RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom

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beargonewild -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:18:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourDaddy123 What do you do when you've made a big mistake and betrayed a trust given to you. No not abuse in anyway, just broek a trust bond? Can a Master/Dom ever get it back or is it lost forever? Not sure what I'd do though much would have to depend on the manner how the trust was broken. There again, if it can be regained greatly depends on the person and how they personally felt if they could find it within themself to forgive.

DesFIP -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:23:11 PM)
Now that's one of the reasons he's been so adamant at squashing any worship of him. He knows he's not perfect, and by making sure I knew it too, things don't play out so badly for us. He apologizes, doesn't repeat the situation, and tries to fix it as much as possible. Now if she lost her job from this, part of your taking responsibility would be to cover her rent while she searches for a new one. Cause a loss of a good friendship? Call the friend up, apologize to them for what you did, and ask them to forgive her.

Cougarandkitten -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:30:46 PM)
IMO..... I dont really think the level of the discretion is going to be a factor anytime, either a person is the type to forgive or they are not. I myself have a very hard time forgiving 100% . There is always an element of doubt after any indescretion big or small, and that element of doubt is the thing that has to be dealt with. Its easy to say I forgive you and lets work on it, but the next time something, even the most vague of resemblances (if thats even a word) happens, the first discretion will pass through your mind. Its all in how you deal with that that will determine weather trust can be achieved again. wow am I in a rambling mood tonight...... Cougar

Sweet1Maybe4U -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:31:27 PM)
Well, Trust is very important to me and my Dominant. Its so important that Im not sure what I would do if I somehow thought that I couldnt trust His judgement anymore. Because that is what it sounds more like to me regarding your situation. She would probably still trust you to "play" but maybe You are thinking more along the lines of her trusting Your judgement? Am I correct? That's a different thing. I really trust my Dom's character. I know that the way He is today, will be the way He is tomorrow. There is comfort in knowing that it doesnt change and I can relax into His leadership. After all the time weve been together I trust that He will do what he says He will do. Time after time He has given me a solid foundation to build for our relationship. We all have faults and shortcomings. A momentary slip doesnt mean a whole relationship should be thrown away. But it would be hard to deal with trusting Him to make a better judgement the next time temptation came along..whatever that temptation is.. If she is willing to meet for coffee? Well, half your battle may be won already. She must care for you otherwise why bother? The thing is, Your word is Your legacy...she'll know..her girlfriends will know...her mom...half the girls she meets here...etc..get the point? If Your word is worthless then why would she want to belong to You? Your self value is more important than looks, money, experience..etc. because it shows how easliy she can follow You and respect You. If even You cant rely upon Your value how can she? ..just my 2 cents.....

GreedyTop -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:33:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourDaddy123 Its not that see it as undomly i admit i made a mistake but to my lil ones eyes i was to be perfect and i tried to control a situation i had no right to control. It was more a question so to see if others have tried agian when the trust was lost,, and if it worked out. Its not that I am new to the lifestyle jsut been ut of it for a few years and now it seems i maybe trying to hard to make a good impression and thus really screwed things up... hmm.... ok, my next question is in what way did you break this trust? Was it something you did KNOWING it could have that affect? Or was it something that she (unrealistically) expected of you?

nwcutie102 -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:35:57 PM)
we all make mistakes..... depends on the kind and the amount of hurt. i sincere apology is a good start

YourDaddy123 -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:37:02 PM)
The thing is, Your word is Your legacy...she'll know..her girlfriends will know...her mom...half the girls she meets here...etc..get the point? If Your word is worthless then why would she want to belong to You? Your self value is more important than looks, money, experience..etc. because it shows how easliy she can follow You and respect You. If even You cant rely upon Your value how can she? ..just my 2 cents..... [/quote] Yes, and at one point my word was beyond reproach in certain areas of the lifestyle, and i jsut let a single action, a laspe in judgement per say, to let all i worked for go flying out the window

MaximumPain -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:38:55 PM)
I know a girl who recently had a Dom who tied her up, blindfolded her and then went through her purse while she was in subspace. This was a noncommitted realtionship and he knew she dated other people. He went through her text messages and found the name of a guy that she had a lunch date with the follow day. The next day he got online and sent a text message from an interent site to her phone saying it was from the guy she had the date with. It said something like "Dont contact me ever again". The sad thing about it is that she trusted him like a best friend. She was scared to even ask him about it and when she did he lied. Then when she found proof on his computer he yelled at her still claiming he didnt do it. Later he sent an email apologizing. What on earth would be the point of such a childish act. Clearly myself and other friends told this sweet sub to stay well clear and move on.

YourDaddy123 -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:41:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop hmm.... ok, my next question is in what way did you break this trust? Was it something you did KNOWING it could have that affect? Or was it something that she (unrealistically) expected of you? Honestly no i didnt think that it would have had that kind of affect, but after i was done i found out just what it really did cause. Was it an unrealistic expectation? maybe the knowledge that lead up to the offenese and the reason for the offense, but agian i know better

YourDaddy123 -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:44:23 PM)
1

GreedyTop -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:45:06 PM)
Well, on the bright side... she now knows that you are GASP human, and therefore fallible. My advice is much the same as it was: be an adult. own your error (and as someone else said, apologize, don't make excuses..). A sincere "I'm truly sorry, I screwed up royally. Please forgive me". again, whether or not she does depends on HER ability to forgive (or perhaps accept that the pedestal she apparently had you on was built of straw). best of luck, man...

cuddlemesoft -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 7:58:18 PM)
So do you think she will forgive you?

Sweet1Maybe4U -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 8:01:52 PM)
It would be easy to say to her, It wont happen again...It was just a single mistake...ALL that is cliches~lines every girl has heard from the time she began to date. See, what most girls do not let men in on is that we are searching for the lies and indiscretions, faults, shortcomings...all those things when we begin to actually really care about the Man. Its not something that really happens in the first part of the relationship. Because that time is all roses and He's soooo wonderful...Its when reality of a committment sets in that she looks for stability. It happens at different times for different women but it happens. YOU, my friend have crushed her view of stability. Disappointment is a rude awakening for less experienced women. Take me, Ive been hurt a few times so by the time I met my Hunny Bunny my expectations were concretely set in reality. I saw Him as a Man along with Dom. Visions of dirty socks and underwear do not fill the eyes of the young starstruck girls when they fall in love. They envision His grand leadership and strength..his loving voice, strong arms..etc... He's invincible, He's going to take care of all her needs..That is waaay too much to thrust upon a Man...ANY man.. Afterall, A Man is only looking for the same things we are. Do you expect her be without blemish? Is she spotless? What kind of expectations do you want from Yourself..and her? Maybe those are things that should be considered..

YourDaddy123 -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 8:02:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cuddlemesoft So do you think she will forgive you? Honestly I dont deserve it and i doubt that she will ever and if she does will there be enough time to prove myself to her be it the next 10-20-30 yrs or more. Either way it wont be something i will forget...i lost more than i ever thought i would

GreedyTop -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 8:06:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourDaddy123 quote: ORIGINAL: cuddlemesoft So do you think she will forgive you? Honestly I dont deserve it and i doubt that she will ever and if she does will there be enough time to prove myself to her be it the next 10-20-30 yrs or more. Either way it wont be something i will forget...i lost more than i ever thought i would hugs I hope she forgives you.... with the above sentiment, I think you're on the right track

cuddlemesoft -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 8:09:13 PM)
How long have you known this girl and how serious was the relationship? Was she collared by you?

YourDaddy123 -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 8:11:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cuddlemesoft How long have you known this girl and how serious was the relationship? Was she collared by you? Still in the early stages, how serious was it ti guees the best way is to say it depends on the day of the week and the time of day..it was a bit uneasy which lead the the fault....

cuddlemesoft -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 8:12:23 PM)
I feel sorry for this girl...You didn't do anything this bad did you?

cuddlemesoft -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 8:14:05 PM)
Sorry I forgot to quote Maximum Pain from above...ooops

YourDaddy123 -> RE: Handling a mistake as a Master/Dom (3/27/2008 8:15:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sweet1Maybe4U It would be easy to say to her, It wont happen again...It was just a single mistake...ALL that is cliches~lines every girl has heard from the time she began to date. See, what most girls do not let men in on is that we are searching for the lies and indiscretions, faults, shortcomings...all those things when we begin to actually really care about the Man. Its not something that really happens in the first part of the relationship. Because that time is all roses and He's soooo wonderful...Its when reality of a committment sets in that she looks for stability. It happens at different times for different women but it happens. YOU, my friend have crushed her view of stability. Disappointment is a rude awakening for less experienced women. Take me, Ive been hurt a few times so by the time I met my Hunny Bunny my expectations were concretely set in reality. I saw Him as a Man along with Dom. Visions of dirty socks and underwear do not fill the eyes of the young starstruck girls when they fall in love. They envision His grand leadership and strength..his loving voice, strong arms..etc... He's invincible, He's going to take care of all her needs..That is waaay too much to thrust upon a Man...ANY man.. Afterall, A Man is only looking for the same things we are. Do you expect her be without blemish? Is she spotless? What kind of expectations do you want from Yourself..and her? Maybe those are things that should be considered.. You have a way of hitting that nerve to make me feel worse than i already do, but i thank you for that insight when i had 1st got into this lifestlye in the clubs we (i included) used to help protect new people from the "hawks" who'd look for the new prey and feed on them...no i look over this and see how much i really have failed not jsut in this fualt but in others

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