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"The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 5:33:53 AM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
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This is an article re-printed from www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html By Mistress Steel

I find the article fascinating on many levels and am interested in peoples points of views regarding this topic ,who care to share them.

The 'Good' Submissive

Good - better - best - favorable - bountiful - fertile - handsome - attractive - suitable - fit - profitable - advantageous - pleasant - agreeable - salutary - wholesome - amusing - clever - considerable - ample - full - well-founded - cogent - real - actualized...

Sufficient to understand why when the word is used no one quite knows exactly what is meant. What is a good submissive? Is it any or all of the things above, even when those things seem contradictory? Why do we feel the need to clarify or narrowly identify this special condition?

<snip>

[Mod Note: the article can be read in it's entirety at the following link - http://www.steel-door.com/good_submissive.htm]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 3/22/2008 8:31:32 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 5:40:15 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Wow how amazingly noble I am, and here I was thinking it got me off
btw the link doesnt work

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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Post #: 2

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 6:06:16 AM

SimplyMichael

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What a load of overblown hyperbole. Great stuff for snagging women off the internet though, I mean who wouldn't want to be that! However, there isn't a practical suggestion anywhere in there on how to achieve any of that.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 3

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 6:28:36 AM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

Sheesh, I have too much debris in my life for that crap.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 4

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 6:45:06 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

my submissive is the only good one for me, that is all I need to know ;)

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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

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Post #: 5

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 6:47:06 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita

Sheesh, I have too much debris in my life for that crap.

yep

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 6

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 7:34:14 AM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline

**fast response not directed to sirsholly**

That website was one of the better ones i came across as i was breaking free from my own shell a few years ago and i had a couple of good online mentors as well. i had no idea such a lifestyle existed so it has been an interesting journey to say the least. below is an excerpt that i wrote last fall when asked when i started to value myself as a submissive and a "high end submissive" at that.

it was funny, when i went to my 20 year high school reunion, i really did stick out like a sore thumb but in a positive way. the few friends that i had, said that i hadn't changed at all and those that never knew me nor even wanted to, suddenly were very interested in who i was and why i went so unnoticed in high school. it was odd to have that kind of attention. *grin* even the ever handsome football quarterback wanted my attention at the reunion and he also wanted an explanation as to how i managed to escape his attention in high school.
i was blushing like a virgin on her wedding night. just absolutely beside myself but i seemed to be the life of the party and not at all the "wallflower" that some of the popular girls had labled me in high school. the thing is, i wasn't even trying to get attention, but i was helping the woman that coordinated the reunion and was trying to make sure that everyone was having a good time. i was so being whispered about and felt so self conscious but that weekend did miraculous wonders for my ego even through all of my embarrassing blushing. for somebody that hasn't changed that much since high school, i just didn't understand what the big deal was all about. it still baffles me. i feel like i am still the same person, just as nice, just as shy, only wiser.

though i have always been naturally submissive, i had just come into my own self acceptance as a submissive when i attended the reunion, my confidence in my own being was high and though i didn't let anybody know what i was about, the inner confidence that i felt came from knowing, that not one of those people there could hold any power over me or shake my new found understanding. for once in my life i knew myself better than anybody else and nothing could take that away from me, not even the whispers. in that weekend, for the first time in my life, i felt empowered and strong and it was all because of them! a wonderful mystery that they wanted to discover would remain forever hidden, none of them will ever truly know me nor realize how they helped make me grow as an individual. they actually fed me a confidence they once took from me, when i was the 'new girl' trying to fit in. karma can be sooo sweet! unlike most of them in high school i was far from rude and very cordial to even those that mistreated me the most in high school.
one girl, on the very last night, the one that did the most damage in high school ( i was always nice to her in hs as well during the weekend) had also done the most whispering behind her hands all weekend, came up to me at the very end and asked me for my forgiveness.... it was really very strange, but i gave her a hug and told her that i already had, she just stared dumbfounded for a moment and was at a loss for words and then i hugged her again and whispered to her that everything truly was ok and that i felt bad that she carried guilt for so long and in fact, i hated that she harbored so much pain and guilt for that many years. i told her i was so proud of the strength and courage that it took her to approach me at all and that the only thing left to do was for her to forgive herself. when i let go of her and pulled away, she had tears in her eyes and in a very soft whisper she choked out the words 'thank you' as she walked quickly away. my heart still goes out to her. at first i felt guilty, it took a few minutes of processing for me to realize that she had done that to herself and that i truly had nothing to feel bad about, it was her issue, not mine. but it truly does distress me to think that i have upset somebody

i believe the rest of the shell was removed from my very core when my former owner outed me to my own father....(found in a different thread).

My point of all of this, Thank God, it snagged me off of the internet! i hated running around clueless!!! i finally understand myself, i finally accept myself, and i am a pretty good submissive with my own quiet strength. i would be an even better slave if i could find one to serve. Where is the website explaining the "The GooD Dom"?

< Message edited by OTKkindaGirl -- 3/22/2008 8:16:40 AM >

_____________________________

~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 7

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 7:41:50 AM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline

What a bunch of BS

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Princess Andie

"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 8

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 7:48:26 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

{{ Why do we feel the need to clarify or narrowly identify this special condition? I don't. uhm...Is submission a "special condition" ?? Subjective ~ of, relating to, or constituting a subject or characteristic of one that is subject especially in lack of freedom of action or in submissiveness. We say that good is subjective or based on the individual or independent perspective of the individual rendering an evaluation of value. What is this intense need to set standards of measure and evaluation?}}

I do set and have standards for myself. I do the best I can at what I attempt and try to learn something new each day.
But comparing myself and/or my submission to anyone elses is useless energy spent.
As far as my submission > The only persons "evaluation" that is important to me is Tyson's.
I am his submissive and he tells me all the time " mmmm you're sooo good" so I must be a good submissive...

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 9

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:16:33 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

btw the link doesnt work

The link works if you remove "by Mistress Steel". He didnt put a space after "html" so it messed things up: www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 10

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:20:10 AM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

What a load of overblown hyperbole. Great stuff for snagging women off the internet though, I mean who wouldn't want to be that! However, there isn't a practical suggestion anywhere in there on how to achieve any of that.

Many things can act to aid the submissive in this process of emergent birth through tools of understanding, new pathways of thought and the support of others who have emerged before them in words of encouragement and embracement.

Perhaps you just skimmed over this part?

_____________________________

~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 11

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:20:32 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Maybe I'm reading a different article than everyone else, lol. I read the article to say submission lies at a person's core, and once you remove all the crap that the world loads on us, you can flourish as the person you really are.

I don't see anything wrong with that particular message.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 12

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:27:07 AM

burningdesires47

Posts: 120
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

paragraphs FTW

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 13

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:41:02 AM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Maybe I'm reading a different article than everyone else, lol. I read the article to say submission lies at a person's core, and once you remove all the crap that the world loads on us, you can flourish as the person you really are.

I don't see anything wrong with that particular message.

I have to agree with this. The message in total was hard to read because of the language used. But in essence it says that to get to a good submissive you have to remove the extra crap from their lives and get to the core of who they are.

Which is true. Again I will use My kitten as an example. She felt, as I have stated on a different thread, that she was in the way this past weekend, because she didnt come here with loads of money to spend, and coulnt "contribute" to the house...never minding that she always helps clean or what have you....but from her past she is used to people not needing or wanting her the instant that she stops having the ability to give them gifts. I had to paddle her, to get her to say out loud that she is important just because of who she is not because of what she gives.

Kitten is VERY submissive...but shes had years of crap and training to teach her that she is wortless or that she has to stand firm to get some where.

To get to the core of the submissive you have to work past the baggage and the bull shit that other people, other Dominants, parents, kids in school, past employers, what ever have put into their heads...when you get to the core, when you hit the center of who that person is...then you see the true beauty of the submission with in them. Its about the part of a person that you cant touch...that you cant tame...that they GIVE you...not that you take from them, make of them or change about them....but what they give you....that core...that untouched part...

Read it again....pay attention...look beyond the language...its really got alot of decent points.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 14

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:43:00 AM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

What a load of overblown hyperbole. Great stuff for snagging women off the internet though, I mean who wouldn't want to be that! However, there isn't a practical suggestion anywhere in there on how to achieve any of that.

"At some point the submissive begins tearing down the walls of their 'shell' or 'egg' to reveal or give birth to themselves in their natural form. Many things can act to aid the submissive in this process of emergent birth through tools of understanding, new pathways of thought and the support of others who have emerged before them in words of encouragement and embracement. But, the actual shape or design of the individual cannot be molded at actualization. If this were true it would mean that again the submissive can be 'created' from something that it isn't. Emergence is not the action of molding, training, modeling or shaping of some indistinct mass but instead the simple straight forward casting off of the ill-fitting expectations and assumptions of those surrounding them, the removal of things which no longer work for the individual but have been outgrown and need to be discarded or removed. Revealment of the core requires that the individual face and confront at every juncture those things which have produced and maintained the shell inside of which they have hidden from view. These things are personal fears of the judgment of others, shame in the inner belief of the purity of the self, guilt in the inability to truthfully adhere to the desires and needs of others expectations of them and finally pain."
"

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 15

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:45:02 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

Good - better - best - favorable - bountiful - fertile - handsome - attractive - suitable - fit - profitable - advantageous - pleasant - agreeable - salutary - wholesome - amusing - clever - considerable - ample - full - well-founded - cogent - real - actualized...

Well I wouldnt agree with this, why do you have to be amusing? or clever? or fit?

I think the problem with the artical is that it gives a list of things that people need to be to be submissive, I am sure that not all submissives are 'submissive to their core' Ceno was a sub before he became Dom, and he isnt naturally submissive at all. And what about switches?

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 16

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:45:52 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Kitten is VERY submissive...

That's the sort of comment I will never understand. "very" to one person can mean "barely" to another

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Post #: 17

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:48:00 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

the good submissive doesn't come from some cookie-cutter mold and is only as good as/for the one person to whom they wish to yield/differ. this means that what is good for you may not be even remotely close to what will be good for another.

it's kind of like when someone asks: what do you have to offer or bring to the table as my submissive? well hot damn, i offer nothing, but if you get to know me and i you, and we're on the same level, then what i have to offer you and/or a relationship between the two of us, will be apparent, naturally. if not, then somewhere down the road, there will be someone else, completely different, that will suit our needs; the benefits of being individuals and not being someone elses' version of what is 'good'.

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 18

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:50:05 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

Good - better - best - favorable - bountiful - fertile - handsome - attractive - suitable - fit - profitable - advantageous - pleasant - agreeable - salutary - wholesome - amusing - clever - considerable - ample - full - well-founded - cogent - real - actualized...

Well I wouldnt agree with this, why do you have to be amusing? or clever? or fit?

I do because it pleases my Master. I couldn't say for anyone else. I think the idea, however, is to suggest being a well rounded and healthy person. And how can that be a bad thing?

quote:

I think the problem with the artical is that it gives a list of things that people need to be to be submissive, I am sure that not all submissives are 'submissive to their core' Ceno was a sub before he became Dom, and he isnt naturally submissive at all. And what about switches?

Then perhaps Ceno wasn't being true to himself yet as a submissive. Or perhaps Ceno had met someone who had brought that side of him out. We don't really know, without asking Ceno. :)

The idea is that anyone is their true self when you get to their core - be they vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, or any assortment of flavors. Strip away the baggage and you get to the person. The article just happens to be talking about submissives. She is not saying this theory applies ONLY to submissives, however.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 19

RE: "The GooD Submissive" - 3/22/2008 8:53:48 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

I guess it depends how you read it, I just think that anything that says to feel this way you have to be like this is crap I feel the way that I feel because that is how I feel end of, I agree that we should be true to ourselves but there isnt a list of rules and regulations describing to me how I need to be to be true to myself, maybe true to myself is being boring, thick, unfit, does that mean I am then not a sub?

< Message edited by colouredin -- 3/22/2008 8:54:16 AM >

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 20

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