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RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 5:50:09 AM

masterofdrkness2

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Joined: 3/17/2008
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being from a very small town in the south .. the towns people would probally burn us out if they really knew lol... as for friends.. they have their ideas.. but it is more of a dont ask and dont tell thing....I do have to keep a close eye on how we apear in the outside world.. due to work and the other things that we are involved in here at home...I wont lie about it ..but then again I dont tell everything there is to know... I will usuallly crack a joke about it in some way and leave it at that.. keeps everyone wondering .. but in the end I have not admitted to anything .as for the question would i tell if I could? the answer is no...My personal life is my life... it does not need to be a open book for everyone to read every chapter.

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 61

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 6:34:36 AM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
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I'm out to My sister, who is gay, not out to My brother in UK simply because it's not the sort of thing to holler 12,000 miles down a phone. Though he did tumble to the "menage a trois" that I used to have, so wouldn't be surprised if that happened again ie if I find a sub to live here. Not out to My Mum ... she's in her 80s and I never get a word in edgeways long enough to tell her even if I wanted to! However, while she was initially shocked that I was leaving My ex and disappearing interstate with Master (whom she knows by His first name and likes because He has been very kind and helpful to her) ... she knows (and tells Me repeatedly) that I am so much happier now ("I've got my old daughter back!") ... so I don't see a need to tell her more even if I could! I am pretty sure, given her much stated feelings about men, that she'd be thrilled about My Domme side ... but totally shocked with my sub side ... "You call a MAN Master???" Nothing to do with THE Man of course, just the concept of calling ANY Man that LOL!

With some close friends that We spent a lot of time with, We came out with the D/s side of things, explaining mostly about power exchange and just answering any specific questions they raised on the bdsm side of things (which varied from none to a lot!). Given that We also came out about the ex's penchant for cross-dressing to avoid frantic shoe changes ... they took it very well! The X-dressing probably raised more eyebrows than did the D/s. However, I can honestly say that We didn't lose any friends through these revelations ... but then, I did select pretty carefully who I wanted to be that open with. And that's mainly because it's Our life ... not just Our lifestyle ... and certainly not just Our sex life ... and We loved and trusted those people enough to want to be transparent with them, not having to hide Our real selves.

There were times when I was awfully tempted to divulge this to a close colleague but held back. If she'd ever asked a direct question I would've answered it truthfully and I am sure she is a very open-minded person, but I didn't think it wise to bring it up Myself in case it backfired somehow. I didn't want her to feel under any pressure for having that knowledge. When it comes down to who to tell, I think very much about the ramifications for them as much as for Us.

Since moving here just over a year ago, We've made a couple of friends ... one, My manicurist, is clearly curious ... but it's a bit tricky to ask specifics in a shared salon. I won't be at all surprised if she asks eventually ... and I will answer truthfully as from Our conversations, I know she is broadminded. I was rather surprised when the receptionist at the chiropractor suddenly mentioned bondage a couple of weeks ago as We were leaving ... I was so stunned I couldn't respond! She seems so incredibly straight LOL! But then, you never know ...

In short, I don't have too much trouble with revealing the D/s side to those who ask ... I don't tend to offer much about the "whips and chains" side. In terms of poly, well that could be more tricky with some folks. We're not out D/s to Master's parents ... but then they accepted it when He came to live with My ex and I ... so the concept of poly may not be too hard for them to deal with, and they are the main ones who'd notice (no spare room when they come to visit!). It would probably just be "lived" rather than discussed. That seems to be the way things are done in their family. Depending on the sub's age and gender, s/he could be presented initially as a friend of Myself or Master who needed a place to stay and then W/we all got on so well ... W/we decided to make the arrangement permanent. Not so far from the truth given the process that will occur in the coming together. It will be up to the sub as to how s/he presents the relationship to her/his own family.

Like Twice, i call Master by that name when out shopping ... but it is done discreetly, with the general public in mind. If He is not next to me, i don't yell it out ... i call His name or better still, i phone Him! Most of the time W/we are more likely to draw attention when W/we start acting the fool rather than anything D/s ... when He does silly walks on the travelators, pretends to have a tantrum in the shop just to crack me up, or revs up the shopping trolley ... and inevitably, these just raise a smile and sometimes, a sympathetic grin and shake of the head! If W/we brighten someone's day ... good! No one seems to notice either when W/we do a reverse age play and "Dadda helps bubba" open her soft drink or whatever! Given that He is 15 years younger than me ... if anything was likely to draw attention, this would! But W/we don't do it to draw attention ... W/we are relaxed in being O/ourselves ... and that largely goes unnoticed. It's when you look furtive, sneaky ... like you ARE hiding something ... that's when you are noticed!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to masterofdrkness2)

Post #: 62

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 8:27:06 AM

Dickens1

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/17/2007
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Remembers my sister being over at my apartment one day, and I had to go to the store for something, but when I came back, she was holding a copy of "Screw the Roses". At first, I didn't really think much about it, kind of smiled, but soon the crap hit the fan. Being deep in the bible belt, and her being a religious fantatic, she lowered the boom on me telling me how bad of a person I was for even having this material, and how I would have to answer to this on judgement day.
My only reply to her was I didn't think I would be looked upon nearly as bad as she was going to be for judging me, then showed her to the door. It was a long time before she spoke to me again, but did finally did apologize for her actions, which did surprise me...grins...although long before she did, she did manage to communicate my beliefs and ways to most of my family, both close and extended. To this day no one has mentioned anything to me, but I honestly doubt if I could deny anything if asked...I just don't willingly and openly proclaim it to them..
All is well...I'm happy with the way I am...and it don't matter if they, or anyone else is happy about it...they don't live my life.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 63

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 8:37:33 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dickens1

...although long before she did, she did manage to communicate my beliefs and ways to most of my family, both close and extended. To this day no one has mentioned anything to me, but I honestly doubt if I could deny anything if asked...

I think communicating it to everyone is just as bad, if not worse, than condemning you for it.

My former brother-in-law lived with my ex husband & I for a couple of years. Coming from a large family, there was no such thing as "personal space" - you needed something of yours that another family member had, you just went into their room and got it. I have since learned not to do that, but in my early 20s I didn't understand how that was crossing a boundary. So I walzed into his room one afternoon when he wasn't home, to retrieve some music of mine that he had borrowed. And in his room I saw all sorts of BDSM and D/s stuff - movies, magazines, books, paraphernalia, an obviously anally used dildo... I suddenly realized I had totally violated his privacy. I never told him about it and never told anyone else about it - not even my husband. I figured if "R" wanted us to know, he'd have told us.

I applaud your family members for not mentioning it.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to Dickens1)

Post #: 64

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 8:43:52 AM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
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My family knows of my lifestyle choices...my daughter makes my kink clothes...I do know that the 'poly' part isn't often understood...recently Daddy and I were out to dinner with a group of lifestylers, he brought his new 'fucktoy' that happens to be a 27 yr old 'goth' chick....the other couples really didn't understand who she was or why she was there...and they were somewhat less than accepting of her, but then she was about half the age of some of the others at the function

_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 65

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 2:18:20 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
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Generally i never did and would like to keep my sex life private. i have been around people bragging about there sex achievements and as a single man i find myself people talk about that at bars quite a bit. When i'm asked about mine i try to give them an ironic answer followed by a smile. Before i met people in the lifestyle i was very much uptight to myself and kept it inside of me. Lately when i'm asked i just tell them that i have weird feelings about sex and that i'm kinky. Most vanilla people understand kinky as being or having the need to whip and feel different sensations but they never get the (obedience and disciplined thingy...) Cause they know me as a fiesty type of a bloke i come across between serious and joking so they let me pretty much off the hook....

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 66

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 3:39:08 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
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Honestly, probably not. I am out to all my friends, but it would be detrimental to my job, though I'd imagine several women I work with would be curious to learn more. (I guess it's true what they say about librarians.

) Also, I was brought up in an extremely strict Roman Catholic household, and while my family wouldn't particularly have a problem with my husband and I playing, would never understand my playing with someone else. Especially women. It's better that these things have their compartments. I can be completely free and open with my husband and my friends, and can tuck it away at work and with my family. And that's fine by me. I don't really want to have an in-depth discussion about this with my Mom. (Although Mom's crazy and awesome and an all-around fantastic lady, and would probably be interested in getting involved herself, it would be a bit too odd.)

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 67

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 11:14:45 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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In my world every one I am in contact with and who matter , does love me and accepts me for who I am and what I am if they can't they're not in my world. Admittedly my world is kind of small and I know that in that case I am the minority, cause I don't have to consider poeple from work or work aquantinces, Cause I don't have any one else but the 3 of us to consider.
It's easy enough. and it's not a fantasy. My mom and dad and my brother both know I am kinky mom more so than dad, and my brother figured me for a dominant, not a submissive to the man I am dating, and mom, She knows my partner Dominates me, She approves 100 percent of my relationship with James. They have bent over backwards and inside out to support it, and to support James, and to show him kindness when He's needed it.

They both hear me call him Daddy and they think nothing of it, and she loves me 100 percent and accepts me for who I am. She even jokes about reporting to James about my behavior if I should be getting a bit snarky or have been to grumpy or maybe I have not been as helpful as I should of been. Or jokes with James if I do not do as he says or did not do something she asked me to you ground her. There hasn't been one thing I can do and have done in the past that's turned them away from me. Short of something very shocking like becoming a rapist a murder and a child pedophile, AND or rob them blind, I doubt there's anything I can do now in the future to turn them away from me. In my world that's called a close knit family, who loves and s upports each other. I realize though not every one is as fortunate as me in this regard however.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzbehavin

Say you are "out" and proudly so, it may work fine for you, but maybe your 10 year old sons friends mom and dad dont get it and liljr. isnt allowed to play at your house anymore.
What is fine for you may have a negative impact on someone else, even though unintentional, its something i'd not risk.
If you mean~ in a fantasy way where everyone loves and accepts you for who you are and what you are in the lifestyle and thinks its all wonderful, well thats not realistic. Not in the near future.

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 3/28/2008 11:49:50 PM >

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 68

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 11:28:33 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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For me it's because I am so open, and I call James Daddy about 95 percent of the time and sometimes it just slips out completely by accident, it's so natural and second nature. I also ask his permission for a lot of things, and most normal people wouldn't understand that I really can't do xy or z with out consulting my partner first, or that my partner has a say in a rounda bout way of who I hang out with, and what we do. I could say please excuse me for a moment, or I have to go to the bathroom or some excuse while I go check in with DAddy or I leave him a message telling him where I am, but why should I have to.

I also believe friendships can not be truely had and developed and a strong bond formed,* which is the goal for me when I think of friendships* when you keep the biggest part of yourself secret, and so while they may not know the biggest details or the sexy details,(unless they want to know), they will know I am a switch, I half way sub to a Dominant man and I call him Daddy, And we're active in the bdsm lifestyle. And they will know that we have a pretty open relationship, so there'll never be any question of inpropriety should they see me with another man or woman.

If they can't be ok with that we simply can't be friends cause I REFUSE to hide or change any of my actions around people who're supposed to be close friends or to keep the biggest part of myself hidden. Plus my floggers are often on display, because of the way I choose to store them is hanging from a rod above the bed, and I don't believe in having to put them away or do a mad dash to make sure anything of a questional nature isn't out if they're coming over or tell lies about them, or the other option of simply not having them come into my room isn't acceptible to me either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Nope, I wouldn't tell people because I don't see the point. I don't want to know their business, I don't ask to go into their bedrooms, or check out their cabinets. I never understood why someone would want everyone to know how they live their lives.
Kyst

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 69

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/28/2008 11:37:13 PM

YourhandMyAss

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From: Sacramento
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Opps must have hit quote and not edit

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 3/28/2008 11:38:36 PM >

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Post #: 70

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/29/2008 10:14:45 AM

Missokyst

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See for me that would be TMI.
I view it more like I was doing handstands to impress the neighborhood boys. In my fuction I have seen a lot of people who want to crow this stuff from the rooftops which is ok, if that works for them. I just have no desire to watch or participate. Yes, I do occasionally go to parties, but when I am there I am with other people who have similar viewpoints on kink. More or less.
But they chose to be there as did I.
Regular people in my life don't need to see behind my doors. I really don't want to see behind theirs either.
Being too open in my world is like reading the World Weekly News. 95% of it is BS, and the rest is about people I don't bed. LOL can you tell I don't read that stuff?
I enjoy privacy. The in your face society isn't a place I could stand for long.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

For me it's because I am so open, and I call James Daddy about 95 percent of the time and sometimes it just slips out completely by accident, it's so natural and second nature. I also ask his permission for a lot of things, and most normal people wouldn't understand that I really can't do xy or z with out consulting my partner first, or that my partner has a say in a rounda bout way of who I hang out with, and what we do. I could say please excuse me for a moment, or I have to go to the bathroom or some excuse while I go check in with DAddy or I leave him a message telling him where I am, but why should I have to.

I also believe friendships can not be truely had and developed and a strong bond formed,* which is the goal for me when I think of friendships* when you keep the biggest part of yourself secret,

If they can't be ok with that we simply can't be friends cause I REFUSE to hide or change any of my actions around people who're supposed to be close friends or to keep the biggest part of myself hidden.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Nope, I wouldn't tell people because I don't see the point. I don't want to know their business, I don't ask to go into their bedrooms, or check out their cabinets. I never understood why someone would want everyone to know how they live their lives.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 71

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/29/2008 10:34:21 AM

YourhandMyAss

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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I do not feel that them being aware of what you are is quite nessisarily seeing "behind your door" Because I wouldn't be telling them every juicy detail, like oh we went to a party he tied me up beat me then fucked me, It's more like We're Kinky I call him Daddy we have a semi authority based relationship.

Then again I do not think friends are "normal people" if you will . My definition of friend is someone who's very close knit and you can share ANYTHING on your mind, so lolng as you've picked friends who feel the same way.

People like co workers or a boss or a person on the street or in a bar, people who're not friends, and not in the need to know, if I ever went to bars , they are normal people, yeah sure I wouldn't tell them. Because What I am doesn't affect them or concern them..

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Regular people in my life don't need to see behind my doors. I really don't want to see behind theirs either.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

For me it's because I am so open, and I call James Daddy about 95 percent of the time and sometimes it just slips out completely by accident, it's so natural and second nature. I also ask his permission for a lot of things, and most normal people wouldn't understand that I really can't do xy or z with out consulting my partner first, or that my partner has a say in a rounda bout way of who I hang out with, and what we do. I could say please excuse me for a moment, or I have to go to the bathroom or some excuse while I go check in with DAddy or I leave him a message telling him where I am, but why should I have to.

I also believe friendships can not be truely had and developed and a strong bond formed,* which is the goal for me when I think of friendships* when you keep the biggest part of yourself secret,

If they can't be ok with that we simply can't be friends cause I REFUSE to hide or change any of my actions around people who're supposed to be close friends or to keep the biggest part of myself hidden.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Nope, I wouldn't tell people because I don't see the point. I don't want to know their business, I don't ask to go into their bedrooms, or check out their cabinets. I never understood why someone would want everyone to know how they live their lives.
Kyst

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 72

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/29/2008 11:31:11 AM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
Status: offline

I've told a very few family members and close friends about my submissive side, and I've dropped half-joking hints to some others. In general, however, I'm very selective about whom I discuss my sexuality with. I don't want to alienate anyone unnecessarily, and a lot of people are rather narrow minded when it comes to alternative sexualities in general. The need to hide away a major part of my personality in a private, almost secret sphere does irritate me at times, and I'd love to inhabit a world where BDSM was so much a part of the fabric of society that I could be led down the street on a leash without anyone looking twice. This isn't an exhibitionist fantasy, but just a longing to be publicly acknowledged as a slave in the same way that boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses are acknowledged. But until we BDSM people take over the world, or at least establish a sovereign state where we can define our own social norms, I suppose I'll just have to live my partitioned life as best I can.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 73

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/29/2008 12:38:11 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
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From: Phx AZ
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If asked i do not hide ,if asked further i tell .I do not walk up to everyone anouncing who i am nor do i hide it waiting to dress at an event or gathering .I am not ashamed of who i am , it took me many years to gain my bdsm freaky fetish badge , there is just not a need to go around flashing it everywhere .

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 74

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/29/2008 1:28:49 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Ahh... but the OP said this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

Would you if you could?

If it were possible for your friends, family, neighbors, to know what type of lifestyle you live, either a sub/slave or a Dom/Domme or a switch, and be accepting of your choice, would you tell them?

That goes well beyond friends. People who know me well know I am kinky. I do not consider family as friends, nor my neighbors, those are just people who touch my life occasionally. I like my kinky nature to stay in reserve for people who might enjoy it. Telling all and sundry just so I could show pride in living a "different life" is just giving someone too many inroads into who I am.
Kyst

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 75

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/29/2008 6:46:27 PM

born4serving

Posts: 61
Joined: 8/18/2007
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I want to tell my family that I am a slave serving a Mistress. I have not told them but I can't wait for the day that when i become settled with a Mistress who I have confidence and trust in for a long term relationship. I will then tell my family everything that I am a slave and all the women I have served and some of the silly acts that I have carried out for them.

There is no point in telling them now because I am not settled with a Mistress, and I will have no one to serve because I am will then be ready and more than happy to move in with a Mistress that I serve.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 76

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/29/2008 8:11:53 PM

mrmorpheuslunar

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/20/2008
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So the question becomes one of why for me. I think some people need the whole world to know that they have a harem of anal fixated friends, and in doing so, it makes their behavior more normal - whatever the fuck normal is in their mind. OR.... the need the whole world to know because the world is their oyster, and all of life is foreplay, and the disclosure of their kinks feeds is one of their kinks..... kind of a circular eroticity.

1. I don't have to know what your darkest desires are (although feel free to share them with me)
2. My lifestyle is my life lifestyle, and it will not be validated or invalidated by your knowledge of it or my disclosure to whomsover of it.
3. I have no problem with verbal lifestyle assignments - but when people are kink playing their lifestyle out in public no matter the sexual gender issues - groping in public - or obnoxious public discplays of imaginative role playing is what is offensive.
4. My friends are my freinds because they have accepted me. Still we don't and probably never will speak of how I doggy fucked while she sqealed like a pig over and over again, until my cum stopped. HOWEVER my kink friends talk about all that shit and ..... almost like there are 2 worlds. My kink friends are not really interested in interest compounding, and my straight friends aren't really interested in butt plugs.

And I am fine with that. Gives me more personal diversity. I don't have to make one big homogenous group of friends.

_____________________________

Mr. Morpheus Lunar is not into cyber freaks, endless x&o .... be real or be gone!

Mr. Morpheus L.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 77

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 4:44:44 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Ahh... but the OP said this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

Would you if you could?

If it were possible for your friends, family, neighbors, to know what type of lifestyle you live, either a sub/slave or a Dom/Domme or a switch, and be accepting of your choice, would you tell them?

That goes well beyond friends. People who know me well know I am kinky. I do not consider family as friends, nor my neighbors, those are just people who touch my life occasionally. I like my kinky nature to stay in reserve for people who might enjoy it. Telling all and sundry just so I could show pride in living a "different life" is just giving someone too many inroads into who I am.
Kyst

I read this whole thread and keep hearing about the "Bible belt". We're in southern Indiana, our town has under 2000 people (a large number have city addresses but live in the boonies) and we have one bar and several churches, probably more I've never noticed. Small towns are notorious for be judgemental and more so in the "Bible belt". She isn't asking if you would discuss your private sex lives to everyone you meet. She is asking, simply, if you could just be yourself, lifestyle choices included, all of the time... would you?

I've noticed that when people don't know, or are uninformed, the normal reaction is to assume the worst. It seems to be human nature. I would rather everyone that interacts with us know the truth then to assume the worst. For all I know, those that don't see use interact all the time may be thinking, "wow, that woman must be dense, everyone can see that the woman living with them has a thing going with her husband"... I know this to be true, because I've been guilty of it myself. When I was younger I would see a woman deferring to her husband, eyes lowered, kind of back a step... and I would instantly assume abuse. An M/s couple didn't cross my mind. Older and wiser now I've learned not to make snap judgements... wouldn't it be nice if that were the case everywhere?

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 78

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 5:45:09 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Just a footnote in response to the many; OMG I could never do that comments. We don't flaunt anything, nor do we hide it. We simply live our life openly and if someone asks questions we respond honestly. It doesn't have anything to do with sex as some have stated. I wouldn't discuss my sexual interactions in a poly household with anyone any more than I would if it was a monogamous household. It has more to do with the visual, open to the public, living arrangement...after all, that is what they see. It's a whole lot easier to just be open about what our situation is than try to make up some sort of smoke and mirrors explanation. Yes, "twice" addresses me in public as Master, so what, I don't see why that would be any stranger to the nillas than someone addressing their significant other(s) as cupcake or sweety-pie, when I imagine they obviously (hopefully anyway) don't appear as desert. If it raises an eyebrow, so be it, at that point it really isn't any of their business and it's unlikely they would ask. Folks who feel they have to hide who they are and how they live seem to me like illusionists who are likely going to make a mistake at some point. At that point it will be obvious that you have been lying...those consequences would likely be worse. Being honest, up front and not making up a cover story seems like it would be so much easier than trying to remember what the last tall tale told was.

< Message edited by ScooterTrash -- 3/30/2008 5:46:15 AM >

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(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 79

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 6:14:56 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

I find this interesting as a Brit, we don't have a Bible Belt in the UK - pretty much it's smaller the place the more narrow-minded people are likely to be as they aren't faced with significant diversity on a regular basis (doesn't just relate to kink, covers homosexuality, race etc. as well).

The original question actually asked if you were certain of acceptance from everyone would you share your preferences with them. In a world where no-one was going to give me shit just because of what I choose to do with my partner(s) then hell they can have pictures if it makes them happy. The thing is that isn't the world we live in.

My 9 year old daughter asked me today about my collar, I fudged it by saying it was something I wore as part of my relationship with my partner but didn't go into more detail (I don't think she would understand or be comfortable with the answer just yet - so it waits for her to be ready to hear and talk about it). My mother saw my MySpace page (which has a picture of a woman in a collar and chains on it - although not me, it's just a background .jpg) and rang me to rant for hours about how inappropriate it was - she simply can't handle the idea that D/s relationships are appropriate for some people, it doesn't make sense in her perception of the universe. My father tries to ignore the fact that I am sexual being at all and just keeps his head down from that sort of thing. That's their right - they can feel however they like provided they keep out of my face about it.

My friends in the vast majority know I have an interest in BDSM and some have asked about it and others just couldn't care less what I'm into from that side of things... it's about as unimportant to them as whether I like Marmite or not! I'm a computer programmer during the day and therefore don't wear my collar to work with the suit, but I do have other jewelry and things I do out of respect to Him which underline that whilst I may not have the physical collar on my emotional / psychological collar remains with me.

I figure it's different strokes for different folks when it comes to discussing what you like/dislike. Interesting thread nontheless.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 80

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