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RE: Age - Respect? - 3/23/2008 7:27:50 PM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MD1Master

Your profile indicates that you are 19 years old.

When I view his profile, it says 20.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MD1Master
For me, that is way to close to legal age limits.  Also, do you appear that you could potentially be less than 18 years old?  If this is the case, it should not surprise you that people shy from you.  I can think of few sins worse than children and better to error on the side of conservatism. 

Very much disagreed.  I don't view legality as anything important.  I avoid being caught for illegal activities but I don't incorporate laws (arbitrary subjective rules imposed by people who don't know me) as my own morality.

Young submissives are highly prized over "experienced" or even simply older ones, to me.  18?  Awesome.  16?  Probably even better.

(in reply to MD1Master)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/23/2008 7:56:04 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		A 17 y.o. with a 16 y.o., no law broken. A 40 y.o. with a 16 y.o.? Sex offender.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/23/2008 7:57:39 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		A few different things here.

To begin, your age isn't going to matter regarding questions more than your approach.  If you can ask your questions in a respectful, objective manner, rather than "oh man, this is such a sexual turn on", you're going to fare better.  Scores of people post questions to this site every day, and more often than not, the tone of the question has more importance than the age of the person who posted it. 

The second thing is, don't phrase your questions as though they are coming from uber-Dom of the Universe.  Ask anybody who's got a decade in front of you, and they will tell you that, a decade ago, they didn't know so much.  If you bring your questions with the attitude that you don't know everything, you'll probably get a better response.

Third, you do have to realize that, due to your age, you will have limitations in asking your questions, especially if you chose to do so in person at certain groups, clubs, and events.  In many places, the minimum age is 21, so some avenues may be closed to you.

For some, there may be a link between age and respect, but not curiosity.  Good luck in your endeavors. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to mtl1466)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/23/2008 10:05:39 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i am not as good as LA so i can't come up with the links, but to the OP, you are not the first person to go "i am here to study these kinky folks but they won't answer my questions....why? could it be ______? how do i get them to answer me?" ....and the answer is...you have to do the foot work...become established in the bdsm community, because you are interested in it - i am assuming that is why you want to study it - and get to know people, and once you have gotten to know people find the people that would be willing to answer and ask...and i am hoping that with that sociology field you are learning about individuals as well and how to assess them relatively quickly (i know that seems manipulative, but it's a bitch asking a bunch of people and being told no by all of them,...), because you should be able to know before you ask them that they will be willing to say yes...and i strongly suggest you go to national/intenational events...big things where people travel thousands of miles to get to....bigger sample groups...because you get to know people there and they can introduce you...and after a while, if you do it right, people will be shocked when you tell them how old you are, because society has taught us to associate maturity with age...for power reasons, not factual ones...lol...

good luck
chelle

ps. i did a sociology paper titled "Debunking Myths About Sexual Submission" or something like that when i was 20....i got an A on it...it centered on false images/ideas of unknown minority subcultures...


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 3:10:47 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

A 17 y.o. with a 16 y.o., no law broken. A 40 y.o. with a 16 y.o.? Sex offender.


depends on the country, though  ;)

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 3:18:07 AM   
crazyj68


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		i agree with you i think that some one like me whose 19 no female Dom is gona want to take in. First of all woman who are older are going to be skeptical of a male sub because guys are horny fuckin bastards for the most part. Around where i live all they care about is sex. Honestly, i find it extremely lame : / i have pretty much come to a halt in trying to find a female Dom because of my age.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 7:08:05 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		their dommes older ones who cater to younger subs and some that do not its a melting pot of peeps

(in reply to crazyj68)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 7:38:48 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Just mingle with people you like or feel fine with, that solves all these problems.
( thinking up loud mode)

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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 8:26:52 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't like it when people in our age bracket make an issue of their age. I realize that some people will look down on us for our age but that's not a BDSM issue really. Some people will always feel insecure enough that they need to demean others and some people have had experiences with idiots who happened to be young - same as I've had experience with idiots who happened to be middle-aged.

Neither Valyraen or I have experienced problems due to our ages. The only people who ever tried to tell me that I shouldn't submit to him were also clearly trying to get in my pants. Right or wrong, I believe this is largely due to the fact that we don't make an issue of our age.

Edited to add: Your age wouldn't cause me to respond or not respond. However, if you approached me via CM mail randomly, I probably wouldn't respond. A munch would be different and it would simply depend on if I trusted you or not.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/24/2008 8:31:25 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mtl1466)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 8:28:58 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I don't like it when people in our age bracket make an issue of their age. I realize that some people will look down on us for our age but that's not a BDSM issue really.


*nods*

If we make an issue of it then we perpetuate the issue, my age has never been an issue but thats because I like to think my attitude shows that my age is irrelevent


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 9:06:09 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Mmmm I guess if I hit on a 40 yer old in here I would be coinsidered a sex offender.  Damm Im going to prison.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 11:00:52 AM   
DarkHalo


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		I appreciate your post.  I have degrees in both Anthropology and Communication, and I know your curiousity.  I can look at the lifestyle here objectively and I know you come from a position of wanting to learn.  So feel free to contact me.  I do belive age is a factor, but not always in the way that people think it applies.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 11:02:53 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilabbotsfordgrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MD1Master

Your profile indicates that you are 19 years old.

When I view his profile, it says 20.



Thats cos he has changed it since yesterday, previously it said 19 and didnt mention 2nd year sociology student either


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 11:07:19 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Age isnt the problem. Attitude and perception of maturity are the problem. I have had 19 year old submissives who were more mature than 30 year old ones. The problems arise when the first thing someone points out is their age, and how they do NOT fit into the stereotype about that age (young, old.. either direction). But, by acknowledging it, you are bringint it to mind when it might not have been there. Dont shoot yourself in the foot. Concern yourself with strengths and weaknesses and worry about numbes as an afterthought, not an obsticle.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 12:37:12 PM   
AtlantaMistress


Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		When I am approached by younger subs - especially your age - I do tend to try to discourage them (even as a Pro Domme) - since IMO - based solely on my experience, someone that young does not have the maturity to commit to submission. It is not that I won't consider them...just right or wrong - I do realize that I seem to test them a bit more - make them prove they are sincere about their desire to submit. I look back to where I was at that age - and I am a TOTALLY different person. Also, since I truly focus on the power exchange, it is hard to take power from someone who does not have the experience to know what power/responsibility is all about yet. I wish I still had the "BIG" problems I had when I was in college. I am SURE that there are exceptions to the rule - and in fact have made them, and had one successful boy who was just 21 that I am thrilled I took the chance on...knowing forever he will remember the impact I made on him as his first Domme - even though it was short lived since he got sent to the Middle East.

As for your report...my advice would be to get to know people - through munches, or even corresponding online, but don't start right off with "I'm doing a report" - let them see your maturity and sincerety, and build some trust before you expect them to open up to you. Do not pry for information you intend to use - be very respectful and after you have gotten to know someone a bit, explain what you are trying to do. If I was approached by someone I did not know at all to talk about very private things, young or old, I would be a bit guarded...but if was someone I had seen out at a few Munches, that I knew was serious about the lifestyle, and seemed personable - then they respecfully approached me to dig deeper, I would be much more inclined to help.


_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.


(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 1:21:09 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		*scrolls through the replies and shrugs*

The topic's still interesting enough to reply to, regardless of the source.

Age?  Not an issue.  Maturity [as previously stated]?  Yes.  Attitude?  Yes.  Mindset?  Definitely.  I know people in their 40's who possess all the maturity, attitude and mindset one might otherwise expect from a teenager, so the age factor, isn't.

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to AtlantaMistress)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Age - Respect? - 3/24/2008 2:48:09 PM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
A 40 y.o. with a 16 y.o.? Sex offender.


Not in my country.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 57
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