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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 8:27:42 AM

camille65

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I have felt that way my entire life, I don't think it is all that uncommon. I feel disconnected, that there are loads of social rules I just plain don't get or don't know about. That there is 'girly stuff' that eludes me no matter how much I read lol.All sorts of things like that. Sometimes I wonder if everyone is just bluffing their way through life and perhaps I'm not a good bluffer.

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 6:28:15 PM

charmdpetKeira

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Hello, Pa Hb

I am glad that you are able to see some progress from your efforts; much continued successes.

Camille,

Yeah, I’ve never understood a lot of the “girly stuff” either.

Oh well, more for those who do, right?

My best,

k

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 7:20:14 PM

Pyrrsefanie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira
Do you often feel like you are “going through the motions”?

With my everyday "normal" life, most certainly. I'm not really suitable for consumption by most of society, no matter how hard I try... it just doesn't work.

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 7:33:56 PM

charmdpetKeira

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

With my everyday "normal" life, most certainly. I'm not really suitable for consumption by most of society, no matter how hard I try... it just doesn't work.

I am wondering what type of environment you live in; city, country, ext…

It appears as though you are being consumed by the mundane, or what some would call “normal”.

The problem might be that you are not getting enough back in return, to cause a replenishing of energy.

Just guessing.

My best,

k

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 7:37:12 PM

Pyrrsefanie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

With my everyday "normal" life, most certainly. I'm not really suitable for consumption by most of society, no matter how hard I try... it just doesn't work.

I am wondering what type of environment you live in; city, country, ext…

It appears as though you are being consumed by the mundane, or what some would call “normal”.

The problem might be that you are not getting enough back in return, to cause a replenishing of energy.

Suburbs. I'm the caretaker for my grandparents, so I live with them.

My boy, sadly, lives back up in New England, which is where I moved down here from. He and I will be reunited in a couple of months, but until then, the past stretch of time has been... well, mundane is an understatement.

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 7:50:09 PM

charmdpetKeira

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Oh, yes; that would explain a lot.

Glad to hear things will be looking up soon.

Might I suggest some photography of nature, in the mean time; something colorful?

My best,

k

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 8:25:47 PM

MissHarlet

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From: El Paso , TX US
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I came to terms years ago with being different when I understood that if my family was normal I was happy to be " different " and made a point of being myself .... I no longer care if it is what anyone else thinks I need to be or not ... nor do I explain myself to anyone ... but then I also am a private person that believe that people at work .. or the neighbors or etc ... are on a need to know basis .. and very few need to know ....

All I have to do is be true to myself ..... what is is .. and unless I accept myself there is no reality in my life ... and you can not change anything if you dont first accept what IS...

Im not perfect .. but I am ME

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 9:23:21 PM

charmdpetKeira

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

Im not perfect .. but I am ME

Amen.

k

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 9:35:27 PM

MissHarlet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

Im not perfect .. but I am ME

This above all else is what I think we need to keep as our primary affirmation .. or the variation that I use that is " I am the most perfect ME there is " ....

They both keep me on the right path

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 10:03:44 PM

petdave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira
I think backwards
I am undereducated for the thoughts I have
My focus falls on other aspects, of the same priorities, as most
My compass does not point North
And if I came with a map; I’v lost the freakin’ thing

A couple more thoughts, since i'm a little more lucid (?) tonite...

Saying that you're undereducated for the thoughts you have is a matter of internalizing (incompletely) values that are not yours. It's something of a paradox. If you're having those thoughts, you clearly have the necessary education to bring them to life. If there are questions still unanswered, it merely means that you have more to learn, which is inherent in the human condition. Anyone who thinks that they know "enough" is irredeemably ignorant. Socrates said it (more or less), and if no one has proven different in the past couple millenia then it must be true.

The last three statements that i quoted all seem to point at the same thing, to me. Your core values and society's core values have diverged.

i diggit.

Personally, i don't place any particular value on Homo Sapiens. This is perhaps maladaptive. i've learned to fake it when socially necessary, and that's as far as it goes. Sick people, sick cows, sick trees, it's all the same... Bury them before they make me sick, and don't bug me. Wrong planet? Perhaps.

Society values success, achievement, competition, Careers(tm). All i want is someone to belong to and please, and some machinery to tinker with. You wanna be the best? Fine. You're the best. Whatever.

As far as thinking backwards goes, for weeks i tried and failed to memorize how to tie a necktie. A stupid, trivial thing. Finally, i sat down with a piece of rope, and kept playing with it until i made a noose. Then i worked backwards from there until i had an overhand knot. Once i took those steps for myself i never had a problem with it.

Lesson: Sometimes it's a matter of making sense of all the small pieces so that you can put together the big picture; sometimes it's a matter of figuring out how the big picture works so that you can break it down into smaller parts, and sometimes it just comes down to figuring out the joke. The trick is to determine which way you need to go, before everyone else realizes that you don't know.

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/24/2008 11:01:15 PM

charmdpetKeira

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quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

Saying that you're undereducated for the thoughts you have is a matter of internalizing (incompletely) values that are not yours.

I was more or less referring to my natural interest in philosophy. I have read very little literature on the subject, and have no formal training in it; yet many of my thoughts are consistent with some impressively learned people, throughout history.

Most of what I believe, I learned from observation and experience.

Without the credentials to back up what I say,… well, “resource please”.

More education would be welcomed, but I’m a little restricted to “self teaching”, at this time; kind of busy running the rat race, and trying not to get sucked into the undertow.

quote:

The last three statements that i quoted all seem to point at the same thing, to me. Your core values and society's core values have diverged.

Yes, do you think it’s fatal?

I wouldn’t go so far as to say “know”, but I definitely think and feel things.

quote:

You wanna be the best? Fine. You're the best. Whatever.

Not best; most productive according to my capabilities.

I think part of my problem is, I’m not sure I’m interpreting the puzzle accurately; and if I am, I have no idea where to begin.

k

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/25/2008 2:45:00 AM

Hippiekinkster

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Joined: 11/20/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

Like you don’t belong here? And when I say here, I mean this planet.

I get this feeling a lot.

Not too long ago, I had a friend tell me, something like; I need to try to think more like everyone else.

I know he only said it in trying to be helpful, because he cares, and I do appreciate it.

The problem is, I was already trying to do that; obviously, with little success.

So I decided to just try being me. Yeah….

Any who; if you do feel like that, ever, and wouldn’t mind sharing, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks

k

Just go ahead and be you. I mean, I'm completely socially unacceptable if I "uncensor" myself, which I do every once in a while.

Anyway, not really, but yes, sometimes. I more feel a stranger in the US. I mean, these people walking in parades armed to the teeth demonstrating how peaceful they are... OK. Something like 80% are dedicated churchgoers, and supposedly believe in the message Hay-soos taught, but they still can't wrap their puny little minds around "do unto others"... They claim to believe God tasked them with a sacred duty to husband the earth, and all that live on it, while at the same time they can't burn crude fast enough. They claim to believe in "live and let live", yet they are fine with police filling up prisons (private jails, mind you) with harmless pot-smokers, while letting white-collar thieves go free. I mean, here we are, on a site that proudly proclaims "Free Speech Coalition" yet we can't talk about what newspapers talk about every day. Anyone see the irony in that? DO you, # eleven? Well, Virginia's always been a freaky place. Lots of pussy, but freaky. Especially the Fan District and the area around Falls Church.

Yeah, I sort of feel like I don't belong here. I mean, used to be that I'd hook up with a kinky chick and we didn't feel the need to open a public dungeon to affirm the fact. So much of this scene is like the Weekend Warriors SF thing where stockbrokers/boys, housewives, and so on, all did their straight thing during the week, then they'd don their gay apparel and Freak. It's still gay apparrel, black leather, no arms/sleeves, chains, belts, blah blah. Like a cross between Castro Street, The Avalon Ballroom, and a crank-fueled chopper run up to the Muir Woods to blast some Jeff Airplane at the leaping gnomes over in the Cathedral jerking off over the WSJ. Ronnie and Dickie and Jimmy C all pulling their puds in the annual affirmation of American Aryan-ness.

Grace, you fucked up. Nixon needed at least a thousand mics. Clitton didn't inhale, and the Smirking Chimp inhaled too much. Blake, don't give those Yankee Bush whackjobs any mushrooms. They'd miss the point. Luckenback, Texas, with Waylon, Willie, and the boys. Don't Bogart that bag of buttons, my friend. I'll be back, I have to puke. Flashing is next to internal cleanliness. Greasy fish-dicks and buttons don't mix at all.

OK wait, I'm getting tuned in.... turned on.... drop some more. Tim knows. Alan knows. Alpert knows. Hollingshead knows. See you in 12 hours. (the preceeding was not meant to make sense in any way except the most superficial.)

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/25/2008 6:46:23 AM

petdave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira
I was more or less referring to my natural interest in philosophy. I have read very little literature on the subject, and have no formal training in it; yet many of my thoughts are consistent with some impressively learned people, throughout history.

Most of what I believe, I learned from observation and experience.

Understood. i'm the same way with mechanical things; i have a natural understanding of things like aerodynamics and engineering (to a point). But learning gained through observation and experience is every bit as valid as that which is gained through formal study... you are educated, you just don't have the statement to prove it. Saying that you're not educated enough is selling yourself short.

quote:

More education would be welcomed, but I’m a little restricted to “self teaching”, at this time; kind of busy running the rat race, and trying not to get sucked into the undertow.

i am SO with you on that... My poor dusty bookshelf. If you're not the lead rat, the view never changes

quote:

quote:

The last three statements that i quoted all seem to point at the same thing, to me. Your core values and society's core values have diverged.

Yes, do you think it’s fatal?

Fatal as in deadly, or fatal as in irreconcilable? There are schools of thought to say that you can internalize values that are not your own via repetition and cognitive dissonance ("fake it 'til you make it", etc), but i have my doubts... i've always been of the "fake it 'til no one is watching" school. i tend to think of it as permanent. No one else can know if it's too pronounced to maintain.

Edited to add a /. Pesky buggers.

< Message edited by petdave -- 3/25/2008 6:47:31 AM >

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RE: Do you ever get the feeling… - 3/25/2008 10:20:58 AM

charmdpetKeira

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quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

But learning gained through observation and experience is every bit as valid as that which is gained through formal study... you are educated, you just don't have the statement to prove it. Saying that you're not educated enough is selling yourself short.

Oh yeah; like saying my truth is not valid.
Ummm, why would someone doubt their own truth?
Perhaps if my study of choice had a little more solidity to it, I wouldn’t feel so illusive; the downside I suspect, but necessary for the trade.
Hmmmm… funny how that works.

quote:

i am SO with you on that... My poor dusty bookshelf. If you're not the lead rat, the view never changes

Yes, but I believe, front rat only gets to be guinea pig first.
Maybe we should stop pretending to be rats?
Someone once told me, something like, "we wouldn’t dream of things we were not able to accomplish", do you think that’s true?
I appreciate your insight.
My best,
k

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