I wonder, wonder who, etc., why you don't cap "Dom"?


Do you seriously not see the contradiction here? How can you say labels serve no one and in the next breath ask someone why they don't capitalize the word dom?

[8|]

Celeste

edited because I forgot to answer the OP: Yes, males can ask for the exact same things as females and they are just as likely not to get them. So, there ya go.




cjan -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/16/2008 10:37:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

This?

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

I agree that stereotypes and labels serve no one


... and then this?

quote:

And, I wonder, wonder who, etc., why you don't cap "Dom"?


Do you seriously not see the contradiction here? How can you say labels serve no one and in the next breath ask someone why they don't capitalize the word dom?

[8|]

Celeste

edited because I forgot to answer the OP: Yes, males can ask for the exact same things as females and they are just as likely not to get them. So, there ya go.




Ok, you're right, I'm wrong. Excuse me, please. I did`n't mean to "ruffle anyone's feathers"  I'll prolly get shit for that, re:stereotypes, etc... I'm out of this thread. Didn't mean to start any shit, ladies. Carry on.



BitaTruble -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 12:29:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan


Ok, you're right, I'm wrong.


I'm glad you recognized that early on because it's almost always true. [:D]

quote:

Excuse me, please.


You're excused, but don't let it happen again.

quote:

I did`n't mean to "ruffle anyone's feathers" 


Just an FYI .. around this parts the prefered phrase is .. "no need to get your panties twisted" to which many of us respond .. "but, I don't wear panties!"

quote:

 I'll prolly get shit for that, re:stereotypes, etc... I'm out of this thread. Didn't mean to start any shit, ladies. Carry on.


No harm, no foul. Scats a limit with lots of folks.

[;)]

Celeste



Lashra -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 3:16:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Looking4Alphonse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I know a male Dominant who stays at home taking care of his castle while the two slaves he owns go out and work only to turn their paycheck over to their Owner. So yes you do find this in the lifestyle as well.

~Lashra



Thank you for the response Lashra. 

My question is:  Did these slaves have to come to their Male Dominant with coins in hand?  Was it a condition that these slaves 'pay first' to the Male Dominant for his 'command'...?

His view was that slaves are meant to work and serve a Master in whatever capacity he wishes. To him a big part of this was supporting him financially as well. So yes when they came to him they turned over their bank accounts to him right away. He stayed home and "protected" them and his castle(as he called it) while they worked all day long.

Not to much different than a pimp really if you think about it. He "protects" the girls and stays home while they work and hand him their wages on payday.

~Lashra



DesFIP -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 3:43:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Yeah, you're right.  Me obeying my owner by having a particular job and then using that money to pay for us to go on great trips together...obviously bringing out the worst in both of us.

Sheesh, can you believe he ALSO expected me to fold his socks?


We take turns paying when we go out.

But I can one-up you, not only do I wash and fold his socks, I have to find them first. He takes them off and abandons them all over the house. I still haven't figured out how come one was upstairs on top of the desk and the other downstairs on the floor!



daddysliloneds -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 4:36:50 AM)

there has yet to be anybody in my entire life ask me for a tribute, let alone asking me for one and claiming to be a 'dom/master' in the same breath.[:@]



cjan -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 6:00:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan


Ok, you're right, I'm wrong.


I'm glad you recognized that early on because it's almost always true. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s2.gif[/image]

quote:

Excuse me, please.


You're excused, but don't let it happen again.

quote:

I did`n't mean to "ruffle anyone's feathers" 


Just an FYI .. around this parts the prefered phrase is .. "no need to get your panties twisted" to which many of us respond .. "but, I don't wear panties!"

quote:

 I'll prolly get shit for that, re:stereotypes, etc... I'm out of this thread. Didn't mean to start any shit, ladies. Carry on.


No harm, no foul. Scats a limit with lots of folks.

[image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s4.gif[/image]

Celeste
I'm glad we see eye to eye on somethings.

And yes, I said I was out of this thread, but, I like to lurk and learn. And btw, You funny. I mean that in the best way.



Justme696 -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 8:45:00 AM)

she serving me is the tribute she gives.



CalifChick -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 8:52:00 AM)

I have 37 cents, a paper clip, one barbie shoe, and a ball of lint in my pockets. I had a daisy in there from my little one this morning but I took that out already. Sigh. I sure hope that's enough to find a really GOOD Dom.

Cali



liketophoto -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 9:03:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

there has yet to be anybody in my entire life ask me for a tribute, let alone asking me for one and claiming to be a 'dom/master' in the same breath.[:@]


So why would a female D ask?
Because Men pay?
This is all pretty sexist...

Do female subs/slaves pay Female D?



sirguym -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 10:27:07 AM)

I run pony-play events. By the time I have rented the venue, paid for diesel, food, acounted for the acquisition, maintainance and storage of equipment, money I'd otherwise earn if I stayed at my desk, it costs me several hundred pounds. So I charge maybe £120 a head for the 5 or so people who come, whether they are a man, woman, TV or transsexual. Sometimes I make a profit, sometimes a loss.  I have fun, but I cannot afford to do it for charity.

I don't call it tribute, a donation or gift, I call it an admission fee.

I call anyone, whatever their gender, who wants me to give them any goods or service that costs me or anyone else money to provide, a 'free-loader'.

I say NO to free-loaders. If you think that's unreasonable, then I suggest that is your double standard, not mine!

If you think somebody else is a free-loader, it is unwise to judge them, unless you know their full circumstances, there is far too much sanctimonious judgementalism on these boards. You or anyone else can say NO if they wish. Pointing fingers is not only rude and unwise, it is also stupid.



CalifChick -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 10:49:26 AM)

It was about the practice of requesting some sort of tribute.  It wasn't about parties or events. I would be surprised to go to an event that did NOT have some sort of admission fee. 

Cali



SimplyMichael -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 11:23:16 AM)

So funny how we cling to some moral standards and not others.  Men have to respect women as equals but can't be a dom if they ask the woman to pay half or more but nobody blinks an eye if the man pays for everything.

I don't care who pays for what, it is a silly standard by which to judge a relationship.  If both parties are fulfilled and are growing as people, I don't care how they are doing it.  If however, they are not fulfilled and are not growing, I don't care if the dom is as rich as Bill Gates, he is a loser.

A good example of how I view this is a woman who lives with an abusive partner.  She is there of her free will and on some level consents to the abuse.  However, she isn't operating with what I would consider free will, she has mental issues that trap her in that space.  To me, as a dominant, (and LA and I disagree I think on this) I have to not only ensure I have consent from a person freely given, I feel it is my responsibility to examine whether the person is capable of making other choices and yet still chooses me and is accepting what I have to offer from a place of strength rather than weakness.

I don't want "I will accept less than what I want from him because I will do anything to serve him."  To me, that means she isn't freely accepting what I have to offer.  I am only interested in "I understand the limits of what he is offering and those match what I want from him"

That is why I despise a lot of pro-dommes but have no problem with the concept itself.  If someone wants to pay me to dominate them because they want the quality and skill represented by my dominance and for a reason I can accept they don't seek it from an actual partner, I have no problem charging for that service.  I think it is wrong though to charge for service from someone who is hoping it will turn into more or to emotionally trap them in any way.  So, someone who needs to scratch an itch while they look for a partner and so use  a pro-domme who is willing to do that AND further them along the path to finding a genuine relationship, I support that wholeheartedly.




MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 11:32:08 AM)

I'm just old fashion. I always pay the tab and would be embarrassed by my sub doing so. She can however open doors for me. grins. I've gotten quite used to it now.



sirguym -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 11:32:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

It was about the practice of requesting some sort of tribute.  It wasn't about parties or events. I would be surprised to go to an event that did NOT have some sort of admission fee. 

Cali



I agree, but does not stop some girls asking for, or just expecting unasked, a free or reduced fee at events, whether they offer 'benefits in kind', or not.

That to me is just the other side of the coin. I say no, they either pay up and come, or don't and don't. Which is only fair and reasonable.

I occasionally  enjoy spanking girls who like being spanked, if and when any present themselves. I don't demand tribute if I do, as I do it for fun.

But if I were spanking so many that it became a chore, or got in the way of my earning a living, even if it was still fun; sure I would.

I can't see that would be any business of anybody except me, any girl concerned (and possibly the taxman).

I think all the jerks who throw shit at pro-dom(me)s for charging money, for services that costs money to provide, are sanctominious idiots.

Many posts on this thread look to me to be yet another attempt to throw such shit, by people who ought to know better.



subtee -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 12:10:51 PM)

~FR

Let me clarify my "shit."

The OP asks if Male Dominants ask for tributes, donations or gifts. It is not about service, blow jobs, cooking meals or entrance fees or for things that cost money to provide, nor about sharing expenses or even paying for trips to take together. I certainly would pay for any or all of those things. And a bar tab.

It's about tribute: I will be your Dom if you pay for it. I understood the OP to be asking about tribute within the context of a relationship, not a per scene or per diem or any other professional arrangment. The question changes, it seems to me, if looked at as the price of a relationship. Does it not?

I have absolutely no trouble with anyone's relationship dynamic and if a Dom and a sub hooked up and this was their happiness, right on. It's not for me...



CreativeDominant -> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...? (3/17/2008 12:27:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Yes.  But usually they want tribute in the form of how the woman dresses and acts and puts out rather than in the direct form of a physical gift or money.


What she said.


Hmmmmmmmmmmm...but then, couldn't that be turned around and a note made of the fact that many female dominants ask their male submissives to dress in a specific way to please the female dominant (such as wearing feminine attire or feminine underwear) and to act a certain way?  And isn't that expected and not even considered as a way to negate the tribute?

(Me...playing devil's advocate because it is a legit question and, I admit, my mood is funky today [&:])



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