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To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:01:01 PM   
Awakener


Posts: 88
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline 		I was invited to watch a scene this afternoon, and as I did, I noticed something. And I am very curious to see how others might feel about this.
The couple have not been togethor long. It is a male Dom and Female sub. As her Master did some of the more delicious things to her,she would begin to cry out. Everytime she started to, he would shush her. Eventually as I watched, I realized I could see on her masters face, that her cries inhibited him. Made him hold back, and that this was the reason he would not allow her to vocalize.
I am the exact opposite of this. The more vocal I can get her the better. Hearing her cry out simply makes me hungrier, rather than intimidateing me.
I do seem to be in the minority though. For many whom I have talked with and much I have witnessed seems to prove that Silence is golden.
I had often thought this was simply a practicul concern, as the nieghbors might not complain about a women moaning loudy in obvious pleasure, but might call the cops if they hear her screaming and whimpering.
So am I in the minority, and if so why. Is it practicul or does it inhibit??
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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:08:24 PM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline 		To each thier own, I like them being vocal, that is of course until they are flying in subspace. But if he finds that her vocalization breaks his concentration then he is right to shush her.

(in reply to Awakener)
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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:08:33 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		*shrug*
It is not at all uncommon for people to have difficulty coming to terms with their sadism, even if they intellectually know it's fine. This is especially true for newbies.

It is not at all uncommon for dominants to train their subs to be stoic during beatings, in fact it's almost mainstream in the UK. It's just a matter of preference of style and attitude.

(in reply to Awakener)
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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:14:25 PM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

t is not at all uncommon for dominants to train their subs to be stoic during beatings, in fact it's almost mainstream in the UK.


Sorry but where do you get this from? I have been to lots of clubs and play parties on both sides of the atlantic and one of the things we have in common, is the amount of moans and cries coming from the subs/slaves

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:23:05 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev
Sorry but where do you get this from? I have been to lots of clubs and play parties on both sides of the atlantic and one of the things we have in common, is the amount of moans and cries coming from the subs/slaves

From living in Ireland and being part of the scene there for 6 months. No, I wasn't in the UK part of Ireland, but many people who came to the events were and we had many discussions. As well I have many friends who formerly lived in the UK or who still live there.

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:26:21 PM   
Awakener


Posts: 88
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline 		In the US as well. Most do seem to prefer stoic silence. But Why???? to each is own just is not satisfying.

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:59:52 PM   
RainGod


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline 		Personally, the loud cries are part of it to Me. I want it. I need it. The experience just isn't the same.

Kinda like... who would go buy a 1963 split-window Corvette and install a very quiet muffler system on it? The sound is part of the ride....

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 5:07:51 PM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev
Sorry but where do you get this from? I have been to lots of clubs and play parties on both sides of the atlantic and one of the things we have in common, is the amount of moans and cries coming from the subs/slaves

From living in Ireland and being part of the scene there for 6 months. No, I wasn't in the UK part of Ireland, but many people who came to the events were and we had many discussions. As well I have many friends who formerly lived in the UK or who still live there.


Well they been to clubs I never been to and I've been to most on the main land one time or another. Wonder what its like going to a club as quiet as a morgue? As for Ireland even Northern Ireland don't know about clubs there and can't see how you can paint whole of UK with the same green brush.

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 6:37:52 PM   
greenie


Posts: 579
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline 		a Dom that i'm involved with loves it when i cry. The more tears and the louder i cry out the happier He is.

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 6:52:31 PM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		I know my Master wants me to vocalize more than I do. He says that the more vocal I am the better He can do His work on me!

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 6:59:49 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		I like her to vocalize. It tells me how well I'm doing and 'where' she is.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 7:03:48 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
quote:

I do seem to be in the minority though. For many whom I have talked with and much I have witnessed seems to prove that Silence is golden.... So am I in the minority, and if so why. Is it practicul or does it inhibit??


I dunno what's most common, but I'm with you. Not sure why someone would want total silence except for practical reasons or perhaps to show that the sub is forced to take everything and not allowed the normal outlet of emotion. I might actually try the silence thing sometime to see if my sub enjoys being forced to hold everything in, but I would never want it to be the normal state of affairs, I just enjoy crying and begging too much :)

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 8:39:37 PM   
mystictryst


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		I can only share with you my initial confusion over whether I should vocalize or not...

For a while, I tried to be very still, not releasing a wimper and trying so hard not to flinch... Then other times my voice would betray the silence and cry out.

I don't recall how long it took me to ask Master what he preferred... His response to me was to do what my body felt was right... Cry out if I needed to, be silent if I wanted to... Sometimes he shushed me, but more because I enjoy denial...

My fear with any type of vocalization is coming across sounding like bad porn.. *lol*

< Message edited by mystictryst -- 9/28/2005 8:40:39 PM >

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 9:20:06 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

So am I in the minority, and if so why. Is it practicul or does it inhibit??


I'm wondering if maybe that dominant has a problem accepting what he's doing to his girl, and feels guilty if she whimpers or struggles, and that's why he wants her to be silent.

For myself, when Master is granting me pain, I'm usually mostly quiet, but particularly strong blows or surprises will definitely get a vocal AND physical reaction from me.

On my Top side, I can't stand it if the bottom is stoic and doesn't make a sound or even flinch. I get off on his struggles, and if he's not struggling, I'm not having any fun.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 3:26:55 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		i play very quiet. I was with a extreme sadist and for me to reach sub space i would concentrate on what was happening and in actuality i was as quiet as a mouse. For some they scene loudly. its all individual.

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 5:38:29 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		growling, snarling, yelling, crying & thrashing around

silent, calm & compliant

it's all good, so long as the energy is there

MP

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 7:03:51 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I have no problem with moans of pleasure and delight , but if do find it becoming distractive....well, there is a gag, duct tape, and handkerchief that I can use very effectively, while playing and "echoes, in the sound of silence."



_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 7:39:23 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

it's all good, so long as the energy is there


So true!

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 8:00:06 AM   
pastplayingames


Posts: 50
Status: offline
quote:

Then other times my voice would betray the silence and cry out.


mystictryst,

This phrase resonated with me when I read it. That is often what I feel when I do cry out...a betrayal. More specifically, a betrayal of my willingness to surrender.

For me, it is only painful when I resist it. When it becomes acceptance, it is something incredibly beautiful shared with my partner. In those moments of surrendering and acceptance of it, the energy rushes through me and I am at peace....a quiet centeredness of spirit. And as the intensity of his blows increases, my surrender grows.

There are moments where I do ultimately cry out...on that edge, where I struggle to surrender to the sweet suffering at his hand more. And when I do cry out, I feel a sense of failing in my desire to surrender to him....to suffer for him, because he desires it.

This has been my experience and how I relate to pain. Although it has been over a year since being truly whipped, I would think it is still the same for me. As it would be, I may find out if this is still the case very soon.

~Christine

< Message edited by pastplayingames -- 9/29/2005 8:44:10 AM >

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RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 8:52:37 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		my ex preferred silence in the early (i.e., nilla) days of our marriage, which worked out fine once we had small pattering feet in the house..lol..

It was that way for over 26 years, so imagine my surprise when the first couple of doms i was with wanted me to be vocal. While really difficult for me to change my mindset, it made a huge difference in the way i started viewing scenes and sex...<grins> Since then i've learned to ask, especially when i'm with someone i haven't scened with before. For my own needs, i find i can accept more pain and reach subspace quicker if i'm not concentrating on which way to bem but..am just me.. The biggest "problem" i have with that, however, is that, for myself, is giving my Master what he wants and needs that is most important to me, but which i sometimes find distracting.

cheers
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





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