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RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 6:40:18 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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if i could i would but i can't especially since my family and few friends are deeply rooted in their Christian faith. not only would they not accept this but i would be asked not to attend any family gatherings. so i keep that part of me far away from them as possible by not wearing the collar - the same goes when i attend Sunday services. only my co-workers and band/musician friends know.

as far as my neighbors go - they don't know nor would i tell them. i already get curious stares and laughs when out and about in the black neighborhood where i live with my jewelry on. it doesn't bother me that people stare at me - i feel proud wearing Daddy'symbols of ownership on my body. on the flipside, it's totally the direct opposite if i'm hanging out at venues/bars on the northside of town.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 81

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 7:20:02 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
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Oooch, Ouch!!!!

Look out, here is my defense team, lmao....you two are sooo damn cute!

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

She isn't asking if you would discuss your private sex lives to everyone you meet. She is asking, simply, if you could just be yourself, lifestyle choices included, all of the time... would you?

quote:

ORIGINAL ScooterTrash

We don't flaunt anything, nor do we hide it. We simply live our life openly and if someone asks questions we respond honestly. It doesn't have anything to do with sex as some have stated.

It has more to do with the visual, open to the public, living arrangement...after all, that is what they see. It's a whole lot easier to just be open about what our situation is than try to make up some sort of smoke and mirrors explanation

Folks who feel they have to hide who they are and how they live seem to me like illusionists who are likely going to make a mistake at some point. At that point it will be obvious that you have been lying...those consequences would likely be worse. Being honest, up front and not making up a cover story seems like it would be so much easier than trying to remember what the last tall tale told was.

First, Jewel's comment was very simple and well put, that is exactly what i was asking.

Second, Scooter's comments are right on the money. It is not about sex, part of it is i never have to remember "did we tell Joe i was the live in housekeeper or your sister?"

Mostly though it is about being free to be unashamedly who and what you are.

To be honest, the subbie whose email shocked me into starting this thread puzzled me. It was like he was saying, yes i am a slave, yes i want to serve but i am sooo ashamed of my desires that it must be a black ops secret.

Why? To me if you are that ashamed of doing something you probably shouldn't be doing it.

I realize a lot of it has to do with societal conditioning, "Johnny plays with trucks and Sally plays with dolls". Or the modern version "Johnny can play with dolls and Sally must learn to play with trucks".

But at some point as we mature aren't we supposed to come to terms with that and break free to bloom into the divine image of who we perceive ourselves to be? Of who in our secret hearts we know we are most happy being?

I do understand for many at this point in time it is not possible.

But that was not the question.

The question was "If you could, would you?"

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 82

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 7:24:01 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

if i could i would but i can't especially since my family and few friends are deeply rooted in their Christian faith. not only would they not accept this but i would be asked not to attend any family gatherings.

Grins and giggles.....you shall have to attend my families Fourth of July celebration. Our big contest of the day is who brought the weirdest, kinkiest guest.

Three years ago i won by bringing a Canadian doctor friend who has a fetish nun tattooed from neck to calf, and had a grand total of 32 body piercings.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 83

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 7:34:48 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

One thing I did tell my parents was that He is the boss in our relationship and I am perfectly happy with that arrangement. They were cool with that.

I did have a humorous moment one day when my Mom saw one of His bite marks on my inner ankle. I hadn't even noticed that it was so obvious. When she asked about it, I just grinned, winked and told her that He and I like to play rough. She just matter of factly says, "Well........ he needs to work on his aim because he didn't even come close."

Moms!

LOL!

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 84

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 8:37:02 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel
I did have a humorous moment one day when my Mom saw one of His bite marks on my inner ankle. I hadn't even noticed that it was so obvious. When she asked about it, I just grinned, winked and told her that He and I like to play rough. She just matter of factly says, "Well........ he needs to work on his aim because he didn't even come close."

Moms! LOL!

LMAO! I have a few friends who have spotted marks and when told how they happened come back with similar comments, He has since changed His strategy to non-obvious marks as the ones my work colleagues commented on were more awkward to explain and caused me some distress.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 85

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 9:36:49 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Nope, I still wouldn't choose to reveal anything. I still do not see the point, regardless of being comfy in my skin and society around suddenly becomes accepting. I enjoy privacy. I like that people do not know who I am unless I invite them in. I have friends who know, but don't know everything. I see no need to tell them and have no desire to do so. For me, that is the same as doing a handstand on the handlebars of your bike as a child. "OOOOOOOO look at me! Look at what I can do!"
I don't watch soap operas, read the Enquirer, or listen to gossip if I can avoid it.
I think privacy is hot.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel
She isn't asking if you would discuss your private sex lives to everyone you meet. She is asking, simply, if you could just be yourself, lifestyle choices included, all of the time... would you?

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 86

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 9:59:29 AM

vorticity

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Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

My li'l sweety has a 4" x 6" "PROPERTY OF <ME>" tattoo, but it isn't normally visible in Walmart. That said, I'd no more put a Concerned Women of America member in the position of having to notice our kinkiness than I would welcome an unsolicited opinion that we were going to go to Hell for our perverted ways. It just seems fair.

--
Conan Da Librarian / Vorticity

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 87

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 11:16:14 AM

OnlyMels

Posts: 115
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

Funny timing me and my Daddy were just talking about this the other day. We decided if in the extreamly unlikely event that we took on a third that we would just tell our well my family that it was a friend living with us. Sadly I recently found out my mom was into the same lifestyle which has left a mental scar on my brain but i don't think she would understand a poly lifestyle. And the rest of my family is so vanilla that they wouldn't understand anything else either they would probably think I was being abused.

< Message edited by OnlyMels -- 3/30/2008 11:19:17 AM >

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Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It!!

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Post #: 88

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 4:04:16 PM

Arrrchibald

Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline

Absolutely not. I told a couple of former close friends once. Who told their friends. Who found it a bigger deal than I could possibly imagine.

The conservatives among them think all bdsm is a sin. The liberals among them think all bdsm is r*pe.

There's simply no good reason to discuss it with narrow-minded judgmental idiots who jump to conclusions (99.99% of people).

(in reply to OnlyMels)

Post #: 89

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/30/2008 4:25:57 PM

metalmiss

Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline

With the exception of very few people (like my gran for example), everybody in my life is aware of my lifestyle choice & they have since the beginning..
That includes my immediate family and the crowd of vanilla lads that i spend my time with when i'm back home to visit. i couldn't live with it any other way.
i am very open with anyone who walks into my life about my lifestyle no matter who they are.. if they can't accept it or have a problem with it then as far as i am concerned they don't belong in my life.. i don't see why i should have to cover it up or make excuses for the benefit of somebody who is at first a virtual stranger.
As for public situations, i also have no issues at all with calling Him Master wherever we are.. Similarly to what i said before.. if anyone out there has a problem with that.. Its their problem. i don't flaunt what i am, but i don't see the point in hiding it.

< Message edited by metalmiss -- 3/30/2008 4:27:02 PM >

_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 90

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/31/2008 7:09:44 PM

andreaC

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline

My close friends are aware, my sisters and mother too. My mother understands more than my sisters do, but she can see that i have a great Master, partner, confident and my best supporter which makes me happy. One person i will never tell and its my dad.........he wouldnt understand period.

_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
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(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 91

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/31/2008 9:01:40 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Ah, yeah, neighbors, no I wouldn't tell because it doesn't impact them like it would friends or close family.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Ahh... but the OP said this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

Would you if you could?

If it were possible for your friends, family, neighbors,

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 92

RE: Would you if you could? - 3/31/2008 9:52:17 PM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

Would you if you could?

If it were possible for your friends, family, neighbors, to know what type of lifestyle you live, either a sub/slave or a Dom/Domme or a switch, and be accepting of your choice, would you tell them?

Many of my friends, a few of my family members and my adjoining neighbors (Thanks to my dear smilezz's ability to project her voice so effortlessly whilest in the throwes of passion or whilest referring to me as an "Evil Fuck!" while the windows are open.) already know about the way we live our lives. There are some skewed judgements, but I am happy enough with my life that we are able to disregard the thoughts of people who are not involved with our relationship with each other.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 93

RE: Would you if you could? - 4/1/2008 1:03:02 AM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I've noticed that when people don't know, or are uninformed, the normal reaction is to assume the worst. It seems to be human nature. I would rather everyone that interacts with us know the truth then to assume the worst. For all I know, those that don't see use interact all the time may be thinking, "wow, that woman must be dense, everyone can see that the woman living with them has a thing going with her husband"...

I think Jewel hit the nail on the head with this part of Her response ... it's hard to hide basic attraction to someone else, even if you try a safe vanilla cover story such as "room-mate", "friend" etc. When We took some people into confidence about the true state of the relationship between Master, My then sub-hub and Myself, more than one said "Oh thank God for that! It was obvious you and He (Master) were very close and we wondered what on earth was going on!" The love between Master and I was clearly palpable and obvious to them. Even My Mother who doesn't know the whole story, wasn't entirely surprised when I left hub and went off with Master ... she said she knew all along "something fishy was going on!" And yet We'd tried hard to minimise the amount of time Master and I spent together in her company (not hard, she's bedridden) until it was out that We were an item.

Frankly, I'd rather friends and neighbours knew at least that whatever is happening is out in the open and agreed to by all parties, even if there's no desire to go into more details. Better that than for them to think one or the other of us is stupid or being cuckolded or cheated upon!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 94

RE: Would you if you could? - 4/1/2008 2:00:24 AM

shysub0951

Posts: 132
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline

A couple of my friends know about the lifestyle, but i would never try to tell my parents again.

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 95

RE: Would you if you could? - 4/1/2008 10:06:03 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Ah, yeah, neighbors, no I wouldn't tell because it doesn't impact them like it would friends or close family.

Two of our neighbors are our closest friends, and we a good friends with the rest, but there are only 6 houses on our street.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 96

RE: Would you if you could? - 4/1/2008 10:10:01 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

Frankly, I'd rather friends and neighbours knew at least that whatever is happening is out in the open and agreed to by all parties, even if there's no desire to go into more details. Better that than for them to think one or the other of us is stupid or being cuckolded or cheated upon!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

Absolutely! I could no more hide my feelings than i could hide my boobs.

Instead of seeing something ugly or wrong, everybody around us sees something warm and loving.

We have yet to hear "you guys are sick". Most often we hear "You guys are amazing".

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 97

RE: Would you if you could? - 4/1/2008 5:30:01 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

It's really nice when your neighbors can be good friends, but while our neighbors are nice and I aws kind of friends with her, she works all day and is rarely around, so there's no chance to talk and yack and hang out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Ah, yeah, neighbors, no I wouldn't tell because it doesn't impact them like it would friends or close family.

Two of our neighbors are our closest friends, and we a good friends with the rest, but there are only 6 houses on our street.

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 98

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