RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

RCdc -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/25/2008 2:30:05 PM)
I did thank you! (Although I suspect the coming weekend is gonna rock even more and I won;t be able to sit all next week)...[;)] I loved the song BTW... sooooo cooool... (But Justin looks way better in lycra than me......[:D]) the.dark.

akisha -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/25/2008 2:32:00 PM)
New people can do a search on pretty much any convevable topic and get multiple past threads to answer their questions or they can do what everyone else does and ask anew and wait for LA to go find all the previous threads for them. Only once did i do a search here with nothing coming up as answers.

colouredin -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/25/2008 2:34:47 PM)
all week? jesus girlie you better get some ultra soft cusions so you can lie on your tummy and type your pearls of wisom. (yeah justin looks better than most people in lycra but least we get the benifit of oggling him in it [;)]) to akisha, yeah I know, but sometimes its nice to get a personal perspective on things, and as i said earlier sometimes there are things i wouldnt even think of looking up (recently sub drop was one of them) so i love when people ask questions, the only problem really comes in when they are the same questions because people do get bored,

LadyPact -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/25/2008 2:37:23 PM)
OP, I'm sure your thought was an admirable one. I don't doubt that, but I do highly doubt that it would do any good. From time to time, there is a post to recount a bad experience had by someone. Yes, it does happen, and those posts can be helpful to others so that they might learn from someone else's experience. However, more often than not, somewhere in relating the story, they will make a reference to the fact that they knew what they were doing wasn't a good idea or didn't take safety measures or ignored their own gut instincts in a situation. In those bad experience posts, it is more likely that they knew the precautions that they should have taken and just chose not to. Like the OP, I happen to be the rather protective type. The thing is, you can't protect a person for themselves, nor can you lay the responsibility for doing so on someone else or on a special forum for them to read. Even if newbie boot camp existed, or a forum specifically dedicated to educating a person on how to be protect themselves were available, there would still be people who knew the information and ignored it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/25/2008 7:26:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GiantSteps Ah - hello! So I see - and so, to you personally I apologize. I obviously read that thing at the wrong angle and over-reacted; my bad. You see- you've ruined your chances at being a teacher of this supposed school already. You overreact too quickly and have too much inner desire to "save" people from themselves. That's part of the issue, those most vested into this sort of system are often the least likely ones who will utilize it to its best functions. Who will decide the teachers? Course schedule? Accountability? The fact is there are already a gazillion schools and courses and resources for newbies, they have to actively avoid them to not learn. And they do- constantly. Because learning means being self aware, admitting you're wrong, and not getting that hot fuck you really want right now sometimes. As well- I abhor the idea of preventing someone from making their own mistakes if they are making informed free choices. Don't push your sense of what I need onto me until I give you that authority. Chelle- I thought it was a few degrees less than my initial internally response :)

MontrealPhoenix -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/25/2008 7:56:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GiantSteps It's not surprising that recurrent themes from Alt.Bondage are showing up here, especially concerning the horror stories in posts and profiles concerning submissive's bad fortunes and horor stories. The internet remains a world of shadows, and very, Very rarely have I ever met anyone who was exactly as their I-facade appeared. You get to expect it... in time. What I do find surprising is that, 20 years on and much better organized and teched, no better support and information venue has been concieved to safety net newbie subs. Plenty of you battle-scarred vets are in here, and I'm betting every single one of you have your early experience with the negative aspects of online D/s and first time RLs. The damage that stuff causes always got up my nose, and apparently still does. So let me put this question to you folks: shouldn't there be a FAQ/Newbie training and advisory board in here where we keep the fry until they're too big to be eaten by the predators? With this multi-board format, I would think it would be easy to set up a little red schoolhouse that might keep some folks from getting burned too badly, adjusting expectations and sending up some red flags to keep an eye out for. MontrealPhoenix's post is a perfect example of the problem, although we wouldn't have to go far down the board to find others. What do you mean you played without any personal information? What do you mean you don't have a real name or phone number? It would be extremely double-plus good if we could force this kind of stuff into newbies heads before we sagely and sadly shake our heads afterwards. Whatcha think? I would just like to say that i DID know better, that's what makes what happened to me all the more frightening to me. It's not like i'd never had a dom, i have. It's not like i didn't have safeguards up, i did. I just stupidly threw caution to the wind and what i write about was the result. I could have gone through the training camp and it STILL probably would have happened. What you are suggesting is a good idea but if you think it'll protect newbie subs from the preditors you are sadly mistaken. A really good one will know how to get past a subs defenses no matter how knowledgable they may be. Phoenix

Bound2One -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/25/2008 7:57:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DragonLady5 Please don't recant. I think it was a wonderful and compassionate idea. Many people do not have the time and/or patience to do all the research they should. Yes, it's their responsibility to educate themselves. But if someone is willing to make the effort to provide basic info all in one place, how could that not be anything but good? I don't think newbies need separated, but a reference area with common sense advice is certainly not going to hurt. And newbies probably are reading this thread and not posting because it seems that the idea, right from the beginning, seemed to get dissed by the vets. Who wants to play in shark-infested waters? That's an exaggeration and not meant to insult anyone, just trying to make a point. I'll bet lots of newbies have read the thread and don't feel comfortable posting while others are potentially calling them lazy and lacking in common sense. Maybe it's just me, but the bolded part above ticks me off. MAKE it your business to learn about what it is you're ready to throw yourself into. Take personal responsibility for your actions. Fer cryin' out loud, FIND the time to do the reading, talking and meeting people that it takes before getting yourself into a new situation. And if you don't avail yourself of the resources here at CM, including the boards which have a great search function - shame on you! (the "you" is generic here, not directed at the poster!)

chellekitty -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 12:05:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: GiantSteps It's not surprising that recurrent themes from Alt.Bondage are showing up here, especially concerning the horror stories in posts and profiles concerning submissive's bad fortunes and horor stories. Am I the only one who resents being compared as LESS than Alt.com? That place is horrid! am i the only one who knows the difference between alt.bondage and alt.com? [8\|] and they went defunct WAY before my time... oh yea...to the OP, i am not trying to be a buzzkill if this is something you're really gung-ho about - for the right reasons...but, to me, it sounded like you were trying to white-knight your way into some newbie panties when i first read your post...sorry if that is bluntly offensive, i am a bit tired and a lot stressed (doing the ER thing because that is where your Owner is, for 28 or so hours before they can get him admitted can do that to a girl) chelle, who should go to bed, but it is empty...

IronBear -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 12:36:39 AM)
Whilst something like a physical boot camp could be a good thing if it were both legally and physically practical. Something lige a retreet for newby and intending sub/s;laves and a seperate one for newby and intending Dominants. perhapds they could see film footage of rescues from bad situations and get some practical taste of what ignoring red flags can lead to. You could even use simulations to add to this. There are several poiints to be remembered though: Many people rarely acxtually read and take in that is posted.. Many people learn best by experience. Many people are convinced that "It won't happen to them". Many people resent being told what to do and what not to do. Some people do not have a circle of friends who are kink friendly or who they can trust for a safe call. Sites like the collarme.com forums quire probably have saved far kmore new preople of all presuasions from making what might have been fatal mistakes. It almost certainly has helped to reinforce basic safety and common sence for those who have been hurt and especially those who do 'fess up and talk about their mistakes and what it cost them. I'm pretty sure too that this site and the stories of people getting hurt has reinforced for even experiemnced Dominants the need for vigilance and safe protocols as well as personal teaching. Iron Bear Master of Bruin Cottage (A Victorian Lifestyle poly home) "I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

GiantSteps -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 7:44:58 AM)
One thing about Alt.Bondage that was different from CM, chellekitty, is that it was not used as atrolling site for hook-ups. That wan't why we existed, and dumped posts that were ISO in nature. One of the reasons I liked it. Conversely, speaking from an Alt.Bondage POV, I could say that the strong dislike of the idea of informing the uninformed sounds to me could be based on the desires of some to take advantage of that ignorance. Dumb newbie pants are easier to get into than smart newbie pants - why do anything to reduce the stock? Sorry if that is bluntly offensive, but coming from a place where responsibility was paramount, I've never seen so many people wound up over the idea that they were being asked to put themselves out a little bit in order to assist the ignorant. It could be pure laziness, of course; I'm sure everyone here doesn't have three minutes extra in their busy day to pontificate in yet another thread on an additional board. Or it could be a serious case of irresponsibility - I got mine, every man for himself. Beats me; all I'm sure of is that this "Uh... well, they won't use it, an'... well, they should know better, an.... well, nobody helped me.." is pathetic rationalization..The level of militant self-involvement in here is remarkable. I make my dough online - I know exactly how much work is involved in setting up an additional board on software like this, and believe me, it doesn't require a year's worth of hard-coding. And if it were ill-attended, it takes up no server space, and therefore doesn't burn bandwidth. If you want to look to motive, try looking at the motives of the people who Don't want such a board open. I have. But I let it ride until the question of motives wanted to get raised. Yep - there was definitely a difference between CM and Alt.Bondage. And from somebody who's seen both, CM doesn't have that much to brag about.

Dnomyar -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 7:59:52 AM)
Mmmm I trolled Alt.Bondage. I have trolled all of the sites. Thats what I do best. Where there is a will there is a way or better yet where there is Dnomyar there is a way.

akisha -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 8:01:45 AM)
I've recieved some of the most disgusting, inappropriate, unwanted, e-mails on Alt then I ever have here. But hey, that's just my experience.

GiantSteps -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 8:10:50 AM)
Since you've trolled Alt.Bondage, Dnomyar, and you've been here long enough to gain a rep, why not fill the folks in on the way Alt.Bondage operated. How were ISO posts handled? How were posts that contained contact info handled? Was there any access on the board to glean personal contact information separate from posts themselves? I can't speak for your time there, but the tech of the board constrained PMs, profiles, and damn near anything but the discussion thread itself. And we were pretty forward in enforcement.

Bound2One -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 8:12:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GiantSteps It could be pure laziness, of course; I'm sure everyone here doesn't have three minutes extra in their busy day to pontificate in yet another thread on an additional board. Or it could be a serious case of irresponsibility - I got mine, every man for himself. Laziness? On the part of who? The sub who jumps in feet first without knowing what he/she is getting into? Irresponsibility? I have a feeling you haven't read many of the threads on this board, because if you have you will have read some very thoughtful, helpful and meaningful advice from those more experienced and those who are in the 'discovery' mode as I am. I have nothing against a 'newbie' board. I'd probably even contribute to it - but I don't see it as my responsibility to educate or care for newbies. I'd be much more apt to respond to a post on the regular boards saying 'I've read about this, and yet I still have a question or two.'

GiantSteps -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 8:26:56 AM)
First out - aikisha: USENET Alt.Bondage - not WWW.Alt.com. You should research the difference. You're kinda lazy aintcha? Not my problem to educate ya.. See - I'll fit right in here, now that I get the culture. Bound2One, the concept of community is you look out for one another. It isn't your responsibility to call the fire department if you see your neighbor's house on fire, either. It depends on your sense of a responsibility that extends past your own doorstep.I was solid with the fact that there are folks here were so uninterested in community - what lit the short fuse is that in suggesting we call the fire department, I started getting brickbatted as an arsonist. ++Addendum++ The claim here is that newbies should research, then post additional questions, then they acceptable fodder for informing. I just ran a check on the background of most of the posters on the front of this board demographically - Slave Training Plan OP - Posts: 3642 What's your first reaction? OP - Been through D/s, now living 24/7 in a kink relationship BDSM w/o sex. Would you? OP - Posts: 2222 Sex? or not? My 2 cents... OP - "Former Pro Dominatrix, now retired" How seriously do you answer OP - Posts: 2927 >>> M/F Why do you Feel Your Stronger then the other? >>> OP - Posts: 29 Taming of Shrews Posts: 1614 >>>Lookin for an informative Daddy/Daughter article... >>>OP - Posts: 2 My thoughts on Kink vs D/s OP - "I came to D/s some 9 years ago" boundaries OP - "i've played for a number of years, but only with friends or at play parties" Doms...do you see subspace as a stop sign? OP - Posts: 6034 Unless you've only brought in 2 newbies in the past month, the distribution here is skewed. If I were a newbie, I'd be hesitant to stick my dumb nose into this venue for fear of getting it chewed off too.

akisha -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 9:17:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GiantSteps First out - aikisha: USENET Alt.Bondage - not WWW.Alt.com. You should research the difference. You're kinda lazy aintcha? Not my problem to educate ya.. See - I'll fit right in here, now that I get the culture. Bound2One, the concept of community is you look out for one another. It isn't your responsibility to call the fire department if you see your neighbor's house on fire, either. It depends on your sense of a responsibility that extends past your own doorstep.I was solid with the fact that there are folks here were so uninterested in community - what lit the short fuse is that in suggesting we call the fire department, I started getting brickbatted as an arsonist. LMAO I only research things I actually give a damn about. I don't spend 90% of my time on line flipping between hundreds of different sites. Can't be bothered. I sincerly apologize i didn't know about your favourite site but then again kinda falls under the didn't give a damn category S [:D] But thank you for explaining the differnce, now i know. Not being able to take critisism and acting like a spoiled child will get you far on here so have fun with that S We all will take a hit occasionally when we have dumb ideas, get use to it or don't post. You learn to not take it so personally, really, 90% of us are strangers to one another, does it really matter what a bunch of strangers think of you or your ideas? The exchange of thought and ideas is always an experience to learn and see other ideas.

GiantSteps -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 9:27:52 AM)
But it's perfectly acceptable for you to post a demeaning post about another site without knowing about - or giving a damn about - what the site was.Part of criticism is knowing what you're talking about - not just sounding off to pretend you're in the know. I have no problem with crit - when it comes from someone who knows - and gives a damn - about what they're talking about. As for me not allowing drivel to just fly because it discomforts you to get called on it... Get used to it. S

AquaticSub -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 9:29:36 AM)
Vaguely off topic, but if you ever want to teach BDSM newbies you've got to get a LOT more patience and be a LOT nicer. They are going to sprout off about much dumber shit than this.

Aileen1968 -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 9:39:10 AM)
Your armor is getting kinda tarnished. Maybe you should go polish it.

GiantSteps -> RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp (3/26/2008 9:46:42 AM)
I expect more from people who know their way around the block, AquaticSub - you get the respect you give. I'm no stranger to the board cliques, and I'm not so wet behind the ears that I can be easily subbed by a no-nothing post and a catty "S" And Aileen - armor gets dirty, if you use it. It's not supposed to be there for show.

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875