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Curious - 3/18/2008 9:55:29 AM   
LilMissHaven


Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		After reading and posting in the submissive section of this forum on a thread pertaining to submissives getting that missing piece of themselves back when a relationship ends, I began to wonder if Dominants experiance much the same emotion...as if a vital part of yourself is missing?

Just wanting to hear the other side of the fence,
Haven

I apologize for any miscommunication on my part as I've noticed that I did not get the point of the question across and decided to share the link to the original source that got me thinking.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1716736/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1716780

< Message edited by LilMissHaven -- 3/18/2008 10:37:54 AM >

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I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.
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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 9:58:08 AM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Yes

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 10:30:52 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Could you please clarify what you mean by when a relationship ends getting a piece of yourself back. I think I may be misunderstanding.

As Always

Steel

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 10:36:45 AM   
LilMissHaven


Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Could you please clarify what you mean by when a relationship ends getting a piece of yourself back. I think I may be misunderstanding.

As Always

Steel


I apologize Sir, perhaps going straight to the original source will clarify what I'm asking more then I can myself.

Link below

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1716736/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1716780

Respectfully,
Haven

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 11:04:32 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		**Having now read the thread**

I hate the fact that I am sometimes carried with a sub in a negative fashion after a relationship ends and in that regard I feel that I loose a piece of myself.

Now before I get all La-De-Da on the sappy train let me explain.

I have never been the kind of guy who plays with random girls. I have ALWAYS Insisted on Relationships.because of this I was emotionally invested in each individual I shared myself with.

I ofetn look back and think on the girls that have called me Sir, and I miss all but one of them and the part of me that she carries I would not want back, however I still think about her.

I think everything that we do leaves a mark and just as a sub feels it so to does a dom who is invested in that sub.

Steel

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Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 11:17:55 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		 
My Master had a slave, prior to me, who had a lasting effect on him.  I can't speak for him as to whether or not he felt part of himself was missing (I don't think he would put it in those terms), but I know he loved her and missed her a great deal.  They remained in touch for years, and still say hello now and again.  She was a very special girl to him.  She is the only one he still speaks of, and always fondly. 

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 12:04:17 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If my relationship with my slave/wife were to end, it would be devastating to me. So, in my opinion, the answer to your question is yes.

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 1:22:20 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven
I began to wonder if Dominants experiance much the same emotion...as if a vital part of yourself is missing?


I don't think I have ever felt that a piece of myself was missing after a relationship ended.  Instead, I see it more as a part of myself had been changed by the relationship, and that change would not simply revert back instantly, if ever.

I have been changed by every serious relationship I have been in.  I don't think I would classify a relationship as serious if that were not true.  Some of the changes eventually subsided, while others had a dramatic impact on who I am to this very day.  But I think all of that is good...

If you are not growing, you are dying.  Change, while painful, is a necessary part of life.

Taggard


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My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to LilMissHaven)
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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 2:07:38 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		As I alluded to in the other thread. Yes, I have a few empty places in my heart. Unlike some, I don't necessarily view that as a bad thing. It just is what it is.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 2:19:19 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Oh boy....the last one I was with certainly didn't lose a piece of himself.  That would have required him to actually put a bit of himself into the relationship.
Saying he wanted to chop me into pieces would be much more accurate.

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 2:20:59 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Creepy.

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Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Aileen1968)
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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 2:25:09 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Heh heh...I actually meant it in a humorous way.  Forgot to add the

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 4:42:34 PM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		Yes

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See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 7:43:36 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Saying he wanted to chop me into pieces would be much more accurate.


Hey, now that's some kinky shit.

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marie.


I give good agita.









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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 7:47:46 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

After reading and posting in the submissive section of this forum on a thread pertaining to submissives getting that missing piece of themselves back when a relationship ends, I began to wonder if Dominants experiance much the same emotion...as if a vital part of yourself is missing?

Just wanting to hear the other side of the fence,
Haven

I apologize for any miscommunication on my part as I've noticed that I did not get the point of the question across and decided to share the link to the original source that got me thinking.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1716736/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1716780


No.

It just makes me rethink my motivations and methodology.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 8:25:14 PM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		i hope this dosent sound to bizzare lol
when my former master died, there was a huge hole in me
huge. nothing could fill it, i swear i could feel it physicaly.
now that i am with zee, i can still feel the space, but its getting smaller because
zee is filling a new space.

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~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 9:14:38 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domahpet

i hope this dosent sound to bizzare lol
when my former master died, there was a huge hole in me
huge. nothing could fill it, i swear i could feel it physicaly.
now that i am with zee, i can still feel the space, but its getting smaller because
zee is filling a new space.


Not bizarre at all.  I had a rather opposite situation, in that I couldn't empty myself of my ex.  Master put me through what we called my exorcism and I completely purged the guy, and I instantly felt all this room within me, which allowed me to receive my Master even more.  All that space I suddenly felt allowed me to let my Master in more than ever.  It changed everything for us.

(in reply to domahpet)
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RE: Curious - 3/18/2008 10:05:35 PM   
thefirst121


Posts: 28
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

After reading and posting in the submissive section of this forum on a thread pertaining to submissives getting that missing piece of themselves back when a relationship ends, I began to wonder if Dominants experiance much the same emotion...as if a vital part of yourself is missing?

Just wanting to hear the other side of the fence,
Haven



I do not feel I lose a part of myself as, in any relationship I believe it helps one grow. 
 
I learn from the relationship and believe it makes me stronger and better able to work with my next sub.
 
In this way it builds confidence and convinces myself and subsequently my next sub.  As for the sub, if we do our job properly they should feel they have grown as a sub rather than losing a part of themselves, as it is a Doms job to improve the subs perception and understanding of what they are.
 
For what it is worth, this is My belief, I doubt all will agree.

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...Sir K...

(in reply to LilMissHaven)
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RE: Curious - 3/19/2008 2:37:43 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Outside of a relationship, I'm effectively no longer a "Dominant"; just a man....  I s'pose it's the same as a divorced husband; he effectively reverts to just being a man, too - albeit probably a little more emasculated for the experience....  ;-)
 
Not much fun (or point) being a "big, bad Dominant" if you've got no sub to assert or express yourself with.  So one resorts to basic "survival mode" until another opportunity presents itself.
 
Focus.

(in reply to LilMissHaven)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Curious - 3/19/2008 3:55:47 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Yes, we do. To this day, I still feel slave jason's energy behind and to the right. We are still in contact and he still serves on occasion, but it's not the same as when he briefly stayed with me and was in a collar. I've offered a place for him whenever he's ready for it.

It's ok to mourn the loss of someone...even if they're still alive. Mourning is applicable to ANYthing we feel we have lost.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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