Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven
After reading and posting in the submissive section of this forum on a thread pertaining to submissives getting that missing piece of themselves back when a relationship ends, I began to wonder if Dominants experiance much the same emotion...as if a vital part of yourself is missing?
Just wanting to hear the other side of the fence,
Haven
Not always, but sometimes. It varies with the intensity of the relationship, how much of a connection was there to begin with.. and thus how much was lost. For me personally most of the submissives I've known over the years I don't feel any loss about... we just didn't share that much. It was what it was at the time and when it ended, it was over. There have been a few however that were very different. Two in particular come to mind.
One was a girl I only knew through the internet and on the phone. We never actually had the chance to meet, which I've often regretted. Despite that, there was a connection there that was special. It wasn't any one thing in particular but how it all came together. It ended ultimately because at the time there were a lot of changes happening in my life and she needed more stability than I could offer, she was too timid to take the chance. The thing I miss most of all is her friendship, we had such wonderful conversations.
The other I nearly married, I loved her deeply. She died before we could marry, it was unexpected. I felt like part of me had died, and in a sense... part of me had. It took me years to stop grieving. I still miss her and I expect I always will... some things you don't get over, and time does not heal all wounds. But that's okay, I think its how it should be... that lil bit of pain (that resembles sorrow only as the mist resembles the rain) also reminds me of how wonderful the time we did have was... and all the good things we shared. She helped me be a better person, and in an odd way even though she is gone she still is. She left a huge void in my life, and I've found myself expanding as a person to fill that void. I've grown.
There was one other person, not a submissive but a friend, who I lost. She died of cancer, specifically a brain tumor in the choroid plexus. It was a little over two years before it finally killed her. It gave me time to get to know her, enough time to see what a remarkable person she was. She was more than just beautiful, she had a beautiful mind and heart. The world is a little less bright with her absence. I'll not likely forget her either. The strangest thing of all was it was me, not her, that railed so against the dying light. It was me, not her, that would not easily let her slip into that long night. She was far more at peace about it than I ever could be.
So yes, sometimes when a relationship ends it is as though a vital part of me has been lost. But not always. Neither is it always easy to get over and in some ways I don't think you entirely ever do. Then again, I think it would be a crime to forget them... after all, so long as we remember them, part of them is still with us. If they helped us grow and be better than we were, what better way to honor them than to continue to grow, to live the lives they hoped for our sakes that we would.
_____________________________
Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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