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Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 4:52:45 PM   
Semos


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		Do you believe yourself to be appropriately labeled?

I can qualify this question by giving an example.  I used to consider myself a lackey and coerced my partner into treating me a such.  I have come to know that this was a completely false characterization of myself and believe I have a good understanding why this came to be.

I just looked up the word mistress and found it interesting how many definitions there were and some seemingly conflicting

1.a woman who has authority, control, or power, esp. the female head of a household, institution, or other establishment. 2.a woman employing, or in authority over, servants or attendants. 3.a female owner of an animal, or formerly, a slave. 4.a woman who has the power of controlling or disposing of something at her own pleasure: mistress of a great fortune. 5.(sometimes initial capital letter) something regarded as feminine that has control or supremacy: Great Britain, the mistress of the seas. 6.a women who is skilled in something, as an occupation or art. 7.a woman who has a continuing, extramarital sexual relationship with one man, esp. a man who, in return for an exclusive and continuing liaison, provides her with financial support. 8.British. a female schoolteacher; schoolmistress. 9.(initial capital letter) a term of address in former use and corresponding to Mrs., Miss, or Ms.
or for that matter are happy with being labeled at all.

To give one example of a profile I've just read, this lady seems to have a propensity of inflicting pain with floggers and so on.  She depicts herself of be a strong woman that demands a slug at her feet, but I can't but help see a wounded soul that is using that as a vice similar to people that cut themselves or are overtly promiscuous.


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 5:17:24 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Interesting, especially with the definitions included.  However, within this lifestyle, there are other definitions to consider.  What it might mean to Me might mean something entirely different to someone else.  Both might very well fit some of the definitions of the above, but the additional internalized characteristics come into play as well.

This is very much why I think labels are only a start of dialog between two people.  The broad base of generalization a starting point to get to those finer nuances as to what the term means to the individual.  Though I easily match more than half of the various definitions above, My terminology of Myself as Mistress extends far beyond that.  It may not match exactly what you think yours is, and that is fine, but Mine works for Me.  Since it is My definition, it is more than appropriate for Me.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 3/25/2008 5:18:13 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Semos)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 5:21:22 PM   
petitespitfire64


Posts: 182
Joined: 10/4/2007
Status: offline 		I hate labels...there just is no box to check that says "Sadistic masochistic slave service top" anywhere.

_____________________________

**Daneene**
"The right thing to do isn't always the popular thing to do"

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 5:27:24 PM   
Semos


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespitfire64
I hate labels...there just is no box to check that says "Sadistic masochistic slave service top" anywhere.


Do you not consider and it's just an assumption on my part Petite Spitfire a label.  So the point is and I belive it is an accurate represtention of who you believe yourself to be, contrary for example someone that depicts themselves as dominant, but everything in thier profile points toward submission.

(in reply to petitespitfire64)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 5:41:37 PM   
Semos


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Since it is My definition, it is more than appropriate for Me.


Interestingly, your choice seems to be representative of you and in stark contrast to those definitions of mistress

A woman who is refined, polite, and well-spoken:
A woman of high social position or economic class
A woman who has proprietary rights or authority, as over a manor; female feudal superior.
A well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior.

I don't mean to demean those that use any representation of themselves, but I have noticed a marked difference in profile text of those that include Lady in their handle versus Mistress.

Did you perhaps have some subconscious inclination to the difference when you selected your handle.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 5:48:14 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Semos

So the point is and I believe it is an accurate represtention of who you believe yourself to be, contrary for example someone that depicts themselves as dominant, but everything in their profile points toward submission.



Well, very few people are 100% dominant or 100% submissive; things are just not that simple.  Labels, in this lifestyle are more than just absolute either/or reflections of our personality; but also indicitive of personal choice and the ability to have at least one other person to accept you as such. 

Everyone has pain, everyone has hurt and everybody is vulnerable.  What brings us to the lifestyle is not as important as what holds us here, if the inflicting of pain is as much a catharsis for one as recieving it is for another; this does not make both dominant, nor does it mean that both are submissive.  It does mean that both are people who deal with things their own way.

What you're talking about in your posts are arbitrary definitions of dominance and submission, which doesn't amount to sh*t in the real world.  If, when you look at a profile, you decide that you cannot see yourself submitting to that person because they do not fit your definition of dominance; then move the f*ck on and find someone who does fit, don't sit around making questioning how others choose to view themselves.


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Semos)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 5:54:31 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		If you are talking about the label "mistress" then I don't use that.

I am currently the mistress of one slave.

Otherwise I'm TammyJo, who happens to consider herself to be primarily dominant with a sadistic streak.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Semos)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 5:54:48 PM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Semos
To give one example of a profile I've just read, this lady seems to have a propensity of inflicting pain with floggers and so on.  She depicts herself of be a strong woman that demands a slug at her feet, but I can't but help see a wounded soul that is using that as a vice similar to people that cut themselves or are overtly promiscuous.


So you are able to read between the lines of a profile and tell what a woman's true nature is, despite how she describes herself?

Well, ain't you special! Tell me, do you list this skill on your resume? "Who knows what insecurities hide in the hearts of mortal Dommes? Only the Shadow - and Semos -- knows."

To answer the original question, yes, I consider myself appropriately and accurately labeled.

(in reply to Semos)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 6:00:31 PM   
Reigna


Posts: 334
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Welcome to the Hall of Mirrors.

(in reply to LaMistressa)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 6:02:58 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Semos

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Since it is My definition, it is more than appropriate for Me.


Interestingly, your choice seems to be representative of you and in stark contrast to those definitions of mistress

A woman who is refined, polite, and well-spoken:
A woman of high social position or economic class
A woman who has proprietary rights or authority, as over a manor; female feudal superior.
A well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior.

I don't mean to demean those that use any representation of themselves, but I have noticed a marked difference in profile text of those that include Lady in their handle versus Mistress.

Did you perhaps have some subconscious inclination to the difference when you selected your handle.


The name is actually a derivative of another name that I've had before.  Truth be told, as I started getting involved in the lifestyle here locally after My move three years ago, the name was coined by some who had similar thoughts to yours above.  As most scene names go, it seemed a rather good fit, so when I started accounts here and on other sites, I thought it was a good choice.  It's what most people call Me at munches, events, etc.  Every once in a while, people will call Me "Mistress <insert real name here>" but most people know Me by sight as Lady Pact.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Semos)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 6:19:48 PM   
Parataxis


Posts: 56
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Semos
7.a woman who has a continuing, extramarital sexual relationship with one man, esp. a man who, in return for an exclusive and continuing liaison, provides her with financial support.



AKA, being halfway between a mister and a matress.   ;)

(in reply to Semos)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 6:20:09 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Hi, I'm Francine. 

Folks in the scene will introduce me as Mistress Francine, but I certainly don't expect anyone to call me that, actually I discourage it.  I do have that as an email addy, to indicate my orientation.  I am LadyHibiscus here because Hibiscus (my SN on the doll boards where I hang out) was already taken, and due to an Episode here I had to give up my DominantPrincess name here.  Those who know me from wayyyy back in the day call me Auntie, from my old nic, Aunt Strict! 



_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 8:12:58 PM   
MistresssAria


Posts: 165
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Semos

Do you believe yourself to be appropriately labeled?

I can qualify this question by giving an example.  I used to consider myself a lackey and coerced my partner into treating me a such.  I have come to know that this was a completely false characterization of myself and believe I have a good understanding why this came to be.

I just looked up the word mistress and found it interesting how many definitions there were and some seemingly conflicting

1.a woman who has authority, control, or power, esp. the female head of a household, institution, or other establishment. 2.a woman employing, or in authority over, servants or attendants. 3.a female owner of an animal, or formerly, a slave. 4.a woman who has the power of controlling or disposing of something at her own pleasure: mistress of a great fortune. 5.(sometimes initial capital letter) something regarded as feminine that has control or supremacy: Great Britain, the mistress of the seas. 6.a women who is skilled in something, as an occupation or art. 7.a woman who has a continuing, extramarital sexual relationship with one man, esp. a man who, in return for an exclusive and continuing liaison, provides her with financial support. 8.British. a female schoolteacher; schoolmistress. 9.(initial capital letter) a term of address in former use and corresponding to Mrs., Miss, or Ms.
or for that matter are happy with being labeled at all.

To give one example of a profile I've just read, this lady seems to have a propensity of inflicting pain with floggers and so on.  She depicts herself of be a strong woman that demands a slug at her feet, but I can't but help see a wounded soul that is using that as a vice similar to people that cut themselves or are overtly promiscuous.





Hmm, with your definitions..........I am the head of my household as it's in my name...........I am employing/having authority over an apprentice piercer.............I own animals.........."a woman who has the power of controlling or disposing of something at her own pleasure" - (see head of my household part)(or I could just dispose of that bag of garbage sitting in the other room).................let me think about a good answer for #5........I'm skilled in many things, inclucing multiple occupations & art................#7 isn't my thing, but I could arrange it if I wanted to lmao..........#8 - I can roleplay that!  ;)  .................and Miss or Ms. would *technically* apply to me.

You're missing a lot of other definitions there.

Ignore me, just amusing myself.............  ;) ;) ;)



_____________________________

"It never got weird enough for me." -Hunter S. Thompson

~*~*~Mistress Aria~*~*~

(in reply to Semos)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/25/2008 8:38:45 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I think somewhere I stated that I am an accomplished smartass. So yes, I am appropriately labelled. Mistress Smartass. Yes, I kind of like the ring of that.

Oh and by the way, I think your assumption that you have figured out the deep dark psychological insecurities of another person just from a profile is pretty presumptuous and arrogant of you. I think from that I have figured out that you have felt rejected many times by many woman and now feel the need to label them as "damaged" so you don't feel like it's your fault. Is there a label for that?

(in reply to MistresssAria)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/26/2008 5:17:29 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am a Dominant female who likes to bottom occasionally with my male sub whom I trust. I give him the orders and he obeys beautifully.  I am not damaged or crazy, I'm just a pervert who enjoys S&M and a D/s relationship.
Do I need someone to look at my profile and think that they know me? No. You can't possibly know a person just from reading their profile. You can get a general idea of what they are like, but you will never get to know them until you have spent a lot of time with them. Why? because most people wear one face on the internet and another one in real life. That has been my experience.

So I generally accept people for what label they state that they are, unless later I discover otherwise. Thats just me.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Semos)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/26/2008 5:38:46 AM   
chezzy52


Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		I don't believe in labels..i am submissive by nature but i am now and always will be a human being first...so if you want to label me anything..it is that.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/26/2008 5:47:26 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		am i labeled appropriately?

well that depends on which side of  me you're addressing.  though i'm "labeled" submissive on my profile however it really doesn't define me who i truly am to others. besides being daughter to my DaddyDom, i also own two male pets which to them i'm their Mistress. 

so does it matter to me that i'm not actually labeled appropriately - nope it doesn't since there's no category to describe a submissive with a strong sadistic aggressive side who loves to fem male sissies and chastity male pets


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Semos)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/26/2008 6:49:14 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Having checked my behind in the mirror, I would like to thank the OP for bringing the question up before any major accidents occurred - I should not have thought to check, had he not posted.

It would indeed appear that I am not appropriately labelled. I can only conclude that somewhere, over the last few days, the label has dropped off.

I shall therefore take a careful trip into town, where I might purchase a new label, appropriate for the purpose.

"CAUTION - WIDE LOAD"

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/26/2008 10:07:44 AM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Having checked my behind in the mirror, I would like to thank the OP for bringing the question up before any major accidents occurred - I should not have thought to check, had he not posted.

It would indeed appear that I am not appropriately labelled. I can only conclude that somewhere, over the last few days, the label has dropped off.

I shall therefore take a careful trip into town, where I might purchase a new label, appropriate for the purpose.

"CAUTION - WIDE LOAD"

E


Oh Lady Ellen, you're too hard on yourself!  But I giggled, thank you for that!

I never cared much for labels, but given the definition of "mistress," I can say that I'm appropriately labelled in more ways than one!  Now I've just got to get over my hatred of hearing a sub call me "Mistress" and we'll be all good!  Hehe...

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Are you labeled appropriately - 3/26/2008 11:59:02 AM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		The question begs another question--am I labeled appropriately by who?

I'm subjected to quite a number of labels in the course of a lifetime.  Some of them fit, some of them do not, and all are subject to interpretation by myself and others.

If the OP considers all sadists and dominants to be "weak" and "wounded souls", I doubt that he/she will find much common ground with anyone who posts to CM.  Most people in this community have already arrived at the conclusion that their desires are not pathological--just unusual--if they are explored with consenting partners.

If only female dominants and sadists are "mislabeled", "weak" or "wounded souls", on the other hand, I'll just echo the other posters who say that the OP is welcome to take a long walk off a short plank.  I reject the right of any man, dominant switch or submissive, to declare a woman "damaged" or a "wounded soul" because she expresses or explores desires which are considered perfectly acceptable in a male. 

I'm sure there are bad dominants of both sexes.  Generalizing from a single profile, regardless of what you read into that profile, is probably not a great idea.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)
Profile   Post #: 20
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