RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off?

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RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 3/28/2008 2:41:45 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

What atracts you to a Dominant, and do you feel is truly importent??

&

What is a total turn off for you ?

I wish you all enough.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

What attracts me most is a sharp, and well developed intellect. If someone's going to have the oppurtunity to "get in my head" he needs to be mentally strong...otherwise my brain gets all "flacid".

A huge turn off is the loud, aggressive,pushy dumb-ass that pretends to be a Dom...but isn't. We all know the type. And he's so dumb, he'll be reading this post agreeing with it, and not realizing he's the one i'm describing...sad, really....

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 21

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 3/29/2008 12:14:41 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

Thank You all for your responds, so intelligence is a number 1. Some even see that in the first 5 minits?

I think that will takes time, to develope,
to see His/Her good sides.
As everything takes time in life.

Thank you all kindly for
responding.

Have a sunny weekend.
Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Post #: 22

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 3/29/2008 7:00:44 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

same qualities that attract me or turn me off to anyone:

good = moral/ethical beliefs/values

bad = narcassistic tendencies

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 23

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 3/29/2008 10:52:56 AM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

but the aboslute hum dinger of a turn off

CALLING ME LITTLE ONE!!!! ... am 5 foot fricken 10 ... My ass is the size of a small car... I AM NOT LITTLE!!! metaphorically, literally, OR OTHERWISE

Yes, there's nothing worse than a dominant who's determined to, er, belittle submissives on a regular basis. But considering you're in the UK, are you sure the men who call you "little one" aren't just applying a subtle humiliation technique laced with a bit of British irony?!

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 24

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 3/29/2008 1:19:14 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I like intelligence, but I find people show those traits over time. I have met men who can speak a good game but lack common sense. More than intelligence, I like men who enrich my life. Guys who encourage my thirst for knowlege and are not threatened by what I know.
I love a man who is secure in himself and has reason to feel pride in what he has accomplished in life. And for me that does not mean being happy being an illiterate bum, though that is perfectly ok if it works for someone.
I love confidence, leaning toward arrogance, but lacking a feeling of superiority.
I prefer men who know what they want and know how to get it. I am somewhat reckless and make impulsive decisions but I never regret my choices. I like men who do not fear change, and will make that quick choice.. but with measured thought and reason to back it up.

What turns me off is... living happily in ignorance. Believing that because you are "A, B, or C" you are entitled to be in charge. But what bugs me most are men who run from confrontation. Men who would cheat on their wives but do it discreetly so they won't be hurt. I dislike men who hide rather than face the consequences of their actions.

Basically, I like me, with a penis, a lot more confidence, and the sharpness to know how to keep me in line.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 25

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 3/29/2008 5:46:06 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

Turn-on: Intelligent, articulate, successful (meaning that he sets high goals for himself and achieves them), gray hair (at least some), clean-shaven face, hairy chest & belly, witty, calm, self-possessed, good conversationalist, communicates clearly, a little arrogant, social, mannerly, teasing, optimist (or at least neutral), honest, unintimidatable, older than I.

Turn-off: Suspicious, whiny, blames most things on others, closed-minded, pessimistic, gross (in personal hygeine) ... hm. Maybe more but I'd rather concentrate on the turn-ons.

(in reply to gallowmere)

Post #: 26

RE: What attracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight... - 4/10/2008 9:39:43 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

their smile is the first thing i notice and how they carry themselves, respect and caring are some of the essentials. turn offs are uncaring and arrogant personality unsafe/unsanitary play practices. as far as messages i don't look for faults it the message but instead i look at the content of the message. the real test for me is the first meeting how the interaction is how i will mesh with them. honesty is a must.

(in reply to batshalom)

Post #: 27

RE: What attracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight... - 4/10/2008 11:19:12 PM

madshysoul

Posts: 105
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline

Attracts:
Sense of humor
Involvement in things outside BDSM
Argues with me (as versus -at- me)
Tastefully dressed/groomed
Multi-faceted person

Turn-offs:
Drinks excessively
Drug use
Gossipy/snideness
Can't discuss anything outside of kink
Sees me only as a 'sub' and not a person

_____________________________

"Saying that after You I'll never need another Top doesn't make me think you're incredible. It makes you sound like a serial killer."

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 28

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/11/2008 8:38:20 AM

KaineD

Posts: 497
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

I'm curious reading the turn off "a life more fucked up than mine" from a couple of people. Does that mean that even if your life is disordered, the Dom's life should be in order? I mean, we all have problems.

(in reply to gallowmere)

Post #: 29

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/11/2008 10:38:41 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

What madshysoul said. Plus a great set of long legs.

(in reply to KaineD)

Post #: 30

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/11/2008 10:44:20 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Define "long".

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 31

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/11/2008 8:02:14 PM

outlier

Posts: 1111
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Define "long".

Cali

Cali,

Here you go:
Long Legs Are More Sexy, NewScientist Jan 2008

It even has color coded silhouettes.

Outlier

< Message edited by outlier -- 4/11/2008 8:05:27 PM >

_____________________________

Avatar from xkcd.com

"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 32

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/11/2008 8:39:16 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Deal breakers; not staying in contact with nor supporting ums. That's the biggest way for me to despise a person. Out of control anger; including doing wildly inappropriate things to get even with someone especially if it's a minor thing. And boasting about how your anger got you fired multiple times is a dead giveaway. Passive aggressive isn't very thrilling but it beats rageaholics hands down.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to gallowmere)

Post #: 33

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/11/2008 8:58:50 PM

HardToTame

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline

For me, the first thing to turn me on is how much she can fit into my little neiches. Obviously she has to LIKE being domineering. That's the first major turn on, a girl who is domineering not because she know's it's attractive but because she is.
Self confidence, intelligence, morals and ethics. Also, creativity.   Humour, I don't particularly care about. I don't need her to be funny, but I want her to find me funny because, I'm there to make HER happy.   Seductiveness. ... She has to be able to seduce me to do her will. Not just assume I'll do it straight off the mark, but, kind of tease me and sleeze me and seduce me into seeing why she's such a catch that I should submit to her every will. Also, a girl who fits into my likes and dislikes. That's VERY important to me. She has to like the same things as me. Not only in the BDSM/S&M/SEX fields, but, also in life.
If she likes the same kind of movies and foods and music as me etc. I can much more enjoy her company as a person. But, see say shes in her corsets and stockings and getting and spanky spanky, she has to be doing it because SHE enjoys it. Not just, because that's her role.  Say I love one aspect, she has to love it to, but from the dominats position.  Which brings me to the turn offs.

Theres nothing more unnatractive than a woman who is being domineering for the sake of it. One who thinks it's all about getting called 'Mistress' and being spanked, and, spanks you and whips you for YOUR pleasure, not her own.   If she's not getting off to it, neither am I.   .. 2nd biggest turn off. Immaturity. Immature gossip whores.
#3- Girls who, don't know how to assert authority. The ones who don't know how to move onto the next step because they're not sure if maybe they're breaking a rule and lastly.

Girls who like putting things up guys asses. NO WAY!  If she wants me to put something up hers, fine, thats what I'm there for, but girls who enjoy seeing guys take it in the ass, for their own, viewing pleasures, is a MASSIVE turn off.   That says to me that she wishes she was a man. I'm sorry I know it might sound sexist or maybe even homophobic, but theres no bigger turn off in my eyes than things going up a mans arse, or penis torture.   There's some parts of a man you don't fuck with.

(in reply to outlier)

Post #: 34

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/12/2008 6:03:24 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

Turn on
   Intelligence and self-confidence

Turn off
   When it crosses the line into "know it all " and arrogance..
    bragging is a turn off..

Turn on
   Sense of humor.......Can make me laugh and can laugh at themselves too.

Turn off
   Unable to have a serious conversation because everything to them is funny or laughed off...
   Uses cutting humor to hurt, or at someone elses expense.

Turn on
   Listens..truly

Turn off
   Waits to talk instead of listening..and impatience.

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 35

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/12/2008 11:26:39 AM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

Major turn ons are: intelligence, confidence, a huge sense of humor, playfulness, being a leader in all parts of His life, being able to make me melt with a look and i think all of us subbies KNOW that look!

Another major turn on for me and something thats only happened once is when He walks into a room the will of submitting is too strong it over comes me. Being strong is a major turn on!

Major turn offs: Cocky(i can not stand cocky people), no sense of humor(i joke way too much for Someone to not have one), treating me like a dumb sub ( i have a brain ;) and use it too!), Lazyness(can not stand that in a man!), Not being clean, smoking is a small turn off but nothing i cant handle.

Those are the basic turn ons and offs for me.

(in reply to gallowmere)

Post #: 36

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/12/2008 11:46:44 AM

lalbobbilynn

Posts: 483
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

~Intelligence, humor, open-minded, good kisser, overall attitude, smell, respectability, and how they speak of another behind said persons back.

~Inane, bossy, self righteous power-trippin' bedroom Doms who offend my sense of olfactory!
b.~

(in reply to gallowmere)

Post #: 37

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/12/2008 2:16:44 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

What immediately turns me off is the dominant who has "explored" with a few submissives and then treats me as a generic submissive, as if I'm going to respond the same way the last 20,000 did. I'll usually wander off and let her find someone closer to a stereotype serve her.

What attracts me? A woman who comes on REALLY strong in the beginning and doesn't let up. I think that's been the one reason why I don't end up linking up with people. When they come on wishy washy, I just sort of get the impression that's the way it's going to be all the time. I'd give my kingdom for a woman who stepped in, took over and gave me no time to breathe before she cemented the relationship. It's happened in the past, but it's been really rare.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 38

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/12/2008 2:27:08 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I like intelligence - but it has to be combined with a broad education. I don't like trying to explain literary references to common cultural icons.
A sense of humour that meshes with mine - more Monty Python than Benny Hill.
Self confidence and self worth are important. Can't be dominant if you don't have these.
More sensual than sexual - i love touch and play. Not that i don't like sex, but what do you do with the other 23 hours and 59 minutes? lol.
Must shower and brush teeth every day.
Must have health insurance.
the rest is gravy!

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 39

RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight ... - 4/12/2008 2:32:53 PM

abcbsex

Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline

the absolutely worst thing a dom can say to me is "I'm used to getting what I want." I respond with a "good for you" reaction and at that point the conversation is over pretty quickly.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 40

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