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What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 11:54:02 AM   
awakenednj


Posts: 657
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline 		Is there reasoning behind the use of / refraining from the use of a sub/slaves name? (Their normal vanilla name that is.) If it has been not been used, why does it have such an effect when said once?  I am really hoping that someone out there understands this and can help explain it to me...
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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 11:59:04 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		It's a big part of your identity.  That may be taken away from you to make you more humble for a time.  They say that there is nothing that a man likes to hear as much as his own name (no doubt applicable to women, too). 

My Daddy never calls me by name during a session, rarely in an email.  He sometimes calls me C (my first initial) or pet names - I prefer the pet names to my own.  The dynamic will be different for each couple, and depending on each person's mood.


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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 12:14:54 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: awakenednj

Is there reasoning behind the use of / refraining from the use of a sub/slaves name? (Their normal vanilla name that is.) If it has been not been used, why does it have such an effect when said once?  I am really hoping that someone out there understands this and can help explain it to me...


I have never given this much thought at all, actually.  I guess the thrill of it is that it kind of reinforces the dynamic.  When you get a pet, you name it as you please.  So, I guess the concept holds true no matter how many legs the pet prefers to walk on.  My Owner calls me Fox the majority of the time.  She will also call me Shawn when it's appropriate.  I love both of my names, and I put them on equal grounds.

DV's Fox

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 12:23:43 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Is there reasoning behind the use of / refraining from the use of a sub/slaves name? (Their normal vanilla name that is.) If it has been not been used, why does it have such an effect when said once? I am really hoping that someone out there understands this and can help explain it to me..


awakened,

It is a thing of evolution as more individually inclined folks join the path.
In days long past, it was simply a matter of name security that evolved into signifying some characteristic of the person. When if one was collared that name might change to one more to the liking of the dominant. The old ways were more uniform.

example, if your name was Janice and you somewhat hot sexually you nick might have been hotjan and if you were collared to DragonMaster your new nick might have been hotjan (DM) / yhat way you still retained your desired nick but also showed that you were collared to DragonMaster.

Hope this helps.

CP

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 12:32:40 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I hate it if Sir calls me my given name, i dont know why I really dont like it, he named me strawberry pretty much right away (red hair, i blush and im too sweet apparently) and if he says my name then I know he is unhappy with me so I hate it, I love the name strawberry it makes me feel more like i belong I guess. 

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 12:38:19 PM   
chaosforge


Posts: 397
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: The Abyss
Status: offline 		unsure why, but this thread bring to mind being a UM, and hearing one's full name sternly bellowed by whatever authority figure... -just phoenix

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Chaosforge
All begins in chaos and all will end in chaos.
I am that which has always been and will always be.
CHAOS !!!

I am Legion, for we are many.

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 12:45:16 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		I agree I hate it when my daddy calls me by my full name which is Andrea. I hate how it sounds when he says it, he does it to annoy me somtimes because well he can.

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"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 12:46:41 PM   
closetmonkey


Posts: 22
Joined: 3/17/2008
Status: offline 		For me, a name is an instant setting. If someone calls me by my vanilla, normal ol'given name, I am in normal 'mode'... if someone I play with uses a name, pet term, or nickname that relates to the scene... my engines go ON, and I respond appropriately.

I don't live it 24/7 though. If I did, I imagine it would still be similar- a nickname or pet term for a sub can relate all kinds of subtle messages. Are they happy with you? (sweetly done, my cherub...) or are they being firm, using formalities with you? They can humiliate or raise us up with what we're called!


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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 12:47:00 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		My wifes name is Andrea as well and she hates being called anything but Andi by anyone. I LOVE the name Andrea what is it about that name that girls just don't like?

Steel

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Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 1:09:49 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I hate it if Sir calls me my given name, i dont know why I really dont like it, he named me strawberry pretty much right away (red hair, i blush and im too sweet apparently) and if he says my name then I know he is unhappy with me so I hate it, I love the name strawberry it makes me feel more like i belong I guess. 
 It is a bit similiar with us except for the unhappy bit. When he calls me Jennifer it means I really need to pay attention to his words beyond the normal attention I give him. A little like having a leash tugged I think lol.

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 1:10:33 PM   
chaosforge


Posts: 397
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: The Abyss
Status: offline 		well, myself, i'd much rather be addressed by a pet name than my given name. it seem's as though, that's the name He has given to me, and therefore means more to U/us. sara is a rather lack luster appelation, and sara-rhiannon means i'm in trouble as long as i am called by something along the line of "love" or "sweetie", i know i'm in His favor.-just phoenix

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Chaosforge
All begins in chaos and all will end in chaos.
I am that which has always been and will always be.
CHAOS !!!

I am Legion, for we are many.

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 1:13:05 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		Generally if my real name is used, i know i am either dangerously close to crossing a line and getting in trouble, or already there.  Usually there are pet names used instead, which can vary due to His mood, inclination, or the situation at hand. 

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 1:26:50 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		I don't have a pet name and He rarely calls me by my real name.  There just aren't many occasions where He'd need to address me by my given name, but when He does, it feels....... I don't know.... almost weird or uncomfortable and I'm not exactly sure why.

I rarely call Him by His given name for the same reason.  It just doesn't feel right coming out of my mouth.  I only call Him 'Master' when we are engaged in play and/or sex.  I don't think He'd be comfortable with me calling Him 'Master' at any other time.  And for me, there's still this residual thingy in my head because I always referred to my former dominant as 'Master'.

Odd that a name can conjure so many mixed emotions.




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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 1:54:01 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: awakenednj

Is there reasoning behind the use of / refraining from the use of a sub/slaves name? (Their normal vanilla name that is.) If it has been not been used, why does it have such an effect when said once?  I am really hoping that someone out there understands this and can help explain it to me...


Names can be quite powerful - it's how the rest of the world knows you. Your name carries weight, it means something when your name is tarnished. In The Crucible, the main character chose to hang rather than have his name put on the church door as a witch, though he falsely confessed to save his life. One of his last lines is "Give me my name!"

To take away a person's name, or to rename them, is a huge excerise in control. They are no longer what they were, they are simply "slut". It could be used to show that they are not their own anymore, they are their owner's to with as their owner pleases.

It's not a practice I've encountered personally, nor is it something Valyraen has interest in. I am Aqua, his girl. He has pet names for me, but he has no desire to take my name away.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 2:21:53 PM   
slavesunshine


Posts: 58
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline 		When I met my Master, he gave me my name...sunshine. He has never called me by my given name since I became his. The day I became his, he gave me the name he wanted me to have.
I do not ever refer to my Master by his name if I am speaking directly to him, he considers that to be disrespectful. If I am talking to others such as my family or friends I do call him by his name.
Master also always called me Mel before he named me and before I became his. (short for Melissa)
I am so used to my name "sunshine" that its hard for me to answer to anything else.

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slavesunshine

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 3:47:34 PM   
bostoy


Posts: 18
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I hate it if Sir calls me my given name, i dont know why I really dont like it, he named me strawberry pretty much right away (red hair, i blush and im too sweet apparently) and if he says my name then I know he is unhappy with me so I hate it, I love the name strawberry it makes me feel more like i belong I guess. 


My Dom only uses my given name when he really wants me to hear what he is saying.  It's usually a very good thing he is telling me.  It is so rare, however, that I am taken aback when he uses my given name.

toy

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 4:40:47 PM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		Various reasons.
De personalising someone
Annonimity
For some it may more refoect who they are then their given name at birth.


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See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 4:50:46 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Names have power.   Names are innately tied to identity.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_500836/mpage_1/key_name/tm.htm#501697
How did you choose your name?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_477375/mpage_1/key_name/tm.htm#477375
Explain your name

http://www.collarchat.com/m_23816/mpage_1/key_choose%252Cname/tm.htm#23816
How did you decide on a bdsm name?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_366245/mpage_1/key_name/tm.htm#366245
How did you get your name?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_53130/mpage_1/key_name/tm.htm#53130
How did you decide on your screen name?



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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 6:56:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I never asked, but I believe he refrained from using my given first name as a way of transferring my identity so that I thought of myself as his, rather than as me.  I suppose it's similar to those who are required to speak in 3rd person or to not use possessives in speaking.  When he uses my actual first name, it's usually in bringing me out of that delirious state of "space" or to snap me into attention when needed.

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RE: What's in a name? - 3/18/2008 7:00:22 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		If I rename someone, I basically negate a lot of thier history. Choices thier parents made for them-thier relatives, peers. Every time I use that name-they get reminded of that fact.

She's in MY world now-I'm not in hers.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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