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Jealousy - 3/25/2008 10:41:34 AM   
lubegirl


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I am very blessed, my MASTER is my ONE TRUE MASTER and will be my only MASTER. I am overwhelmed with love and desire to serve, please and obey him and ultimately make his pleasure my pleasure.
However, sometimes when my MASTER puts me in the closet as he enjoys himself with other women I am filled with frustration and a little  jealousy, rather than showing my feelings I just smile and come running like a happy puppy. I understand that I need to improve and not be jealous. Afterall he did say I could be involved in some activity as the lubegirl.
 
Do you ever get jealous when the MASTER that you absolutely love and would do anything for shows interest in other subs?
All input appreciated,
Lubegirl
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 10:43:49 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		No, because Valyraen doesn't have interest in other subs. If he were to, I think it would be hard but he respects me and my feelings more to put me in the closet. I've told him several times that he could have another girl if he wished, I would just want him to respect my feelings and help me through it as I will respect his feelings and help if needed when/if I find my female partner.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 10:46:14 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		You are being put in the closet in order to MAKE you jealous. Thats the only reason for putting someone in that sort of situation, trapping them somewhere they cannot avoid the reality that their Master , or in my case Owner, is enjoying someone else. Its cuckolding, essentially. You can try and get over the jealousy, or you can ask your Master if that is what he is trying to do. Obviously, the jealousy isnt damaging your relationship, and for some people, the jealous streak can be exciting and sexy.
Talk to him before you try and overcome it.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 10:49:06 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I would have to agree.  I see him putting you in the closet as part of the scenario that enjoys, for whatever reason.  He may be happy just knowing you are there, regardless of how it makes you feel.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 10:50:08 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Do you mean you are put in the closet literally or metaphorically?

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Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 10:52:29 AM   
celofane


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/25/2008
Status: offline 		Other subs don't spark jealousy in me.  But I'm feeling jealously/insecurity about someone else in his life.  I have a high hope that my insecurities will be quelled when I talk to him.

(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 10:58:28 AM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		oh my I haven't posted on here in a long time...but here goes. Lubegirl...you should bring your feelings to your Master. Simply saying "i shouldn't be jealous" isn't good enough. You are feeling insecure and left out. He should know how you feel. Also were these things negotiated from the beginning? Were these things talked about? You are after all human. You have feelings and you have a right to those feelings regardless of  how someone "should" behave.
Bring your concerns to him, and see how he responds.

missi

(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 11:57:38 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Why should he negotiate putting her in a closet?  Op hide a dvd or mp3 player in there to use while your there. Drill a peephole in the door. You people lack creativity and imagination.

(in reply to amuzingtoyou)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 11:59:39 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Count me in on the people who *shrug* when the response to anything is "has this been negotiated?".  It's not possible to negotiate every conceivable situation that may arise.  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 12:15:31 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

You are being put in the closet in order to MAKE you jealous. Thats the only reason for putting someone in that sort of situation, trapping them somewhere they cannot avoid the reality that their Master , or in my case Owner, is enjoying someone else.
I have to agree. He's fostering that feeling in you and could put you at ease if he chose to. He obvisouly chooses not to. So, it's up to you whether this is something that is tolerable or not. (For me, personally, it wouldn't be something that I could accept.)


I have no jealousy of Master playing with others because he has taken the time and effort to make me feel secure in our relationship.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 12:17:17 PM   
TeachMeTonight


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/13/2006
Status: offline 		I think you should consider taking this question to the poly discussion list.

Here are a couple of quickies though...

To me jealousy means you are unwilling to share him.  This is different than envy where you wish you were the one out there with him.

I pesonally think multiple partner relationships should be negotiated between all involved and not by decree of a dominant partner.

Finally, this may well be part of his kink, as someone pointed out cuckolding.  In this case he is trying to make you suffer through this act, it is a form of sadism and control.  If that is the case, you have decide if you are able to submit to it, without long term negative consequences to you or the relationship.

_____________________________

Yours in Leather
Teach Me Tonight


(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 12:38:28 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Here are a few thoughts to consider:
Talking to your Master about your feelings of jealousy,
Asking your Master what his purpose of putting you in the "closet."
Talk about when you feel frustrated with your Master.

Granted you are wanting to please your owner in all ways possible. Though also consider that you could use open communication and communicate your feelings of jealousy, frustration, etc to him. Pleasing one's owner should also include being open about your feelings, most owners want to know when their sub/slave is unhappy in order to correct that. When you hold back being open, he will sense that eventualy and thus lead to tension where no one is pleased nor happy.


_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

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(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 12:44:57 PM   
Taintedblood


Posts: 116
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		Does your Master know how jealous you feel - if he dosn't he may actually enjoy it he is only human and cant be a mind reader all the time - if he does know you need to decide if you can handle the jealousy and how you are feeling.

Communication is key - good luck

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 12:46:12 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		   You don't seem jealous that he's with another woman, simply that you wish you were involved. As such, it seems like your master is certainly trying to make you jealous. You're in a closet while fun sex is happening right on the other side of the door, I can't imagine anyone not being a bit envious and frustrated in that sitatation.

   You say to need to improve and not be jealous. I say that your master clearly wants you to be jealous.  "rather than showing my feelings I just smile and come running like a happy puppy" is probably the best behaviour he could wish you to display at that moment. He knows you're jealous, he knows you're covering it up to please him. I see no problems with your feelings there

(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 1:46:33 PM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		Well i think there are a few things which should be negotiated up front. Like are we going to include others, what will my role be while you play with others..etc. It sounds to me like there wasn't alot of negotiating before.  Of course you cannot negotiate everything, however there are basic things that should be negotiated. Being put in a closet while her Master plays with others doesn't sound like something this submissive is comftorable with.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 2:03:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We don't play with others, but if being made jealous and frustrated works for you, then go for it! Hope he uses protection.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to amuzingtoyou)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 2:27:30 PM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		I don't usually respond to these types of threads, but sometimes I get so frustrated reading them!
 
-----Rant Alert-----
 
OP- If he is your "one true Master", then pleasing HIM is your goal.
 
He likes to put her in a closet? So what? When she gave herself to him she made her only choice. Yes, she should discuss her feelings- it's her obligation as his property. But it's up to her MASTER to decide what he wants to do with her. Her choice is obey or walk. That's it.
 
Has this been negotiated?  Her collar is her negotiation. She consented. End of story.
 
Subs shouldn't be put into situations that they don't like or choose.  HAH! That's not service, that's dominance.
 
Maybe her master is pushing her to grow. Maybe he just gets off on knowing she's in the room while he f**ks someone else. It doesn't matter. It's what HE WANTS.
 
Sheeesh, people. What kind of relationship is it when every scene is negotiated and every move made by a Dominant has to be pre-approved by his submissive? I'll tell you-Vanilla.
 
OP- Get over yourself and out of yourself and put your focus where it should be- on your Master.
 
---End of rant---

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 2:37:51 PM   
MadameTakhisis


Posts: 55
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		Knowing it makes you jealous He may choose to do it more so that you may have your fill of it and be over it! The pain is realizing the potential loss. The gain is to release a weak emotion. Go for the gain! Enjoy yourself in that closet and being his slave!

< Message edited by MadameTakhisis -- 3/25/2008 2:39:27 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 2:42:04 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lubegirl

Do you ever get jealous when the MASTER that you absolutely love and would do anything for shows interest in other subs?

nope - Daddy's committed to me as i'm committed to Him


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Jealousy - 3/25/2008 2:58:12 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92


Has this been negotiated?  Her collar is her negotiation. She consented. End of story.

---End of rant---


My rant:

The collar is not the end of the story. It is for some but it is not for all. Some consent to everything except being made to dominate when they accept the collar. Others consent to everything as long as it's done in a monogamous relationship.

The collar is not a get out of jail free card or "Now that she's consented to the collar, I can do whatever I like with her!" People can be very good actors and it's not unheard of for a couple to date for years, be engaged for years and then only after they get married does it turn out one is abusive, has a drug problems, is a child molester, etc.

The collar is not the end of the story.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to hejira92)
Profile   Post #: 20
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