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Online vs offline BDSM - 3/23/2008 9:00:18 PM   
callmetober


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/22/2007
Status: offline 		As a practical beginner to BDSM, I am most interested in finding someone who I can act out my fantasies out with in real-life. However, provincial lesbian dommes seem pretty hard to come by. I've always been hesitant to try out online domination for a number of reasons - not least the fact that it's far too easy to just close the window if I get scared! - but short of moving to London, I don't know if there are any alternatives.

So my question, I suppose, is this: are there any advantages to cyber-domination that I'm overlooking? Is there any way to force myself to actually keep responding to someone if they offer to play with me online?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Online vs offline BDSM - 3/23/2008 9:07:00 PM   
Boondoggle


Posts: 123
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline 		Well, short of actual blackmail or allowing someone to control your computer, no, there's nothing actually preventing you from running away. However, the goal of that sort of online play is to entice the other person to want to stay, and come back for more. And it is a fairly safe way to start to explore your kinks exactly because you can just cut off communication if something goes horribly wrong. At the same time, be very careful you don't invest too much in that sort of relationship without some sort of further assurance that the other person won't abandon you.

_____________________________

You see I'm not the kind of fella'
who can get off on vanilla.
No I need a little color in my sex.
--The Wet Spots

(in reply to callmetober)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Online vs offline BDSM - 3/23/2008 9:08:56 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		If you really enjoy and can get off with RPGs, you might like an online cyber relationship. But, if you are craving something truly physical and an interaction/relationship with something beyond an online personna, you won't be satisfied.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to callmetober)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Online vs offline BDSM - 3/23/2008 9:10:13 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I have dommed a lot of subs online.  It typically starts with simple conversation to get to know the person better.  It is important to let the Domme know what you are hoping for and to be completely honest, while at the same time making sure She lets you know how to fulfill Her needs.  It can be very enjoyable and you can become very close to someone that way.  Keep in mind that each Mistress will have Her own protocols; for instance whether or not to use webcam, whether you are allowed to contact them first or whether you are to wait to hear from them, etc.  It isn't as good as real time but can be quite fulfilling until you can find that real time relationship.

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(in reply to callmetober)
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RE: Online vs offline BDSM - 3/23/2008 9:20:03 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		There is alos the possibility of interacting with switches who have experience in both topping and bottoming...you do not have to limit yourself just to dommes

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Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

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RE: Online vs offline BDSM - 3/24/2008 11:21:37 AM   
mellian


Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline 		Good way to start as I have way back when at 16 and on, but gradually grown to dislike it personally due to being completally unreal, fake, and to easy to get away. Hence I dislike any Dommes pulling out this "online trial" crap before meeting, or filling out some ridiculous online application before chatting. Better off not bothering to message anyone and just meet people at local BDSM events.




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Since my pic link doesn't work, here is my profile:

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/50276/details.htm

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Online vs offline BDSM - 3/24/2008 1:31:23 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I started online and if you want something then you carry on doing it, in regards to everything else you have said I messaged you the other side about local events and stuff, kink doesnt only live in London :P

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Online vs offline BDSM - 3/24/2008 6:44:50 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		When i first met my Daddy i kinda ran away from his online presence, but we weren't doing any kind of online scene stuff....It was who he was emotionally, mentally and physically that made me run. He was everything i wanted, so it scared me and i ran, but because he was everything, i returned...........i knew from the get-go that he was a Dominant, so i was kind of "toast" almost immediately.

So you may find yourself talking with someone who you find really attractiive, is everything you thought you might want or need, and then it may just happen without you even knowing it.

When he and i were talking for the longest time, i didn't even think he was Domming me yet, then, once we got to a certain point, i realized that he'd been dominating me almost since our first discussion...kooky how that worked out


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Online vs offline BDSM - 3/31/2008 4:58:03 PM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: callmetober

As a practical beginner to BDSM, I am most interested in finding someone who I can act out my fantasies out with in real-life. However, provincial lesbian dommes seem pretty hard to come by. I've always been hesitant to try out online domination for a number of reasons - not least the fact that it's far too easy to just close the window if I get scared! - but short of moving to London, I don't know if there are any alternatives.

So my question, I suppose, is this: are there any advantages to cyber-domination that I'm overlooking? Is there any way to force myself to actually keep responding to someone if they offer to play with me online?



There is nothing out there that will force you not to run away.. I tend to trust my instincts & when the little voices in my head say run.. i run.. as fast as my little legs will carry me! Because usually i find they're saying it for a very good reason.

Cyber BDSM.. Well i know alot of people out there seem to get alot of enjoyment from it.. But to me it can't even begin to start comparing itself with a real life experience. At the end of the day, online play is only words on a screen.. There's no touch, no depth & no real rush to be gained from it.. Afterall.. How can somebody REALLY be spanked, flogged, caned or indeed Dominated over an internet connection?

My advice would be to try the online thing, as i have said before.. Many people out there really seem to get alot of enjoyment from it.. But if it's something more real that you seek, then never give up looking. You never know whats just around the corner.


_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to callmetober)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Online vs offline BDSM - 3/31/2008 6:13:55 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		tober,

being a male Dominant I can address the concept even tho your interest is in dommes
On line can be healty, instructive and after a time insiteful of the person your sceneing with. There is no need to run now is there? a polite Ma'am I am just not ready for that will suffice.

CP

(in reply to callmetober)
Profile   Post #: 10
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